I'm going through the same decision process with soapstone counters and marble backsplash. I brought home a sample of a polished calacatta board - with mini (1"x1") tiles. It has a a lot of variance in terms of some tiles that are warm and creamy-even golden; others are grey, cool and veiny, etc. Anyway, the lady there told me that she would do polished because if they etched you would never notice it, but you'd still get the "bling" from the polished ones. I'm learning that I personally prefer a mix of shiny and matte in the kitchen (as well as cool and warm tones ) so that's why I'm thinking if I go with soapstone I want something texturally different. Having said that, though, it depends on how shiny you want your soapstone. If it's going to be oiled, I think a honed marble (if that's the direction you're going) would be a beautiful contrast. Have you brought both samples home and compared them against a sample of your soapstone? You might even want to take a few pics and post your options - and have the forum vote. They'll give you their opinion :). Good luck - it sounds like it will be beautiful!