*cough* *cough* *cough*

Yea, so... the reno in our house is north of 100,000 and we're not doing the kitchen this time round. So.

Right there with you.

Also I can hear the airport from where we live, oddly no one else seems to mind. I think they're all crazy, they think I have bionic hearing. (There is not road noise, so I like to think there is just a road ... in the sky).

At the same time, I'm ... incredibly grateful for the ability to do this. If my biggest problem in life is that I can hear a plane from time to time and that my reno (with a hilariously expensive tile job for the fireplace) seems to not be moving at the moment, I am indeed fortunate.

Thanks for the laugh, PaintedLady. While I can't claim bionic hearing, I have an odd knack for being able to tell if something is the slightest bit out of level. :)

I too am happy to be able to do this. I'm in a better frame of mind right now, I think I just needed to vent.

I believe that this is why wine, beer, gin, vodka, and coffee were invented. Cheers!

Thanks Blfenton. Maybe I should change my whine to wine. ;)

You got me laughing, kitchenkrazed09. It is a roller coaster ride, isn't it? I kept pushing back when multiple people told me that a reno would take twice as long and also cost twice as much as expected....and though that's not always the case, it sure is taking us way, way longer and costing way, way more than expected. So I am eating crow :-( But, we are fortunate to be able to do these projects, and even more so in such a tough economy.

It has been hard for me to keep things in perspective at times, though. Even more so with this forum, I have become over-the-top-TKO. I keep repeating to myself, I will get through this, I will get through this...while trying to remember to walk through the "fun" door vs. the "stress" door.

Keep plugging away, you will get there. You are not alone in feeling dejected...we all have our moments. Have fun and good luck!

Thank you, Jmcgowan. I knew that only my fellow GWers would really understand. And oh, how I can relate to being over-the-top TKO.

Yes, I must remind myself to have fun. It started out being fun and we are so close to being finished. All we have left is the fireplace mantel, backsplash, pot filler, re-sanding the brand new floor that was water damaged when the heating pipe was punctured and then painting. Another three months, give or take? ;)

Before you start, you think you are going to have a lot of fun and the only asterisk in your mind is "boy, this costs a lot".

By the end you have decision fatigue, have developed superhuman discernment for things you spent a happy, full life not noticing before (anything cockeyed, chipped, or a quarter shade lighter on Pantone), and have squandered years of hard earned money. The only asterisk in your mind is "how does the stress hormone cortisol really effect aging"?

If you haven't "had it" with renovation, you aren't doing it right.

Our kitchen reno will be at 14 months this Friday.....talk about kitchen renovation fatigue! Ours is 99.9% DIY so I knew going in it would take a year (at least that's what i told DH he could take) He just got the prep sink hooked up on 10/09 and gas to the stove on 10/13 but I'm not keeping track, really I'm not.

When it gets really bad I just think back to the time I was whining to my daughter. I had just opened a bottle of wine and called her on the phone telling her all about how bad it was getting and she stoped me to say "Oh cry me a river Mom...your getting a new kitchen"!!!!! God I love her.

So we just keep plugging away on Cotswold....

Too funny, Mtnrdredux. It's true, I never noticed before the exact positioning of cabinet hardware, whether a kitchen had flush furniture toe kicks, or how much overhang there is on a countertop. I didn't even know what light rails were.

Boylanite2, fatigue is a good word to describe it. We started one of our bathrooms as a DIY project. It took so long we had to hire someone to help us out. Your daughter is right, we must think of the big picture!

I am right there with you. We are heading into 18 mos. I used to ease the pain with wine. I have now graduated to Vodka and food.

I recently went on strike and took a no decision vacation for 1 week. That actually helped. I didn't go anywhere, I just refused to make any decisions.

It seems it has always been this way. My husband and I watched Cary Grant and Myrna Loy in a 1948 film - Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream Home. If you get a chance and like old movies, you will get a laugh.

Here is a link that might be useful: Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House

As I come to the end of my Kitchen redo I can only laugh at your post because I have been in your state many times. Thankfully we have our fellow posters to talk us through the panic, indecision, and plain old stress. And of course the wine.

When asked where to place my kitchen drawer pulls I about lost it. Another decision.. are you kidding me! Lucky for me he reminded me that in a few months when this is all over the minute details I freaked out about wont even matter. I hope that is true.

I have a few last things to be completed and then I can really enjoy kitchen my new kitchen. Good Luck and keep us posted.

Thanks WhiteRiverSooner, I'll have to check out that movie. I also like the idea of a No Decision Vacation (or actually maybe it's just a Decision Vacation, I can't decide!). I will have to keep that in mind for our next project, even though I know it sounds crazy to think about the next project at this point.

Thanks, Rhodygirl. The worst decisions were the ones that had to be made on the spot. Talk about pressure. I'm just not very decisive. I need to mull things over. Looking forward to seeing your finished kitchen!

KK09...Thanks for venting. Makes me feel like I can vent a bit too. I am only at the beginning of my reno, but I was about to whine about it here last night. Mostly 'cause I was out of wine. Which was because it took 4 hours to walk through with the electrician before the 4 hours of signing off everything at the cabinet maker. So I didn't have time to resupply my wine. **Whine** **Sigh**

Where I'm at: every day of demo uncovers a new (often scary) structural issue that needs to be addressed. And heating issues. And water damage issues. LOVE renovating an older home! Oh yeah, speaking of wine ... my future wine cubby went from 3x2=6 bottles to 2x1=2 bottles as a result of some other strange structural thing yesterday. **Sigh** **Whine**

As those unseen but much needed changes add up $$ DH and I crunch the numbers and try to think of what is essential vs non essential in our main floor reno. I guess replacing all the trim/casings wasn't essential...until the trim/casings that was there was torn out and disposed of! I guess we didn't need to change the load bearing post position and closet in the basement with this reno. But now that the drywall is gone and the framing is up... We had budgeted for some "unknowns", and our budget is a bit flexible. But it's not without a limit! Not sure if I prefer being blissfully unaware of how easily my second floor could collapse onto my main floor or that my furnace is going to burn out due to lack of cold air return, or if I prefer to pay to know that likely won't. Ask me when I'm done.

Oh yeah, and I ran out of time to get wine today too. **Whine** **Sigh**

BUT as other posters have said I am very lucky to have a new main floor when this is all done! And I get to wield the sledgehammer on occasion to get out some of my renovation frustration. That's good fun you can't just have any old time! Bring on the happy and begone the whiney!

Thanks for the vent permission. I'm off to scout my temporary kitchen for some remnant of alcohol. Or chocolate. Or something.

I'm too miserable to vent, but I'm very happy to read everyone else's pithy pissiness. Dump on please...

-one very much in the dumps.

Just thinking tonight how weary I am. Our reno has "only" been going since early May. It's actually going faster than "normal." But I can't wait to have actual flooring in and an end to the ever-present dust! This morning I woke up feeling as if my lungs were filled with construction dust. Blech!

Mmmhmmgood - Glad I could help. Ahhh, a sledgehammer. That's what I've been missing.

Aliris19 - Don't worry, it will get better, blah, blah, blah. ;)

Sierrahh - It's amazing how that dust can get through the layers of plastic drop cloths hung in the doorways. By the way, the flooring doesn't stop the construction dust. At least not in my case, but that's probably because we keep having to cut holes in the ceiling and walls for things like moving pendants, making room for the 10" duct for the super-powerful (scarily so) range hood, and the latest one, replacing the upstairs thermostat wire that was nailed into when the crown molding went up.

I knew I wasn't alone. Thanks everyone for sharing.

Also, I think it's easy for me to be far more sanguine about this as we are not living in our house as these renovations have gone on.

So...eh.

I'm sure I'll hit panic mode when our rental is about to expire and the house still isn't done.

The contractor is on notice: come hell or high water we move December.

It sure is comforting knowing we don't suffer alone! We purchased an old house in May, and decided to take on a whole house renovation which included 4 bathrooms, kitchen & laundry rm. We are restoring this mainly ourselves, and I not only suffer from fatigue, but hand and wrist damage (I hope it subsides once I'm finished). A couple weeks back, I was in tears and really depressed on what we did (buying this house) and literally wished a hurricane would blow it away! On a happy note, we are at least not living in the dust and mess, so bless all of you who are! I have done this in the past, and we just need to know, in the end - it will be worth it!

When we started our reno in January (this year) my husband told me I would be in my new kitchen by Christmas. Now he claims that he never stated "which" Christmas.

LOL to all the comments!! My reno has not officially started yet and some days I am ready to blow my brains out over all the decisions. I LOVE design, avid fan of HGTV, etc.....but having to make so many decisions at once is incredibly daunting. Doesn't help that DH travels all week so we only have weekends to run around looking at stuff. Also doesn't help that granite/tile places are either closed or have shorter hours on weekends. Contractor wants everthing sitting in the garage before he starts, and he is getting frustrated I am taking so long to make up my mind on things and even though my kitchen is small and budget is on the modest side (already over budget on cabs and counter!) I don't want to make snap decisions I may regret later. Went round and round with granite choice...wanted to do full-height BS but it was high-end so then we looked at tile, couldnt find anything that excited us and the ones we did find were almost as expensive as the granite, so back to granite BS. Want runnels near sink...almost no one does them here as contractor told me the machines to do them cost $500,000. This is suburban D.C...someone must have that machine! So far, of the granite places that have actually gotten back to me (3) after I sent drawing (to 7 places) $2500 spread in price. Don't even get me started on the appliances!!!! I know I will be thrilled when it's done, but I thought this part would be more fun!!!

Remodeling sucks, no two ways about it. I posted my trials and tribulations over on the building forum back in 2005. It's long since fallen off gardenweb, but I've linked it below if you feel like a chuckle and some commiseration.

Here is a link that might be useful: Chiefneil's moving in diary

Joaniepoanie - I think that's why the decision process is so hard. You're afraid to make a mistake, since whatever it is probably can't be changed very easily or inexpensively.

Chiefneil - You mean it's not over even when it's over?

Just today I had to call the builder and have him re-hang a light fixture because once I put the table back in the kitchen it drove me crazy that it was too far out into the room. It was centered to the room... not my placement of the table. One of my stupid decisions that I obviously did not mull over long enough. UGH! the brand new ceiling is totally complete so now I have a hideous hole to have repaired! He assures me I will never notice. I hope he is right. Bring on the wine...

I am in such a state of anxiety!!! Last week was undo the kitchen. How can I own so much stuff. The living room and dining room are full of cartons overflowing with unsorted stuff. There is no place to sit down except at the computer. The bedroom is due to come apart because the only way from the cooktop vent to the roof is through my clothes closet. But worse than the mess is the anxiety. I love the granite slab when I visit it at the yard, but I hate the photos I see on line. In person I am enchanted. On line I get sick. It's rainforest green.
All the prep work will be done in the next few days and the cabinets get installed Wednesday and Thursday. DH has to
travel so I have a list of things to watch for and make sure it's all done right. Then I can start obsessing over the BS.
I thought I would enjoy this but I am accomplishing nothing at work or at home because all I do is obsess over photos of granite and eat junk.

Yes, I can relate. A year ago the three bidders all said "6 to 8 months". At the time, a friend said "what they mean is 6 AND 8 months." I thought he was joking. We are now at 10.5 months since demo day and have been living in an apartment down the street. We just got a roof, insulation goes in tomorrow, and drywall after that. I have been the intermediary between our architect and contractor, architect and part-time consultant / interior designer, and Sunday night experienced a MOST unpleasant experience when our contractor (unbeknownst to us) sent a fax threatening the electrician with non payment if he didn't give an accounting of where we were / how much more we were expected to owe. The electrician yelled at the contractor (and me), thinking I was colluding with the contractor. He insisted that the contractor fire him or apologize. (he apologized) I am now basically over that, but everyone in the project is a bit on edge because of time / cost overruns. We try to tell ourselves it will be great when we're done, and we're doing a lot of "green" things, including solar, rainwater capture, graywater, reclaimed wood flooring... and a much more open and inviting kitchen in which two of us can cook together without bumping into each other (thanks to many great ideas found in this forum). But we ARE very weary, and now when we are running out of gas, have to make decisions on colors, surfaces, cabinets, floors, etc... and we both have day jobs (luckily mine is home/apartment-based). No way we'll be in by Thanksgiving but PLEEEEEASE let us be in by Christmas.

It is 3:30am and I am sick to my stomach because the latest in a long line of incompetent screw ups is that the countertops went on yesterday but they didn't do an overhang for the stools. I love the granite but we only found anything like it at one supplier in town, don't know if there are any more slabs.

This post is good therapy -- thanks to all. I especially loved Mtnrdredux's post.

I heard a psychologist recently discussing the very real condition of "decision fatigue". Knowing it is a real condition, that can lead to some very bad decisions if not addressed with a rest from decision making, was helpful to me. I know I certainly got to a point in our four month kitchen, bath and porch reno (which began May 18th and basically ended on Sept. 15th) where I felt that I couldn't make another decision. Having a partner who was willing to step in and help with decisions (even though the whole project was very much my "baby") made all the difference in the world. Yes, that and the wine....

For those of you who are still in renovation mode, rest assured that just a month after it is done, you will hardly be able to remember what it was like not to have a working shower or kitchen for 16 weeks, a house full of dust, the constant drone of saws and nail guns, and the nagging feeling that it will never be done.

All for now: I still have a few more decisions to make....

why thank you, Francoise

There was an excellent article on the evidence of decision fatigue in the NYTimes recently (link).

Here is a link that might be useful: research on decision fatigue

Rhodygirl - I have a similar situation. I changed the future furniture layout and now have a box for a light fixture that is really far from the family room seating area. I am debating moving it, but afraid it won't actually be centered unless I have the furniture picked out and have their dimensions. I can't even think about trying to choose furniture at this point, so I'm actually considering removing the light altogether. Why do I need another overhead light anyway? That's why they made table and floor lamps. I already have high hats and pendants at the other end of the room in the kitchen and a chandelier over the table. Also, in the back of my mind is the fact that I would have to choose yet another light fixture to fit in with the other ceiling fixtures. Hmm, will have to mull over the decision whether or not to remove the light fixture, thereby avoiding more decisions.

Sixtyohno - I had to laugh when I read that you are enchanted one minute and sick the next. Rainforest green is a beautiful stone. I can relate though to the second, third and sometimes even fourth-guessing of decisions.

Chaparral - That's a whole separate issue, having to deal with the different personalities of the contractors and subs. Aside from my main contractor who is very easy to work with and takes pride in his work, I have found them to have two basic personalities - hothead chauvinist and the yesser, who will tell you yes they will do something a certain way and then do it completely differently. Sometimes these two are combined. Of course, there are variations to these personalities, such as the one that says, "no it can't be done" when you know darn well it can.

Readyalready - I have spent many sleepless nights worrying about this renovation. I really feel for you and I hope it works out well. Please keep us posted!

Francoise47 - I wonder if you can get time off from work for decision fatigue. Every so often I think of that cartoon (maybe Woody Woodpecker?) where there was a man who was really on edge and needed a nice mental rest, so his doctor sent him to relax on a tropical island. He was shaking and jittery and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Sometimes I feel like him.

Mtnrdredux - Interesting article. So time of day can affect decision-making. I wonder what it means that I make some of my best decisions at 3am when I wake up in the middle of the night. It's as if my brain has been working on the problem while I sleep and I sometimes wake up with an answer or at the very least the realization that there are more, little sub-problems involved.

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, 'If you haven't "had it" with renovation, you aren't doing it right.'

We have been stuck at 90% for months. Money has dried up and the gc quit before we were finished (and after we paid him too much). I have been trying to gather 3 written estimates for 2+ months and it is like pulling something worse than teeth (picture something worse, and the painful kind of pulling). We got 1 written estimate a month ago after being stood up, ignored and had our remaining project rejected by others. Then the second guy who was to give us an estimate borrowed the first one to make sure he had a complete list. We have not gotten his estimate nor the first one returned. We have had 6 people walk through our house to write up an estimate and currently have not one in hand. We can't go to consumer affairs or small claims court without the @#$%^^& estimates!

Our new roof leaks in 4 places, but can't get it repaired until we have written estimates proving the problem. We have many cosmetic and structural issues that are so demoralizing.

I have been cooking on a single burner since April when I got an induction hob on sale, but have been without a stove since Dec 5th. I got the last of my counters approx 3 weeks ago after waiting 6 months since installation of the rest.

I am so burnt, I should change my name to Crispy.

You just have to roll with it ...

A few nights ago I cooked my pasta on a burner in the garage, strained it into a bucket, and rinsed it with the garden hose. I proudly carried it into the room we used to call the kitchen. We dined on paper plates with plastic forks sitting on upside down buckets as the dust was still settling all around us. I was grateful to have a roof over my head (I knew it was there because I could see the rafters) and a warm meal (well, maybe not a meal, but it was nourishment)in my belly. I tried to recall how much I used to like to go tent camping ... I tried real hard.

In a few months, this will all be done, and we'll have so many funny stories to share. (Imagine only one usable bathroom in a house with no doors.)

When the problems arise, and I see things that don't meet my exact approval, I try to remember that I'm looking at everything with a very critical eye. When my friends and family are able to return (without hard hats), they will look on the project as a whole -- and will never notice the little imperfections I see now.

Oh Dianalo (or should I say Crispy), so sorry to hear about your plight. It sounds so frustrating.

SadieV - I hope you keep having fun on your renovation adventure.

Dianolo, my sincere empathy for what you're going through. The sheer stress of having so much to do, so many decisions to make, and all sorts of legal crapola added to whatever your "normal" life is like can be unbearable.

Minor bit of disaster humor - at least nobody died (yet).

We are stuck at nearly complete. I have to go back and redo the sink counter run in its permanent material, no big deal, except we don't have any strong feelings about what to do instead. And I have tile and an area over the seating space where I'm going to do sort of a tile-framed organization area. Or maybe I'll do that next year :)

For everyone else, keep plugging along as much as you can. Be kind to yourself. Remember that as much as they are no fun while happening, meltdowns can be cathartic and clear away a lot of jumble.

Me, Me, ME!!!!! and the rest of the family too! We are so close to the end which I think makes it worse!

Hi,
Pretty new here although I've lurked for awhile. Seems like the place to be for sharing renovation joy and misery, lol.

Loved this comment:

>Before you start, you think you are going to have a lot of fun and the only asterisk in your mind is "boy, this costs a lot".That's pretty much where I'm at now, although having done two kitchens previously, not *exactly* where. I'm trying to remember this is a process and to try to have fun in the process. (repeat that as needed) We bought a 1100 sq ft. house on a river for the beauty of the land and water and definitely NOT for the 1970's remodel on top of the 1950's remodel on top of the 1930's remodel.. oh, several layers later we have studs and crooked subfloors and cheap windows of every style... oh, and inspiration to make it the most wonderful little house to retire in.

I've not had it yet but I'll be checking back into this thread later, I'm sure.

5 months and counting, no kitchen. What's really scary is my refrigerator. I try not to open and think about. Who knows what lurks in the produce section.

Concept of cleaning it out is overwhelming.

I'm planning our kitchen renovation right now. And this thread scares me a little. Can you guys share some of the factors that caused the job to be 2x more expensive and long?

Francoise47 - I wonder if you can get time off from work for decision fatigue. Every so often I think of that cartoon (maybe Woody Woodpecker?) where there was a man who was really on edge and needed a nice mental rest, so his doctor sent him to relax on a tropical island. He was shaking and jittery and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Sometimes I feel like him.

Mtnrdredux - Interesting article. So time of day can affect decision-making. I wonder what it means that I make some of my best decisions at 3am when I wake up in the middle of the night. It's as if my brain has been working on the problem while I sleep and I sometimes wake up with an answer or at the very least the realization that there are more, little sub-problems involved.

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, 'If you haven't "had it" with renovation, you aren't doing it right.'

Wow, not sure how that double post appeared (above).

Firstian, please don't let us scare you away from renovating. Most renovations run into some problems, it's to be expected. However, I am so glad we renovated and I just keep thinking when it's over, the kitchen will be so much more functional, organized, and brighter!

What made the kitchen more expensive? Gardenweb, of course! Not that I'm placing any blame, mind you. I happily went along with the many changes and improvements that I never would have had without GW. If you are really set on a budget, you can do it (just add some padding for unexpected things).

There are so many things that caused delays in our renovation, but I do think a lot of it was unique to our situation. So again, please don't let us scare you!

yes, i have had it, i too am one crispy critter. i do not want to hear the word "GC" again and i hope a big wind gust blows away my project folder that is now jammed with stuff...

i am glad however to know that means i am doing it right. thankfully 6 months from construction start i now have running water and counters! painting needs to be finished and i am moving back into the kitchen this weekend sans backsplash and working finish electrical. i will work on that in the next few weeks.

the prospect of not warming food in a microwave on a folding table and not eating off my lap in a dust covered livingroom is beyond exciting. as others have stated, it has taken about 2x as long and cost more than anticipated! the cats however might be bummed out. they have really perfected their technique of dashing across boxes, temp tables, microwave and other kitchen supplies, up the mantle, down the mantle, across the couch and chairs, up the stairs, down the stairs ... they like this obstacle course and might miss the stacks and stacks of stuff everywhere!

i have learned a TON (first remodel). the original fantasy of completing a bathroom remodel next year (in a house with only 1 bathroom) has been put on hold due to need to replenish funds and recover sanity.