I am so sorry for your troubles. Major contstruction alone is stress enough....and you have the added stress of health concerns. I hope things work out for you and everything gets done in time. Hugs!!

Cindy

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Can you explain the situation (you may already have) that your husband is having surgery (you don't have to say why or what for) and he need to recoup on a single floor for safety reasons, etc.

That said, I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you and say some special prayers that all will go well--surgery and house-wise. Let us know. Also, please take care of yourself during this extremely stressful time. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Forget the house for a minute...I'm so sorry about the cancer (bladder, I assume). Me heart & prayers go out to both you & your family... (Are you in NoVA? If so, Johns Hopkins in Maryland is doing some pioneering work on this form of cancer. You might contact them if you haven't already.)

Now, the house...you have just over a week. What has your GC said? If he's been unresponsive, is he the owner of the company as well or does he have a "boss"? If he does have a "boss", you might try contacting him/her about this.

Are either of them (GC or floor man) returning your calls? If not, is there anyone else you know who does this work? Did you find your current floor man from the GC or from a flooring store? If store, I'd call the store about this as well.

What about the electrician? Is the electrical work critical? Can you live without it for now?

Do you have a functioning bathroom on that level? If not, I'd make that the priority even over the floors! Oh, and the handrails on the stairs.

Not sure what else to tell you...except that if you cannot get anyone to finish, consider covering the floors for now w/cheap sheet vinyl or other non-slippery flooring until your DH has recovered and you can have contractors back in the house.

Hopefully others here will have more/better ideas!

Good luck and I'm praying for you!

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this! I can't imagine the stress you must be under. Like buehl said, I'd think having a bathroom and a quiet bedroom to rest in would be the biggest priorities. Hand held gadgets (ipods, video game systems, those electronic book reader things, etc.) and even battery powered lanterns might be something to think about if the electrical isn't done in time for his homecoming. After he's home I imagine you won't want workmen in the house for a while. I'd try calling someone else, call on friends from church, school, neighbors, anyone who might be able to help out in a pinch. Of course you want it done right but you also need it done quickly. Go over people's heads and explain the situation to higher ups. Where do you live? If you live anywhere near me (I know, what are the chances?) I'd love to bring over meals to help you out. I'd try and figure out the biggest priorities and push to get those done quickly, the other stuff can wait.

Good luck to you, keep us updated. Take care of yourself, too.

Robin

ladyjd, I'm so very sorry to hear about your DH's diagnosis. It is hard enough to cope with that, without your house being torn up too. Take heart, there is so much hope these days for cancer patients. I know many many survivors. I am praying for him.

The others who posted above have some great ideas. Sounds like you are trying to push-push the GC and flooring guy. I would definitely tell them about the urgent health needs to see if that gets them moving (if they'll call you back!). Appeal to them as human beings and ask if they can't shift their priorities to help your DH. If it ends up that they don't get the work done, can you get someone to help you move as much excess stuff upstairs to the finished bedroom and office as possible? In other words, make the upstairs pack-rat central so the lower level is more livable while he recovers? Might be easier in the end to have him downstairs with no stairs to negotiate (even if there were handrails). I am presuming there is a bathroom on the lower level, since you've been living there for awhile.

I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Breathe... and go outside and scream if you need to... and run around the block... and come back here and vent. We'll be here to listen. All the best to you. Keep us posted. -Kim

Thank you all for your kind words and helpful suggestions. I suspect we may need to do our living on the lower floor. This will allow my husband to move around without the need to climb stairs. The clutter is much less, now that the cabinets are installed. Even though some work still remains on them, I have transferred the 'stuff' that was in boxes downstairs to the new cabinets. I piled things in, with only a wink at organization, just so I could get them off the floor and out of sight. This allowed me to open up some of the downstairs living area. It's still not a pretty sight by any means, but we can live with it.

We are so fortunate to have such wonderful friends, who I feel are at our beck and call should we need them. Sometimes you have to experience adversity to know just how good people can be.

About a year ago, DH was rebounding from radioactive seed implants for prostate cancer. We thought we had beaten that, but two months ago, blood in the urine made him go back to the urologist. A biopsy revealed a very small tumor that had penetrated the muscle wall. Sooo--radical surgery on Thursday. I don't want to belabor this, but please see your doctor if you have any of the signs of cancer. My husband did and, hopefully, will not have to worry about it after the surgery.

Thanks again for the warm thoughts.

lady, just wanted to send good thoughts and healing prayers your way.

Is there a deadline written in to your contract? If your GC is way over your written deadline, you could possibly pursue him for reimbursement of temporary living costs (rent a single story/ground floor furnished apartment, for example)

How close are you to being completed enough that DH can live upstairs? The thought of having him on the lower level doesn't sound good to me. Is it a walkout so that at least you could get out in an emergency?

I hope you come back here to vent/keep us up-to-date. Thinking of you today!

Sandy

Ladyjd, I can't help much, except to say, I feel your pain!!! I'm also in a multi level with remodeling going on everywhere. During the two years this has been going on (and seems never to be finished) we have done two legnthy hospital stays with our DS, first six weeks in Cincinnatti and then 12 weeks back east at Hopkins. Each time I had a silly dream that I'd come home to a finished house LOL (and you know it's silly since you're in the same boat don't you?).

I've "put my foot down" and said BE DONE I can't say how many times and even though we moved in yesterday (we had to leave the construction site because it was not good for our baby) I came in to find the bay window seat still not finished, my son's room still not finished, the trims between floors (transitions at doors) still not finished, the master bath...still not finished, and the rest of the kitchen...still not finished. We have company coming to stay with us on Friday (HI MOM!!!) I just hope to make this mess of boxes and construction livable.

I'm telling my GC to take time of on Friday and for the next week. I'm not going to lock mom in the bottom level with me, the little guy (he's almost 3 now), the dog and the cats. We'll just muddle with whatever we have done on Friday morning I guess. I'll have him back, but frankly I need a break so I'm sending them all away (artist, plumber and gc)! Maybe that break would work for you too? Have them all leave you alone for at least a week after the surgery on Thursday so you can have a week of peace when DH comes home?

I want to send you my prayers for a quick recovery for your DH and for your entire family who must be worried about all of the stress you're going through right now. I really do feel for you, and completely understand the need to scream!

Wow, I opened this post thinking it was going to be another "my contractor is a loser" type rant, and here you are facing an honest-to-God life crisis, and you really are being so calm about it. Your poor husband! Sounds like you've worked out how you'll make do with the remodel chaos, but I hope your project is done ASAP. I hope your husband doesn't have to have his entire bladder removed; that seems drastic but I am not a doctor so what do I know. My own dear father was diagnosed with urethral cancer a year ago. A penectomy was advised but a star urological oncologist at Mass General was able to remove the cancer and reroute his urethra. So please make sure you are getting a rock star surgeon, and that your husband is getting the best surgical solution. In medicine, like any profession, there are docs who are at the top of their field, and you want one of those guys! Please make sure you are seeing a top urological oncologist-- not just a urologist, and not just an oncologist.

Poor hubby. Poor you!

I can't offer additional advice except let your friends help you out. Don't be proud or timid--go ahead and ask. They want to help and you can repay them soon (hopefully!) with a great party in your new kitchen.

Good luck!

Ladyjd, I don't know if I have anything constructive to offer. I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you and your husband. I hope the surgery goes well and he has a speedy recovery.

Best to both of you!!!

ladyjd... more thoughts and prayers your way. As to the house, what'll be will be. Don't worry about it. You'll need to expend your energies toward taking care of yourself so you can help take care of your DH. Best of luck!

>>
We are calling the GC and floor man like crazy, because we will have to have one level living very shortly and DH won't be able to go up and down stairs (especially ones without handrails), but at this stage, I am not sure we will see any workmen anytime soon.
>>

This is maddening -- I'm furious on your behalf!

We too had a big remodel going on in 2006, and juuust after moving everything and everyone downstairs, we discovered that baby#3 was on the way. This set a real deadline for the contractors, but they *still* didn't finish. And I was much too sick and preoccupied to keep after them, even when a precious 3 weeks ticked by and no one showed up at all. At some point they figure they can't make the deadline anyway, so they *really* back off.

In retrospect, I'm sorry I didn't call them first thing every morning when they weren't there by 8am, sick as I was and busy taking care of the other two. BE the squeaky wheel. Tell them if they can't do it, you'll find someone who will. SOMEONE has to get the guy's attention, it might as well be you.

I absolutely should have done what others have advised: get friends involved to help. Friends often feel SO helpless when you or someone in your family is sick; they'll likely be thrilled to have a substantial way to make a difference. Get someone else to bulldog the guy. Cancer is serious sh*t -- pull out all the stops.

For what it's worth, I read on another thread on this forum, or was it somewhere else, I forget, that these words have a magical effect on people: "I have a problem, and I need *your* help."

My husband had to send a banging, sanding, power-tool-using worker home the day we walked in the door with a brand-new baby. I don't want to have to go through that again -- or you!

Good luck and brace yourself to WIN a big fight -- and I don't just mean the contractor.

Ladyjd-Since my kitchen remodel is complete, I visit GW only occasionally. I got on tonight because I feel like screaming tonight myself. My dad just gave me the news tonight that he has been diagnosed with bladder cancer and it's the aggressive form. My eyes are so red and swollen from crying all evening, I'm a mess. I'll face the reality of treatment and all tomorrow, but tonight I'm just plain sad. I'm hurting and praying for you, your husband, my dad and our families.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's illness. Certainly not as serious as cancer but during the major remodel, I had to have bilateral total knee replacement. There is probably no way to complete the work in time for your husband's homecoming. Just carve out a protected space for his recovery. My husband moved our bed into the laundry room and that was was protected area. Just me and the hot water heater. I had my TV there, bed, window and small fridge. We also had an open plan and mainly because of the floors, you have to find that protected area where ever you can. Bless your family.

ladyjd, I am so sorry to hear about your husband's upcoming surgery and the stress of the renovations not being complete when you need them to be. I am sending comforting hugs and I am hoping the surgery is a success as well as hoping that the contractors get moving on the project now to finish it or get more of it done soon.

This is a bad day for GW...I also got news this evening that my father has cancer in the lymph gland in his neck and that surgery would be so invasive/radical that they're going for chemo & radiation first. So, Ladyjd and MountainBasketMaker...let's all pray for each other and our families.

To all three of you, I'm sorry about these illnesses. I will pray for each of your families; that the cancer be taken away, and that you all be granted strength, courage, and comfort. Take care.

Oh buehl, from so far away, let me send you my hugs! I'm so sorry for the stress your family is now under. I will pray for you all, and for both the OP's family, and mounain. What an awful week for everyone. You make my trivial (won't they finish the damn kitchen!!! thoughts...well trivial as they really are!

To all of you, my thoughts and prayers for a swift resolution to everyone's problems and illnesses. We have begun the long countdown to my husband's surgery tomorrow. He's drinking the quart of mystery liquid that will cleanse his innards for the hours of surgery that lie ahead.

And miracle of miracles--the floor man came today and the sanding of the hardwood has begun. They will finish the sanding tomorrow and get the first coat of polyurethane down. By the time my hubby gets home in five or six days, we should be able to live on the upper floor. I don't mind waiting for electricians, etc. I just want him to be able to recuperate with as few complications as possible.

I probably won't be here for a few days, but think of us tomorrow at 8:45 a.m. when the surgery is scheduled.

Thanks again. I love this group!

Hey, folks. I'm not screaming any more. Now it's just a whimper.

The surgery went long, but was successful. DH is coming home tomorrow. There will be lifestyle changes to make, but he's ready to tackle them.

The floors have been refinished, and the odors from the polyurethane have almost dissipated. I came home from the hospital last night to find the granite fabricators had done the buffing we'd requested. OK, I had to live with no staircase between the upstairs and downstairs through the weekend, but almost all the stair treads are in and there is a carpenter taking care of the remainder right now. It would be nice to have the new pieces for our living room delivered in time for the homecoming, and our decorator says she is 'working on it.' AND the electricians and cabinet guys have still not come around.

But with surgery behind us, the above items pale in significance. Give a momentary whimper and then I go to cheerleader mode, rooting for my guy to get back to his super self!

I'm glad to hear the surgery went well and was done swiftly. Bladder cancer after radiation for prostate is VERY serious. We just went through this with my FIL last year, unfortunately the surgery was not in time for him.

I really hope this is the end of the cancer for your DH. I don't want to scare you, but please stay on the doctors to follow up with monitoring and any other treatments to make sure it's gone. After my FIL was diagnosed, I found out about a link from prostate treated with radiation to bladder cancer. And check out Johns Hopkins in Maryland too. I wish we would have known.

I'm also glad to hear the remodeling is moving along too. I guess they got the message.:)

I have thought of you often (even though I am only a lurker here) and send you my best. When I feel frustrated with my build, I think of all that you are dealing with. My problems are small potatoes. My DH is also a PCa survivor. I'll keep you both in my prayers.

Mom2lilenj - We learned belatedly that there could be a link between radiated seed implants and the cancer. We actually consulted a very knowledgeable urologist at Johns Hopkins when all options were on the table. At that time, the surgeon said he would not do surgery on my husband because of his age (75). Now our (local) surgeon tells us that he would have operated because my DH is in excellent physical condition and that it that that should determine when surgery is indicated.

In any event, you can be sure we will continue to monitor his health.

Thanks for your kind words.

ladyjd, I have just seen your post for the first time. I am relieved your husband's surgery went well and that at least some things got done at home in the interim. I hope that his homecoming is uneventful and that he can get the rest and peace he needs to recuperate. In the meantime, you and your family are in my prayers, as are Buehl and mountainbasket. Wishing you all the best and hope you are able to take good care of you, too.

I join with all the other GWers who've said it better than I could: Please know that we are as one in hoping for the best possible outcomes for all fellow members whose loved ones are battling medical issues.

So glad to hear the surgery went well. Sending lots of prayers and positive thoughts for all who are going through the same or similar things here.

ladyjd, there is age bias there too! I would have thought they would have been up on the studies that show healthy older men are quite capable of handling the surgery if they are in good health and physical condition. Well, in a way it's good you saw that bias and can now be on the look out for it again. But it sounds like you found a good doctor and hopefully won't have that trouble again. I'll be praying for you and your DH.