Jerzee, I really thought about what you posted. I asked myself if I honestly was just jealous of her success. I don't think I'm jealous of her success per se, but rather her success made me question my own abilities. She's a top producer at our office, and I'm lucky to have her as a partner; she's helped me immensely and throws lots of leads and deals my way. I just got home after that day and found myself thinking, "What is WRONG with me?" Like PaigeCT, I was thinking "I *should have* done this-or-that. A "proficient" individual would have done fill_in_the_blank..." I believe that's the root of the whole thing. Her success juxtaposed with my horribly bad open house made me question my own abilities, and made me think that I'd made a mistake, I'd never get it right, I'd screwed everything up, etc. While I know those aren't rational, that's where I was. (Poor DH, when I got home and he asked me how it went, I screamed at him, burst into tears and ran back to the bedroom, leaving him standing there with a cookie crumb dangling from his lips and a bewildered and hurt look on his face.) Fact is, when I'm up, I'm pretty much unstoppable. I don't care what the *facts* are, I can get stuff done. But when my confidence is shaken and I don't believe in myself, the world becomes a very scary place! I just need to chalk that day up for what it was; a learning experience. I need to put on my *big girl pants* and go find someone else to help! (Can you tell I'm beginning to become annoyed with myself? I don't have too much tolerance for being down....) Paige, THANK YOU for sharing your own experience. I really emphasizes "That's how life is", and it wasn't just me!! And Susanfnp, I have to say that I've never thought of my "act now---question later" attributes as being GOOD things. I've always considered my impetuous behaviors to be a bad thing, and so I consequently feel guilty about 99% of the time. You really made me realize that I need to have a different perspective! Almost EVERYTHING I do is done without hesitation, and I honestly never looked at that as being a good quality. Just last week, I got the wild hair to remodel a small powder room. One minute I was telling DH that we needed to pick out tile, and then next minute I had the crowbar in my hand removing the old stuff. I felt TOTALLY guilty for 3 days, as I felt like I was "putting everyone out" and not being a good wife, mother, broker, etc. But you know what? That powder room is finished. In 3 days. Why didn't I see that as a good thing before? Wow. What a catharsis. Nothing like seeing your own mess scrawled in black and white on the WWW for a little introspection!! Honestly, thank you. I really do have a different (and much healthier) perspective. And Pecan, I would NEVER turn down your pound cake. It's to die for!

nivea, I agree with you. DH and BM should communicate with each other. But if she calls him to tell him to tell me something because she has a problem with me or something I'm doing, I would think that she'd get better results by calling me directly. It turns into a big drama when she goes to him because she doesn't control herself when she calls him, she gets him at work where he can't really talk and yells at him. Most of the time, he calls me and can only reiterate to me, part of the conversation. Then I'm supposed to respond to him so he can call her back and give her my side of the story? Half of the message can get lost in translation or he forgets everything she said or maybe he interprets it differently than she intends. It gets very confusing, when she could easily let me know what the problem is (with me) and I can respond to it. If it's an issue about their daughter that DH can handle, he does. But, her complaints are stupid to say the least. She will call him and yell at him because I take SD to girl scouts or bake cookies with her. Then she will call him up the next day to tell him she can't be here on time and to have me watch her daughter until she gets here. Even my daughter (17) noticed that I'm damned if I get along with SD (BM calls DH to yell at him that I am not her mom, she is) and I'm damned if I don't (BM calls DH to yell at him that she doesn't like the way I treat her DD or DD is not happy living here). and when we were in court, the Judge commented on how lucky SD is to have a SM like me. He was impressed with all of my efforts to build a relationship with SD. That only pissed off BM and she stormed out of the courtroom. Then, I just found out today that BM called SD's therapist to get info on her sessions. I don't know what the therapist told her, other than she's doing well living here and that I'm a good SM to SD and she shouldn't be worried about SD living here, that she's doing much better. That was a few days before BM started accusing me of abusing SD. (by giving her peanut butter & jelly sandwiches in her lunch, because SD hates peanut butter although nobody has ever told me that until I was accused of being abusive in my lunch making.) I agree that the court doesn't like a new spouse that butts into the custody situation and makes waves, but in my case, BM is the one making all the waves because she has a problem with me. The court saw that and made mention of it. It's not always the step parent that causes problems but if they do, somebody should stop it, either their spouse (bio parent) or the court.

Yay! A lot of Bay Area people here. Firsthouse, I saw your slab at DaVinci. Just beautiful! I, too, have been to so many slab places in the Bay Area (same ones as you, I'm sure, plus all the San Leandro places) and was very frustrated that I couldn't find anything. Your advice was very good... "keep looking! Don't give up and ask if there is new stuff coming in, even at slabyards you have already visited." And I would add...if they have new stuff coming in, ask if there's a wait list. I found what I wanted (at DaVinci, actually), but all the slabs were sold and the next shipment was in a month. I was on my way to IRG (Brisbane) last week to buy my 2nd choice granite (very distant 2nd choice) and I got a call from a slab place (All Natural Stone) in San Jose that said they had a new shipment in and I was off the wait list for my 1st choice (Typhoon Bordeaux). They put my name on 2 slabs. Immediate U turn on 101 to go see it! I NEVER thought the wait list thing would work out. What a relief (demo's in a couple of weeks)! So congratulations, firsthouse mp, and hang in there everyone else! Your countertop is out there! Julie (Woodside, CA)

Hi again. Sorry for the delay. Holiday madness struck! I ended up using the clear torpedos for a couple of reasons. The drippy tipped ones won't work with shades when I get them. And they were just the easiest to go with when I had a thousand other things to do to prepare for the parties I was hosting that week. DH installed a dimmer, and we were good to go! I can't explain how luxurious and grown-up I feel now with the light fixtures completed in this room! ( We'll ignore the rest of the bare bulbs hanging out around the house still. One room at a time!) Now all I need to do is get some sort of little backsplash on the bar area and find a couple more antique oak chairs and that room is DONE! Hydrangea--those clear bulbs in the photos above do have a bluish tint to them. They were those clean, bright white kind of bulbs that are tinted blue. Took them back! A2--I did see and posted there last night. Not sure I had much to add other than I'm so glad your ovens were quickly and easily fixed without much fuss! Here's how it looks with the remainder of the bulbs in place. Thanks again everyone for the encouragement and opinions!