Thanks everyone. We gave him a detailed list itemizing everything we feel should be corrected. He came this morning to meet with DH and said he agreed with the list and will fix all items (which I knew he would - he is a nice person). I guess I'm losing faith that it will ever really be done as well as I feel it should be given that I'm paying for it. We'll see. We were really hoping it worked out because we need the other bathroom done, as well as several other projects around the house.

You haven't been in the middle of this project very long for all of that work to be completed. And I'm not sure why you want to paint your deck. That does nothing but create a lifetime of maintenance issues for you. Decks should be stained, not painted. And that should wait about 6 months for the pressure treated lumber to dry out enough for the stain to stick. Stain it too soon, and it will all come off. Combine paint, and doing that too soon, and you'll be painting it every year rather than staining it every couple of years. Did you have the structural engineer's report about redoing all of those window openings and wall openings? That should have told you what wall depth was possible and wasn't. If the wall needs to be reinforced for support, that will add depth to it. If it didn't need to be reinforced, then that should have been spelled out as well. Did the contractor talk with the engineer directly about the requirements? Lots of contractors have poor communication skills. That's not unusual. It would be unusual to have poor construction skills and poor communication skills and still be a licensed and insured contractor who gets decent references from people who've used him before. What does your written contract say about parting of the ways? The written word rules. Did he pull the permits? Or did you? If he pulled the permits, you need to talk to your local codes office and see if it's possible to transfer them to a new contractor or if you will have to apply for entirely new ones. If you aren't careful, you can have a lien placed on your home by the contractor. Getting someone new may be difficult. Most contractors do not like to come in in the middle of another's job, so you may find it difficult to find someone to pick up the pieces here. They don't know if the homeowner or the contractor was a problem, and they'd rather not take the chance that it was you. Checking out a contractor's license, insurance and references and past work does help to prevent getting the duds. Not always though. I'd recommend trying to communicate with him about your expectations as the first solution. However, some of those expectations are a tad unrealistic, so I'd also recommend that you talk to some other neighbors who've had renovation work done to be able to get some perspective on exactly how long things take and how expensive it is. You are in one of the most expensive locations in the country, with some of the most difficult to access property which makes it hard for contractors to get work done. It takes twice as long, and twice as much money to do the same project in NYC as it would in a suburb with plenty of parking and plenty of room for materials to be delivered, etc. And if it does come down to a parting of the ways, you will want to be sure you do it correctly so that you don't create more problems for yourself. It might be worth it to consult a construction attorney before you go down that path...

Update: The carpenter came this morning and took down the cabinets. To his and my surprise, the glued ones came down very easily - no damage to the cabinets, and very little to the wall. (I almost didn't insist on replacing the cabinets because I was terrified the wall would collapse!) He and I had a cordial discussion about reordering the cabinets. He agreed to price them out and send me the quote so I could buy them where I wanted. He seemed grateful I wasn't going to insist he buy them someplace more expensive. (The result of that pricing exercise is now in another thread addressed to Kompy & LiveWireOak. :-)) Later the foreman came by, and I apologized to him for yelling at him last week. He was very gracious about it, and I think it helped clear the air a bit, at least in my head (and hopefully in his). I still have concerns about using the same carpenter to rehang the cabinets, but I don't have to deal with those *this* week. Also confirmed that the invoice was a computer mistake. Happens all the time. So far, so good - knock on wood!

Years ago, I was managing a gas station for the owner who hired a fellow on a work release program. The guy got paroled if he had a job and the state arranged his room and board. Pumping gas---I did say years ago :-)---was his job. He lasted four weeks before he apologized to me for wasting our time, walked half a block to the police station, apologized to the officer, and slapped the officer. He could not handle being free and felt that was the only way he could safely go back to prison, where he felt safe. I've worked locally with inmate work release programs where county jail inmates perform work release jobs as a part of their sentence. They have a police escort during the job performance(who sometimes works right along side the inmates(who are wearing regular clothing---not jail uniforms). Most of those folks are petty criminals. They made stupid choices and were trying to improve their actions. I have rather strict ideas on criminal justice. Pedophiles are impossible to rehabilitate(brain chemistry forces them to act as they do and they see nothing wrong with their perversions). Repeat criminals are also brain driven---most have read about the bank robber who spends 30 years, gets paroled, and within a month robs another bank. DUI's are one thing, multiple DUI's indicate a person who will not change. I have worked with people who have criminal records, the trustworthy ones made a one time mistake. Most with two or more convictions are not as trustworthy.