I agree with you. We are building a house and it is very easy to get caught up in wanting more and more and more....Then I stop and think about things and how I use them, and what I expect from them. I usually end up deciding on something in between and much more modest. Still beautiful and totally functional.

Daily I try to remind myself "Do you WANT this or NEED this?" What we need is so often different than what we want. The key for me in starting to design a new kitchen is to figure out what I already have that I don't NEED(in my case cabinets-in really great condition, so I'm just going to restain them)so I can replace the things I do NEED with stuff I WANT(replace old white tile countertops-who the heck EVER thought that was ok for a countertop??? with NICE granite). Other stuff we NEED will be replaced as well(backsplash), but my budget is going toward my #1 WANT.

I'm a mostly lurker...finished the kitchen in August. This past weekend I had *the moment* in my kitchen....when my daughter said, let's make cookies and I could just say yes...because I had an oven that worked and I could easily get out my mixing bowls and supplies, and I had enough counter space for the cooling racks, and there was room for me to finish getting dinner ready while she helped with dough.

I'm glad my new kitchen is much prettier than my old one, but mostly I'm glad that it lets me enjoy the process of feeding my family. In my old space I felt like the space was fighting me and making it feel like a chore. The space didn't get any bigger, but it's just better.

I haven't posted pictures yet, because almost immediately after it was usuable it has had the mess of my life all over it...water bottles for soccer practice and apples for an apple pie and the snacks on their way to the girl scout meeting.

I'm so grateful for all the things I learned here to help make the 10,000 decisions in a kitchen remodel....especially the ones about how to make the most of space and storage and where counter space is most needed....thanks to all of y'all.

wish more folks would post pics with " the mess of my life all over it...water bottles for soccer practice and apples for an apple pie and the snacks on their way to the girl scout meeting."

Makes it way more interesting and approachable. All these perfectly dressed and photoed kitchens...I love to see the detritus of life. Give me flour and oil and bread and crumbs. My shelves look exactly like Jaffrey's. I laughed when I saw her spices and black vinegar on top of the cabs...exactly the same ingredients LOL. We have all her books and I love her style.

A well-loved kitchen is a kitchen that is used for those we love. c

clueless, thanks for posting this. I am finally done with our kitchen remodel (still shell-shocked though, LOL) and this is exactly the kind of perspective I wish there were more of on this site.

I learned SO much here about layout and function, but this forum feels like a home design/decorating site a lot of the time. In hindsight I got way too swept up in how the kitchen looks/feels rather than functions (at the expense of the original budget.) There were many things I came to "want" after finding kitchen forum, and most of them I did not "need" ! We haven't moved in yet, but I really hope that I will still have succeeded in making my life easier and increasing quality time with family, like sumbrm so beautifully illustrated.

I'd echo what trailrunner said, too. A kitchen comes to life because of the life that happens in it, not staged life (perfect lighting/accessories/photography etc.) Don't get me wrong I thoroughly enjoy seeing the reveals that make me feel like I'm reading a design blog or Elle Decor, but I most enjoy kitchens that really reflect the unique personality/lifestyle of the home/homeowner. I'm thinking right now of arlosmom, sayde, sabjimata, and actually, trailrunner. I know there are lots of others I'm forgetting right now. (And this is hypocritically coming from someone who just put in an off-white butler's pantry kitchen like 100 other kitchens here!)

It is refreshing to see a kitchen that is not traditionally "magazine worthy" like the link below and see how folks make it work for them. I bet it's inconceivable to most of us TKO'er that this woman is not posting here for how to improve her storage and layout, LOL. But then think of the food being turned out of this kitchen...

Here is a link that might be useful: Tour of kitchen from article

I'm not 100% done, and certainly not 100% satisfied, but enough is enough ... time to start getting the heart beating in mine. I _love_ Madhur Jaffrey's books and so -- while still never cooking anything from a cookbook, I made some chappatis today. I think it's been 25 years since I have, more or less. Dunno. It took me til me fifth or so to get the thing to puff up fully, but I cannot say how excited I was. My youngest shrieked at the oldest to get downstairs *fast* but she didn't make it before it had to come off the flame; there wasn't even time to photograph it!

But my point is to agree with what several have been expressing one way or another: the tools really only take you so far. They're nice, not vital. The lifeblood comes from what you do in the kitchen; your heart infuses its.

Where my kitchen falls short is where I, too, let my eyes cloud over with image and not essence. But before this gets too negative, let me just quickly add that I wouldn't have had the vaguest clue of how to harness function to form without the assistance of so many here. I'll remember always hearing the cabinet-big-honcho who came the other day to inspect the subpar countertops say "crazy-functional" - you sort of had to be there, hear the accent and all. It was cute. Yes, the place is "crazy-functional". Thanks, all.

Wish I'd caught a snap of those rotis perfectly puffed. I'll settle instead for capturing my gratitude for affording the means to make them. I think the tethering heroes on this forum are the layout gurus who keep hauling us back to what it's all about. You know who you are. Thank you.