Didn't expect to feel this way ...

15 years ago

We have been planning our kitchen remodel since January. The whole planning process was very stressful for me, partly because this is the first time I've remodeled anything. Also, I have a tendency to research purchases very thoroughly - usually involving spreadsheets to compare all my options. So for me, the sheer quantity of decisions to be made on the kitchen was almost overwhelming. Then there's the cost of course, along with the fact that most of the decisions are all interconnected and virtually irreversible.

Then we had a really difficult time finding a contractor who would do the job for anywhere near the amount we were prepared to pay. The one who came closest (by being only twice as much) wasn't available until October.

By June I was seriously wishing we had never started this foolish endeavour. I told my DH that I never wanted to remodel anything ever again. That the next time we bought a house, it had to be completely remodeled already, because there was no way I was going to remodel anything. I was not cut out for this. This was not for me. Period. I told him that if it weren't for the fact that our cabinets were already sitting in our dining room waiting, I would have pulled out. But now it was too late to back out.

I was also worried that if I couldn't even handle the stress of the planning, then I would really be in bad shape once the construction actually started. Friends had warned me that it was very stressful and I wondered how I would cope.

We finally found a contractor who would do it within our budget. His bid was half as much as the next lowest, and a quarter as much as the highest. This worried me. I know they say you get what you pay for. He was ready to start right away. This also worried me. His English was not great and my Spanish is non-existent. Another worry. But basically, we were desperate, so we decided to take our chances.

Demolition started in July. To my absolute astonishment, from that first day, I was not stressed at all! It certainly helped that my contractor turned out to be a complete dream. He does great work, is completely trustworthy, is super accommodating, and - despite our language barrier - understands instantly exactly what I want. He has even done a few extra things at no charge. Having a contractor that I can trust has changed everything and I feel completely relaxed most of the time!

Sure, there have been a couple of minor hiccups along the way. Firstly I hated my recessed lights. My contractor has been great about switching them out for me, even though this will involve refinishing the ceiling with smaller holes. Also I had some trouble with his flooring sub, who despite speaking perfect English, I was unable to communicate with effectively. (He also lacks common sense). The floor is not perfect, but I think I will probably be the only one who notices the mistakes. I try to remind myself of the mantra someone shared on this forum - "It won't be perfect, but it will be great" :)

So now our kitchen is nearing completion - mostly we are waiting for the granite installation - and I find myself not wanting it to end! I find that I actually like having contractors in my house and am enjoying the construction phase. It's kind of exciting and energizing. I keep thinking about what else we could do after this (but of course, we won't have any money to do anything else for some time). After spending every spare moment so far this year planning the kitchen in some way, it will be strange not to have that. Weird, huh? And I will miss being on this forum - although I will surely still be around to hopefully give back some advice.

It's kind of like nearing the end of a great book. You want to finish it, to see how it will end. But there's also that feeling of not wanting it to be over.

This is very strange to me. Did anybody else feel this way??

Comments (22)

cookie08
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I also used spreadsheets to compare cooktops, ranges, and sinks.
bluekitobsessed
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Yes, absolutely, partly because I like GW so much -- y'all are wonderful! I have a leftover piece of granite, a $10K estimate to remodel a bathroom, and no money, so now that the remodeling bug has bitten I'm going to do it in bits & pieces.
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rhome410
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
No one says you have to stop living on the forum after you've finished. I've tried to leave...It's a sickness! I think it's just that you develop a love for kitchens and the process that develops them. You can't help wanting to see what others are doing and it helps 'keep the book going' to see and help with others' projects. After all, what would we all have done if all who'd finished their kitchens stopped checking in and were not here to offer their sage advice and encouragement?
amck2
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I don't travel much because I agonize in the prep stages over everything from what to pack to making the arrangments for the dogs, my aging parents, and everything that has to be managed at home while we're away. Every time I leave for a trip I swear "never again, not worth it" and the minute I board the plane, I'm relaxed and fine. I think I need to manage everything under my control, and then when I've done all I can do, I relax.

That sounds something like what you're experiencing with your remodel. You did all the leg work necessary to get things underway, and now you can enjoy seeing the process unfold. Congrats to you on two counts - for having done your homework so that it's turning out well, and for being able to embrace the process.

As far as keeping up with the goings on at GW, there's no reason to leave. I, like many, still have a backsplash on hold. But you really don't need an excuse to stay on. Having recently done a kitchen you can be a source of info to newcomers who are just embarking on theirs. I love kitchens, so I'll probably always be around.
imrainey
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Oh yes indeed! I can't say I'm as methodical as you are but I also had a GC that was very collaborative.

I love what we did together. I found the creative act really exciting. And it's just great to see an idea become reality and to be able to live inside your creation.

I have lots of plans for other projects. ...just not the hard cash. =o

Glad you had such a great time doing it!
yelenatulip
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
aussies, where do you live? may be I can steel your contractor?
mmme
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I'm glad you shared your experience. It's especially nice to hear that your contractor--the classic nightmare set-up (low bid, communication problem, available right away)--is working out so well.

I'm finding the remodeling process very stressful and tiresome, and I can't wait for it to be over. Part of the issue is that we are doing our entire house (not just the kitchen), and I've never done ANY remodeling before. My largest project before this one was hiring someone to refinish a few interior windowsills! The past eight months have been one long slog for me, and I've missed out on vacations, parties, family time, sanity....

BUT we are now just a few weeks away from completion, and I am finally feeling some sense of elation and satisfaction. The house is BEAUTIFUL and I can't wait to get in there! I can't say I ever want to do it again, but the outcome is so wonderful that I don't think I will shy away from it if we do decide to take on a smaller project, like refinishing our basement, in 10-15 years.
friedajune
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
There are a few of us "old timers" who finished our kitchen reno's several years ago, and still haunt this forum! I like living vicariously through others' kitchens, and am already planning for my next kitchen, although it's years and years away. Also, the TKO never goes away. So no reason to leave us just cause your kitchen is finished. Your insight and experience will be so valuable to newbies.
Vivian Kaufman
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
*clears throat*

Ummm,....I'm 7 years past my kitchen renovation...LOL Pretty soon I'm going to have to do it again.

Is there some kinda prize for being here the longest? :)
nomorebluekitchen
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
My thanks to all of you who finished your kitchens and stuck around! When I joined this forum I had a completed kitchen design and was ready to order my cabinets. I posted my design and within an hour, several people had pointed out some weaknesses in the plan to me. Several people spent their own time messing with my plan to make it better. I went from a major low "oh, god, it won't work!" to a real high a few days later when i realized that I'd now had my plan sussed out by the REAL experts and it held up.

Cheers to all of you who finished but still hang around and help us through this, and cheers to all of us going through it who help one another out. This place is one great slice of life!

Anita

PS, Vivian, yes, there is a prize. It is a nice avocado green dishwasher :)
talley_sue_nyc
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Having a contractor that I can trust has changed everything and I feel completely relaxed most of the time!

There ya go!

THAT is what you didn't expect.

And aren't you lucky!

(Just remember, as you get closer to the end, tensions rise. You'll get pickier, he'll get fatigued and a little rushed. It's normal. Be prepared for it, and find a way to work through it (take a 1-day break, something, to freshen you both up.)

Best of luck for the rest!
maydl
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
We moved into our new kitchen this past week. It's just a hair's breadth away from being finished and still needs new furniture and window covering. But we're using it and loving it.

After 14 weeks (a short time, I know, to some of you!), we definitely WERE ready for the remodel to end and to start using kitchen. But there's not a chance in h--l that I could stay away from this forum. I've learned more about remodeling a kitchen here than I could have from a library full of books or a room full of KDs, assuming they all knew what they were about. This online community is incredibly giving of time and knowledge, and for all of you I am truly grateful. I hope I can give back to newbies some of what I've learned here and used in my kitchen.

I'm still posting questions, and last night I introduced to the Forum a friend who is just starting to plan her remodel.

We're going away for a couple of weeks, but after our return the last little pieces should fall into place, and I'll be ready to post photos.
Jim Peschke
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I've spent two years reading and planning for our remodel. Almost a year of that reading here daily (sometimes hourly) and I still can't believe how many decisions there are to be made during the remodel process. Contractors are so used to doing many things "the same old way". You have to be very prepared and vigilant to get something different.

- Jim
carol08
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Thanks for posting this, aussie. We're still in the planning stages and already finding it stressful. We're so dreading the actual construction process that DH and I have been ready to give up at various points already. It's nice to hear that the construction process doesn't have to be the nightmare that so many people have described.
cambro5
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I know just what you mean, aussie! When we finished (but who is ever??? They need to come fix my pantry doors) - I felt a bit at loose ends because I had been living breathing kitchens for 5 months! I still return to the forum and am actually surprised at some of the questions and how silly they seem now - but when I was going through it it was life and death!!! Not to belittle anybody beginning the process or in the midst, every questions is important - that's how we learn!

I've been checking out the home decorating forum a lot now because my new kitchen has made the rest of the house look soshabby!!

I can't even enjoy TV shows I liked while I was remodeling - especially House Hunters because a lot of the kitchens in the prospective homes are horrible and I can't imagine having to start over!! :-)
vicnsb
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I've been asking questions and getting so much
information for over a year now. I am extremely
grateful to those who stick around with the answers!
I love hearing from all stages of the process...thats what
makes this forum invaluable!
kompy
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I can relate. You've heard of 'runner's high'...well I get 'remodeling high'. Being in the business, maybe it's easier for me to relax through it all. Glad you had a good time with your kitchen!
Kompy
houscrzy
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I definitely felt the same way. We did a whole house remodel that took 8 months, but we didn't live in it for most of that time, so that made a BIG difference. I too loved the collaboration and creativity of it. Our contractor and I joked that he would always have a room here, and he occasionally drops by and reminds me that he is still "part of the family." I think after all of those months where it is all consuming, it is kind of hard to switch back to your "other" life. And of course, the house projects never really end...
gardenburgher
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
You're not alone Aussies. I was just about to start my own thread titled, "GW withdrawal. Now what do I do?"

We decided to remodel in November. In December, I discovered GW. We boxed up our stuff in April. So for 8 months, Ive been scouring GW for new information. Now everything is ordered and decided upon except switch plate covers, window treatments and area rug.

Our granite will finally be installed in 3 hours. I'm very excited, but also a tiny bit sad. No more wild searches for the perfect item, maniacally looking for every detail, pro, con and opinion. I find myself scanning the threads looking for something that pertains to me. Then I remember that I donÂt have any decisions to make right now! :-)
caminnc
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Posted by yelenatulip (My Page) on Mon, Aug 4, 08 at 16:48

aussies, where do you live? may be I can steel your contractor?

aussies, maybe I can steel your spreadsheets?
ccoombs1
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I won't know what to do with my free time once I get done. This house is a big 'ol giant DIY project that we are in to for around 5 years. We have done all the work from designing the house and drawing the plan, digging the footers by hand, laying the block foundation ourselves, framing, wiring, plumbing, tile work, just laid all the hardwood over the past two weekends. But now we are nearing the end.....finally!! We are installing the cabinets this weekend, with the assistance of our cabinet builder. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Every day that passes, this house is beginning to look more like a home and less like a construction site. We will probably move in around christmas this year. And then we will start finishing the sunroom and master bedroom. And THEN I will be done....no more house building for me!! My kind and loving daughter was so concerned that I would get bored with all this free time on my hands she offered to let me build her a new house too. Wasn't that sweet of her?? lol!! I told her no thank you...I have plenty of gardening projects waiting for me. I will miss all the planning and decision making, but it will be nice to relax on the weekends for once in a long, long time.
aussies
Original Author
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
It's nice to hear that I'm in such great company :)

I will definitely still be here on the forum, hoping to give back advice and encouragement to others and to live vicariously through others :) I suspect it won't be quite the same though - without the feeling of the adrenaline rush of panicked decision-making LOL. Although I will still have a postponed backsplash to agonize over :)

I really do feel incredibly fortunate to have found the contractor that we have. This truly has made all the difference to me. (I'm in Northern California, in the Bay Area BTW). It also has really only been a month of construction, so I don't know how I'd do with the months on end that I've read some GWers enduring.

Granite is being installed on Monday! I'm nervous but excited ...

Didn't expect to feel this way ...

Comments (22)

cookie08

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Didn't expect to feel this way ...

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