In some of the pictures the cabinets look a little yellow, which makes me think your lighting is the issue. Try swapping them out for cooler bulbs and then pick a paint color.

With that beautiful acacia floor with its distinctive grain I too would vote for something without too bold a competing pattern. A classic soapstone, or a “mist” (Virginia, Silver etc) honed granite or a soft white marble with gray - any of those would look beautiful. I suspect as geologists that you both really “see” stones for what they are as opposed to the general public’s perception of counters as being simply a field of color and pattern. But a deeper knowledge or appreciation of the material itself is not your friend when getting everything to pair well. Ironically. I don’t find Houzz easy to search, but you might see what you can locate pictures of kitchens with acacia floors as your starting point. I would focus on the choices of counters used first, then cabinet color, and finally backsplash. Re the marrying cool tones to warm ones there shades that are neutral but a paint color still will not tie everything together. You can used the same stone for the counter and backsplash though, which eliminates one matching conundrum. Final thought, don’t use quartz - you are geologists - you of all folk should have real stone.

TBH, I feel like there is a large portion of the home buying market that thinks that gray walls are the holy grail. To me, cool gray and warm colors are like nails on a chalkboard but I recognize that I am a little OCD about color. I would ask your realtor's opinion. If they agree that the gray clashes too much with the cabinets, I would paint the kitchen the cream you have in the rest of the house. Or try SW accessible beige which often works well with cool and warm colors.

What is your climate? In a hot area and geographically south, you might want the cooler color, but with lots of snow and more northern light, you might choose the warmer light. What colors do you like to decorate with? Also, how the walls relate to your flooring should be a big consideration.