I'm so sorry to hear of your daughter's near miss. It really makes you want to keep them in a closet wrapped in bubblewrap doesn't it?

I don't know how old your daughter is, but with my 9 yr old, I've found that where other parents are concerned, I've found I'm sort of in the "don't eat the daisies" situation (hope I'm not the only one old enough to remember this book). I can't even imagine some of the scenarios other parents think are okay to let kids get into.

I've had her come home from friends where they let her ride in shovel of a bulldozer driven by a teenager, ride on a 3 wheel atv with no helmet, swim in a backyard pool with no supervision, etc.

The only solution I've come up with is to put the onus on my 9 year old to call mom if she thinks maybe she shouldn't be doing something. Strange that I trust my 9 yr old to make a better judgement call than many of her friend's parents.

rhome, what a terrible scare! Thank God that your precious daughter wasn't seriously injured. I don't even know what to say about the so-called adults in charge.

We live near Lake Winnipesaukee and frequently go tubing with friends there. However, the "tube" they have is designed to seat two people. Nevertheless I still worry about banging heads when it capsizes, which it sometimes does. I don't ever recall seeing 2 tubes being pulled at once. That seems like an accident waiting to happen.

Thanks to you both. I just had to do some venting this morning. DD is 16, budge1.

I am surprised about the adults, erikanh, because they have before proven themselves to be caring, conscientious people whom we trust. I think they just have a woeful lack of knowledge about head injuries, and are not as cautious as I would be with someone else's child. As for the adults our friends' daughter was with, I don't know them, but know no excuse for sending a girl home alone in a car, for an hour's drive, when she had a huge black eye and misshapen face. They never even called her house to check on her.

Pulling 2 tubes is pretty common practice according to our older kids. I think it was compounded to have 2 kids on each. I think if there were 1 on each, if the tubes collided, the kids would likely be buffered by the tubes, and if went airborne, would be less likely to end up in the same spot. I don't know. I'm just grateful she is OK. And my kids aren't too happy about my new, strict "No multiple innertubes" rule...even the one with the headache!

Wow, I'm glad to hear your DD is OK, but geesh! I could see not realizing the full danger with two tubes, but to not call a parent when a kid gets knocked unconscious?!?! Thank God they got her out of the water in time and she's OK!

rhome - I'm so happy your daughter is OK. It's frightening that the so called "adults" present and in charge were not able to act responsibly or with sound judgment. It's just plain troubling that they sent your daughter home without so much as a heads up.

My daughter is 11. She goes tubing with a friend sometimes on a lake. I had checked to make sure they wore life vests and that there were two people in the boat at all times, but it didn't occur to me to ask for details like how many tubes. Fortunately, her friends mother is trustworthy. I just quizzed her about all the details of her tubing and told her she should never do this with more than one tube being pulled behind the boat. She didn't understand why so I read her your post - problem averted.

Tangentially BBQ related, when my daughter was in 1st grade, she went to a classmate's birthday party where the parents set up a pinata only 15 feet away from a still lit Webber Kettle BBQ. I walked in the backyard just in time to see the pinata get broken and 3 kids running straight for the BBQ. I yelled "Stop!" twice and the kids seemed to recognize something in my voice because every single one stopped dead in their tracks. It still bothers me that this happened, but your incident seems worse and more negligent. For crying out loud, it could have only taken a minute or two more of "face down" time in the water for your daughter to drown or have serious brain damage. I'm just sitting here shaking my head and hoping these "friends" parents don't seriously injure their own or someone else's kids in the future.

There now, Kev, you made my post worth writing! One adult who hadn't thought of it before now knows not to let this become a possibility behind her boat.

Thanks to you, too, mom2lilenj...I'm with you, of course. I'd tell a parent if a kid had any problem while in my care.

What a scare - I am glad your daughter is doing better.

Your daughter lost consciousness, she did not get a splinter. I am beyond confused about the actions of these "adults".

If this happened to my child I would call ALL of the "adults" who were at the accident and ask them why NO ONE called the EMTs. I would really want to know the answer to that question and what the heck they were thinking (or not thinking, as it seems it will turn out). Why didn't they call you, her parent (she is a minor)? And why they let her drive home - good gosh how stupid are people these days!

Who was driving the boat? One of the "adults"? I would ask your daughter if the adults had been drinking (which could explain why no one called the EMTs).

I would also not let my daughter visit the homes of any of the "adults" in attendance at the accident. I would have her friends at my house where I know a responsible adult would be in case there was an emergency.

This would also make me wonder about what other lapse in judgement they have. Obviously they do not have any idea of what constitutes a medical emergency.

What is important is what actions individuals take and don't take during an emergency. And these "adults" obviously can't be trusted to do the right thing.

It was a Christian youth event with people our kids have been involved with in different situations and for quite awhile, so I have no worries about alcohol being involved. We already made calls to those involved last night. DD was 'laughing and joking' as usual while there, so they thought she was 'fine.' I agree that loss of consciousness, no matter how someone acts after, is a cause for medical attention and parental notification....and I will let them know that again.

Oh dear- that is scary- thank Heavens your DD is OK.

I think you need to find out the chain of command in that situation- maybe each adult thought someone else was going to contact you. You could do it to ensure that in case of future accidents parents do get notified.

I am guessing that you signed some kind of waiver form before she went- and that there would have been a contact name and number? I think it would benefit all families if you follow up and make sure that there is some kind of protocol in place.

BTW, sort of related, but I think most Trampoline injuries occur when there are multiple, ie more than one person jumping on the trampoline at the same time!

No waiver, no signature. It was just an end-of-summer barbecue on the lake, not an organized trip or anything. Just a gathering at one of the leader's houses. Maybe I misnamed it as an 'event.'

omg... i'm so sorry for your daughter's accident. i hope she's feeling better. we live on the shore and there are many deaths and injuries each and every day. people just don't realize the importance of diligence and caution on or around the water. watch her and please let us know how she's doing!

I agree, loss of consciousness is an automatic call to mom or dad! And no driving home! Yikes!

I'm with you budge, I tell my 10 year old to be the responsible one. He knows it's OK to call home when something doesn't seem right even if another adult says it is OK. Relying on other parents doesn't always work out :/

I think that 9 or 10 year olds are better at noting questionable circumstances and calling home about them than 16-18 yr olds. ;-) My kids always had that rule, too.

I don't think she was in any frame of mind to decide to call home after the accident...and who thinks you'd have to tell people, "Please call me if my child does anything that knocks her unconscious." She's not sure the adult driving the boat was fully aware she'd gotten knocked out, since the other teens helped her into the boat and by the time he saw her she was awake. She said a friend did offer to drive her home, but just let her go when she told him she was OK to do it alone. Of course, friends now tell her she also tried to get into the boat alone, but she doesn't even remember, so they trusted her to tell them how she was when she was not a reliable judge.

She is up and around this afternoon, seeming fine, just suffering a (lesser) headache, a sore jaw, and she found a bruise inside her lower lip.

One thing I see as a big problem is that we were all taught to look for a serious head injury by looking at someone's pupils, which people did for her several times before she left the get-together last night. First of all, the pediatrician told me a few years ago that it'd take a lot for the pupils to have problems, and that it's usually a later sign. Vomiting, changes in behavior, or confusion are the earlier signs to watch for. Her pupils have been equal and reactive the whole time, but, clearly, she was still injured enough to warrant medical attention.

I'm so glad your daughter is ok after such a scary accident. I don't think the other adults present were necessarily negligent; I've found that few parents are as cautious as I am (I'm a born worrier) and I'm sure they genuinely believed she was ok. Nevertheless, it's still surprising that no one drove her home or called you to tell you what happened. I'm definitely going to show this post to my 15 yr old twins. It's sobering but necessary to be reminded occasionally how fragile we are.

Rhome, so glad your daughter is okay! What a scare. We went tubing for the first time a few weeks ago but our tube had seats for 3 and we pulled only one tube and pretty slowly at that. It scares me to think of a concussion out on the lake potentially far away from medical help!

We had to call an ambulance once after my friend's son (my son's best friend) was injured on a trampoline a few years ago. It was the typical multiple kids / no supervision situation.

After that we set a strict no trampolines policy. I was so proud a few months later when my then 7 year old called me from a birthday party where the host had a trampoline. He wanted to know if it was okay for him to jump on this special occasion. I asked him how many adults were outside watching? None. How many kids on the trampoline? A few.

I said, honey, you are the best and you did so well to call me. That isn't safe for you. And he said okay and hung up the phone.

People can be surprisingly thoughtless.

Anita

OH rhome... I'm scared for you just reading this and so very grateful that your beautiful daughter is fine. It's so hard to feel safe about your kids as they grow older and leave the nest. I remember with my boys; they said I always babied them. But... one time when my oldest was about 16 or 17 I remember he went to a party. I told him; if people were drinking or if he in anyway felt vulnerable; he could call me at any hour and I would come; no questions asked, no punishment. He called from a gas station at 1:00 a.m. and I just went and thanked him. I felt terrified every time they left house driving; I remember following sirens if I heard them soon after they drove away, I still worry about my 21 year old (my 24 year old is FINALLY acting more and more like a grown man), and I'd give up forever just to be able to go back and spend one day with them as little boys again. Thankfully, she's safe and sound. BIG HUG!

I agree that there was probably no negligence, but some unfortunate nonchalance and probable ignorance. I'm sure they'd be horrified to think they'd endangered her life...But I hope we all live and learn from this.

Remodelfla, my oldest dd left for work one morning...it was cloudy, but dry out and no frost...The phone range just a few minutes later and she was in tears. She'd hit black ice and flipped our pickup 3 times! My heart pounds, too, whenever I hear sirens or the phone rings right after my young drivers leave home. The teen years, especially the driving thing, is the toughest stage so far. There is so much you can't anticipate, plan for, and guard against.

Dd's headache worsened and she started vomiting this evening, so we had to go back to the ER for a CAT scan...Which, thankfully, was clear. She got some medication for the nausea and the pain, and she's a new girl.

Rhome -- how's your DD today? I hope she's still feeling perky. That is really scary -- could've been a tragedy. My cousin lost his 17-year-old son in a car crash just about a year ago...it was (and is still) so awful. I am a nervous nellie about safety (though I try not to be over-protective). You're right, there's a lot you can't guard against, and so many situations you can't anticipate. Ulp, those teen years are sneaking up fast.

Here's wishing a safe holiday weekend to everyone!

thanks for the concern. DD is still doing OK. The headache was back when she woke up this morning and the medication had worn off, but now we filled the prescription and she had a followup appt, so the plan is to keep her from being too active, treat the symptoms, watch her for any worsening symptoms, and wait for healing. Symptoms can come and go for weeks, but the dr expects she'll only need pain relief for about a week. If it goes past that, we'll have to do an MRI, but that's not likely, she didn't think. At least the nausea isn't a problem today, so that's a big plus.

rhome410, I can't believe these adults didn't inform you about what had happened immediately. Unconscious and fished from the water. Does it get more serious!

She's a very lucky girl. Hope the headaches dissipate soon and glad there's relief available until she's fully healed.

Haven't been checking the forum for a while, so I know this was a few days ago, but I'm so glad to hear that she seems okay. Have the headaches improved over the past couple days?

Thanks for asking about her. The headaches were a little better, but now a bit worse again, although not as bad as at first. She is running out of her prescription pain reliever and OTC stuff doesn't cut it yet. I had to call the dr on call, who doesn't know me or DD from Adam, so he wanted her re-evaluated in the ER. 3 times?! Another big fee so they can look at her pupils for proper and even contraction and simultaneous tracking, and test to make sure she has equal strength on both sides (things I can do at home)...then ask her if she has any vision problems (she doesn't), and ask me if she is coherent and behaving normally (she is). So we are just waiting this out and trying to stretch the medication as well as we can until she can see or talk to someone who knows her case...on Tuesday. This head injury thing is not a fun experience and one I wouldn't recommend! I can't believe people with sons in football deal with this as a semi-'normal' thing, sometimes more than once.

That's awful, I hope everything turns out ok soon.

rhome... how'd your girl fare today? Party go well?

Thank God my son's never suffered a head injury through all the years I spent on ball fields but we had a number of leg/ankle injuries. We were lucky because my oldest is a catcher and even now he plays in a men's league with balls coming at his head a 70 plus mph. Lower extremity didn't make me panic, head injury... I'd panic for sure. I've been thinking about her...

Rhome -

Thank goodness it wasn't worse! I'm sorry to hear about the entire event, which sounds like it's not entirely over yet. I'm so glad to hear you are being proactive with the doctors, too - we as parents know our children best!

Is she doing any better today? I think you mentioned you are a home schooler, so it won't interfere with the beginning of school, right?

Total agreement with you and everyone else that says those parents were way off base not calling you and letting her drive home alone. It would make me sick to my stomach to have any child hurt under my watch and I'd be too worried not to call the parent at the very least to ask if they would like me to bring her home, call the EMT's, etc. They may have thought she was o.k. because of all the activity and other kids in the boat, but they should have called you or at the very least had her call you.

I am also an overly cautious mother, but my DS has recognized parents that are not taking proper precautions. At 6 or 7 years old, he went to a friends house and his mother let them run all over their condo complex, through the parking lots, by the swimming pool and to the community center all by themselves when she realized she had forgotten some items at their unit for a party at the community center. He came home and asked to not go there again because it wasn't safe. Then, you get the fun task of avoiding play dates with the other parents..."well, your son is welcome here" instead.

Do you mind saying which lake it was? We are boaters too, and there are just places and times that are worse to be out there...we usually only go on weekdays or early mornings on the weekends because there are just too many other boats otherwise. A few years ago my DH's cousin was out celebrating the end of the school year on Lake Wa. with some other friends from a local Christian College - again no alcohol, and she was looking at something else and hit her friends boat at full speed. The other boat was pulling a skier, luckily only minor injuries, two totaled boats and a lot of shaken up kids. Accidents can happen so quickly and the water adds another dangerous ingredient! Thinking of your DD face down,...just gives me chills!

I really hope your DD is on the road to a full recovery and gets over the horrendous headaches! Please keep up the postings and let us know how it goes over the next weeks.

M

She is much better today, so I think yesterday was part of a two steps forward, one step back thing. She actually said this morning that she felt like she did last Tuesday...The day BEFORE the accident. Then she was on her feet a little too long and got kinda grouchy, but she's still OK on the pain level with a combo of half the prescription augmented with the proper levels of Tylenol and Ibuprofen. (Just so no one worries, I am sure the combo and amounts are OK) A friend came over to watch a movie with her and the distraction is good for everyone.

Mindimoo, it was Long Lake. According to one of her friends who's been trying to help her fill in the blanks of what happened, they were going pretty fast, 'because there were no other boats on the lake.' Another possible mistake to add to the list...unsafe speed.

Remodelfla, the party did go well for oldest dd yesterday. The injured dd had to retreat to her room for 99% of it, to avoid the noise and commotion, so my mind and worries were always partly up there with her and I did a lot of running back and forth.

She's not light sensitive is she?

Ever time we go out on the boat I am wary of other boaters. I much rather leisurely troll the intracoastal then "jam" it out on the ocean.

She was light sensitive the first night, but that seems fine now. (Can you imagine that she was light sensitive while driving home that night? One of my worst thoughtss about this is what could've happened if an oncoming car's headlights had caused her a problem. She could have easily veered off the road or into that car. There is much to be thankful for here.)

Mindimoo, I forgot to answer your question about school. We do homeschool, but this is her first year at trying an almost full schedule at the high school and she was already very nervous about it. She's not one of our kids who has an easy time with academics. She always learns better doing hands-on things at her own pace, and she doesn't deal with mental overload or pressure that well. Most of it is lack of self confidence and fear of failure. She is smart, but doesn't always know it. School starts day after tomorrow and I wish she didn't have this to deal with at the same time.

Rhome,

If this drags on, please ask the doctors to check her neck! In the area of "better safe than sorry" I am not trying to scare you, but it's very possible with a blow to the chin to compress the neck enough to cause injury.

After living with the effects of a neck injury for the last three and a half years, I can tell you that it can cause nearly blinding headaches and all those nerves are bundled in the neck area.

Also, ask them if they are going to xray, ct scan or mri her again, if there is any possibility of overexposure for her thyroid gland - especially at her young age. Again, better safe than sorry and we make our own best advocates, especially when it comes to our kids!

Oh, I so hope she gets off to a great start at school tomorrow! If only we could bestow the wisdom of adulthood on our kids and let them know how little the kids at school will have a real impact on their adult lives, we could save them a lot of angst!

Wish her all the best from your friends here at GW!

rhome - Still following along and wishing your daughter a speedy full recovery. One last thought - if, and only if, you know a good chiropractor, it might be worth a visit for her.

Mindimoo and Chefkev, thanks so much to both of you for your concern. I hadn't thought about her thyroid, Mindimoo...Good tip. As a matter of fact, DD saw our naturopath today, who also does 'osteopathic manipulation', which is much like a chiropractic adjustment. (I have neck problems, too, and know what a literal pain it can become.) He did find that her neck definitely needs adjustment, but didn't want to mess with it until she had another week of recovery. She is off pain meds completely today (not even a Tylenol since 5 AM) and feeling wonderful. She is practically skipping to feel so good and 'normal' again.

Yay! Hope she continues to feel back to her old self.

Good news! Hope she has a great day at her new school tomorrow!

Isn't it amazing how our entire world can be turned around by how our children are doing?! I'm so glad to hear shes' doing better!

Was your DD excited to go to school today? Hopefully, it distracted her from her recent experience...horrible, yes, but children are amazingly resilient (more so than us)!

I'm so glad she seems to be OK now, I wish I had read & responded earlier...but my prayers go out to you and your family for your DD's continued full recovery!

Thank you, thank you. I'm just thankful she's not starting school fighting extreme pain or looking through pain med affected eyes. Either would definitely add to the stress. She has a bit of a headache this morning, but says she's OK and is in good spirits.

Hey, rhome, so glad your daughter is doing better. But I just wanted to add to your warning because I heard a heart wrenching story on the news last night. A 10 year old girl was killed when the tube she was riding on with her younger brother hit a channel marker. Her father was pulling them on a jet ski. So sad, can you imagine how the father must have felt?! I'll post a link to the story. There was another story recently where two kids on a tube were knocked unconscious as well (http://www.wsoctv.com/news/16967380/detail.html). So scary. We live on Lake Norman and though we don't have a boat, my boys (12 and 10) frequently go tubing and knee boarding with their friends. I don't know if I should let them go anymore, especially if I'm not with them. I know their friends parents are responsible people but it just terrifies me to let them go! On the other hand, my 7 year old DD fell in the neighbor's very steep driveway while wearing Heely's (she only SUPPOSED to use them in OUR very FLAT driveway) and broke both the bones in her wrist last night. It seems we can't protect them all the time but this tubing thing scares the poop out of me!!!

Here is a link that might be useful: story about tubing death

I know...Where do you draw the line at keeping them from doing things that "might" cause them harm? It'd be tough to find anything that didn't qualify...But innertubing is out at my house...at least double tubing. The same dd was at the same lake, but at another person's house, earlier this summer. A friend was wakeboarding and hit a wave...The board flew up and sliced his head open just above his ear, requiring staples and lots of stitches. There was no extra speed or negligence in that case, just something that could happen anytime someone is wakeboarding, or even water skiing. Constant prayer is my only answer, because they just won't allow me to surround them in bubble wrap and set them on the couch! ;-)