Hi,

I'm also single and have been doing this remodeling thing alone. It's really hard and I've dragged most of my friends around to help me decide on some aspect of this project. But by far the best help has been this web site. Few of my friends understand about all the decisions that need to be made or the stress of trying to juggle a contractor, KD, or anyone else that may be required.

I know some of my friends and relatives thought I was spending way too much time on this project and thought I was obsessing too much. I'm sure I drove a lot of people nuts by asking their opinion on something or asking if they would take a look at some product.

The great thing about this web site is that I feel so understood (even if I don't post every problem). Most everyone has gone thru or is going thru the same thing and offers great advice. The pool of knowledge here is fantastic. What I've learned on this web site is incredible. Eventually if there was an issue, my contractor would suggest I spend some time on the internet and get back to him!

Even though sometimes it may be hard to make all these decisions alone, I think it is probably just as hard to try to get agreement from a DH, DW or SO. Also I have a friend that was building a house and her husband didn't care about anything as long as she didn't go over budget. She was really frustrated with his lack of interest. So I guess it could be worse.

How are you managing all this?

Karen

I have a cousin whose husband is involved. Very involved. He has an opinion on everything. She rarely changes anything in her house.

I grew up with a mother who would feed us breakfast, send us to school and we would return to a newly decorated bedroom. My father was in charge of outside, she inside. So that's the way I operated most comfortably.

My husband, thankfully, likes my taste and offers advice when asked but generally stays out of my way regarding decorating. He will mostly speak up regarding structural issues.

If I had to clear everything through someone else it would take a lot of fun out of projects. I guess I'm a married singleton regarding renovations/decorating.

Count your blessings, Blue! (Said by someone whose SO's standard reply to any remodeling proposal is prefaced with 'You don't really want to do that...')

I was a single Mom for a long time... raised my two boys on my own while teaching, tutoring, and running to ball games 6 days a week. I bought two houses during this time and remodel the kitchen on one. (unfortunately long before I found this forum). Now I live with my not officially DH. (convoluted reasoning there). We're planning on renovating his house to include small extension and complete interior remodel which will be mostly DIY. His input when I tell him how much to estimate something to cost is .. OMG... are you crazy? He is completely and totally clueless as to how much things cost. When I told him that an average kitchen remodel probably runs about 25K he nearly died and that's not even high end. He wants tile, I conceded provided we use large porcelain tile (less grout) with the epoxy grout I learned about on this forum. When I explained that the installation will have to be handled by a professional and what;s involved (thanks to the help from Bill V.) and it would probably cost about 15K for the house I thought he would blanch. I have a feeling that it's going to become a bone of contention between us and it's going to be a very long year. It takes him a week to just make a necessary phone call to get ahold of a professional. When I have to do something I do it immediately. The ironic thing is, he bit#@#@ about money and I'm the one paying for the renovation. He's otherwise a terrific guy, I don't mean to make it seem otherwise. It's just so difficult to go into this with someone who has no clue whatsoever. What makes it more difficult is he absolutely HATES to go shopping and I have to beg him to accompany me when I want to compare items. It'll hopefully come down to: me run around and shop, pick 3 choices, and then bring him in. That should be OK because ultimately I'll get what I want and he does want me to be happy since the his house (where we're moving) is alot smaller and in a much less desireable neighborhood then mine. I just hate it when I end up substantiating cost like my choices are so high end and I'm some kind of high maintance spoiled brat.
I didn't mean for this post to be so long... I guess I just needed to vent to people who would understand.

You are single too? So am I. Bought my house. Bought my car. Doing the remodel, all by myself. Doesn't mean other folks aren't interested, but I am doing it myself. Paying for it myself too. Ugh!

My Mom lives several hundred miles away. We talk about it on the phone and I have to email her pictures of everything. I love that she is living through this as well and is so interested. She did a major kitchen remodel almost three years ago. She can relate. Rest of the family? Not so interested.

I do try to drag DB (Dear Boyfriend) around with me or show him my choices, but he is NOT interested. Although he has had to redo part of his kitchen at the same time due to a leak in the pipes and mold problem. He has been without most of his kitchen since March. So, he can relate. However, he doesn't cook at all (where as I love too--is he spoiled or what?!) so he didn't have much in his kitchen to begin with. I won't even go into what it was before, the lack of cooking utensils, none of his coffee cups have handles (broke off long ago), etc. So, he at least has had a working oven, sink, microwave, etc., through most of the remodel. I have had none of those for about the last month.

It is tough being single. I work about 60 hours a week at a very stressful job. During this remodel, they (work) have decided to add to my duties/responsibilities at work and are moving me and my division again (I have been moved and have had changes in my duties and responsibilities three times since Feb 1st of last year. I have had to learn all the new aspects of my new job--not easy). We are experiencing cutbacks and budget crunches. Then I come home to a mess. Have to get everything done on line (research) or on my crowded weekends. Thank God, I have a wonderful contractor, so that is a big help. However, hence my name. I must be nuts to be doing this!

Thank you all for your wonderful support and knowledge. Without all of you, I wouldn't have learned about plug mold, air switches, etc., which I am putting in my kitchen. Contractor here also will be using plug mold for the first time. ACK! Then I wonder why I am stressed out....makes sense to me!

*waves* I'm in the ranks, too.

The very hardest thing for me about being single (or at least unmarried/un-shacked-up-together) and renovating has been the enormous number of times I have had to take time off work to deal with contractors. I work long hours and have a 45-minute commute, and it's extremely wearisome to juggle the time off here and there to let the plumber in, solve carpenters' issues, direct the cabinet guys etc etc. (As my mom says: I don't need a husband, I need a stay-at-home wife, har har.)

I love this project, but I'd prefer it not to lose me the job that's paying for it! ;-)~

Hey there Remodelfla--our boyfriends must come from the same mold. Are you sure they are not twins seperated at birth?

Yup, single and renovating. Never done anything like this before, with or without a partner, so it's a little scary. I find I take a *long* time to decide about anything - it would be nice to have someone looking at things with me - a sounding board, another pair of eyes, another *brain*. Someone to confirm my thoughts. I suppose that would work the best if that person shared my taste - I do like not having to compromise. :-)

Most of my friends aren't so interested in the nitty-gritty details. My mom's interested, but she lives in Florida (I'm in NYC), so she can't actually go with me anywhere. Thank g*d for all of you folks here on GW! I can obsess here to my heart's content, and find people who are even more bogged down in details than I am!!! LOL

Thank you, everyone!

*Raises hand* I've been rebuilding this house inside and out for the past 7 (gasp!) years. The first 4.5 were with my live-in boyfriend. (We found and bought the house together, but only my name has ever been on the property. Fortunately, I couldn't get a loan when I added his name while they would let me carry 3 mortgages with just my name. LOL.)

When you're all DIY like me, it takes a lot longer when you're on your own. But overall, it's a LOT easier when you have no one to answer to. The end results are a LOT better when there's no compromising to worry about. And I'm not talking about simple things like what paint color to use. My house has a much better flow and feel now that I've been able to make structural changes without being overruled.

If only I would have stood my ground on the master bath tile all those years ago. grrrr. Not that I'm bitter or anything. ;-) hee-hee

I'm single and did it myself and couldn't be more pleased. Though one grown daughter was briefly living with me at the time of the remodel, and she did have some good advice, for the most part, it was just me.

I could never have done this with XH, I probably would have murdered him before it was over (and a jury of wives remodeling their kitchens with help from husbands would have found me "not guilty" I'm sure). We would have battled from beginning to end and I probably would have ended up with a kitchen I didn't want or like.

I'd never done anything like this before, and neither had any family or friends. The most important lesson I learned was to trust my judgement. If something felt wrong, it probably was. I found that the items I returned to again and again after looking for months were the ones I liked the best - cabinet style, colors, etc., and I picked them. And while I listened to other opinions, I felt comfortable making my own choices.

I knew these were not cosmic decisions, and that the many things I had to choose between all good ones, so I knew no matter what, I'd end up with a kitchen that worked for me.

I got lots of good advice from my KD, because she was the only person who had done this before, and I took much of it, but felt comfortable rejecting ideas that just didn't fit me.

It was fun and I will certainly do it again in my next home. I'm quite pleased with my "new" kitchen, even after 4 years.

Good luck.

When I was married, my husband wanted to make all the decorating and remodeling decisions, and I resented it. Now as I wander around tile stores, appliance stores, Home Depot, etc., all I want is someone else to make the decisions for me!

Anyway is it hard, but I have good friends and family to help...but you "guys" on the Garden Web are the best! In fact, my real life friends often hear me say "..., my friends on the Garden Web think that..."

Single in the remodelling jungle...yep that's me. Don't really ask for anybody's opinion...unless it is from this forum...:-). Would not have it any other way! I have remodelled most of my home...bathrooms, kitchen, windows, siding, part of the roof etc. etc. I used a GC before but am knowing managing the project myself. I use 2-3 pros for the job. It has taken much longer than necessary but since it is just me...I do not mind....:-)

I'm married BUT DH is only here 7 days a month and during the remodel, he is staying in our place in Los Angeles and not coming up at all...so..I'm basically on my own and it makes it a whole lot easier. He doesn't really want to be involved...although he did go to 742,000 granite yards with me this past year!

For those of you who are working and/or raising families on your own and remodeling...I so admire you....I "only" am responsible for two very spoiled (fabulous) cats and I find remodeling to be terribly stressful. I don't know how you do it.

mustbnuts... Twin Sons of Different Mothers? I think there's an old (like me!) rock song like that!

see blue... you hit a nerve here and are most definitely not alone!
Elyse

I am totally in awe of those of you who are single, totally self-supporting, and handling renovations on your own. My sister is all of the above. I don't know how you do it. You should all be terribly proud of yourselves, I am NOT kidding! Frankly, I know I could not afford it or handle it on my own. Heck, I am freaking out as it is!

I am so happy to be single and doing the reno! I don't have to check with ANYONE on my decisions. I have read so many threads on this forum with women saying, "DH doesn't like X", or "DH thought X was too expensive", or conversely, "DH wants to spend way too much on X", or worst, "DH won't let me..." Well, MY decisions are my own, and what I spend on and what I scrimp on is MY choice. I've already re-done my bathroom, and every time I go in there, I am pleased with my accomplishment. I did it! ME!

The only downside is what Circuspeanut mentioned, that I can't share the contractor overseeing duties with anyone. Most days I let the guys in at 7:30 AM, and then leave for work. On certain crucial installation days, I am opting to take vacation days from work - heck, I can't afford a vacation now anyway!

I am single also and love doing it, but it is hard because I also work full-time. I am having my garage completely rebuilt from scratch, taking down interior walls, adding a bathroom and laundry room. Gutting the kitchen and starting over.

I have been allowed to work from home, but I recently got talked to by my boss about working from home. Even though I am not behind in any of my work, he doesn't want me doing it as much as I have been. He said the perception is bad. He wants me to take vacation days, when I have to meet with the contractor. This is just not reasonable on a four month project. When the project is over, I won't have any vacation left.

So being single has been hard on that part of the project, however being able to get what I want has been nice.

Karin

Oh yeah. Just me. Most recent relationship failed eons ago (12 years ? wow.) Well, there's the dog, but he doesn't bring in much cash OR help much with design decisions (except to prevent me from ever having a carpeted surface in the house due to his SHEDDING).

Ya know, I shoulda gone with my gut on hiring decisions (or rather, the dog's gut) ... doggie was not especially fond of the contractor. Not scary or anything, but definitely disinterested in him (very unusual for my super-friendly pup). Shoulda taken it as a sign ... contractor is still in jail.

Just like everyone else says, it has been expensive, time-consuming, frustrating, and hard to make decisions alone. Most of my friends rent, so remodeling is not something they've done or understand. And they are getting sick of me moaning about it :-)

I *do* enjoy the absolute autonomy though ;-)

Count me in the singleton club. I haven't started the kitchen yet, but so far have had my garage demolished and rebuilt, added a mudroom on the kitchen and turned a powder room into a full bath by using a closet it that was near it. Making decisions for "me" was great. My parents didn't mind listening to my talk about the remodel as they said--I was finally talking about something other than work!