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mtnrdredux_gw

What to do if you receive decor item you don't care fo

mtnrdredux_gw
11 years ago

So let's say someone brings you a present for your home, and it's not your taste.

Do you

1) put it in the fireplace, like a poster below (but ohh the toxic fumes)

2) use it and try to like it

3) don't torture yourself, give it away to goodwill right away

4) store it and put it out when they visit

Does it depend on who gave it to you? Its value?

Comments (44)

  • lolauren
    11 years ago

    Hmm.

    Generally, #4... but that is a little stressful to remember. :)

    It does depend on who gave it to me. Grandma-in-law gives me gifts she would like, but they aren't my taste. I don't have the heart to burn them! So, they are stored...

    If it was someone who would never be at my house, it might be #1 or #3 :)

  • tripletmom83
    11 years ago

    This is an age old dilemma. I think a lot depends on who gave it to you. If it is someone close, like Mom or MIL, I'd put it out for awhile, at least when they visited. But not necessarily in the room or the place they intended. I remember once my MIL brought me two decorative pillows for my living room. One was blue the other brown. And at that time those were the colors of my living room couch. But my couch was a large bold floral print in a traditional style, and those pillows were country, patchwork quilted, with ruffles all around. I had just spent a lot of money to get that room just the way I wanted, so the pillows went to the Family room, where while it wasn't exactly a country look, at least they didn't clash with our beige and brown textured sofa. Another time my BIL gave my husband a large wall clock with his favorite football team's logo. It was hideous! We put it up in our son's bedroom for awhile, and later it ended up over my DH's workbench in the basement. There have been many other things though, mostly gifts bought at craft fairs I think, and mostly from the same relative that just are not my taste, so I give them away, or donate them. They do not visit often and they have never asked where that doodad is that they gave me. So if they've noticed, they haven't said anything.
    I think when people give a gift of home decor that is the chance they take. That's why people register for their weddings now. Go over to the organization forum to see the burden unwanted gifts have become to some of us.

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  • Fun2BHere
    11 years ago

    I would return it to the store if possible, give to a friend if I know someone who would love it and want it, donate it or sell it if the first two options aren't possible. I don't keep things I don't like no matter who gives them to me or the gift's value.

  • daisyinga
    11 years ago

    If it's from one of my kids, I keep it and proudly display it. My kids don't buy me home decor items now, but they did make things and purchase Dollar Tree things for me when they were younger. I wore the macaroni necklaces and displayed the clay jars and dried playdoh sculptures prominently. And some of the cheap Dollar Tree figurines are still prominent in my home even today.

    If it's from anybody else, it's out the door on the next Goodwill run.

  • maddielee
    11 years ago

    it would probably go to our "guest" room for a short stay before going to Salvation Army.

    My husband was awarded a big (and ugly) award this summer. I am proud of him. The award stayed a few weeks on the family room mantle. Enough time that many friends and family members saw it. When he was out of town a few weeks ago, the award was placed on a table in the hall. It took him 6 days to notice that I had moved it. It is slowly making its way back to his office. Hopefully before Thanksgiving.

    ML

  • work_in_progress_08
    11 years ago

    My MIL has great taste and over the years has gifted me some very nice things along with a strong suggestion of where said items should be displayed. Long ago, I felt the need to honor her suggestion, but have since gotten over that, lol. However, when she stays at the house to petsit, those items find themselves to her originally suggested location.

    Cookie-cutter tchtochke(sp?)-type gifts, or if the decor item is really off the mark, it ends up at the local Goodwill.

    Yes, I do take into consideration the relationship of the gifter, but if the gift is something I really have no use or place for, donating seems to be the way to go for me personally.

    Lastly, if the decor item was a costly purchase for the gifter, and I can fit on a shelf on the bookcases, or some other spot in my office, it lives there.

  • luckygal
    11 years ago

    I've done 2 and 3, never done 1 or 4. Definitely depends on the giver, I still have things my kids gave me tucked away altho I'm certain they wouldn't even remember now.

    There are gifts I've given away that I wish I had kept - vintage things I didn't appreciate 40 years ago I wouldn't mind having now. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!

  • suzanne_sl
    11 years ago

    LOL! We've been dealing with Mom's estate since she passed away, and there are so many things she kept - ash trays we made of clay in kindergarten, her valentines from around 1926, mailings from church. Among her things is a wedding present to us, an oval box with disembodied hands draped across the top, that I never cared for. I still don't care for it, but she liked it. If it's not something you care for and not from someone special to you, pass it on to someone who'll like it.

    P.S. I'm pretty sure kindergarteners no longer make lovely clay ashtrays for their parents, but it was evidently a standard item back then because Mom saved one from each of us.

  • sas95
    11 years ago

    If it was not given to me by an immediate family member or loved one, I give it away to someone who likes it.

  • jmck_nc
    11 years ago

    Our dear friends were gifted the most horrible, kitchy resin plaque for a housewarming gift. We laughed together over it after the giver was long gone back out of state. A few days later it showed up prominently displayed on our home. We moved it back and forth several times and enjoyed the anticipation of the new recipient finding it. It really was a great gift...not just for it's original purpose. Not sure what eventually happened to it...maybe it is still hanging somewhere on one of our former homes. We have both since moved. Fun memory.
    Usually these things are donated unless it is necessary to display to keep peace in the family.
    Judy

  • deegw
    11 years ago

    My very sweet cleaning lady gave me one of these a few years ago. It was in day glo colors. Sigh. I kept it on a table in my upstairs hall for a year and then moved it (in to the trash).

  • palimpsest
    11 years ago

    It depends upon who gave the gift.

    I have some things that aren't my favorite but given by family and they are put in places of less prominence and may be rotated into storage every once in a while.

    I never regift something I don't like unless I know the person will like it, and I never pass it off as new. I had some glasses that I did not like much but used occasionally and one of my guests really liked them so at the end of the night I packed them up and gave them all to her.

    But I also don't have family or friends who give random host gifts or holiday gifts. Host-type things tend to be food or wine, and holiday gifts are exchanged only with family and a few close friends and we really know what we all like. I've told people "If you really have no idea what to get me, don't give me anything at all."

    A friend of mine who was caught in a vicious cycle of gift giving with friends at one point complained to me "How many sets of 2 or 4 glasses or wine coasters or 4 place mats can one house use? This has got to stop."

    I have a friend who was bit by a baby squirrel that ran out of her furnace and up her leg, and every once in a while I give her a squirrel if I find and interesting one. Weird stuff like that.

  • teacats
    11 years ago

    ..... cue the creepy spooky music ......

    ....sometimes, somewhere, somehow ....

    ....BAD things simply happen to CERTAIN gifts .....

    heeheeheeheehee .........(evil grin)

    ......AND SOMETIMES THEY JUST DISAPPEAR ......

  • maire_cate
    11 years ago

    We built a beautiful vacation home in the mountains and my DH's philosophy has always been that when he vacations he wants to be as comfortable as he is at home so this place isn't lacking for any creature comforts.

    We did receive one housewarming gift that fits your description - a 22" saw with a log cabin painted on the blade. Luckily the person who gave this to DH won't be dropping in since it's about 150 miles away. My DH hung it in the basement storage area.

    Here is a link that might be useful: saw blade paintings

  • runninginplace
    11 years ago

    I'm a lot more ruthless than all of you nice people. If it isn't suitable and I don't like it, it's out. Goodwill mostly so that someone in the universe who wants it will get lucky :).

    The way I look at it, clutter that I bring on myself deserves some attention. Clutter that is thrust upon me (no matter the intent or the giver) not so much. Wait, strike that: not at all. It isn't my responsibility, it isn't worth my time and worry and it certainly isn't worth impacting the home I spend much time, effort and money creating to be a warm and comforting refuge.

    Then again I also live with a spouse who feels that it IS his cosmic duty to rescue objects that other people are treating as I do my unwanteds...he brings home so much stuff and for no other reason than 'but it's perfectly usable'. Yes but *I* can't use those ancient dime store document picture frames that somebody threw out. Or the old dirty footstool. Or any number of things that appear around my yard. There is also my MIL the depression baby who will never throw anything away. She will bring it to my house instead. I finally stopped that by Just Saying No.

    Hmmm, touchy subject for runninginplace???? Maybe a bit LOL.

    Ann

  • kellyeng
    11 years ago

    If I don't like it, no matter who gave it to me, it's not staying in my home. After all, it is my home, my sanctuary, the place where I can just be me. So, I accept the gift with gratitude then it goes into the closest until I can give it away.

    As far as children's gifts go, my Mom has recently decided to unload them on Ebay! My sister found my Mom's Ebay listings and lo and behold, all those ceramic figurines we made for her in ceramics class are on there. I thought it was funny but sister was pretty upset until she realized that if Mom didn't get rid of them now, we would end of having to deal with them later. Thanks Mom!

  • Oakley
    11 years ago

    I want to know what the gift is! lol.

    If it's from a family member or close friend, you need to keep it. Your house is large enough to tuck it away in a corner somewhere.

    For whatever reason the person went out of their way to buy you a gift. If you never see them, hide it for now then ditch it later. :)

  • hhireno
    11 years ago

    My MIL and SIL both give me many things I don't want; every occasion there are many inexpensive, not my taste items gifted to me. I used to stick the stuff in a closet for a few years and then give it away. After my husband pointed out that they probably don't even remember what they give us, and are too polite to ask about it, I now put it right in the Goodwill box I keep in the laundry room, waiting for the next time the truck is in my neighborhood.

    Once they visited my HHI place. That Xmas I received all sorts of things with a beach theme or stuff that was specifically marked HHI. Was I suppose to use the stuff at my regular home and think about my HHI place, or fill my HHI place with beach themed, location stuff? The generic beach theme stuff went to the local Goodwill but who at my regular home location Goodwill wants HHI stuff? The HHI junk went in a box to be donated to my HHI Goodwill next time I drove down.

    The one item I remember was a suction cup dial doo-dad that indicates whether the dishes in the dishwasher are clean or dirty. It had the HHI lighthouse on it and said HHI. I was really at a loss about that one. If the dishes in the dw are clean, I unload it. Why would I need a dial to indicate clean or dirty? Open the door, are there dishes? They're dirty. Neither of them is the type to let chores wait so I don't think they have dishwashers full of clean dishes just waiting to be put away and need a method to determine the dirt status of said dishes.

    I guess I've been lucky enough that I haven't received anything awful that was valuable so I've never had to confront how to dispose of or display something like that.

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    Original Author
    11 years ago

    Dear all,

    Thanks for your comments. I always feel bad when someone gives me something I don't care for, especially if it is something they expect to find in my home. You would think that if they were close enough to give me a personal gift (eg not food or flowers), they would know how particular I am about decor. Alas.

    People's posts here have made me feel better about Goodwilling it right away, instead of keeping it through some sort of mourning period before it goes.

    Oakley,
    Nothing in particular spurred this question. It was the post where someone tossed a gift into the fpl that made me think.

    I don't have as much trouble with gifts that are way off the mark. But when people give me gifts that are truly thoughtful, and I can tell they were trying ... those I think I will continue to keep, but I may put them in the basement. If I remember to put them out, fine, if not, well I know I tried.

    Examples: A pottery barn lantern that has fake candles that you "light" with batteries. This one was quite close, I had just bought a very similar thing. But the one I bought did not have fake candles. I really don't want fake candles.

    Someone brought me two vase like things. They looked sort of like old, mossy concrete with a peeling finish. I would love old, mossy concrete with a peeling finsh. But these were resin. Close, but not it.

    Gosh I feel guilty even writing this!!

  • Tmnca
    11 years ago

    Well the worst one ever was not only decor I did not like it was a painted portrait if my husband and I done by someone we barely knew! It was unintentionally unflattering, and it was an extremely awkward gift. We ended up throwing it away when we moved after storing it for a while... But I felt very bad because it was obviously a lot of effort.

  • MarinaGal
    11 years ago

    I truly appreciate anyone who is kind enough to give us a gift. However, I am picky about my home decor and most people know it (even though I try to not to let on how insane I am!). As a result, I think a lot of people probably try to skip the decor gifts and bring wine or booze instead. Always a hit with us! We get some truly lovely and thoughtful gifts and I do my best to incorporate them into our living spaces somehow. Like others, I have been known to "display" items in our lower level (aka basement) and our garage. Side note: when my MIL, bless her heart, decided to unload, I mean gift us, my husband's gazillion soccer trophies, I decided to display them in our garage for my husband to see every time he drives home and/or complains about yard work. I think they both got the message. But I digress. When a gift is truly unusable for one reason or another, I keep it around and display when needed, or, if the gift came from someone we see rarely I will donate it to Goodwill, or a school yard sale or silent auction.

  • bronwynsmom
    11 years ago

    Oh, tinan, I resonate. I once admired a painting of a clown hanging in the painter's house. He took it off the wall, took it to his studio, inscribed it to us with love, and gave it to us on the spot. We no longer live on the same coast, but we still have it in storage.

    That should teach me to keep my big mouth shut.

    The ash trays I inflicted on my mother were aluminum circles hammered like mad into concaveness on a mold.

    All these stories put me in mind of a lovely Billy Collins poem, which I will now inflict on you in its entirety:

    The Lanyard

    The other day I was ricocheting slowly
    off the blue walls of this room,
    moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,
    from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
    when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
    where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

    No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
    could send one into the past more suddenly -
    a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
    by a deep Adirondack lake
    learning how to braid long thin plastic strips
    into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

    I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
    or wear one, if that's what you did with them,
    but that did not keep me from crossing
    strand over strand again and again
    until I had made a boxy
    red and white lanyard for my mother.

    She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
    and I gave her a lanyard.
    She nursed me in many a sick room,
    lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,
    laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,
    and then led me out into the airy light

    and taught me to walk and swim,
    and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
    Here are thousands of meals, she said,
    and here is clothing and a good education.
    And here is your lanyard, I replied,
    which I made with a little help from a counselor.

    Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
    strong legs, bones and teeth,
    and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
    and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
    And here, I wish to say to her now,
    is a smaller gift -not the worn truth

    that you can never repay your mother,
    but the rueful admission that when she took
    the two-tone lanyard from my hand,
    I was as sure as a boy could be
    that this useless, worthless thing I wove
    out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

  • artydecor
    11 years ago

    This is a great thread for this time of year, because it serves to remind me to never, ever give decor items as gifts.
    When I got married, a friend gifted us with a wedding ring quilt. I thought it was a lovely gesture, but the colors of the quilt clashed with the other things in our bedroom, and the color combination was my least favorite of all time. I thanked her and put it in a closet, thinking I would someday find a place for it. After that, every time she came over she would check the bedroom for her quilt, ask why I didn't have her quilt on the bed, and make sarcastic comments about my "inferior" choices. Her harping on it soured the friendship, and it ended. Several years later I had a yard sale and took great pleasure in putting the quilt out for $5.00, thus exorcising both the gift and the control freak "friend".

  • cyn427 (z. 7, N. VA)
    11 years ago

    Bronwynsmom, that is one of my favorite poems, both because of the lanyard I remember making for my mother and because of the one my son made for me (which, as every mother knows, does make us even).

  • bronwynsmom
    11 years ago

    Yes, cyn, it does, doesn't it?

    I treasure a cigar box painted a hideous shade of green, with a summer's worth of seashells carefully glued to the top in no apparent pattern, and a stable for the Christmas creche (which was assembled over the years, one or two figures at a time) made of balsa wood, popsicle sticks, and model airplane enamel. We still use it every year, to the eternal horror of its now adult architect.

  • Fun2BHere
    11 years ago

    Um, Mtnrdredux, I actually prefer battery-operated candles. Could you send that PB lantern to my house, please? :-)

  • neetsiepie
    11 years ago

    A cautionary tale perhaps?

    I used to make decorative garden decor out of plates, cups, etc, and I sold them at crafts fairs. One day a woman was carefully examining a colorful piece and I went into great detail about how I rescue and reuse pieces I find at thrift stores and flea markets to create something fun and functional for the garden...blahblahblah.

    She frowned and said "I made that dish for my sister and gave it to her for Christmas last year" and then she stormed off. I almost called out to her that I'd give her a discount if she wanted to buy it to give to her sister this year.

  • Tmnca
    11 years ago

    Fun2bhere me too! Actually I used to hate them but now with the realistic looking ones with wax coating and wicks, the led ones look real when not lit. Lit they don't quite look real but no worries about fire. Anyone with pets and/or kids can appreciate that!

    In my area there have been several tragic fires traced to candles.

    In fact I am looking for battery candles for my own candle chandelier.

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    Original Author
    11 years ago

    Fun, where r u?

  • gsciencechick
    11 years ago

    Pesky, that is awesome, LOL!

    A lot of the things we got for our wedding NOT on our registry were really quite nice like a hand-crocheted wedding ring throw, a platter from Italy, and some beautiful crystal barware.

    I love MIL, but she buys us too much stuff for Christmas. She knows I love vintage stuff, but last year it was too much. We got a cool "beehive" lamp but some other vintage lamps and vintage Raggedy Ann & Andy dolls were not really our style and more stuff I have to dust. Raggedy Ann & Andy are on display in the guest room, and the lamps are in a box in the closet. Since all this stuff comes from ebay, it's really not returnable.

    Sometimes things I don't like "meet with an unfortunate fate." Or they end up at Goodwill.

  • Fun2BHere
    11 years ago

    Southern California

  • polly929
    11 years ago

    Did anyone ever see the King of Queens episode where Duncan and his wife gave Carrie and Doug the painted portrait of them with Carrie having a giant man hand? It was in retaliation for some ugly chatchke that Doug and Carrie gave them. Tinan your story reminds me of that episode, I laughed so hard watching that the first time I cried tears.

    Pesky....that is FANTASTIC!!

    PS- I have a purple and pink lanyard made by DD2 attached to my keychain. She's 6 and so proud that I found a use for her creation. The little lanyard on my keychain is so worth the beaming smile of pride she gives me when she sees it on my keychain.

    I mentioned in another thread my Mom gave me a sign with a chicken on it that says, "Don't ruffle my feathers." I proudly hung that in my pantry, where only I could see it ;) I have "freecycled" many gifts from my dear Mom. She is a tchatchke queen, I am a minimalist.

  • melsouth
    11 years ago

    Let me clarify:
    Ordinarily, we do not dispose of unwanted gifts in the fireplace.
    But that gift, from that relative-whom I tolerate and my husband avoids-was spontaneously thrown into the fire by my husband.
    I sat there with my mouth hanging open for a while, and then we both cracked up.

    If i think it's a really nice thing but just not my color or taste, and I can't re-gift it, I just add it to my constant collection of stuff to donate to Goodwill.
    BUT, and this is probably silly, I get my kids to take it to the Goodwill in their college town.
    I don't know how it works-if the donations I give in my town even STAY in my town-but I've convinced myself that things donated in a town so far away from me could never show up back here in my own hometown Goodwill!
    I REALLY don't want to hurt anyone's feelings!

    A side note:
    I think Goodwill is great--it gives people employment when they otherwise might not have the opportunity, the stuff I don't want doesn't go straight to the landfill, and it's a great place to treasure hunt.

  • tuesday_2008
    11 years ago

    Mtn are there any charities, civic groups, PTA organizations that have fund-raiser auctions in your community? The type of donations are usually welcomed for auctions. I live in a very low socio-economic area where the schools always need money and the PTA groups have fall and spring carnivals for fund-raisers with silent or live auctions and love these type of donations.

    I was just cleaning my wood floors in my bedroom where I have a carved bassett hound who stands about 12 inches tall. I "won" him at a PTA auction about 30 years ago. I was on the committee recruiting auction items and a small local gift shop donated him. They probbly thought he would never sell :) Naturally, I had to buy him - I think I gave $25 for him.

    He is currently residing in a corner beside a side chair, but has served as a door stop among other things in the past. He is so ugly he is cute!

  • Annie Deighnaugh
    11 years ago

    We got some crazy home made art thing made out of a gear and some nails as a wedding present. I graciously thanked them and said it would look perfect next to our family room, and dutifully hung it there. Our family room was in the basement and next to it was DH's workshop.

  • maire_cate
    11 years ago

    My lanyard kept unraveling - but I was quite adept at weaving newspapers into Sit-Upons when I was a girl scout.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Sit Upons

  • maddielee
    11 years ago

    For our wedding, almost 42 years ago, we received a wall hanging. Matadors on black velvet....

    I was SURE it was a gag gift, until we went to the home of the person who gave it to us. They had one very similar over their fireplace.

    There are a few gifts that I still remember who gave them to us. I will never forget who gave us that velvet wall hanging.

    I had that wall hanging rolled up and stored somewhere for years. don't know what ever happened to it.

    ML.

  • islanddevil
    11 years ago

    This thread is hysterical and so timely now that the holidays will soon be upon us. Fortunately I haven't received too many hideous gifts...at least not from friends or relatives who live near me. My aunt across country will never know I never used the afghan she made me for my wedding 25 years ago. However I'm too sentimental to give it away because I know how much work went into it so it sits in a box in the back of my linen closet. My husband can't understand why I keep it and once jokingly said "Some day we'll be old enough for it" Ouch.

    Really depends on what it is, some things end up like the afghan, others go to an out of the way shelf or cabinet for a short time. Some will get returned especially if they came with a gift receipt. If it's from someone like my sister we're OK with saying hate it take it back. And I'm OK with straight to the Goodwill.
    Never burned or displayed any gift when the giver came to visit.

    Every year a few girlfriends and I take turns hosting a holiday lunch. We do a small secret Santa gift exchange and the last few years we added a "pink elephant" gag gift exchange. A strange, funny or hideous item that can be new, old regifted, you name it. Usually wrapped beautifully on the outside and a horror on the inside. You get the change to steal before opening and after and it's become a hightlight of our gathering. Usually I choose by the wrap and walk away with a beautiful gift bag or box I'll definitly use again, but sometime it's true that one person's trash is another's treasure because I can't believe some of the crap the girls have coveted!

  • islanddevil
    11 years ago

    Oh forgot, to the poster who mentioned the batter operated candles. I LOVE those. They were my saving grace a when we had a big black out on the west coast that started late in the afternoon while I was at work and went thru the night. Husband was out of town and we were completely unprepared at home. Had batteries and flashlights and none that fit each other. Was sitting in my car for light and to listen to the news. Then remembered I bought fake candles at Costco for inside my fireplace and had 2nd thoughts about them as something I didn't "need" and planned to return them. Dug them out of the closet and they were exactly what I did need! Pulled a few together and it was enough light to read by and no worries that I would burn down the house. From the outside they look like real wax pilar candles and they have a timer you can set to turn them off automatically and some have remote controls. I see a lot of tea light size ones in the candle holders on tables in restaurants.

  • outsideplaying_gw
    11 years ago

    Oh, yes, this thread brings back some memories. I have, unfortunately, kept some home decor gifts that should have been tossed or returned but were eventually donated. My ex-MIL was a crafter, so I received an untold number of pieces of pottery, crocheted items, etc that I felt obligated to display at least for a while. Fortunately some of these were seasonal.

    Oh, and I can't help but think about the leg lamp in 'A Christmas Story'. Not a gift but it met it's just demise in a wicked way.

  • mclarke
    11 years ago

    Mtnrdredux, doesn't your little stone house have a stone floor?

    Take your new gift down there to see if it will"go"... and then -- whoops!

  • eandhl
    11 years ago

    Above "Woops" comment made me laugh. I have been known to sit with hammer and break things so I can throw them away. Seems so wasteful and unappreciated to throw away perfectly good items so I break them. After 30 years in previous house when I started cleaning out I donated and gave away tons of stuff but got overwhelmed and just stared breaking things so I felt better throwing them away.

  • juliekcmo
    11 years ago

    Well there is some cosmic joy in destruction of the ugly

  • oceanna
    11 years ago

    Well, if I ever get a Keane picture, I'll send it to Pal! LOL

    I love this topic. It reminds me of the painting from my ex's Aunt Herta that we received as a wedding present. We both hated it. It 'lived' in our front hall closet for years, in fear that darling Aunt Herta would jump on a plane and come visit, in which case she would find her artwork prominently displayed, bless her heart. When DH and I divorced I admit I took some satisfaction in waving it at him exclaiming, "Don't forget this!"