HI EVERYBODY.
I AM NEW HERE AND NEW TO THE WHOLE FORUM THING. I AM NOT USUALLY THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT AIRS MY BUSINESS BUT I HAVE A SITUATION THAT I AM NOT SURE HOW AND WHERE TO DIRECT MY STRESS. I HAVE BEEN READING THIS FORUM NOW FOR A COUPLE WEEKS AND IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ALL OFFER SOME GREAT ADVICE. I REALLY DIDNT WANT TO TELL YOU HOW OLD I AM BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO HEAR THAT I AM TOO YOUNG FOR THIS BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I AM VERY MATURE AND HAVE TAKEN THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF AN ADULT SINCE I WAS VERY YOUNG. I AM NOT THE TYPICAL 22 YEAR OLD. YES 22. MY BOYFRIEND IN 8 YEARS OLDER THAN MYSELF. I HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR 1 YEAR AND 8 MONTHS. HE HAS A 6 YEAR OLD SON. HE IS AN EXCELLENT FATHER AND COMPANION. I AM VERY ATTACHED TO HIS SON. I DO NOT HAVE ANY CHILDREN. NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS DID I SEE HOW DIFFICULT THINGS COULD AND WOULD BE AT TIMES. I AM HOPING THAT THE WORST IS BEHIND ME NOW BUT I AM NOT SURE.OKAY NOW THE DRAMA BEGINS... I STARTING DATING MY BOYFRIEND A FEW MONTHS AFTER HE HAD SEPERATED FROM HIS WIFE AND THINGS WERE REAL HECTIC. WE DATED FOR ABOUT 3 WEEKS THEN HE DECIDES HE CANT DEAL WITH BEING WITHOUT HIS SON EVERYDAY.( HIS PARENTS WENT THROUGH A TERRIBLE DIVORCE AND HE DOES NOT HAVE MANY MEMORIES OF HIS FATHER DUE TO THAT)HE WENT BACK TO HER. STAYED FOR ABOUT A WEEK AND CALLED ME AND TOLD ME THAT HE MADE A MISTAKE. SAID HE CANT LIVE WITH HER JUST FOR THERE SON THAT IT WAS NOT FAIR TO EITHER OF THEM. BM BEGGED HIM TO STAY. THEY HAD FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND TO BE A TERRIBLE REALATIONSHIP . THEY SPLIT UP ABOUT EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS MOVED OUT COMPLETLY ON A REGULAR BASIS AND WERE ONLY TOGETHER FOR ONE OF HIS SONS BIRTHDAYS IN 4 YEARS. THEY DID NOT FIGHT WITH HIS SON PRESENT BUT SPLITTING UP ALL THE TIME SEEMS DAMAGING TO ME. I KNEW THAT HE WAS NOT YET DIVORCED WHEN WE MET. I KNEW THAT THINGS WERE ROCKY, HE MADE IT ALL VERY CLEAR TO ME BEFOR WE WERE INVOLVED. I CONSIDER US TO HAVE A VERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP AND VERY OPEN TO DISCUSSION BUT THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION I SEEM TO HAVE A HARD TIME TALKING TO HIM ABOUT. HIS WIFE GAVE HIM A HARD TIME FOR A WHILE THAT THINGS WOULD CHANGE AND THEY COULD MAKE THINGS WORK FOR THE SAKE OF THERE SON. MY BOYFRIEND WAS CONVINCED THAT IN 6 YEARS OF MARRIAGE IT NEVER DID SO WHY WOULD IT CHANGE NOW. SHE TRIED NOT ALLOWING HIM TO SEE HIS SON BUT MY BF DID NOT STAND FOR THAT. SOON AS HE MOVED OUT HE BEGAN PAYING HER CHILD SUPPORT THAT WAS NOT COURT ORDERED. HE STARTING PAYING HER 600 DOLLARS A MONTH. MY BF IS VERY STRAIGHT LACED AND WOULD DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING FOR THE WELL BEING OF HIS SON. I WITNESSED SEVERAL MONTHS OF FIGHTING OVER THE PHONE. THEY DID NOT GET ALONG AND SHE WOULD TRY TO DO MEAN THINGS TO MY BF LIKE NOT ANSWERING THE PHONE WHEN HE WOULD CALL TO TALK TO HIS SON OR GIVING HIM THE RUNAROUND ABOUT PICKING HIM UP. ABOUT 2 MONTHS INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP THE FIGHTING ON A DAILY BASIS HAD PRETTY MUCH STOPPED. HE GETS HIS SON EVERY OTHER WEEKEND AND WE PICK HIM UP FROM DAYCARE EVERYDAY AFTER WORK (WE NOW WORK FOR THE SAME COMPANY) WHICH WAS AN HOUR AND 20 MINS FROM WORK. WE GET OFF AT 5 AND GET HOME AT 720PM AFTER GOING TO DAY CARE. THE DAYCARE WAS 10 MINUTES FROM HIS EW HOUSE. WE DID THAT SO MY BF COULD SEE HIS SON EVERYDAY. I AM GOING TO SKIP UP ABOUT A YEAR OR SO TO OUR PRESENT RELATIONSHIP. WE GET HIS SON STILL EVERYOTHER WEEKEND AND 2 DAYS A WEEK FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS TOTAL. HIS EW MOVED ABOUT 10 MINUTES AWAY FROM US. SHE KNOWS WE LIVE TOGETHER. MY BF STILL HAS NOT GOTTEN HIS DIVORCE OR FILED FOR CHILD SUPPORT PAPERWORK. MONEY HAS BEEN AN ISSUE. WE NOW PAY 750 DOLLARS A MONTH IN CHILD SUPPORT BEING THAT WE LIVE TOGETHER AND WE BOTH HAVE A DECENT INCOME. WE ALSO CARRY ALL MEDICAL AND DENTAL INSURANCE AND PAY ANY PRESCRIPTINS AND AND CO PAYS. WE ALSO PAY HALF OF KARATE, SCHOOL PICTURES, DAYCARE ETC. WHEN HE SEPERATED FROM HIS WIFE HE LEFT WITH ONLY HIS CLOTHES AND HIS COMPUTER SO HIS SON WOULD NOT SUFFER FROM THE SEPERATION.HE HAD JUST THOSE ITEMS PLUS A CAR WHEN WE MET. WE MOVED IN TOGETHER AND ARE STILL TRYING TO FURNISH OUR HOME. OER A YEAR LATER.. WE HAVE PRETTY MUCH STARTED FROM SCRATCH JUST LIKE MOVING OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME. LOL..I MUST SAY ITS HARD WORK. WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIX CREDIT THAT WAS DESTROYED, CREDIT CARDS THAT WERE NEVER PAID AND MEDICAL BILLS BLAH BLAH BLAH.. THAT MY BF HAD NO IDEA HE EVEN HAD IN HIS NAME. ANYWAY FINANCIALY IT BEEN HARD BUT WE ARE DOING THE BEST WE CAN. I FOR THE MOST PART DONT HAVE MUCH DEALING WITH THE EW. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER AT A COUPLE FUNCTIONS AT THE SCHOOL AND KARATE BUT NOT MUCH SOCIALIZING TOOK PLACE. WE HAVE TALKED ON THE PHONE ABOUT SS BUT THAT HAS BEEN THE MOST OF IT. I ALWAYS HAVE TO INITIAT ANY CONVERSATION TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD. SHE HATES ME!! SHE GLARES AT ME, WONT SMILE, SAY HELLO OR ANYTHING. I HAVE NOT DONE A THING TO HER. ALL I HAVE DONE IS GET INVOLVED WITH HER EH MONTHS AFTER THERE SEPERATION THERE WAS NO MORE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THEM OTHER THAN DEALING WITH THERE SON. SO WHY DOES SHE HATE ME?? I HAVE DEVELOPED AN EXCELLENT RELATIONSHIP WITH (GOING TO CALL HIM SS EVEN THOUGH LEGALLY HE IS NOT)SS. I TALK TO HIME ON THE PHONE EVERY NIGHT AT 830PM WHEN MY BF CALLS HIM TO TELL HIM G NIGHT. I SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH HIM AND WE GET ALONG WELL. I NOTICED THAT HE WONT ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I AM AROUND IF HIS MOM IS PRESENT. I KNOW HE WILL NEVER TREAT ME THE SAME IN FRONT OF HER AS HE DOES WHEN WERE AT HOME BUT I FEEL IF SHE WOULD BE FRIENDLY THEN HE WOULD BE MORE COMFORTABLE AROUND THE TWO OF US. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR HIM TO RUN AND GIVE ME A HUD BUT NI DONT WANT HIM TO FEEL LIKE HE IS DOING SOMETHIG WRONG BY BEING NICE TO ME. I FEEL IT IS CAUSED BY HER COLD SOULDER TOWARD ME. HERE LATLY THERE HAS BEEN SOME OTHER THINGS GOING ON. MY BOYFRIEND ASKED ME TO GET HIS PHONE FOR HIM BECAUSE IT HAD BEEN BEEPING. WHEN I PICKED UP THE PHONE IT WAS ON TEXT MESSAGE SCREEN AND IT SHOWED THE BEGINNING OF THE MESSAGE. IT SAID "HEY CUTIE!!"... I WAS LIKE BLOWN AWAY THAT HE WOULD HAVE A MESSAGE LIKE THAT FROM SOMEONE. THIS ALL HAPPENED IN FRONT OF HIM. I DID NOT OPEN THE MESSAGE BUT I ASKED HIM IMMEDIATLY WHO IT WAS FROM. HE TOLD ME FROM EW. I ASKED HIM DOES SHE ALWAYS SEND STUFF LIKE THAT???.. HE SAID NO IT WAS THE FIRST. I BELIEVED HIM BEING THAT I HAD NO REASON NOT TO. HE SAID SHE WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY. I TOLD HIM I LIKE FRIENDLY BUT NOT THAT FRIENDLY.I ASKED HIM IF THAT CONTINUED THEN I WANTED HIM TO TELL HER IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE. WELL I ALSO HAVE NOTICED THAT MY BF COMES HOMES FROM WORK AND TELLS ME THINGS THAT SHE SAID USUALLY IN A TEXT MESSAGE. MY BF AND I CARPOOL TO AND FROM WORK EVERY DAY BEING THAT WE WORK FOR THE SAME COMPANY AND WORK THE SAME HOURS. WE DONT SEE EACH OTHER DURING THE DAY BECAUSE WE WORK IN DIFFERENT DEPARTMENTS. IT HAS GOTTEN TO BE A REGULAR THING FOR HIM TO TELL ME ABOUT THINGS THAT SHE TEXT HIM SOMETIMES IT IS ABOUT THERE SON BUT NOT USUALLY. WELL THE OTHER DAY I GRABBED HIS CELL PHONE OUT OF MY PURSE, WHERE HE PUT IT. I GUESS WHEN I GRABBED IT I HIT A BUTTON AND IT WENT TO HIS MESSAGE SCREEN. I SAW THAT HE HAD BEEN TALKING TO HER A LOT THROUGHTOUT THE DAY, I GOT NOSEY AND READ THROUGH ALL HIS MESSAGES. I KNOW SHAME ON ME BUT THINGS HAVE A CHANGES A BIT AND I WANNA KNOW WHY.. WHAT BETTER WAY TO FIND OUT. AT FIRST THE MESSAGES WERE REALLY STUPID LIKE HEY DID YOU WATCH XX ON TV LAST NIGHT?? I SAW SOMETHING THAT MADE ME THINK ABOUT YOU... HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?? ALL THINGS THAT SHE SENT TO HIM. HE DID REPLY TO ALL HER MESSAGES I NOTICED THAT HIS RESPONSE WAS SHORT BUT ANSWERED HER QUESTIONS. NO TIME TO WATCH TV. OK AND FINE WERE HIS REPLIES TO HER QUESTIONS. BUT I DID NOTICE SHE STARTED TALKING ABOUT CARS I GUESS TRYING TO MAKE CONVERSATION... HE IS HUGE INTO CARS!! SHE WAS TEXTING ABOUT A COOL CAR AND HE REPLIED THEN I NOTICED THAT SHE SAID "HOW ELSE WOULD A GIRL LIKE ME GET A GUY LIKE YOU ATTENTION?" MY BF DID NOT REPLY. I DID NOT TELL HIM I READ THROUGH THE MESSAGES. BUT THAT SAME NIGHT I BROUGHT UP A CAR CONVERSATION, THE SAME CAR THEY HAD TALKED ABOUT.. JUST TO SEE IF HE WOULD MENTION TO ME ABOUT THERE CONVERSATION.AT THE TIME HE DID NOT BUT HE HAD THE WEIRDEST LOOK ON HIS FACE. IT WAS SO FUNNY. ABOUT 2 HOURS LATER HE SAID ITS FUNNY THAT YOU BROUGHT THAT CONVERSATION UP CAUSE BM TEXT ME ABOUT THE SAME CAR. LOL.. YEA.. HE TOLD ME!! I FELT SO MUCH BETTER. WELL THEN ABOUT A DAY LATER HE TOLD ME SHE HAD BEEN TEXTING HIM. STUPID STUFF..WELL I ASKED HIM WHY DOES SHE ONLY TRY TO TALK TO YOU WHEN SHE KNOWS THAT I AM NOT WITH YOU. DONT YOU THINK THATS KINDA STRANGE?? YES I THINK ITS WEIRD BUT WE HAVE TO GET ALONG. WELL WHEN HE IS WITH ME AND SHE SENDS A MESSAGE HE DOES NOT ANSWER HER, HE JUST ROLLS HIS EYES. BUT YET WHEN HE IS AT WORK HE WILL TEXT BACK AND FORTH WITH HER THROUGHOUT THE DAY. SHORT BUT STILL HE DOES IT WHEN I AM NOT AROUNG BUT DOES NOT DO IT WHEN I AM AROUND. IS THIS STRANGE? SHOULD I BE WORRIED? I ASKED HIM ABOUT THIS BEHAVIOR AND HE SAID THAT IT IS HARD TO BALANCE TWO WOMEN WITHOUT MAKING SOMEONE MAD AND HE HAS TO BE FRIENDLY WITH BECAUSE SHE IS THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD. I UNDERSTAND ALL THAT AND I LIKE FRIENDLY BUT NOT TOO FRIENDLY. I HAVE A FEELING THAT SHE IS TRYING TO GET THIS TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. HE KNOWS IT TOO BC HE TOLD ME THAT SHE DOES USUALLY TRY TO TALK WHEN SHE KNOWS I AM NOT AROUND. HOW DO I STOP THIS WITHOUT CAUSING A PROBLEM FOR MY BF AND SON. IS ALL THIS NORMAL? WILL IT GET EASIER.
imamommy
lovehadley
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