I wouldn't say when coming home since my SC do not have extended visits with their mom.

But I think it is stress related with my 8 yr SD though ... if her and mom had a "tough day" she has accidents she goes off into a daydream of sorts ... she sleepwalks and urinates in the hallway... she even vomits while she is sleeping (she stresses herself out over what I call minor but to her major incidents so much she makes herself sick). And their mom used to put all her problems on their shoulders. They couldn't carry the load and would just crumble.

She made fun of a kid at school and told the other girls to make fun of him too. Came home and cried and vomited damn near had a breakdown over making fun of the boy. For two days straight nothing eased her mind or body. She would urinate on herself ... then go to take a shower and vomit on herself in the shower. This does not happen often but atleast every couple of months she is "stressed out" about something.

If it goes away in a couple days after return probably just the stress of being back and forth not a major big deal. Next time they visit BM put the rubber sheets on the bed before they get back. :-)

I would take them to the doctor to see if they had been molested. some kids wet the bed until their preteens, but never heard of one starting to at the age of 9, especially during the day. It's got to be something more than just ordinary stress, maybe some kind of trauma or doing it on purpose.

It could also be just different routines -- maybe grams doesnt let them drink any liquids after dinner, etc. I would just ask them if they are OK, and see if he goes away.

So we went to the store tonite to get school supplies. My ss was sitting in the cart and peed his pants! Never asked to go to the bathroom and did not tell me he peed. I was helping him out of the cart when we got to the car and his shorts were very wet. Then I asked him if he had an accident and he got hysterical. I hugged him and told him "no big deal" its pajama time when we get home anyways.

It is most likely a sign of some form of emotional trauma children experienced: molestation, abuse, saw or heard something inappropriate what they shouldn't see or hear, argument, extreme stress etc. It is something that they experienced while being away. Please take them to a doctor. Even if it is simple stress still you would want to take care of it before school starts. It does not sound right.

Well I do know that their mom and her bf broke up while the kids were there. The oldest told us that her mom was very sad and crying a lot and that her moms bf told her mom it was over. Maybe that had an impact on the kids. The mom was always pushing her bf on the kids and telling them he was their daddy, especially to her son since he is the youngest.

My dh says that since the bedwetting and accidents happened the last time the kids were with their bm for longer than a weekend it must just be the stress and emotion of going back and forth.

Yes - It could just be the stress, change in routine, etc. Or not.

But I think if you can afford it, taking them to the doctor is a good idea. Why? In part, to document what happened. It's NOT normal, and it's not a symptom you want to ignore. It could also indicate some typs of medical problem - maybe a urinary tract infection, kidney infection, etc. that could require treatment.

There could very well come a time when you don't want to send them to BioMom's -- and if/when that time comes, you're going to need all the ammunition you can muster. And this smells bad (figuratively) --

I want to believe it's a simpler answer. However, I think all the business about who to call 'mom' and when had to create a lot of turmoil on these poor kids. The whole phone business and Lord knows what else BM said to them could have caused a bit of stress.

Can you call the g-parents to 1) thank them for the clothes and 2) ask them if this occurred there at all?

Then, be SURE to have the kids visit the bathroom just before bedtime and limit liquids after dinner and see what happens.

Good luck,
Dana

I did ask the oldest if her little brother had accidents at moms house, she is a busy body and knows EVERYTHING that goes on :) She said no. My dh had already thanked the grandparents for the clothes and calling and asking them about accidents would have been awkward.

After the accident at the store last night I was worried. But, ss did not have an accident in his bed last night. So we am hoping that the problem was just a little stress and maybe exhaustion from the flights home (got up early and had a layover) and then going to bed late here and getting up early the next day and so on. I am just sad that visitation could be so stressful for a kid!

If he has any more accidents we will take your advice and bring him to the dr.
Thanks :)