I feel for you, it sounds like a tough situation all the way around. Is there any way that he can fight for custody? It sounds like an unstable situation that his daughter is in and one that she shouldn't be in. And if something is done hopefully the mental damage isn't that bad.

Check your state laws...the daughter may be old enough to decide where she wants to live and can come with you if she wants. Just be prepared for a fight. Doesn't sound like this woman will give her up easily. Many of the things you said made her sound like my ex-SIL and she's making it hard for the kids to be around their Dad and has done this for years.

Give Dawn the rope and she'll hang herself. If she hasn't yet!!

He has joint custody now, and I said the same thing, if this continues we're taking her to court for full custody. We considered it, and talked with our daughter about it, and she said she would, if not for her brother, and asked if we could take him as well. She's more worried about who will take care of him if she's not around. That's sad!!! My husband isn't the father of her brother, and we explained to her that we have no legal rights to him. Unfortunately she isn't the legal age yet, to choose on her own. I really don't want to put her through a huge battle. I'm hoping she does "poorly" in school so "Dawn" will send her here freely. Mind you, the child is an A B student, and "Dawn" completely over reacts if her grades slip ONE point. Say A+ to an A. That's all it will take according to "Dawn" so we'll see come the end of first quarter. The witch is just looking for a way out, but doesn't want to be the bad guy. Then again, her daughter is the only hold she has on my husband, and knows once she signs off physical custody, that will be no more. It's sick.

I've asked my husband if he and "Dawn" ever had a sex thing throughout the years after leaving her. He said HELL no! If they had, atleast then her actions would make sense to me. I just don't get people like her. Is why I call it Fatal attraction. It took her 6 years the first time to get him drunk enough to sleep with her, she's thinking if she persists, he'll eventually give in again.

My husband is a mechanic on the side, running his own business, so whenever her car breaks down, she calls US. Last month she wanted him to not only fix her car for free, but to give her one of our cars (mine or his) to run until it was fixed. Not just NO but HELL No!!!! Then she plays the "Child Card." Well "D" needs to get here, or there, and my car just isn't safe for the kids....still getting a big fat NO, she throws a fit like a two year old, blaming ME. LOL I offer to take "D" wherever she needs to be, karate, soccor, whatever, as I'm not working right now being so close to my due date; but no that's not good enough. My husband will fix her cars at cost, all she pays for is parts. I don't have a problem with this, as it is in "D" best interest. But "Dawn's" whole attitude is gimmie gimmie gimmie, and the more you give the more she wants and she's finding out it isn't going to be like that.

We bought our daughter a computer a few years ago, which she never gets to use as "Dawn" is always on it. She has to come here and do her homework. Anyways, last year "Dawn" calls, and asks my husband if we'd upgrade her computer so SHE (dawn) could play a game she had bought. Is this woman on crack? She never fails to amaze me.

I'm glad I found this site, cause now I don't feel so alone!! Thanks for listening to me babble!

Mikkella,
Document, document, document!!! Keep a journal, dates, tape phone calls(but check with your state laws!!), video tape her "actions". Keep receipts to show your hubby goes above and beyond, child support. Look into getting "D" some sort of counseling. When you think you have enough documentation, set up an appt with an attorney. Does Dawn do this to the father of her son??? Maybe you or your DH can talk to him and work as a "team" in the best interest of ya'lls children.
Most of all let the child know she will always have a safe and unconditional loving enviroment to call home.

No, "Dawn's" ex husband was smart and moved to Ohio. LOL He has nothing to do with his son.
I save everything!! She has tried to pull the we don't pay enough, or do enough for "D" before, until I pulled out receipts, and copies of checks. So she knows I save these things, which really pissed her off. I'll just keep doing my best for our daughter. I always tell her this is her home, and we're here for her no matter what. When she tells me things about her mom I try to stay objective, and not show my disgust. Most times I'm defending her mom with some lame excuse, trying to make her feel better, but the kid is far from stupid, and 9 times out of 10 calls me on it. LOL

Dawn, your husband's ex sounds very much like mine. Yours is more extreme, but the intentions of 'control' over the child and over her ex-boyfriend's (my DH's) life are the same. The basis of the pregnancy is similar as well. Ex got pregnant during drunken night after DH had already broken up and moved things out... don't ask me why they had one more interlude but... They have both said that had to be the night it happened, because there was no sex for months leading up to then!! At any rate, ex admitted to stopping her bc and seducing him that night just to try and get pregnant so DH would stay! She actually admits this. I swear she is the devil in disguise. Who would do such a irresponsible, warped thing?????

She got pregnant alright, but her plan didn't work, so now she has this kid who is just a 'nuissance' to her... and lucky for her and SS, a really great daddy. As I mentioned in the other post about having SS full time now... let's just hope it gets to that point for you. Problem is, we still have to deal with her because she still wants visitation. That also means that SS will be subjected to her whacky interpretation of life and emotional abuse, every other weekend plus wednesdays!!! Let's just hope the time in between we can undo the damage. I really feel for you. It's frustrating. Don't let her take your 'life' as much as you can. It sounds like you guys put up with so much!!

(((HUGS))))

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Please don't call ME "Dawn"....eueueueue, that's just wrong. LOL I am MIkkella. "Dawn" is the psycho ex.
We were told by friends after the New Years eve party that "Dawn" had bragged about going off the pill weeks prior to the party, and had friends of hers carry my DH to the car, and into the hotel room. How he ever had sex with her that night is beyond me! The last thing he remembers is finishing a half gallon of JD, and passing out in a chair at the friends house where the party was. Then waking up in the hotel room with her the next morning, and looking for any alcohol, saying NOOOOOO, over and over. As I said he turned her down for 6 years prior to this, and she knew what kind of man he was, even at 19, a kid would be the only way she could "get" him.
SD is very lucky to have us, and I relate to the ex still wanting visitation. While we had her for two months, "Dawn" wanted to see her on the weekends, which was fine, but all it was, was an excuse to call here, to make MORE excuses as to why she didn't call SD when she was suppose to, or come get her when she said she would. She saw her three times in two months, each time staying HERE in my house, throwing herself at my DH, for an hour or more. She thinks because I'm pregnant, that she has a chance of getting him in bed, which makes no sense to me, but that's just her warped thinking.
I'm sure once your SS is settled in, and you all get into a normal routine, showing him how life is suppose to be, he'll see his "MOM" for what she is. Beautiful thing about kids, they get older, and understand more. *S*

Unfortunately, the psycho will be a part of your life forever. Much less after the child is of the age of majority, but still there in the background wreaking havoc. I have a 35 year old sister (professional, own home,gorgeous and smart, 70K per year income)that has never been married and probably never will marry because she refuses to accept someone with "baggage". She went out once with a wonderful man for a year and a half that had been married and ended up breaking up with him because she was not about to take on that mess. After reading all of this, I understand her position better now and can't blame her. The best you can do is shield yourself and your family as much as you can, limit contact as much as humanly possible without obstructing provisions of custody agreement and never listen to wagging tongues that like to spread around things she's said and done. Though, sometimes done with best of intentions, gossip can hurt and wear you down. As for the bc thing. Women have been doing that since time began to trap men. About a year or two ago, I read a story about some athlete (fuzzy details here) that was sued in a paternity suit by a woman that he had never even met much less had sex with. She also agreed that this was fact. The athlete had slept with her girlfriend and the friend saved the condom contents and given it to her friend for ... for want of a better term self-insemination. The paternity test revealed that the athlete was indeed the father of the child! She got mucho bucks for child support because whether they had sex or not didn't matter what was of concern was a child whose father was correctly identified!!! An old friend of mine had a teenage son before my children were even born and when he was leaving the house, she would always scream after him ... "Keep it zipped"!!! I used to think she was a little off kilter, but at least he's never had kids out of wedlock yet. There are manipulators out there that will stop at nothing to get what they want. They may never get it .... but that doesn't mean that they won't keep on trying until they have destroyed everything in their path. Let it all bounce off of you like off a a force field and maybe she will wear herself out. Though conceived by deception, this child may grow to be the best thing that ever happened to your husband and you. The love you give will come back to you. Be strong.

OH, I am so sorry :(((( I knew that "Dawn" was the psycho ex... it was just a typo!!