AMEN! I am so with you on that! When my dad had his heart attack all I could think of was what if this was last time I saw him? What if the last words he spoke to me were "call such-and-such"? When im angry with my parents, I remember a revalation I had about 9 years ago. I was angry with my mother and I came into work complaining about her. Then I turned and said to the girl sitting next to me "Doesn't it just make you mad when your mom does that?" She said "Well......no, because my mom and stepfather died about 5 years ago in an accident with a train". The the next lady said "Yeah....my mom died about 10 years ago". Then the other lady said "My mom died when I was 15 of heart failure". I felt so HORRIBLE! Like a spoiled brat! I had been taking for granted that my parents were still here to complain about! I bet those women felt just like you: they wish they still had their parents alive to complain about. I bet they wanted to btell me that sometimes, too. But they never did. They were so gracious.

I have a vivid memory of going to my local Kmart with my daughter and my ex... as we were driving through the parking lot I saw my mom heading into Kmart... I looked at ex and said lets go somewhere else ... he asked why I whispered I just saw my mom going in ... I was pissed off at her because of a choice I made and she called me on it.... and because I couldn't face her knowing I was wrong I cowered away and avoided her that day ..... Everytime I go by/in that store I think of my mom entering the doors that day and how foolish I was If I had known she would be dead in less than 2 years from that day maybe I would have sucked it up and gone shopping with my mom!!!

Sorry all sometimes a "girl" just needs her mom to make her feel like someday it will all be worth it!!!

I m not sure what thread this was hijacked from but....I think everyday, if my DH , something should happen to him suddenly, how my ss will feel..DH and him are not speaking... DH had a pacemaker in December, not even a hospital visit or call then or since...And as for myself, having been estranged from my own father for years, and just visiting him the last 8 weeks, he is on his deathbed , I mean literally, may last days or hours...All... the wasted time...Feel like I am totally falling apart

Thank you Pseudo!!
I would like to second all that.

I have little tolerance for people who won't get along with their families.
My mom died in 1998, and I am so thankful that she and I had a fabulous relationship during my teens, because I can't imagine the regrets I would have now if I was a horrible teenager who hated my parents. I never had the chance to "come back" and make amends to my mom as an adult, so I'm thankful that we never had any problems.

I'm not always thrilled with my dad (nice guy, but not that great at parenting) but the fact remains that he's the only dad I've got, and I want to make the most of it while I still have him. My dad is human, he makes mistakes... But if I didn't forgive and forget those mistakes, I'd be making a MUCH bigger mistake.

I'm so sorry for you dotz!

As much as I gripe about my mom and wish we had a better relationship, at least she is still a part of my life. Still, when she is no longer here, I know I'll feel regret and it is hard to live with that now, because I'd like to have a good relationship with her, but she doesn't know how to not hurt me with her words. Am I selfish because I stay away for my own sanity? That's how it feels.

And my dad will always be my hero so I suck it up and deal with whatever I have to. He deserves more happiness than he'll ever be able to get in this lifetime. I'd never do anything to take that away from him.

thanks pseudo, you are so right...
My parents, thanks G_d, are alive and well. But I miss my grandparents terribly. I was extremelly close to both sets, my last grandmother died two years ago and I think of her like every day. She used to have a great sense of humor and dirty mouth. lol I miss her jokes.

sorry for your father dotz.

and I agree with ceph "I have little tolerance for people who won't get along with their families."

life is too short, we better appreciate our families now.

I have to agree with pseudo on this. My parents died about thirty years ago. One of the things I miss the most is that my kids never saw their grandparents on my side (and some of them don't remember their paternal grandparents, either).

I understand, TOS. I lost my grandmother 2 months after I got engaged, so she never saw my wedding or held a great grandchild. She also had a wicked sense of humor and I miss her laugh every day. She and I were very close, and it hurts me every time I say her name and my kids ask who that is. I guess that's why I'm so proud that my parents are so close to my kids - I want them to have the same wonderful grandparent memories I do . . . but I hope they go past their early 20's.

Sorry to hear you lost your parents way too soon.

Guess I am having my own pity party....

I never had grandparents either ... My parents were in their 40's when I was born and their parents were already gone by the time I was born I think my oldest sister was born while they were alive really no clue. But she has never mentioned them.

I watch my hubby with his mom and she is very active in his life and I am not sure how to react to that its not in a bad way ... guess I don't know how to interact with a parent or what to expect from a parent at my age.

My parents were older when they had me (older for their generation) and their parents were way older when they had them. Both my grandfathers died before I was born. But I had 2 wonderful grandmothers that were as active as they could be in our lives. But I used to be so jealous of my girl friends growing up because they'd always talk about how they did this with their Pa Pa or how their G-Pa gave them this.

My DS is so fortunate that he has 2 grandfathers, 1 future stepgrandfather, 1 great grandfather, 2 grandmothers, 2 future step grandmothers, and 1 great grandmother. How blessed is he! He doesn't care. I tell him all the time that he has to be thankful for those people because one day they won't be there.

grandparents are so important for children's development. My parents did not know their garndparents, they were killed in the Holocaust. not only it is sad they never knew them but also the fact that they died such awful death. and my parents always talked about how sad it was for them not have grandparents and how lucky we are that we got grandparents etc It taught me to be very appreciative of grandparents. I agree with ashley it is a blessing.