Dh got into it last night with BM on visitation; Since we received custody she has yet to attend a conference or take them on a holiday (besides Christmas) well this year her visitation falls on the fourth and she's going on vacation so she 'didn't really want' the boys. Well he pointed out her lack of participation in their lives and brought up the subject of CS (of which we see none).

Her Response:

"Well you took them from me, if you can't afford them give them back"

Her Response on missing conferences/baseball games etc:

"You took them from me, not my problem you do it. If you didn't want to you shouldn't have taken them from me."

I do not understand AT ALL how someone (dads and moms) can disregard their own children just to spite their X! Makes me understand a little more behind the deadbeat mom situation though..

Now that he brought it up though she's taking them for the fourth. Actually first she asked them if they would like to stay home or go and they both chose to stay so she called back and each time had a new activity they would be doing while with mom until they agreed to go. So now they're going boating, camping etc.. Its just sad that he has to lecture her to get involved with the kids, and then at that point its not about the kids its about 'showing him' that she's the better parent. On one hand I'm GLAD she's actually doing SOMETHING with them; but I don't know why it always has to be a contest...and only after she's been called out on it...

Side note: And Of course through DH and hers conversation its all SM's fault, cause its not that she should have a relationship with the kids or take them on her 'weekends' but its that I 'don't want to be around her kids'. /sigh I guess I better get my wicked witches hat out of storage..