Our Eagle ceremonies were always evening events on a school night. Afterwards we just had cake with the Eagle emblem and the Scouts' names on it along with punch. Sometimes someone would bring nuts. We stepped the punch up a notch, not just some inexpensive punch. Some recipes use fruit juice, sherbet, etc. Congratulations to your son (and you too!!--I know how it is). It's a fine achievement, and I know how proud you are. Susan

Well, you really can't issue an invitation in the name you will have if you don't have it yet. Also, "informal reception" is a little confusing. I think you mean to refer to clothes, or perhaps to no meal, but it sounds sort of like there is a formal one some other time. It certainly does not do the job of indicating that there is no meal. Some of the most formal wedding receptions have no meal, and some of the most casual ones do. What about something like this: Brock L and Alicia T will be married in a family ceremony on May 18th, 2007 Please join us for a reception Saturday, May 19th, 2007 3:00 pm Unitarian Universalist Church 123 Road, City, State If you like, at the bottom in tiny type or on a separate card: After May 18th, 2007 Brock and Alicia T-L at home address --> Make sure that the date of the reception is more prominent than the date of the wedding, so no one will be confused when they glance at it on the refrigerator later. Don't invite anyone by word of mouth or email. If you want to invite them, send them invitations. An invitation is not pressure either to attend or to send a gift. I would be confused if you just sort of let me know casually that it was okay if I came: "Does she really want me there, or is she just feeling like she should have invited me, or what?" I don't know how big your department is or how close you are with everyone, but you are not obligated to invite them all. People understand that you can't invite the whole world, and if they aren't close with you on a personal basis, they probably wouldn't want to come anyway (even the most fun wedding in the world is no fun if you don't know the people there -- take it from a clergy wife!) If the faculty members are really your friends, no reason not to invite them, but don't feel bad if they decline. It sounds like you are very excited, which is good, and want to include everyone you like. But eventually you have to put on the brakes! Have fun! By the way, what are you studying?

Sweet pea's got a good idea with the cocktail reception. I catered for 4 years, so I've seen tons of different things at wedding receptions. I wouldn't have a cocktail period for much more than an hour, guests tend to get restless quickly and those that live a ways away won't want to spend 90 min standing around with drinks. I don't know what type (open, cash, beer/wine, none) bar you're having, but the longer cocktails last, the more people will drink and the more expensive (potentially) it gets. Also, if you do an hors d'oeuvres reception, consider having only butlered trays for the cocktail period and then a mix of passed food and a more substantial "station" after the bridal party arrives. The station can have heartier food (with appetizer plates and forks) and can serve as a substitute early dinner. The station can change to dessert-type food (chocolate-covered strawberries, truffles, etc) and the passed trays can stop when you cut the cake. That will give the reception an easy timeline and stopping the trays means everyone can dance without knocking over servers! I've seen receptions with this set-up last as long and be as fun as dinner-dance receptions. One thing to remember too if you go with hors d'oeuvres, get the caterer to make you and the groom separate plates with a sampling of all the appetizers and bring it to a table for you. You won't have to compete with your guests to get food and it will give the two of you a chance to sit down for a quick break during the reception. Congratulations and good luck planning!

"Isn't it convenient to be able to pick and choose which wrongs you want to pretend are right!!! " That's exactly what you are doing... How about divorce? and I am not pretending it's right. In my mind there is nothing outrageous or wrong about what I am doing... especially since I'm doing it with the support of my family. And I don't agree that "society in general" shares this opinion, not in this day and age. Who decides what is the "right thing"? Religion? so what if I'm not a "bible thumper" (stings, huh?)... then what's right? Should I follow the example the church is sending me? Sexually abusing little boys... where is your morality there? If you can't look to your CHURCH for guidance, then I guess what you consider good morals may be up for debate. How about the preacher's daughter who was having sex with the two employees of the AZ fire department? (check the news) I'm sure her father tried to do the best he could in her upbringing, being a preacher and all, but you see with kids it can go either way. You just have to hope for the best and do the best you can as parents. (I went to private catholic school for 10 years... and attended church every Sunday... I have nothing against the church personally). I'm not trying to convince you it's "the right way"... I was just saying you don't have to be so mean about how you speak to others. Religion should have tought you at least that? People on these posts are just asking for help, not to be judged on their morals. I've read other posts and I've seen your comments to others. It seems whenever you have the opportunity to attack someone on "lack of morals" you don't hesitate... and you know very well that it's hurtful, especially the way you say it... with disgust. My children will all grow up just fine, thank you, with a brain to make their own decisions and live their lives how they think is best, and I hope within reason. All we do is try and hope they all turn out ok. We are responsible adults and we are raising responsible children. One thing is for sure, they will learn "tolerance", which is something my parents taught me, and you have yet to learn. Don't want to fight with you... just asking you to be a little kinder. If you have helpful advice for me, I welcome it... if you just want to get online and look for a reason to call me "shack up", then "society" will see just what kind of moral person you are. OZ