goes to Newgardenelf:

"She tries her hardest to make things difficult but she has succeeded in only bringing us all closer together. I am a better mother to my children and stepchildren because of her. We have more support from family and friends because of her behavior."

I think this is the case for me as well. My SD sees they difference between the way her mom and I behave, and she thanks me often for 'being me.' I can look at mom's actions and SD's reactions and learn what not to do. I believe that in the last few years SD has figured out that her mom doesn't do all the things I do that I don't *have* to. There are times when she isn't being a typical 13 year old that she can be really quite touching in acknowledging it.

I kept hoping that one day mom would see that all her attempts were backfiring . . . maybe now she finally has?

I think she *helps* in my relationship with DH has well. He also sees the difference between mom and I and voices often how great it is that I am there in the trenches with SD daily. I know it means the world to him that from day 1 I accepted SD as my own and haven't treated her any different than her brothers.

I think the rule applies that then you are at the bottom there is no where to go but up?