Nope, I think that you're spot on. Our 2 kids, who split time between us and mom's, have their own rooms. Always have and will until they're grown up.

After that, all bets are off...LOL

I agree with you: He's FAMILY and deserves a place he can call his own if at all possible.

Get the "stuff" out of the closet, the daughter's things into her room, and let the decor be his idea. Sharing with an adult's office, they'll have to negotiate clutter, cleaning and territory, but nothing sounds like it's going to make it impossible for her to function.

As for guests, they will take what's available. If they odn't like boy-decor, let them stay in a motel.

Agreed with all of the above. And if a baby comes along (and you probably know that isn't a good idea right now), it should share a room with whichever child is the same gender.

Your son needs and deserves his own room! If her parents get one, your son gets one. Fair is fair. I know in a previous post you indicated that her parents lived with you 6 months out of the year. Is this still the case? Or are they with you permanently now? And how often do you have sleep-over guests? Considering you only have your son every other weekend, chances are good that your guests could very well visit on the weekends you don't have your son, in which case the guests could use his room. If you have guests on the weekends that you DO have him, couldn't the guests use your wife's parents' room? I think it'll take a little patience and flexibility on everyone's part (and this can be hard to come by-- sounds as though your wife may not WANT to be flexible), but a little bedroom musical chairs may be the only option. If you don't have sleep-over guests too often, the discomfort and confusion of bedroom-swapping shouldn't be inordinately high.

NOTE: I never had my own room in my father and 1st step-mother's house, but it didn't bother me, primarily because my stepmother showed a great deal of love and affection for me, so I KNEW I was welcomed and a member of the family. Whether I had my own room or not didn't matter. However, I think in your son's case, because it sounds as though your wife isn't too keen on having your son around, your son no doubt senses this, and having a room of his own could counteract the unease he may feel around her. Her attitude towards him may not be particularly affectionate, but at least her actions, ie: giving him a room of his own, could go far in showing him he is indeed family.

Her parents live with us for 6 months out of the year but they pay "rent" for their room all year round (even when they are not in the country). They will not be he permanently for maybe 10-20 years from now, or probably when health problems prevent them from traveling. Guests come over maybe 2-3 times/year and probably the odd sleep over during the holiday seasonÂ

Message to paigect, I would agree with you re: same gender in the same room but my son is 9 and also needs his privacy. Our daughter is only 2, when she turns ~ 5 that will be a different issue but right now if we do have a "baby" it would be best if they were both in the same roomÂ

My wife appears to be more flexible now, I just want to know if IÂm being reasonable or if thereÂs something IÂm missing Thanks again everyone for your advise!

The games women play. You are right on target on this, and yes the room should be "his" room, so that he does not feel like a "guest" in your home, but instead feels that you are opening up your home to him, and including him as part of the family. Through divorce and remarriage, the family home is often sold, and as a childs parents remarry, no where feels like "home" anymore. There are new step-parents, and step-siblings and everything changes for a child. They are no longer sure where they fit in, or in many, many cases..."IF" they fit in anywhere anymore. Anything you can do to help reassure your beautiful son that he is so wanted and loved...and you can't wait to see him when he visits...and that this special spot is for him alone. I wonder if it helps a child if they decorate it exactly like the room in their other house, with the other parent. Is there another spot for the computer, etc.? otherwise...perhaps she could put it in her parents room, since they are gone 1/2 a year.

In terms of your wife...it sounds like passive-aggressive behavior. Many women are pros in this type of behavior. It is often so subtle, you might miss it at first glance...or think that you are imagining things. It is their way of manipulating.

Stay strong on what you strongly believe in. You are on the right track on this one.

hoxipg...how's it going?

I think you are right on all accounts. My stepkids come every second weekend and they have their room. I had to make my sons room from part of the living room. Its unfair for him who lives with us 24/7 but he is only 8 months old and doesn't understand yet. I am building a wall to separate the rooms within the year. And once we buy our house , he will have his own room.
But you are totally right. He needs to have his own room especially since your wife sounds a bit apprehensive about him. I maybe wrong about it. But how is the relationship between them? Is it good? or do they ignore one another?
My hubby and i discussed our situ when we get a house. His daughter wants her own room and we both agreed that it wont happen. Both come over every second weekend and to have them have each their own room is a waste of space. They will share whether they like it or not. And besides, we dont have that much money to buy a 4 bedroom house. It will have to be a 3 bedroom. And yes, my son who lives with us 24/7 will get his own room and not share with his brother who is 7 1/2 years older than he is.