How old is she? Maybe this is a good time to pull her aside with the counselor at school and all have a sit down together to try and get some answers. There must be something going on for this to start suddenly after 3 weeks. It may be someone at the new school is picking on her or she fell in with a not so good group of kids.

That's what I would do, try to make it a positive meeting rather than negative ex.."What can we do to make this a positive change for you? Is something going on here that's making you uncomfortable?" Rather than , "Why are you acting this way!!"

Hopefully you'll at least figure out what is happening.

I agree with catlettuce.

It could also be her testing the boundaries at the new school. If she has a lot of changes (new school, new visitation schedule, etc.), she may be testing the waters to see if her boundaries have changed.

Does BM have a problem with how she is behaving? It's a good time to try and work together so she sees both homes and the school are going to communicate with each other.

She's 4. We have a sneaking suspicion that she doesn't like one of her teachers. But its one of those one day she likes her, one day she doesn't.

She told me that her teacher hurt her hand when she was taking her hand. Like when she takes a students hand to guide them to this or that room/activity. After speaking to SD about it, I had DH bring that to the teachers attention... so i'm not sure if its the teacher that is a trigger or what. or maybe she's not having enough consistency between the two homes b/c she does act out with her mom.

My ds was similar to that in preschool. He would get into trouble soooo much! I would talk to him, put him in time-out at home, take his favorite toys away, take away movie time, etc. I cried over it a lot blaming myself and thinking I must be a horrible mother for my son to act that way! He was not like this at home and I couldn't understand it.

I am not sure what made me realize this, but the program he was in was not very structured. There was lots of free-time and if he chose not to do group time he could play instead. The teachers were young and inexperienced.

I ended up finding a Head Start preschool/pre-k program. It is a very structured program for low-income and at-risk kids. Because I was a single mom in college at the time I qualified for their services. The teachers all have college degrees (which they did not in the daycare preschool he was in prior to that). They had a lot of experience and were very kind to him. He thrived in that structure. Sure he tested the waters at first, but they were very consistant and he adapted well. He is 9 now and still remembers those 2 teachers at Head Start and how much fun it was there!

Since she's four and she's in Pre-K, I'd go with she's testing her boundaries. A new structure or new schedule usually results in some kids bucking the system. She could even be testing the teachers to see their response.

For now, I'd reinforce the rules and consequences for her actions at school and if it still continues, set up a meeting with her teachers and see how she interacts with them.

She is actually in a very good program with a lot of structure and her last school was the same way. So i'm thinking its something more specific to the changes and/or the teacher.
They're going to try a couple of different things. I just don't wnat them to give up on her. Kids need time and patience, how do we make sure or encourage that the school doesn't give up on her.

My SD did the same thing when she was 6 and her visitation was increased with her BM. (we have full custody) Honestly I think it is normal. If you just changed schedules and parenting time that can be extremely traumatic for a young child. Kinda like a whirlwind and you don't know where you will land. Give her time, she will adjust, but do not tolerate the behavior.

So this being Friday, she has acted out every single day this week. I'm frustrated because she knows better. Now she spit at her teacher! This has being going on for 6 days. We do not let her get away with it at home, but i'm wondering what else we can do! Privileges are cut out, her dad spanked her a couple of times, she's been talked to to no end. What else works? ANd how long do we wait. can you wait it out?

It sounds to me that SD has more than a some day she likes teacher, some day she doesnt. Can you have her class switched? Maybe this teacher is just too rough with children.

They switched her to the other class today because she did well with this teacher when they had her in her class for part of the day on Wednesday. So today she went in there but still had some issues. We're really surprised by all of this.

Another thing has been that she's been disruptive during the nap time. She NEEDS a nap, otherwise becomes cranky. But b/c she has been disruptive the last few days during nap, they have her in another room with the older kids who don't nap. She's exhausted by the time I pick her up.