Aaaarghhhh. HELP!!!!!!

19 years ago

DH and I have been raising his almost 13 y/o DGS for 3 1/2 years. He's had a lot of emotional issues but has been seemingly healthy for the past year or so. Last night I came home from work to find a very large burned spot on my new couch and burned Kleenex, etc in the trash bag. The dumb little fool could have killed himself from fire or smoke inhalation and burned down our home. I'm so disappointed and angry with him. We have worked so hard trying to raise him. He hasn't touched anything pertaining to fire for three years, we thought he was over it. We both feel that if his behavior deteriorates, he has to go back to his custodial grandmother or to Social Services. Darn kid.

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dcubana
19 years ago
Fire starting is a very serious behavioral problem.You are right about emotional problems,this is definetely an indicator.Do not leave this child alone,please...I honestly don't think it would be wise to take that risk.Lets just say he did infact end up "killing himself"-the state can turn around and prosecute and blame you for leaving a child with a "history of fire starting" at home alone.And if he had "burned down your house" then you'd be homeless and i don't think home insurance covers "purposely started fires" so that would also be a problem.

I am not an advocate of medication unless its absolutely nessesary.I think its wrong to medicate kids because they are hyper but i would recommend it if its to treat a child who displays any "serious or dangerous" behaviors due to his mental state.What was his mother like?If there is any history of mental illnesses-he may be genetically predispositioned.

Is this child in therapy? If he isn't, he definetely needs to be.Don't take this behavior lightly.Especially if he has a history of "playing with fire".Did you know that the majority of the kids in residential treatment centers are "fire starters"?

One day you and your husband may wake up in a house thats up in flames.You had better make sure that you go through every single little possible thing that he could use to start a fire and either put it in a safe or get rid of it.I would also recommend that you get a sensor alarm and place it in his room so if he tries to get out for any reason,during the night it will go off.As well as a whole bunch of fire alarms if you dont have them already.

My heart goes out to you.I can relate to the feelings you are going through completely.Dealing with a difficult child is an extremely draining job.Both physically and mentally.

Good luck and i hope this helps you in some way.
(((Big hug)))
-Dcubana
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Aaaarghhhh. HELP!!!!!!

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dcubana

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