Last month I emailed iVillage using the "Contact Us" at the bottom of the page and Tamara on this site. I asked them how to change a username but they never answered. So the only way I can think of doing it is to register as Kathy said. But if your email is already registered to your user name you can't register - it will say 'this email address is already registered.' So that means you have to create another email account.

Love - You said "He said fine, he would have to leave work early, didn't want to "inconvenience me" yada yada." and "I asked him what made him say that and he just said "well, I can't leave work early today." WOW. So I guess in his MAN MIND that is his way of acknowleding that I wouldn't do it." The way I see it is this was his way of making you feel guilty for being a SAHM, but unwilling to help him out with his kid. Don't give in!!!! Be strong in that HE needs to do what HE needs to do for HIS kid, and it wouldn't have to be this way if the (in the words of Sweeby) bat-sh*t crazy b*tch hadn't come in your home and punched you. Pseudo said "....I guess my point was if he puts BM before you ... if you had a child with him where would he draw the line ...." This is totally what I have been thinking for a few months now, but could never get the courage up to say anything. Where will he draw the line? Your DD has already been subjected to so much from this woman, and he's not even her father! How much would he put a child of his own through? Example: my friend has a DD with her DH who has 2 DDs with a crazy BM. The DH is a SAHD to the little one (DD with my friend) and would take her with him to pick up the other DDs on his weekend. It became a habit that the BM wouldn't be home at p/u time and wouldn't answer her phone. He would wait around for them to return (afraid that if he left he wouldn't get to see his DDs). One time, the little DD was in the car and carseat for 4 hours while he tried to track them down and waited for them. 4 hours! My friend finally said "You can wait around for 4 hours if you want, but you will not have MY daughter sitting in a carseat for 4 hours while you sit in your car outside their home." Basically, he had no problems putting BM ahead of his new DD. Remember...the squeaky wheel gets the grease. You just have to start squeaking louder than her. Jupiter said "I think that they need to see their ex's as good mothers (even when they clearly are not) maybe to somehow reassure themselves for when they are with her." So, so, so, true. My DH knows BM is a back-stabbing liar. But then he says stuff like "well, BM says it's SD's decision and she asks her all the time if she wants to visit". So why would he believe that one statement when he's caught her in so may lies before? The only thing that makes sense is he NEEDS to believe she's a good mother. Jupiter also said "I too run into arguments where he lets her slide on things that he wouldn't with me..I try to give him the example that if it was anyone else in his life he would have told them to go to h#$% because normally in life you don't do favors for people who don't do for you let alone someone who puts him down as a father..." and Love said "But it just totally goes against DH's overall nature, which is so frustrating." This is the issue. Which personality is the REAL one? I have this same problem with DH and I'm starting to think the way he is with HER is his personality when he's vulnerable and that scares the crap out of me because I guess I rarely ever see him vulnerable. I agree with FD. When I am flexible and accommodating with X, it is usually in the best interest of DS, and I do the work. I rarely (if ever) ask DH to do anything for DS, although he would be willing, because I feel like DS is my sole responsibility since I am the parent.

Both cabinet pictures are beautiful. I wouldn't worry too much about the darkness of the cabinets, as long as you love it. I renovated a kitchen in our last house and originally decided to go with off-white/cream, because of the light in the kitchen (not much) and because I thought it would be too formal. I just could not seem to make the choice however, and kept returning to the dark wood (we used cherry, it looked very similar to the cabinet color that you love). So, I decided to go for it, along with the Absolute Black granite. To calm my fears about a "dark" kitchen, I used a wall of glass front cabinets and made sure we had high quality halogen lights, both recessed in the ceiling, and under the cabinets (all on dimmers). These decisions made a big difference. In the end, we did the right thing-I LOVED how it all turned out and the feel of the kitchen was friendly, warm and comfortable. Our GC told us at the end of the reno that it was his favorite kitchen he has ever done, and he renos about 25 kitchens a year. Quite the compliment! So, my short answer after this long response is choose what you love-it feels right for a reason. Good luck and post more pix when you can.

To imbed images in your GardenWeb posts there are three steps: 1. Digitize photos 2. Upload pics to the internet (hosting site) 3. Link to the pics Digitize Many people have digital cameras, which automatically digitize their pics. You can also have your photos developed with a company which will save your pics onto a CD. There are other photo developing companies which will upload your pics onto an 'album' created for you on their web site. A last option is to scan your pics manually. Upload to the Internet Most of the free image hosting sites have disappeared but if you'll check the properties of a photo inserted into a GW message (place cursor on pic, select right mouse button, then select Properties> you can see which image hosting site that person uses. Another way to find image hosting sites is to do a search for "free image hosting". There are many free image hosting sites but very few allow direct linking - that is, allow your pic to appear from within a GW message. Once you've chosen an image hosting site you'll need to follow the instructions on that site to upload the images from your computer. Generally it involves creating a userID, creating albums, then navigating thru your computer to specify the location of the pic(s) you want to upload. Link GardenWeb allows HTML coding within the body of a message. The format of that HTML is: [img src=""] where you use less than symbols instead of the [ and ]. Type that exact code into your GW message but put the URL of your pic within the quotes.