Step Daughter's Wedding
southernsummer
9 years ago
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Angel79
8 years agokmf6562
8 years agoRelated Discussions
Daughter's Wedding Reception- please help me!
Comments (13)Please don't take this the wrong way, but here is another very strong vote for having a caterer do this for you, even if it means much less expensive refreshments. It sounds like you don't have a whole lot of cooking experience (you wrote, "I don't know how to prepare anything"). With all respect, a wedding reception for 120 is NOT the time to learn -- even if it weren't your own daughter's wedding. This would be a daunting job even for those with lots of cooking and entertaining experience. I think even -- perhaps especially -- the most experienced would be inclined to get a caterer for a group this large, especially as mother of the bride. You will have so many other things you'll have to attend to, and even more than that that you don't want to miss. Do you really want to be refreshing the buffet when your daughter and son-in-law are having their first dance? If I were in your position, I would call a few caterers, tell them your budget -- and tell them it's FIRM -- and ask what they can do for that money. You may be very pleasantly surprised. If it's still out of range, consider ordering platters from a food store or inexpensive restaurant, and perhaps hiring a few servers/cleaners. You can supplement the latter and probably even the caterer option with some dishes you or friends and relatives make ahead and have the caterer serve along with his/her food. Your peace of mind, not having to worry about this in the months leading up to the wedding, is really important, too, along with being able to enjoy your guests on the big day. To me, that is worth some money. So if I were in your position, I'd cut way back on everything else if necessary: liquor (certainly a fountain is unnecessary), decorations, types of food, prom-y stuff like limos and favors, and even fancy wedding clothes if necessary. Being able to be a relaxed hostess who can enjoy her guests is more important, in my opinion, than fancy arrangements. Everyone is different, but that's just my experience. Congratulations to you all!...See MoreSetting limits on gifts for adult step-children
Comments (27)I am probably going to get a boo or hiss but I am not sure why a sane ex-wife couldn't attend her ex-husbands funeral. Remember at one time there was enough love to marry and create a family. I think there may be much more to the Kasem story then we are privy to. I am sure I am not the only one who is on both sides of the wife thing. Now that my children are adults and my ex's SK's are adults finances are really getting diverted. At least with child support my kids were getting some thing. My ex is the main bread winner in his home. She stopped working as soon as she could. My children raised by me are very independent and financially secure. Her children are not. They are now "helping" hers out. I know if my ex dies before her my children will not see a Penny. Do not get me wrong, I expect her to live off their accumulated funds but I suspect my kids will be out of the will and all the money go to her children. I fortunately, do not have any of those issues with my SK. It was not so years ago though. The issue was not with SK but mom not having enough money and backing out of things all the time. I for one love that my SK is an adult and I love the time we spend together. Once a parent though always a parent and there will always be reasons for interaction....See MoreShould I go to Step-daughters wedding?
Comments (68)agree with coleen. there was this story on parents forum. This one lady posted her story as estranged parent and how her DIL treated her poorly and that's why she does not talk to her son or somehting of the sort. It did sound like a real story. But people made suggestions to her that she might be too harsh on her DIL and her son, so she should try to treat them nice because they sure cannot be as evil as she decsribed. She got upset and dissapeared. But then as time passed some newly registered member posted a thread about her MIL, in this thread this "young lady" was telling the same story but now from a position of DIL. and she portrayed herself as selfish and mean DIL. Now everybody is yelling and screaming: how dare you be so mean to your MIL, you are so evil and selfish. As time passed though it turned out that that same original poster (MIL) created a new name and decided to impersonate evil DIL as to convince everybody that DIL trully is evil. When it was uncovered both posters (or actually one under 2 names)dissapeared. So people do bizzare stuff to prove the point or waste everybody's time. On the other hand it is OK to discuss hypothetical situation with the wedding or with whatever else even if it is made up. Who cares if it is real, it is not like it makes a difference for us, right? The only difference is that with real story people can provide clarifications and true details to help with discussion but in made up stories we don't have that....See MoreVenting and disengaging
Comments (10)I'm sorry. When I was a small boomer, my father & his siblings & their spouses were, like the rest of the country, completely intoxicated with the post-war "good life". Like so many others of that era, they were the first ones in their families to have "real" jobs, as opposed to working on the family farm, so they had disposable income for the first time. We were the first generation to receive "store-bought" Christmas presents or to receive cash. There were an even dozen siblings. Add spouses & children, & Christmas became just hugely unmanageable, so the 12 of them (or 24, depending on who you count) decided to change how they "did" Christmas. They all contributed to a gift for Mama & Papa (their parents/my grandparents); the 2 things I remember were a television one year & a frostfree (woohoo!) fridge one year. Then they put each grandchild's name in a hat & drew names. They had some formula to determine how many names you drew; maybe people with 4 kids drew 4 names, but then my Uncle John drew my name, & he didn't have a wife or child... However they did it, every child got 1 present at Mama & Papa's Christmas party. The siblings did not exchange presents, & Mama & Papa... well, they gave their grandchildren something, but it was usually homemade & modest, & it didn't cost a dime, having been made with Papa's tools or with Mama's needle. & *Mama & Papa didn't buy presents for their grown children*. I don't know how my father & his 11 siblings, who very seldom agreed on anything, managed to plan, agree on, & implement this very reasonable sysem, but I still think, more than 50 years later, that it was a good plan. The part that relates to your situation is that the grandparents didn't buy their children presents. Wanting to retire within a few years isn't something disgraceful that you need to feel ashamed of, something that you should be embarrassed to tell your kids. Tell them. Tell them that you've reached the stage of your life in which you have *got* to budget your money to keep from going broke & having to move in with one of them. (That oughtta give 'em a few days' worth of thought...) & then tell them what your budget is for Christmas, & ask if they'd rather have a ham or $40. The difference you have here may be your husband's reluctance to give up his "breadwinner" identity & embrace an "elder" of the family identity. He isn't the head of a nuclear family any more; his children are. They're the ones who should be spending more on other people than other people are spending on them....See MoreSouthern Summer
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