Ok, this is a really silly thing, compared to actual problems some of yall deal with, and I donÂt really need advice, just venting.

So, my momÂs SO isnÂt really well liked and doesnÂt have a particularly good relationship with anyone in the family. But for the last couple years, he particularly has not gotten along with my oldest brother and his wife. Last year at Christmas, he refused to speak to them (was really rude to my SIL when she said "hi" to him) and later "explained" to me why in a way that I think was intended to manipulate me into telling my brother what a horrible son he is. Yea, right, like iÂm stupid enough to put myself in the middle of that kind of nonsense. ItÂs gotten worse between them since then, to the point that although DB and SIL usually host thanksgiving, they chose not to this year, as they did not want SO in their home but also didnÂt want to put my mom in the position of choosing to come without him or not come.

So, now this Christmas. Although us adult "kids" each exchange gifts with our mom, we otherwise donÂt exchange between adults in the family and all just give to the children. So, typically, momÂs SO doesnÂt give us (her adult kids) gifts, which is fine for all involved, the normal way we do things. This year, though, he got each of us something small (pair of gloves), from him personally (not from "mom and SO" or anything like that). A thoughtful, considerate gesture, you might think? An effort to be nice to my momÂs kids? Well, except that the only reason he did this was for the specific purpose of NOT giving anything to DB and SIL... after all, how would they know they had been excluded if he hadnÂt given any of us gifts?

Of course, they were not offended or upset; they donÂt like him any more than he likes them, so why would they care? The only one who cared was my mom who of course was hurt and angry that he couldnÂt just be civil to her kids for a couple hours. Petty as heck, but ok, whatever, holidays are over, iÂm back home, donÂt have to deal with any of it for a while again, not really my problem anyway.

But then now, SO just "friended" me on Facebook (he and my mom have been on Facebook for a while and my mom had friended me when she joined but he never did). I usually try to assume the best motives behind things other people do, and I can **imagine** other possible motives for it, but the timing is just so suspicious that I just canÂt make myself believe itÂs for any reason other than to make a point of not friending DB and SIL (who are also my facebook friends, so they can see who my friends are). Not that they would/will care, but I resent being used as a weapon (even unsuccessfully) against my own brother.

So, now *I* feel petty and, well, thurmanesque. I mean, come on, IÂm annoyed and resentful because he gave me a christmas present and friended me on facebook! How ridiculous does that sound? (and yes, seeing that in print does make me laugh at myself) But, yet...

i know i know donÂt give other people free space in my head.