I can get so concrete in my thinking I don't know when folks are joshing or not but I hope you are putting tongue in cheek and trying to put an optimistic spin on it..... but I think we are still entrenched in 2008 like the movie Ground Hog Day. Bubbles bursting is what 2008 is about. Oh, I imagine we'll survive but it ain't gonna be a joyride for good long while regardless of what we do at this point to contain it. I remember 2008 as the year a lot of people, young and old saw their retirement portfolios and pension plans whimper and deflate or even disappear. It's the year that real estate stopped it's snowballing appreciation and started rolling back down the hill in price adjustments back to normalcy. That's when the real estate market gasped, and defaults started happening. It's when Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and sub-prime became household vernacular. It's when banks started closing and being bought out by those who were considered more potentially solvent and the bail-outs started. It's when I had this gut feeling and ran down to my bank and took out a long-term, fixed rate CD and locked in the last decent interest I'll see in a long time. And when money markets started paying monthly interest you could count in pennies. And folks pulled out of stocks and started buying bonds. What amazes me, however, is that my folks saw it coming way back in the 90s and warned me. And with only a few economics courses under my belt, I even saw it coming. I can't believe nobody else did. I'm not being political either. If it is a political issue it's just like obesity or heart disease. It didn't happen in four or eight or twelve years it was insidious but the warnings have been there for a long time, so I won't finger point. It's also about societal attitudes, personal attitudes, big business, global influences and how we connect with them and we are not always at liberty to control that. It's not something I'm terribly optimistic about but it's also something I try not to get sick over either. It is what it is and one just saddles up and ride through it as best they can. But, to me 2008 is when the proverbial poo hit the fan.

I'm sorry I haven't been on this forum for quite a while so I'm unaware if you have previously gone to any counselling or grief therapy to help you deal with the profound grief you are feeling. If not, it isn't too late to seek out treatment, it will help you to cope better and be in a better position to provide comfort for your children without falling apart in the process. You can seek help under Social Services in the Yellow Pages or perhaps through your doctor. Your son may even benefit from a therapist who works with children dealing with grief. It's good that you watch home videos and still have a recorded phone message to turn to. But it might be helpful to gather some family pictures and make a scrap book that your son can look at whenver her wants to, perhaps kept beside his bed. You should explain that your tears do not mean you are upset with him for coming to you to talk, they are just because people cry when they miss someone they love, and that is normal. Assure him that he can come and talk to Mommy whenever he wants, because talking about his Dad is a good thing, not a bad thing. Perhaps you could remind your son of a time he got some physical pain from a wound or sprain or something. Remind him of how it hurt most when it happened and when it was healing, but after enough time passed it didn't hurt any more...that even though he can remember what happened, it doesn't hurt to talk about the wound anymore since it has healed. Tell him that when someone we love dies, it makes us hurt for a longer time than a normal wound. But even though we will never ever forget them, one day we will be able to think of them and talk about them without feeling so sad. You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers.

I did a quick read through, but have to come back and digest this better later. I will answer a few questions, but my brain isn't awake yet and will suely miss some. I probably should get some more printer paper today and print this out so I can answer questions better. I'm not really very concerned about security. Although I know fences can be cut, we installed nasty barbed wire all the way around our 10 acres, with a farm fence strong enough to keep horses in. Seems to be the norm here. It keeps the cows in, and sends a message to outsiders. We will eventually put a sensor alarm on the gate and on the house, etc. That said, we don't have problems in this area, since everyone living in this area is of a self sufficient mind set, and have no problems whatsoever using the means necessary for self defense. If someone wants to get you bad enough, they'll get you, so I don't worry about glass doors. There are a few cracker styles in existance. The dogtrot was one of them, but there were also single pen, double pen, saddlebag, shotgun, I-houses (were two story), and in the early 1900's the Georgian, Southern Plantation, and Victorian styles began to appear. The most important theme that ran through all of them was the protective porches. If fireplaces were used, they went on the gable ends, and because of this, had no porch in that area. The kitchens were almost always an outbuilding, but generally attatched to the porch. Haven't made a final decision on the loft yet. I guess I am leaning away from it after looking at my husband's engineering drawings. It makes for a VERY complex construction. We also ran into logistics with floor planning and subsequent lining the sight lines of the upper windows with the open lower area (great room). It all ripples, and I've about given the loft up. I don't have the energy anymore to deal with making a complex situation work out. Ten months ago, maybe, but I'm getting burned out now and just want my house. Over the weekend we visited a building that had a large gazebo connected to the house at the porch deck. I could envision that as a sewing studio. What surprised me was there wasn't a feeling of going outside the house to another building. The 8 foot porch span to the other structure didn't seem any different than a hall, and had a "safe" feeling. I will have a kitchen island, but have decided on not having a fixed one. I.m afraid of it eventually annoying me by having something in the middle of my room that couldn't be moved without demolition. We would never sit and eat at it, as some people do. We like the kitchen table. I actually have no problem with the table in the kitchen, as long as it doesn't block a working path. What I am planning is to purchase a 60 inch by 30 inch Boos brand kitchen island, with the bOos Block maple top, and put their heavy duty casters on it. I will need to provide a spot to put it when not in use, but I have an idea of the east side having two storage closets flanked by a window in the middle. That makes a storage spot for it. They are expensive, but not nearly as costly as a built in unit. A foyer, as this idiot has redrawn it, should never be a narrow corrider. I don't even really care if there is a foyer or not, but unless the kitchen or great room were in a position to make a logical entrance, we may need one. Foyers can also make a logical transition space in which to branch utilitarian rooms off of, but they have to be done just right. i would most likely opt to keep it large and open, and making sure it could double both as entry and a sort of "library" area. We decide that one really nice master bath is what we will do, with the second bathroom close by. An optimal design would place close enough to be convenient to the master, but still convenient to the rest of the house. Most of the time my husband and I don't really have issues with sharing the bathroom, but there are certain times when I'd like more privacy. I saw pictures of glass french doors connecting the master bedroom and bathroom. It was situated where a beautiful bathtub and vanity were in view, along with the windows there, and the toilet and shower, linen closet out of direct view. How the indirect area was arranged, I don't know, but that shouldn't be too difficult to figure out. It evoked a feeling of being on vacation in a serene and luxurious setting. If you were to look at a blank rectangle in front of you, the long side near you is the "front" of the house (east). The other long rectangle that is the "back" is west looking at our woods. This is where we want all the good stuff. The right hand side is north, which is where the driveway will lead to, and my kitchen quadrant. The left side is south, and where the master quadrant is. No point of our property has view of any other homes, and no aspect of it is unattractive. It's just that the backside has the mature oaks, so is a little prettier. At least until I get some other trees going. I have no problem rotating directions of rooms. In other words, the master area can run sideways rather than up and down, IF it worked better with the whole layout that way. I'm thinking where the original "study" was, give or take some rearranging, could be the entry, with laundry area or bathroom or whatever could flank off of. However, the entry could also be into the kitchen area somewhere. We are not formal people. I would like to come up with a neat idea on how to have my large freezer and an extra refrigerator convenient to the kitchen, or even a part of it somehow. I don't want these items stored far from the kitchen ever again. Maybe I need a kitchen entrance where they sit, which then opens right into the kitchen. I don't believe in garbage disposals either. I compost all my scraps. I have two Can 'O Worms vermicomposting bins in the barn. They keep my husband company in his office. I am not going to short change myself on space within the needed areas. With this amount of square footage and no other bedrooms needed, it would be silly to make our bedroom and bathroom, kitchen etc. cramped from the get go. I would actually prefer a 16 by 15 bedroom, so that I could put an old fashioned makeup dressing table in there, and a nice blanket chest. Things that make a room. After living in this small mobile, with a 12 by 12 bedroom, and a king size bed in the middle, I never want to go back to that. If this wasn't temporary, I would be moving out. There is no reason for me to "settle" since we have a clean slate. Though a 32 foot depth on the gable ends is an economical foundation to build, if we need to go a little wider we will do it. Most likely, we can make a satisfactory layout based on the 32 ft depth. I need lots of storage, but not because I got into the habit of hoarding, like many people do. I use everything I own. Some more often than others. My fabric collection is quite extensive, but that's my hobby. I could fill a large 8 by 8 closet with sewing supplies. I have lots of books, all used at various times. There are also various embroidery hoops to my machine, cutting mats, which all need careful storage. many things, like threads, interfacings, stabilizers, can be bought bulk to save money, so that's what I do when I see a good deal. So...I could easily fill space and gave up on trying to cram it in the house and not being satisfied. I decided I was not going to communicate with this most recent designer again. I'm done. There is something wrong with this man. Maybe it is medical. Maybe it is self induced. I don't know and don't care at this point. I've written this off as a $500 loss. I told my husband if I am doing all the work I am certainly not giving this guy a floor plan that he will sell to someone else and profit from. Thank goodness my husband has the Chief Architect software. It appears very tedious and "I" would never be able to figure it out, (also known as no desire to figure it out) but am sure happy he has the knowledge and enjoys computers the way he does. So anyway, I think it best for me not to look at the screwed up plan at all any more. It makes planning a good design impossible. Well, have to run. Have my doctor appointment.

I sure don't feel old enough to have greats....I probably shouldn't have them...but you know kids... My oldest daughter was only 17 when her first son was born. She didn't have anymore until 6 years later. Her oldest son had his first fairly early. I wish he would have waited awhile..but that didn't happen. And I wouldn't wish these sweeties away for anything...I just wish for a good life for them. My oldest daughter is 42 and has three grands.