I thought I did. I seriously thought I married my soulmate. I realized, after marriage, that he is not the good communicator that I thought he was........he was just more of a talker. His whole family is like that, with him being the least like that. There are so many differences between us that I really thought didn't matter because we loved each other so much. The chemistry was unreal. Just a lesson to everyone. Don't ignore the differences. Look at them very closely before marriage and decide whether you can really really live with them. When the chemistry starts to fade away...do you really respect them as a person....their character. I once read............Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half closed after. I think those are wise words!

Phoenix- When I read these words: "I do believe in love and I know that GOD's will will be carried out." I felt compelled to share some of my story, as I lived a very long time wondering about God's will. I met "Dan" 26 years ago. I fell in love, and knew we were meant to be together. We weren't dating exclusively, but were very close. He went to school out of State, and we burned up the phone lines. We kept the post office afloat. He later discovered he had a child from a previous relationship. He married his son's mother, because it was "the right thing to do", despite many protests from many people- I was not one of them. I cried, I questioned God, I prayed...but that wedding still happened. During the next 20 years,we would bump into each other,or talk when one of us was single/separated, but not the other. I never wanted to be TOW as much for my own sake as for his and his wife's.And, since he had been the victim of adultery himself, he never wanted to be TOM. About two months after my last relationship ended, I called Dan on his Birthday, left a voicemail, and left it at that. I knew he had been divorced for about 5 years, but did not know his dating status. He called me back, a day or two later, and once again, we talked for hours. We took my kids to a pizza/arcade restaurant, and talked some more. Over the next few months, I started praying even harder, asking God, "am I crazy?" Everyone warned me that I'd get my heart broken, again. I tried to break things off, over and over. It's too good to be true, blah. Irony-Dan proposed to me on his eldest son's birthday. Shortly after, we were married, in the same church he had gotten married, and I had prayed and cried. Dan is now my DH, and I love him more NOW. Neither of us would take away the blessings of our respective children,but I do wish there hadn't been so much heartache.I quit asking what might have been, and now say what will be, will be. God's delays are not God's denials!

Oooh, ya know, I forgot about Ava. She is such a cutie. I'm sure she has really grown up now. Pics would be great. I remember the tricycle pic - sooo sweet. Funny, everytime I think about getting a camera, I think about all the tips and pics Michael posted. I still don't have the camera, but I have to tell you, the camera he purchased is a hit in so many places. I'm still thinking about it. I wonder if Michael will post some winter scenes too. Michael reminds me of an old friend - the one I traveled with all the time - a good guy with lots of personality and smarts that loved to have fun just living life. You know I've never met Michael, but he really comes across as someone that would add that spark to life just by being there. He seems to have a lot of wisdom and common sense - what you need to get along in this life.

Hi Dotz. I don't know how to answer you. Relationships are complicated enough when I'm one of the two in the relationship (parent/child, spouse/spouse, child/parent, etc.) but being on the "outside" as a SM with biodad/child on one side, and Sdad/child on another side... I just can't hope to ever understand those relationships completely, let alone what may have happened between your dh's kid and him to make their relationship less than ideal. People take out their anger on those they think will still love them despite the issues. Hopefully your skid will realize that dad means more than money and they can have a relationship beyond that later. I think, in my situation, where bio-mom keeps sd from us (by not contacting, etc), we will probably have a tough row to hoe coming up here soon as she becomes a teenager with angst. But, if her parents didn't have issues, the issues with her would be lessened. It's due to the parents setting up expectations that makes the kids resentful. My SD expects to be driven around in posh cars and going to outrageously expensive schools and if her dad doesn't contribute to the lifestyle BM has set up she is resentful. We prefer to place value on good manners, wholesome activities, enjoying being a kid instead of designer outfits for 9 year olds...Oh well... we simply don't have the same values. Having to straddle both value systems is difficult for children. And, outsiders, without all the little cobwebs floating around of past conversations/hurts/angers, can see any situation a lot clearer than the participants. As Sm's, we will never fully understand the nuances. Sooooo... my response Dotz, is just be as supportive of your DH as you can while he goes through this stage with his son. In my experience, my Ex and I have issues my DH could never understand, and my DH loves me, so automatically my Ex is the bad guy... and he hates his Ex, but I do my damnedest not to internalize that. I channel Switzerland. I attempt neutrality. I try to look at all sides, and I try to do it with love. It's far too complicated to figure out their issues. So I'm a cheerleader. Go (broken and taped back together) family of mine!!! win win win!