When you find the solution, consider writing a book about it, publish it and get rich. There are MILLIONS of lonely men and women in your shoes who are looking for a warm body to hold.

There is no 'solution' until you meet someone you click with. Perhaps find a gal-pal to hang out with or volunteer at a center that caters to single people until you meet your man-match.

If you are looking for a man to hang out with, try someplace like the singles sites. The site 'Plenty of Fish.com' comes to mind - it's free. If you aren't too particular, Craigslist.org has LOTS of desperate men to talk to - it's also free and so are the men.

Hang out at your local truck stop for some instant dating - those guys are usually pretty lonely. Get a job in a men's clothing store or farm implement store. Go through your phone book and find places that cater to men, then hang out there. Better still - love yourself enough to enjoy your own company, then you will find someone when you least expect it. Best of luck in the new year!

make peace with your "aloneness". if you think you are lonely now, it is 100 times more lonely to be lonely and married. i have been married for 45 years, this is the first time i have been my own boss and i am loving it. i can spend money without being criticized or frowned at. i can go to lunch by myself or with a friend which i had not done but 3 or 4 times in those 45 years. i have an 80 year old friend that is a newly wed and she me told me, never marry. she looked so unhappy.

Then, again, Genesis (and the rest of the bible) says an incredible number of demonstrably ridiculous things. Recommend against taking it seriously.

Live a good life. Some things work out. Some don't. Being alone is far better than being with someone who ruins your life.

asolo, you are so right. and the financial is something most women don't think about when they remarry. my sis's friend married for a second time and found out he had filed bankruptcy and had unpaid bills, she had to pay them or ruin her credit. everything you own is half his when you say i do. you can sign a prenuptial but it is just a contract and can be broken. i won' even go into "kids". i paid my husband's care home bill for 9 months @ $4,000. plus per month and i didn't mind, it was his money as much as mine, but can't afford to do it again.

Then, again, Genesis (and the rest of the bible) says an incredible number of demonstrably ridiculous things. Recommend against taking it seriously.

Used to take it seriously. Thought that's what I was supposed to do. Then the rug was pulled out from under me when DH abandoned me about 10 years ago after I had spent 25 years praying every night for my marriage.

I think that particular passage is meant for men and not women. I hear of widowers remarrying quickly. I hardly ever hear of widows remarrying.

Live a good life. Some things work out. Some don't.

It's good advice, but an alone life is not a good life. At least for me.

Being alone is far better than being with someone who ruins your life.

Why would anyone be with someone who ruins their life?

Shalom!

"I think that particular passage is meant for men and not women."

Pretty much the entire thing is written for men....and against women. Women, slaves, livestock, other chattel pretty much all the same throughout.

Clear message to women: Give men pleasure and have children. Other than that you have no purpose.

What a strange thread!

Well, not really strange at least to me,...but very real. I was married and have never felt so alone. That's the worse feeling because it really limits you ability to go out and make friends and have fun. Plus, it seems a lot of men are controlling (hmmm...like the "passages" described)?
And to make matters even more difficult-many people are difficult to get to know when you are dating, but once you are married you find out you now have some very BIG Problems with this person you thought you knew. (ex. bills, bankruptcy, and obviously my "favorite" the chronic lier.
NO, once I am out of this relationship and I am working on it-that will be all for me. From now on, they can "visit" and when it's fun-great; when it's not-BYE!
Life is short and you get "old" fast so be happy and enjoy yourself and being by yourself-after all-YOU are the only one you can depend on and ever really know.

Barnmom...

The thread may be "strange" as in "atypical". (Things always get strange when one starts with biblical quotes.)

The subject is common as nails.

good for you Straycat.

It is late and I am not sleepy tonight and I am new to this forum.

Eclair why don't you join a dating service such as Yahoo or Match.com? I know quite a few people that have met their soul mate and married and are now very happy.

For pete's sake don't hang out at a truck stop I imagine the poster was being funny, hopefully. I think you might be offered more than their company.

I am single too and I know it is hard to find the right person. But you may have fun in the process having lunch going to the show just doing things together.

Try not to be bitter about your ex husband and move on and enjoy your life. Believe me he is living his and so should you.

Ciao and good luck.

I LIKE being alone. It seems the older I get the less I feel weird or that I am lacking something just because I don't "pair up".
Sometimes I wonder if the root of marriage and relationships is the biological urge to procreate, and to an extent simply the inertia of societies' expectation of what is "normal".

Some things I find positive about being single:

1.Making my own schedule: waking, sleeping, eating, working, playing, etc.etc. happen when I want.
2.All of my resources are used to my benefit: My time, money,education, belongings,etc.
Many people give up dreams, hobbies, opportunities because relationships and having children takes the resources.
3.I can maintain relationships with friends: I can visit more, and spend more time with friends.
4. I can travel more.
5. I can be messy/noisy whenever I want. Sometimes I just gotta use the kitchen table to fix a computer or do a wood carving. I can play the guitar at 3 in the morning.
6. I can decorate my house the way I want. Every once in a while I see some of these home decorator shows and couples almost always disagree. Generally it's the wife with her cup cozies, pink curtains and catalog "originality" that wins, and the guy's beer cooler and dart board goes in the trash. (If you like pink curtains and cozies, then more power to you)
7. I can let my big goofy lumbering dog in the house.
8. Peace and quiet when I want. No screaming. No "I thought you were gonna paint the so-n-so today?" or "Go to the store with me, you've got to carry all the stuff I'm gonna buy"

I understand loneliness. I have been lonely, but I've also found that putting my happiness into my own hands, rather than looking for someone else to define or fulfill my needs is very liberating.

I too love bein on my.learning to love yourself is the greatest love all .

Widowers remarry because they need someone to take care of them. That is another thing I am leery of. They can be more needy than women.

"Widowers remarry because they need someone to take care of them."

That door swings both ways!

I agree, but usually it is money and support the widows need.

Isn't it funny how the grass is always greener on the other side? And also how when we chase something it is always out of reach but when we stop it sometimes comes right to us?

Quote

I'm about to go pick up one of those men along the side of the road holding up signs just so I won't be alone. Is there any alternative?

End quote

For anyone out there who also feels like this here is some good advice. DON'T trade one issue or aggrevation for another. Picking just anyone will just lead to a different type of heartache. Its better to find a way to be a happy single than to be a miserable couple!

43 never married, haven't had a date in over twelve years. Happy and enjoying life. Relationships are good if you can find the right person but horrible if you don't so don't kid yourself into thinking that having a person to eat with, watch tv with etc. is all that matters because when he or she is getting on your last nerve you will regret throwing away the peacful, non drama filled, blissful single life you had for the idot your matched up with now.

I love this thread, I don't think it is a bit strange, I think it's honest. I agree with most everything said. I get lonely especially when I travel, BUT, I was more lonely married and I couldn't travel as much as I can now. I think the women who commented about the bible are very brave, not one person jumped you for being honest. LOL I agree with you.

Don't use the Bible to justify marrying simply for the purpose of not being alone. When a marriage breaks up, both parties have some healing to do. And almost always both parties have some sort of "fixing" to do. Fixing the problems that contributed to the breakup. No matter who was "at fault" both parties should do some figuring out what kind of changes to make to be a better partner in the future. Way to many people jump into relationships and end up making the same mistakes they made in the past.

I don't NEED to marry or date a man. However, it would be nice to find a relationship that is mutually based on WANT not NEED. Relationships based on want are much healthier.

I feel the same way that the passage was written for a man, everything is done in thought of the man and as many have, I was married for 15 years and he cheated and cheated, producing two children from affairs. I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN. I have found better comfort in not being married and it is true men live longer when they have a mate. But women do much better and live longer without a husband, which mean we don't need men like they would like us to think we do. I have found an independence and have men trying to date me with me and get into a relationship, not, but I am having fun with just not being attached, and I don't men dating or sleeping around, I mean on my own in my own home, can buy my own cars, motorcycle, anything I want and do not have to look for any man to do it. I AM VER HAPPY NOT BEING MARRIED.

Never know, though. Some sympathetic English major might sweep you off your feet tomorrow. Get you all wrapped up in punctuation and grammar before you know it.

Asolo, it is a gloomy day here in NW Florida, but you just brightened it up - THANKS!