Jan, what other words would you use to describe your late mother-in-law, or her interests? For instance, if she enjoying sewing, there's Creative Stitchery. There are dozens with musical titles, even some that link to a favorite artist. One of my kids happens to be here helping with some garden chores today. He said when I'm gone, maybe they can plant "Unstable Gene". Thankfully, I don't think he knows I have an iris named "Wide Hips". Maybe I'll put something in my will about wanting them to plant "Last Laugh". katie

This gift may be especially timely, as Grannie & Grandaddy are having some foundation work done in their apartment (they're in a retirement center), and they are just about at their wits end because of this. Grandaddy told my dad yesterday that, "This is the worst thing that's ever happened to us." And it's not, you know -- but at age 93, everything is magnified about 1,000 times, so the inconvenience of having to pack away some of their breakables and allow workmen into their home is sending them both into a tizzy. Nerves are frayed, instructions are being misunderstood, and my poor dad's trying to help them keep it all together ... trying to soothe them, and let them know it's not a huge deal -- "this too shall pass." It's hard for him, because G&G have reverted to being very childlike in many ways (displaying those characteristics big time these past few days!) -- and dad fights to keep his patience with them. Anyway - I said all of that to say that the memory jar and beautiful poem probably couldn't have come at a better time for them. They desperately are needing something positive and loving to cling to right now, and I am sure that this will fill that requirement beautifully.

The structure of families and also of neighborhoods has changed so much over the course of our boomer lives. When we were young uns' most of our mothers were home. That is not a political statement or judgement. It is simply a true fact. That meant that the kids were not in day care, after school care, or locked in the house because no one was at home for them. And, of course we had none of these distractions of video games and .unlimited electronic entertainment . We had to find our own things to do and other kids to do them with. The world changed. I really do think that the changes in family structure have occured so quickly and so many other factors around that structure are still modeled after the past., starting with the structure of the school year. That old agrarian schedule has been obsolete for generations. We also need public schools to step up and offer more , do better and be a real part of the community. I am not going to hold my breath until that happnes, because it just is not going to . The world is spiraling down a hole and we are all beginning to ride the swirl. I am not optimistic, at all. I fear for my grandchildren. The political and environmental horrors that they face are the stuff of bad movies and night mares and history books. Clearly a dystopian and apocalyptic future is in the cards for them to deal with. We can never return to that innocence. Our childhoods were some of the best in human history. Historically, childhood has been something that one was lucky to have survived. In some parts of the world, it still is. Our depression era parents were on a mission to make our lives better than theirs. Our childhood was unlike any before it. We may have had to walk to school through snow drifts (true, for me) but we had a progressive society that gave us bright horizons, despite the Viet Nam war. I fear that my grand children's country will be one of oppression and hardship, a diseased democracy and a dying and diseased environment. Our child hood was not the norm for most of humanity. Healthy, happy children smiling from the back of a shiny fossil fueled vehicle going down the smoothley paved road of a civil suburbia is a thing of the past and you will be arrested for letting your kids ride like that, even if it is just in the neighborhood. However, for each of those happy points and bits of nostalgia one could find and list, something that was very wrong with it all. Life was not perfect but we were, collectively, some of the most fortunate children ever. We also got vaccinations against the childhood diseases that effected so many and led to such a high child mortality in the past. Several instances in my family history where they lost children to typhoid and other common deadly diseases. One generation on the tree lost all but one child in the wake of typhoid. The mother also died. All at home in the course of a few days, in Michigan. This was not uncommon. But, we never faced diseases that spread like that. We had an enchanted life, collectively, and over all. Sure, there are individual stories that contradict that, but that is always going to be so. It was not all warm fuzzies for everyone.

Avoid furniture made of particle board - be sure all the pieces you buy are solid wood - solid pieces of wood, not solid wood chips with lots of glue. The off-gassing of the glue in the particle board is toxic! Also, avoid synthetic bedding in any piece you buy - use 100% cotton and 100% cotton fill in quilts, or wool blankets. And avoid polyester foam synthetic pillows - use down or latex/rubber. Polyester is plastic and off-gasses, and adds micro-plastic to the rivers and therefore our water supply when washed. Or have custom bedspreads and quilts made - use cotton or linen. And if you want to avoid toxic off-gassing for your kids health - do not buy traditional mattresses - buy 100% natural foam rubber from rubber-trees in cotton & wool coverings. latexforless.com is a great place to get great beds for reasonable prices. Traditional beds have all kinds of fire-retardant material that actual burns very fast and is toxic for the first 20 years of use (all the time you own it!). And of course carpet off-gasses for the first 10-20 years, so you do not want that in a room that anyone sleeps in - it is important to not have toxins or allergens in sleeping rooms - for some reason it is worse there than in other non-sleeping rooms. And use Zero VOC paint and do not sleep in the room for a week or so. Hope this helps you create a healthy room for your kids - healthy non-toxic items are more important that layout or color, etc.