Okay, I've been reading this thread and not responding to it b/c I don't want to have it come out wrong. I can't keep quiet any longer. I agree with many statements above. I would like to say these things: If you haven't already filed bankruptcy-DON'T do it. Your husband is like a child and you are not teaching him any good sound financial responsibility by bailing him out all the time. You've bailed him out 2x already and then signed for a loan for someone who has no credibility. Doesn't pay bills and loves to spend....HELLO that was not a smart move but you have to move ahead...can't look back. You guys created these debts you have to pay them. Your biggest expense next to your mortgage is your student loans....in almost all cases they can't be discharged. So you will still end up having to pay that. You've already stated you need your cars, so you'd be keeping those. You have to pay back your 401k loan...So basically you'd be trying to file off your 60k in CC and your SBA loan? Good luck.....you are going to ruin your credit....for a very long time IF you even get your bankruptcy granted with the new laws, you still may have to pay some of that back. What happens if you file and then have poor credit, no credit cards and then your water heater goes, or your furnace? You have no cards to pay it, no savings to pay it and no money to pay it. So you skip car payments to pay it then can't catch up and car gets repo'd and you have no way to work, lose your job, lose your house. Sounds extreme but it could happen. There are lots of people that are ONE crisis away from poverty and homelessness. I would set a budget, stick to it. Kick DH a$$.....if he's a photographer, start going to bridal shows get some clients offer better package pricing. Brides are bargain shoppers, if you have the best price and great photos you are hired. Hit the road and take photos of things when he isn't working. Enter photo contests w/cash prizes. Put your name out there. Free advertising is everywhere!!!! Stop crying over it and FIX IT!!!! Also, if you can sell stuff.....like 10 chairs to buy 4...then be smarter with the money. Sell 6 keep 4 and pay some bills. Take ALL the cards away from DH and give him a weekly allowance and that's it. If he's unhappy with that let him know that he did it to himself and needs to learn the hard way. Money doesn't grow on trees and the credit tree just got cut down. NO MORE MONEY......no more excuses. You made these bills now you have to lay in the "bed of bills" for a while. Once you recover from this you will feel a sense of relief and feel like a better person that you "took the bill by the horns" and paid everything down. You did the right thing and not the easy way out. Anyway, I'm all fired up, I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive. It's time to put your husband in his place and if he's not on board then he's got to find someone else to take advantage of financially b/c it's not gonna be you.

It took your follow-up comment and reading back and forth a couple times to see what you were saying. At first it looked like you were saying spare me the friends that said they couldn't afford it and I was going WTH?? Can't be! And wasn't. Weddings. What more can I say about them. Opulence on par with the reality of a "reality show". The cost of a dress is silly. Tradition used to be that the groomsmen were expected to pick up the tab for the groom's tux. And instead of the bridesmaids buying the bride's dress, they buy dresses that'll never be worn in public again! Nowadays, it's rent 7 tuxes and the groom gets his for "free". Yeah, right, "free"! Give me a freakin break. And in exchange for this the groom gives each tux renter a keyring or some other useless, yet overpriced trinket that'll never be used. Maybe instead of spending $25 or $50 on each of the keyrings he could pay for his own tux! There was the other thread about how much to give. It occurred to me that maybe it should be based on how fiscally responsible the people are. If they have a wedding where the wedding party can wear attire that can be used again, kick in a bit more since they suggest they will be more responsible. If they go for the limos, ugly dresses & tuxes, can they handle my money? Maybe they should get less. LOL

Thank you for puting giving food in perspective. I to have wondered who eats much of the food donated. You cannot imagine how much donated food is tossed due to past due dates, and the particular product. After all, how many people who really need food, need a can of sardines, chili peppers, etc. Food banks are also given large amounts of donated foods from their main resourse and again much of that is outdated by months and even years.

The Canada Revenue Agency wants each of our charitable receipts ... and each year I photocopy the ones for which the agencies did not send duplicates, in case there's a question later. Largely through charitable contributions, and some political ones, along with other credits and deductions, I was able to reduce my Federal income tax liability last year to zero, and Provincial to well under $1,000.00. It's important to learn not only how the money system works ... but the tax system, as well. ole joyful