Susan and Mari, Thank you both so much for responding. I truly appreciate your suggestions. Carol is on disability for arm and neck problems caused by working some years ago. Before Mike died she took on babysitting two small kids which she is still doing TG. That has enabled her too keep her apartment and her bills paid. She is a very responsible person. (I am a bit worried about the kids being there now though after seeing her place) Carol also has a son and his wife that just live down the street and they are with her alot (early 20's). They've gotten in a regular Sunday night routine of taking her with them when they go bowling on their league and then out to dinner. She enjoys that. Carol also has a cat that is her fur-kid and keeps her company. There are lots of neighbors and friends around her daily that she visits with. She did tell me that a few of the other ladies have offered to help her clean but she told me that she was embarassed to have them help. She didn't want them going through her things......but it would be okay if I were to help her. She often talks about the day in the future that her son will make her a grandmother. She looks forward to that. I just don't understand that she seems to be doing well and saying all of the right things but in reality she is dying inside and doesn't care. I have never lost a partner/hubby.....heck I've never gotten that close to anyone so I don't know how one would really feel. I know how it feels to lose siblings but does the loss feel even greater if it's a spouse? I will try to find a grief support group locally for her and maybe go with her a few times to get her feet wet. I also think that I could get her doctor information from her son and maybe give him a call and see if he can help or just what his thoughts are and go from there. I don't think that there is a teaching hospital near us but thank you so much Mari for all of the great suggestions. I will start looking into some of the local resources and see if I can get some help for her. I really am surprised that a few of her friends didn't let me in on this. Maybe they haven't noticed.....although just being in her apt it would be hard not too. Carol does have a tough exterior also and maybe she's been telling the others what they wanted to hear too. I just don't know. I came here asking for some advice and I did get some wonderful suggestions. Thank you both so much! Hugs to you, Patti2 PS: Something else that I forgot to mention.... She has personally lost quite a few people this year including her father. They were fairly close and she watched him die a horrible death just a few months ago. Two of her aunts died this year (not very close), her ex-father-in-law (kind of close) and a few aquaintences. She has been through a very tough time this year.

I so agree with lone piper....When i first started seeing my SO, I had a question why he waits so long for me to meet his grown kids? And I remember sylvia said: this man lacks commitment for you, didn't recover from his divorce and has no concern for meeting your emotional needs. three years past, things changed but the issue is still there, there is still lack of commitment, still not over his divorce and still disregard of my needs... Sylvia knows what she says...it is tough to listen sometimes... She is great!

Granlan, remember to keep all receipts for everything you replace. Also keep track of your time involved for cleaning up the place, running around doing things involved in it, and document when you do things like file police reports, notify the bank, etc. You should also notify the credit bureaus especially if they got anything with your SS # or the like on it. DOUBLE CHECK CREDIT CARDS! Make sure they're all there! Did they get any bank statements, credit card statements or the like? That can cause trouble. Definitely use caution. You might want to talk to the CC companies and if you're in doubt, close the cards and reopen them with a different # (the card companies will do this) to avoid trouble. I really know the frustration. I remember a month after my break-in when I went to get my electric drill.... and it wasn't there. And I didn't know it until then. Really sad to lose heirlooms and personal things that are irreplaceable. Best wishes to you and best thoughts your way. Here's hoping the slimeballs get what they deserve. Much pain and sorrow.

The one thing that is set in stone is engraved shot glasses for my friends wedding. Actually more straight sided so they fit tea lights. Over-ordering so they will be used for veggie cups, probably a chocolate mouse for the 'cake' tier, and table lighting...possibly a gazpacho. They want enough for all to take home a few. No cake. A big tiered affair we are making. Petit fours, various chocolates, mini this and that...massive amount. (we are making the tier) another friend is making and organizing all the sweets. We did a no-no list. No heating or re-heating on site. All fresh do-ahead. No pineapple, no mayo, (except fabanaise), No melon baller, lol. No dips, no bagels, no humus. No charcuterie platters. Yes to mini scones. Maybe to mini frittata. No dance floor, loud music or band. Friends will bring instruments for impromptu music and a few good singers among us. (later around sunset bonfire) A few toothpick items...caprese, watermelon/fetta/cucumber/olive, (square). One all fruit and one all veg/fruit. They want all squares or triangles. Classic crustless tea sandwiches. And probably a club and a pastrami, cubed and toothpicked. For kids, chocolate almond butter and jelly, honeyed cream cheese and Nutella on raisin bread, (so good). Maybe a pinwheel or two. I'm making spring rolls. One rectangle table for tea/coffee tea at two pm. Tea sandwiches, etc. One rectangle table other side of tent for misc veg snacks One round table for 'cake' and misc sweets 3 round tables for sit down, lots of extra chairs service at five pm 2 food stylist/caterers early to prep, (they are fast and precise)...they leave around 2-3pm but will make soup and salads before they leave. Salad in small white Chinese take-out containers. Big kitchen island for prep and oven/stove can be used but trying to avoid too much of that. Everything at the same location/waterfront. A friends home but stipulation was a tent and an executive port-a-let...very nice one. After service not decided. Probably a small catered Bbq/clam bake/bonfire Fhew, first time I wrote that out. I've been doing shopping lists and loose budgeting.... Oh, they booked and paid for 20 rooms at a great spot nearby for mostly flight travelers and will host an open bar after party there. Invited 110, probably final tally will be 85-90