We worked together before retirement. We've been together 24/7 since '91. Maybe you can find interests outside the house. I would be interested in quilting, night school. Would something like that be an option for you?

I do have interests of my own and I am sure I can meet people in a new place. It is just that I realized that I had a little fantasy going on in my head that has no basis in reality. I imagined my husband taking walks with me, joining a senior center with me etc., and that just isn't going to happen. When we were young and before we had children, we were sufficient unto ourselves and friends were a bonus. It's not going to be like that again. We will be empty nesters in about six months and I have to realize that doesn't mean my DH will suddenly start speaking to me or eating with me or going anywhere with me. I have a good base of friends where I am and maybe I shouldn't disturb that.

Devorah,

After he retires, will your husband have each and every hour of each and every day crammed full of stuff to do?

After a short while of running around kicking up their heels and getting a lot of the stuff done that they'd been looking forward for years to doing ...

... some freshly-minted retirees ...

... sit around and get bored.

Some wives get fed up (well, frustrated) with hubs spending quite a lot of time around the house. They were used to having the house to themselves (for most of the day).

When I talked to folks in seminars about retirement, I suggested that some men, used to being involved in many things, take to following their wives about the house, suggesting that if she were to do such and such a task in a little different way, it would be easier, take less time, be more efficient, etc.

But that it might not be a god idea to follow that practice if there were a gun in the house.

Or a baseball bat.

Also said that Tom retired one day, and next morning was sitting in his favourite chair, reading the paper.

After a few minutes, he put the paper down and looked around.

Picked it up again and read a while longer, then put it down again and looked around.

After about five times of this, Marje says, "Something wrong"?

"Where's breakfast?", asks Tom.

Marje replies, "You retired yesterday, didn't you?"

"Yes," says Tom, "What's that got to do with anything?"

"So did I", says Marje, sweetly.

After Tom contemplates that answer for a moment or two, Marje continues, "I'll tell you what - I'll get breakfast now, and after breakfast is over, we'll sit down to discuss who's going to do what around here. How does that grab you?"

We don't have record of Tom's reply.

But this story seemed to receive a more positive response from the female portion of the audience than from their counterparts.

Are there some interests of his in which you might develop an interest?

Some of yours that might interest him, when he has more time on his hands?

Perhaps you can develop some new paths that might be of interest to you both, when he isn't burdened by work any longer. Paid employment, that is - I realize that he's not the only one that works around your house, now.

Good wishes to you both for a blessed New Year.

ole joyful

I don't know the answer for you, but I must say that I've never understood why people move away from the networks of family, friends, doctors, business people, etc. that they've built up over a lifetime just when they may be needing these people most.

Better weather wouldn't be nearly enough to make me leave my friends and family.

I know of one (1) couple that moved for his health. He'd had an accident years ago and found the winters to be painful. Since they moved south, he's better. They miss their family but he feels much, much better on a daily basis. I also know several couples that have moved back to be by family.

If you're considering moving to a different place, probably a good diea to go there and rent for a year before buying - one might get a different view of things.

As Dad used to say about cattle, "Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence".

ole joyful

Listen by the time you are retired you will not be wanting him under your feet all the time...I or maybe I should say we....are just loving retirement...we hope to have enough healthy years to actually get to enjoy a large portion of our after retirement...It's like learning to live together all over again and sometimes it can get ugly..LOL) really joking but it isn't easy when you are used to being alone much of the time...We love being retired and we love the life we are leading at the moment...we have even built a home so you know we have managed to work it out...