difference of opinion on use of retirement savings
13 years ago
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- 13 years ago
- 13 years ago
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Mom with MS and no retirement saved plus cheap brother
Comments (13)You need to check your LOCAL laws for permit requirements. Every municipality is different and you are wasting time asking strangers on the Net. Until you know what your local laws and zoning codes permit, it is again a waste of time to draw up any plans. Investigate modular housing and how your local codes handle these types. Also investigate manufactured (mobile) homes; if your local codes allow, it is the fastest and cheapest housing you can find. Make a ramp to go up to the front door for accessibility, or create room for a chair lift off a front porch. You also need to talk to Social Security or at least start reading their website. When and if your mother becomes disabled, disability might pay her more than SS might. Also, you need to become aware of the Medicaid asset limits and how they would apply to your parents. Most (80%)nursing home residents are there under Medicaid. However, any home health services used prior to failing the 3-ADL definition of disability; e.g., before she becomes disabled from MS, must be paid by the person/family's own funds (Medicare nor Medicaid never pays for home health care except under very limited circumstances). It is a great shame your brother is being so uncooperative. You need to start getting Power of Attorney and a Durable healthcare Power of Attorney on both your mom and dad immediately. Good luck and keep notes! Your brother may very well turn into a problem down the road, and you need to be thoroughly documented on any actions you take on your parents' behalf....See MoreWould like opinions owner looking for dog church saved
Comments (11)I'm sorry that trying to do a good deed has left you in this predicament. It sounds like you may not have been privy to what the vet said when he/she examined the dog. Did the woman who took the dog in share the details? Why I am asking is that I rescued a kitten from my front flower bed many years ago and she was lame in one of her front legs. When I took her in to the vet, he said she had brachial palsy. It's an injury an animal can get when the nerves of its brachial plexus is harmed in the birth process or even before. Short of really specialist nerve surgery with questionable outcomes there is nothing they can do for it other than hope the function returns on its own and my vet says nerve repair is very slow and he'd recommend 'sitting on it' to see if it doesn't start to heal on its own, reserving amputation as a last resort. He casted her leg but she kept getting repeat infections where the nails would grown into her flesh under the cast and eventually we had to amputate. Had she not had this problem just letting it dangle was an option. There is a chance this might have been the circumstances of this dog's leg, and if he was not used to being outside, three or four days of wandering is enough time for injuries, infections and tissue death to start. A vet should be able to ascertain how old those injuries are, however and probably a tech could as well. And how many really responsible and caring pet owners have raised questions on this board about skin conditions their dogs have and are resistant to treatment? I had a little lhasa whom I poured months and mega money into with horrible skin problems until my vet hit on the proper diagnoses and treated him with antibiotics. It was a resistant bacterial infection and had nothing to do with fleas or flea allergies or neglect. You don't know the circumstances. I know what I would do and it's a pity the new owner doesn't do it, and that is to contact the party who lost this dog, and tell them she has it and that she has already invested expenses into caring for it. If the new owner is so convinced that the dog had been abused then she should contact a humane officer and let them persue the issue or let her hash it out herself with the previous owners. Somebody needs to tell the people searching for this dog that it has been found and be upfront about it and they need to know its where it can be found and it doesn't have to be anonymously. The person who took this animal has been around long enough to know the routine and take responsibility for their actions even if they were legitimate and for all the right reasons. You don't need to feel guilty about finding it a home, nor obliged to the woman who took it in. But it isn't fair to the owners to never know what happened to it. If you got a flyer in your mail box then they are actively looking for it and they wouldn't be if it isn't valuable or they didn't give a flying fig. Tell them where you took it and let the lady who has it do what she feels is right. There isn't any need to be secretive to avoid anything. What is right isn't always what is easiest. If she can prove the animal has been abused or neglected, the authorities can sort it out....See MoreWhat is the Point - Saving for Retirement?
Comments (42)Both of my grandparents stayed at home until they were in their late 80's and then Mama had no choice but to put them into a nursing home. My GF lived about 3 years after and my GM is still living. She turned 100 in Sept. She has very good care and is the favorite in the home. She has a double room and has been lucky for the most part about room-mates but she has had a couple that were a chore to deal with. When they retired they had a substantial amount of savings and their home with a few acres of land. We hired one of the home health aides to come spend the night with them for a few months but were paying out about $300 a week and all she was doing was sleeping there. Anyway now my GM has been in the home for about 13 years and all of her money is gone. She gets $30 a month and goes to the beauty shop in the home once a week and the family pays for her TV and phone and any other things she needs. Her money was building up in her account and they told my sister that we needed to spend some of it because she wasn't allowed to have but a certain amount and she was over the limit. Family members moved into their home for a few years and then when it was vacated we sold it and the money went to the home. We had no problem with that. They've taken good care of her and know they will continue to. The main point is that people save their money for their old age and then when they get their and need it for health care the other family members often think it should be theirs. Yes, we've paid taxes most of our lives but nobody can live on the amount of taxes you pay in for a month. Probably the best solution would be to go back to many years ago where extended families just built onto the family home and the kids stayed after marriage and were there to help care for the elderly family members (great-grandparents) and the grandparents are there to baby sit for the grandchildren. Thus cutting out a lot of expenses. Of course we've gone away from this custom for too many years for most to want to do it. G'nite John-Boy! lol Nancy...See MoreUsing Different Criteria When Shopping for Future Retirement Home
Comments (26)"Sadly, our current home meets 90% of the requirements in your suggestions: one story, easy access, plenty lighting both indoor and outdoor, wide hallway & door way, wide space in the kitchen, all 3 bathrooms designed for aging...etc. We love our neighborhood. It seems we do not have sufficient reasons to move if it is not because the house and yard are too large for us." Do you want to move, or do you think you should move just because you're aging. If you love the neighborhood, love the house and it's designed for aging, there's really not a big argument in favor of moving. As someone above suggested, can always hire out the lawn work, and if you think the house is too big for you, just close off some rooms, leave them empty or use them for storage, that way you won't have to clean them, and you can shut off the vents to conserve air conditioning costs (heck, a lot of people do just that with a basement...). Not a big deal in my book. Filling in a pool would probably cost less money than paying a commission on the sale of your house combined with closing costs on a new house and the other associated costs with a new house (paint/decorating, minor repairs, etc). DH and I did think about the ability to age in place when we purchased our current house, although not to the extent of the some of the suggestions above (which are great and definitely things to think about down the road - our house is adaptable to a lot of the above). I had a tri-level for a long time, and we were adamant about a ranch. Period. I didn't care about a basement, but DH wanted a basement - man-cave and all that. We did think about ability to access necessities (grocer, drugstore, etc) when we're older and driving becomes more difficult. But, I wonder if that even matters -- in the next 10-15 years or so (if that) self-driving cars will be the norm, so if you're not at the point now where you can't see yourself driving in the next 10 or so years I wouldn't worry about transportation as a criteria for housing for seniors....See More- 13 years ago
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