I can't seem to get enough of my adult children and grands either. I miss them terribly.

I feel the same way Rose. Then I have to count my blessings and I guess I don't have it so bad.

You aren't alone. I think this is common as we "get up in our years".

Rose- your message is touching my heart. I'm sorry you're feeling this way and I wish I knew some magic words to cheer you up. I just hope it gets easier in the days ahead. Right now my adult children are fairly close but I dread when their jobs or marriages take them and I just hope it's not too far. I guess it's something many of us have to live with. Wishing you well.

I am sorry for your losses and sad events - your feelings are perfectly normal - it's time to indulge yourself - this calls for CHOCOLATE and a body massage!

Rose, I understand your feelings. Please try to count your blessings. When I get down, I always remember the old saying, "I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet."

I wish I had children even 3,000 miles away. My only child is gone, but I'm blessed in that he left me two terrific grandsons, and lots of memories. And I know there are people who have no family.

Think back to where you were a couple of years ago, and compare today to then. That should put a smile on your face. Hugs...now go get that chocolate!

I know how you feel.

My only child lives now in Phoenix Arizona...I live in Panama City Florida. That is 3 whole days of driving away from me.
I really wish she lived closer, I miss her terribly.

Deb

I know I'm not the same person I would've been had my children lived closer over the past many years, plus I would've had a chance to actually know my grands and great grands and them me.

Granlan hugs to you, (((Rose))), and wishes for more of those easier days for you and yours.

I too wish our children lived closer, but they have to live where they can make a decent living. We don't get to visit as often as we would like, and that sometimes makes me sad. We don't get to watch our grandbabies grow up except through photos and phone calls mostly. We could have chosen to live in Florida, but really did not want to move from one metro area to another metro area. So, we had to make that decision and live with it.

So, please pass that chocolate, and lets get ourselves off for a wonderful spa treatment.

Helen

I understand what your feeling. Especially with your 'baby' leaving the nest, and moving so far away. (((Rosemary))). That is when I started doing my genealogy. It took my mind off of my sadness.
Leslie

Oh Rose, you are making me cry again. I went down to my momm's and just cried last night because I feel like everything is falling apart. On top of some other things that have been going on, my daughter, on Wednesday, got her license, then got in a car accident later the same day. It wasn't because of carelessness. She was waiting to make a left hand turn and somebody coming the opposite way waved her to go ahead in front of him, and then somebody came flying up in the next lane and hit her. Of all things, I never thought to tell her not to trust someone that waves her through, to always look...but it's too late now, so she has learned a rough lesson. Thank God she was not hurt, but our money is tight and we have to come up with the deductible plus our insurance is REALLY going to go up now, not just the amount I was expecting for adding a teen driver. And, she is carrying a huge amount of guilt, too. I asked my mom last night "can't we ever just have a long stretch of everything going right?" Things have got to get better. I'm determined.
Lots of hugs Rose.
Tammy

(((Hugs))) to you ;o) You're so fortunate to have a wonderful relationship with your kids. Even though they're living miles away, you're close to them. Think how hard it musat be for those parents who have children that live close by but have little or no contact with them.
Even though you're feeling blue, count your blessings (instead of sheep LOL).

(((Rose)))

Donna (^_^)

I'm so sorry that you are feeling sad. Hopefully, this, too shall pass and there will be brighter days ahead.

Phyllis

Hugs to you Rose and all the others that their children are so far away. I am very fortunate my four children are all only about ten minutes or less away from me. Try to keep busy with things and the time will pass. Again more hugs to you.

Sue

I'm so sorry things are rough right now, Rose. My kids are far away too. I'm in the Michigan UP and my son is in Rochester, MN (8 1/2 hours away) and my daughter just moved from Tulsa, OK, to Havre de Grace, MD. It was 23+ hours to Tulsa and who knows how many to Havre de Grace. The best things I can suggest are to keep in touch often by phone, by email, maybe through an online site (many of my family members are on Facebook and we keep up with the little things in each other's lives that way), and also one of my friends uses a video cam to visit with her kids (one of whom is in Ecuador) on line.

Hang in there. I hope things get better really soon.

Hang in there, Rose. I am lucky to have mine close by. All 3 live with 35 minutes from us. I know someday it will probably change somewhat. I try to keep in mind they have to go where they can support their families. It doesn't make it any easier but it seems to be our way of life these days. Time will help a little and hopefully you can keep in touch often by phone and such.

It seems funny now to me because I was the only one out of my family that moved away when I got married. I can say it was not as bad as I had thought it might be. We had 3 kids and now we are 42 yeras down the road. I did wish at time I could have loaded the kids in the car and went for the day but that was just not possible. It was just part of our lives.

I hope every day gets a little easier for you. Sometimes it does seem like things just pile on all at once. Things will get better..

Susie

Rose, I know how you feel. you have "The Empty Nest Synd" I've had it for years. My children live close by and I talk to them during the week but I'm still lonely.

I too don't care for the empty nest situation, and neither does DH. Our three went to college several hours away, and then jobs farther away. Time has passed, we have kept their rooms ready for visits, and now our two oldest live within an hour's drive. The oldest is our only DD, and she is a SAHM and has a 2 1/2 year old and another baby on the way. When her DH travels, she brings our grandson for a nice visit. We see them more now than we have for years. Even our youngest, who lives on the other coast, often comes to stay for a week as his vacation, and then his siblings try to come down to see him while he is here too. So things have definitely improved as time has passed. Hope they do for you too.

Sure, some people have easier lives than others, but you can be satisfied with the cards you are dealt with the acceptance of God's love and grace. Knowing He is there with you through it all.

Do you work full-time? If not, consider helping out in the schools. I'm still a sahm with one left in high school, one graduating from college tomorrow, and one junior-to-be in college, and I'm definitely feeling the Syndrome. I volunteer once a week at a school and those little kiddies do me a world of good, especially when I'm feeling sad. When I go back to work, (if dd3 ever learns to drive!) I plan on doing something in the schools, if any jobs exist by then. (I'm in California which seems to be quickly going broke.) When you're with kids for a length of time, it's great to go home and relax!

Rosemary...you are just the emotional type...We have been through all the different aspects of your life with you and you are a cry baby. Now before everyone gets up in arms at me calling her a cry baby...what I mean is that you are just a very emotional person and tears seem to be a manner of relief for you. We all learn to live without our children and go on to bigger and better things and we all have issues that we have to learn to deal with. Before you know it, you will be appreciating the fact that you don't have the responsibility of children any more. Just because she lives 3000 miles away doesn't mean you are not going to be able to spend time with her. Pretty soon, you will find that she or they will have a life of their own and less and less time to spend with you. You have a new life and lots to look forward too so I hope you can get yourself together and as you said, start counting your blessings.

I have had a very easy life. My health has been good and I've never had to work except for 2 1/2 years while I was single. I also had two good husbands. Well the first one wasn't faithful, but he was such fun to be with. Warm, loving and only wanted to please me and was easy to live with. The second one loved me very much, he was faithful and generous, but he had his faults just like everyone does. He let me travel to far away places without putting up a fuss and he signed his pension over to me when he retired. I was the treasurer in both marriages and I am enjoying the benefits of the decisions I made and the paychecks they turned over to me.

I am enjoying the peace of being alone

Rosemaryt; I'm sorry you are hurting and are so sad right now.

I don't have children, but I can understand missing family and friends. Living a semi-nomadic lifestyle, and being in the military for so long and marrying so late, I've left bits and pieces of my heart around the globe.

No matter how much we miss people being nearby, the love does not end and we're so fortunate to have ways to stay in close contact with them, no matter where they go.

I know that doesn't help your sadness, and the empty-nest feeling, but please know you're not alone, and many people understand.

I do know the sadness will ease and you will feel better.

The key to being happy with an empty nest is to keep busy. When I moved to Iowa from CA almost 4 years ago, I didn't know a soul in this city. I got a job, joined a church and two Red Hat groups and volunteered here and there. My DS stayed in CA and I saw him twice a year. DS has recently moved here and I am happy to have him close by but I still have my own life to lead. My mom always seemed so unhappy after I left home and my dad died. She never got the concept of leading a life of her own. I vowed never to be like her.

Rose.....keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Life is difficult at times.
In 1994 both my kids called within a week of each other to tell me they were moving far away. DD was moving to Oahu and DS was moving to Tokyo. They left within a month of each other. It was so hard but knowing I had raised them to be independent adults helped.
My son moved back to NYC in 2000 and DD moved back to California the year before. Then DS and wife moved back to Tokyo.
We recently got together in Oahu for a week. It was so good to see him and to meet our granddaughter for the first time. Seeing DDIL again made me appreciate her even more. My grandson, whom I hadn't seen for a year, was a delight and we had so much fun. They are moving back to NYC within the next month or two. I am happy for me but sad for DDIL who has family in Japan but will be far away from both families in NYC.
Life is filled with challenges and facing them will make us stronger, even though it is painful to endure.
Look for the rainbow thru your tears.

hey jel48...just looked up the drive...it isn't that bad...just about the same distance give or take 100 miles...and how exciting to visit all the historical places...from detroit, i swear it was a long day (10-12hr?) drive to dc for dd when she went there on vacation...

You should be proud that you raised independent kids!! Kids go off to live their own lives- there is much for them to see and experience.
Hopefully this is just a 'down' day for you, realizing that your little one has grown up. There are different phases of life- being a child, growing up, getting married (if you choose), working hard, raising chilfren, retirement, easing out of life. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you- how about 'doing' for other people instead of crying? It will make you feel better.
I am sure you did a wonderful job of raising your flock- let them go and spread their wings now- you don't want to make them feel guilty about moving away!!
Church Sunday School? The local schools- it is summertime and there are summer programs that need help! What are your best skills- sewing, reading, sciences, math- oh my- there is so much you can do to help others!!
Don't just sit around and be sad for yourself- that only makes you feel worse!
I hope your days are better!

Oh rosemary, I am so sorry you are down. But just remember it is only a downer for a while, things will look better soon. I am lucky enough to have my kids close by, but with that being said, I also give them their space. We talk often, but can go a long time not seeing them. I know they have there own lives, and are happy, so you have to know that you have done your job well.
It really is amazing to see that your children have become independent and caring adults. That is what we always want as a parent.
As I age, I have a lot of time to reflect back on things, some I would rather not remember, but most are the reason I am certain that I did what I was put here on earth to do.
So feel proud of yourself and all of your accomplishments my friend.

Trin

This morning's newspaper carried a death notice for one of the boys my DH coached in Little League. He was 39, a year older than our DS.

I'm sorry you are sad and missing your kids, but...you *have* them, and they have you. I bet they'd rather not have a weepy mom. I'm sure they don't want to feel responsible for your tears by going out and living their lives.

If you are often 'down', as someone mentioned, have you talked to your doctor about it? Sometimes it's something physical that's contributing to your feelings.

As for some people having easier lives...I think anyone who does not have money pressures has a better chance at living 'easier'. Money doesn't guarantee happiness, but having enough is better than not having enough.