I was not arrested for felonious behavior! and it's all behind me for the time being. I am enjoying a glass of Pinot Grigio. My brother was effectively "beside himself" when I arrived at his home; I knew because he was puttering around making up flashing for his garage... . I asked him what he thought was going to "go down" and we decided our strategy would be to let them direct things and interject when the opportunities arose. They were pretty much stunned when I walked into the room, a lot of sideways glances at each other. :) (wimpy handshakes, too... didn't look me in the eyes). Meeting started with a discussion of how disruptive Mum has been in the past two weeks; I asked for details of the "events" and asked who had witnessed them. Details were scarce. I asked about the time of day they occured; typically late afternoon... "sun downers"? yes, suspected. They asked US what they were going to do? I suggested using the "scientific method" and begin by checking the basics... "how much water is Mum drinking daily?" didn't know. "She must have 48 oz./day to maintain adequate hydration and keep her neo-bladder and the requisite urinary pouch from becoming a breeding ground for UTIs"; we measure fluids in cc s. "Don't you have a conversion chart? I'm sure you could download one in a few seconds... "; silence. "What has the stoma nurse at the medical facility next door had to offer?"; we didn't call her, we didn't think it was necessary. "You didn't think it might be a good idea to establish a rapport with a stoma nurse NEXT DOOR when you clearly had no practical experience with urostomies and were unable to adequately change the appliance for the better part a month? If I may be so blunt, that seems like common sense to me. Moreover, my mother has had 2 UTIs in 4 months, she has 1 in 39 mos. with me, and brought that one home from a rehab. center.". Embarrassed silence, during which time I presented the nurse with a ton of literature on urostomies from Conva Tec, as well as their hotline number, a contact name, AND the name of the area Conva Tec representative (all are very well trained). We asked about exercise, fresh air, outings... minimal. Not surprising. The the head administrator and director of nursing arrived shortly thereafter. The admin. guy "strongly" objected to our blunt assessment of their ability to manage an urostomy patient. "Well, the proof of the pudding is in the eating... the reality IS that your facility utterly failed to provide the most basic adherence to the fundamentals. I don't want to hear any more about your credentials... I want to see you start using them.". I suspect they don't often get legal guardians like my brother and me. Upshot? the replacement hearing aids, increased hydration, and greater attention to the fundamentals of urostomy care, as well as increased exercise OUTDOORS are to be the focus of the new "program" for the short term. It was made very clear to them that medicating a elderly woman "livn' in her own private Idaho" WASN'T going to be the first option. Not when they'd failed so utterly and miserably on the very points of concern my brother raised repeatedly before admitting Mum. Then we talked about the hearing aids and the "loss" of Mum's personal property. And it was made perfectly clear that the missing items are to be replaced in a timely manner and that the inconvenience it has caused is not to be repeated. I will be following this up with strongly worded letter. My big brother has, I think, a new appreciation for his little sister (he calls me his "little pit bull"; I hate dogs!). He remarked that watching me write down names and take notes blew him away! and he quietly thanked me 2 times for coming down for the meeting. It's been a tough month for him; he's lost 2 friends, and one of his cats, and has been beating himself up over selecting the wrong place for Mum. I told him not to waste time on the latter... there are no guarantees and trusting people are often the ones prone to "guilt". I teased him, telling him I really did understand just how it felt to be absolutely overwhelmed... "yeah, now I get it". I'm whipped. Traffic was dreadful coming home. Sue, the sickest I've been in my life was with Lyme Disease. I don't doubt you must feel some crummy! did the do a Lyme titer on you? Check out the New England FAQ for my story and my insights on that. Take good care, we need more people like you in our world! Hi to everyone else; I promise to reread with a less distracted mind, but know I think of you guys every single day in one way or another.

Since alesse is a combintion of synthetic progestin and (synthetic) estradiol, I wonder why you attribute any "improvement" to "progesterone?" Alesse is a triphasic oral contraceptive meaning that the pills are three different combinations and each combination is to be taken sequentially. While I don't know the specifics about Alesse most of these types of oral contraceptives have a "low" dose of estrogen along with a "low" dose of progestin in the first group, a higher dose of both drugs in the second, and a lower estrogen dose along with a still higher dose of progestin in the third. This type of pill is not suitable for continuous administration because it depends on your having a "washout" time period at the end of the cycle of pills before you begin on the next package. The difference in progestin dose between the first group of pills and the last is enough to induce the withdrawal bleeding you experienced when you go directly from the pills in the last group to the pills in the first group of the next package. One of the more common and more serious side effects of oral contraceptives is depression. Either estrogen, progestin/progesterone or a combination of the two may cause depression. I would seek medical advice about this. If your doctor doesn't return calls or makes you wait for three months to get assistance, you might need to go looking for a doctor who is more responsive to the needs of his/her patients. Refusal to return calls borders on malpractice and you might wish to report this doctor to your state medical association and/or your insurance company.

I ditto trying not to get overwhelmed and just toss stuff out randomly. Try to identify those things, or categories, or activities, that are no longer "you" and those will be the easiest starting points. Or, pull out all the items in a certain category and, if you're like a lot of collectors, some will represent the "early" you and some will be your more advanced tastes, or better quality, or something. So some combination of approaches like that can help you get started. Also, it's not unusual to weed out a few things at one level and then weeks or months later have the focus and confidence to go further. Give yourself time to make those discernments. Another good approach for some people is to take everything out of the shelf, or cabenet, and then put half (or less) back. In the meantime, you don't actually ahve to toss out what you've deleted, but maybe put it in a box. Then look at it later and see if you think you really still need those things. If the changes you're making include bringing fewer items into the house, you'll find that if you are patient and persistent, you'll make real progress and yet not feel like you might be throwing away something you really love. I actually started a thing-out, thing-in journal "list" so that I could see if I was sabotaging myself by acquiring new things as fast as I got rid of other things. It is helpful in keeping me honest about where my problems lie. I also find some of my most satisfying de-cluttering comes at the end of an "era" or phase of project, or life--such as, as kids grow and you finally realize that certain items are now too juvenile, or when I have the guts to admit that I'm not going to actually DO a certain project or that if I ever do, I can always get the things I need then, or maybe a cooking phase that now is too complicated, or clothing styles, or whatever. And you have to be able to realize that you may have just made some shopping mistakes, and keeping the things now out of guilt won't help you or anyone else. Forgive and move on!

Those are all good ideas. I already have some experience with keeping track of various papers and with filing systems--I have "my own" filing areas for the kids, for family health records, for my hobbies, and when each of my parents (who were divorced) developed health problems and dementia, I kept all their accounts, papers, mail, sales of homes, etc in "my" study. And I have some idea of how I would set up a filing system for all of this other stuff if I were doing it all for me. What is a bit more difficult is first, getting to the point where I can help and second, trying to see whether "we" are setting up a filing system that works for him, or me, or both. Meaning, what's a bit new in my thinking is whether ultimately he might never be able to keep up any system and so I take over more of the system and the filing and then tell HIM where stuff is, or whether he would collaborate and let me be "the consultant" so if h e wants labelled shoeboxes instead of files, that's fine, etc.--what I am trying to go to a new level on is, how to "feel out" the situation as to whether he is overwhelmed and will never ask for help but really wants it, or whether it is some line I can't cross. So I'm moving into being more pro-active but trying (very hard for me, sometimes!) to keep saying to myself, remember the big picture, the long haul, and not instant gratification, and also, bite my tongue when I'm tired and cranky and feel like saying something that is accusatory. Since he almost never asks for help, with anything, we all in our family probably think of him as invincible, and I'm kinda hopeful that he might actually want help if it's done right. harrietthehomeowner, I don't think outside help is right for him. But again, what will help me most in trying to do something now is to focus on family needs--that clearly I would never be able to take over, or even help out, with our papers and stuff if anything happened to him(illness or other) and I'm hoping even he can see that that would be a bad situation for our family. Whereas, if it's the guy's toolshed or hobby shop, you could just shut your eyes. cocontom, great point about the electronic conversions--he is actually the most "on line" person in the family and is probably receptive to doing more--mostly we have the busy-syndrome, where you have to make yourself carve out time to do things that will save time in the long run. One thing that is obvious is that I will have to find an extended period of time--don't have that until later in the fall--to actually start the project physically, but could be planning what types of shelving or filing equipment needed. I'm free to play around with floorplans on my own! This is one of those things where, since you can't move in the room, you need to haul everything out and say, what goes back in? It's like, you can't really sort through boxes of stuff until you have alternative destinations for each category. Here is one more interesting point that may test how committed I am. When we moved to this house, "his study" was to be this destination financial stuff, tools,etc, and "my study" was the combo guest room, photo file repository, various family-use items, and whatever I wanted, I guess. So I have guest linens, out of season decorations, hobby supplies, gift wrap, family mementos from my parents, and just "stuff" of mine, pretty well organized. And folks can get and use stuff from there, or I can get it for them. So--and wonder if folks can relate to this--I have a tendency to think I am using my space "well" for the family and he is not. You know how as the DW, you tend to think that ultimately all spaces are yours--it's hard to view any areas as sacred and off-limits to your organization and cleaning and meddling. So, if it somehow turned out that he could not "share" this filing concept, but said, well, if you're going to take over, do it somewhere else than my room, I don't know if I'm big enough to sacrifice my space to put all of it--I would have to completely re-do how my space is organized and would not have room for some of the fluff and stuff I have. I don't think that would happen, but I just wondered.