No sorry, I think I was mistaken. For some reason I was thinking the swale was 4" below grade when as you state its actually only ~2". This complicates it as you wont be able to relocate the swale to the far end of the patio and retain proper drainage (+ - 1"/4') across the 19' of patio as I had mentioned. In light of this, if you don't want to compromise your patio space I think you need to install a drain near the centre of your patio and redirect the swale to the left side of the patio. The drain will allow you to keep the patio perimeter above the unchanged swale gradient. That option however is conditional on 1) the ability to redirect the swale to the far left side of the patio, as I assume its source is outside of your control and thus can not be completely replaced by said drain (this may require you to modify the patio shape you have designed to allow for the swale to contour it). And 2) that you have somewhere to run your drain to, i.e down toward the street. you did say though, "That swale carry's water towards you in the picture...though the way our property is setup, would could technically carry the water either toward or away." Perhaps this means the swale can be leveled to a lower gradient and allow for what I was initially saying about relocating it and working with 4" slope on patio (4" across 19' is cheating but is not completely unacceptable). Or if you can gain 2" against the house without interfering with siding as mentioned by a poster above then you will have your patio elevation and be able to relocate the swale. sorry this advice is based on limited info and a picture, I hope its helpful nonetheless.

Dem~ I agree w/ the "perfect as possible" thing. That's why I worded it that way. I don't believe there is such a thing as a 100% perfect marriage. I would just like ours to be as close as it can be... I also don't really care what anybody else thinks as long as *we* are happy... That was just the "dreamer" coming out of me... LOL. I also see your point about the power struggle. I will not be here long enough to see how it will be when I'm in my 40's w/ kids. I know there is only so much of this I can take. I understand that withholding sex is probably not the right strategy, but when I came up w/ that idea, I was lost as to what to do next. Thank you for your kind words... I hope things work out too! Terri~ Again, I don't want to get into this discussion, b/c it really doesn't matter. I honestly don't know anything about the AA or Al-Anon meetings, this is truly my first time dealing w/ a drinker of any sort. I'm looking into this stuff though. Thanks for the info. I now have more to add to the story. I can't believe that our marriage is in such a downward spiral right now! Yesterday evening, around 6 pm, DH called me to tell me he was off work. We talked for about 30 mins. He told me while we were talking that he was sitting in his car waiting for everyone else to leave b/c his car was blocked in by everyone else's. He also said that the rest of the guys were sitting @ the job trailer drinking beer. I told him that I was very proud of him for coming to his car instead of sticking around w/ the other guys. Well, when we got ready to get off the phone, he said he was going to go talk w/ the guys & try to get them to move their cars. I knew when he said "talk w/ the guys" how my night would end up. I told him to just try not to sit there long or the temptation may be too much for him to handle & he agreed & said he wasn't going to drink anything. (NOTE: After I posted on the 9th, we talked/argued that night & he promised me that he wasn't going to drink for the rest of the time he was there - he would be coming home on the 12th (now that's changed, but that's a different story). Anyway, he promised, there was no coercion on my part, he did this all on his own.) Honestly, when he promised this, I didn't trust him, but thought surely he can make it thru 3 nights! NOPE, wrong again! Like I said, we got off the phone at approx. 6:30 pm & he didnt call me back until 11 pm! I havent felt good for the last few days, so I went to bed at about 8:30. I tried calling his cell phone, no answer. I tried again at 9, no answer. I finally called my sister, whose DH works for the same place, she said her DH had called her @ about 8 & was headed home. I was furious! Then, after I laid there, until about 10 pm, I started worrying. *My DH has told me about things being stolen from their jobsite. He said when they moved their camper, they had to argue w/ some guys who thought they, DH & coworkers, were in their spot. He said he thought for a minute that there was going to be a physical fight. He is also very anal now about locking his car, which he rarely worries about, b/c of the area theyre in.* So, I started worrying that, what if he had went home, but gotten jumped by a group of guys or something & was laying there bleeding to death & nobody knew! I know this sounds a little dramatic, but its happened (in the news), and Im also quite the worrier. So, needless to say, I was awake until that phone rang @ 11 pm. I was so mad, after I realized he was OK, b/c I thought it was very inconsiderate of him, knowing that I didnt feel well, knowing I had to work today & get up @ 5 am & also, breaking his promise... Yet again! That particular promise lasted 2 whole days. I told him how upset I was w/ him & that I thought he was being totally inconsiderate. He started making excuses for why he stayed & said that he didnt realize it was so late. I told him to quit making excuses, that he was a big boy & he did it b/c he wanted to & he was only worried about making himself happy & nothing & no one else. He then got belligerent w/ me, so I told him I had to go & hung up. He has called me several times today & tried to be/sound as sweet as possible. I have pretty much given him the cold shoulder. Im still not feeling the greatest & honestly, dont have the energy to argue w/ him or deal w/ this right now. He did say in one of our conversations that when he came home, we were going to work on getting his life straightened up. I want to believe this & see hope in this, but cant. Ive heard similar things so many times before & hes never completely followed thru w/ anything. Sometimes I start seeing that light at the end of the tunnel, only to later realize it was a train! He will go for a while, and then screw everything up in one night. Also, when he said, "when I come home", that just told me he is just putting it off, which means it will never get done. I honestly dont think I can help him. I think this is something he needs to do himself, but I will be beside him every step of the way if thats what it takes. And, again, Im doubtful that this will actually happen, but if hes actually willing to try, other than AA & AlAnon, what else can I do to help? Thanks in advance for any advice!

My thought is have it shipped to them if they need it. Have them inspect it for you, if there is anything at all questionable, hop in the car and go. OR just plan on going after it arrives anyway to inspect it yourself (yes, still going to the shop, but not lugging it with you) and it would give you a chance to check on your cabinets, maybe the color, blah blah blah. I think you are ultimately the one who needs to see the sink and make sure there is no problem. My cabinetmaker only wanted my stages sink in his shop and that was because he was making a very custom cabinet for it, not what is typically expected under a sink.

I agree it's between the servers and the manager. The customer should never be put in the middle. Policies vary from place to place. In some it's who took the order and in others it's who brought the plate. Mostly it's which servers name or ID is on the bill since most places report the workers' sales to the IRS. Personally I tip the person who took my order and brings the entree and checks back that everything is ok. If the table is turned over before the entree is served I tip the one who served the meal. Once the check has been presented in California it often mean that server is taxed on on that check right off the top. Now if the one who takes over the table does something extra like make a dessert for me or goes out of there way to do more than refill my glass I will leave a little something for them too. I tip well but I will not tip extra because someone refilled my cup or glass. One of my pet peeves are servers who carry the coffee pot or iced tea pitcher right past other tables and only refill the glasses at their own tables. I try to eat at places where everyone works as a team. More places are short staffed these days and often the managers pitch right in. they certainly don't expect a tip.