I don't make purchase offers based on what the agents are getting for commission. Offers are based on what I think is the market value of the house.

You logic isn't quite right! Are you saying that if the commission was 10% then buyers would pay you more for the house? Most buyers want to get a good deal and don't care how you split that money after you get it.

"The thought is that she is getting 2 commissions for helping me so should be willing to take a slightly reduced commission...."

So, she should be willing to take a pay cut even though she's still going to be doing all the amount of work involved? (There are no shortcuts for her just because you are both selling and buying - each transaction is just as much work.) Is she not worth the "slightly reduced" amount?
And remember, she's still paying a cut to her broker, so that "slightly reduced commission" could be really, really reduced by the time it gets to her pocket.
Also, if you decide to pursue this anyway, I wouldn't go about telling her how to split the commission - that's up to the broker. You say 5% and the listing broker will likely split it evenly. When you see listing agents reduce their split - that is something they choose to do. I would consider it very unreasonable, rude even, to ask. And while buyers don't notice such things, trust me, buyers' agents do.

Since (except in rare cases) a very large part of what a real estate agent spends their time and effort on is prospecting for new clients and finding new business, a discount for offering a "two-fer" to an agent is perfectly reasonable. The transactions are still the same amount of work, but the return on total time and effort is much better for the agent and their company.

Its normal to take reduced commission when having two listings. plenty of room in 6 percent! I had commission on the house I was selling completely waived few years ago when I was buying a much bigger house.

I do agree that a savvy agent will offer a reduced commission if s/he is in a position to do so.
I guess it just rubbed me wrong that the OP was going to ask for it in that manner. Perhaps asking, "would you be willing to reduce your commission if we chose you to help us buy our new home?" (rather than asking for a specific cut) would go over better to me.

C9pilot - the people who suggested the reduced commission to me (my mortgage broker and my RE atty) both suggested the reduced commission - they told me the standard breakdown would be 3% 2%. I wouldn't tell my agent how to break it down but around here it seems to be pretty standard that the buyers agent always gets 3%.

My RE atty will do closing Power of Attorney on my sale pro bono if I use him for the accompanying purchase.

FWIW the 2 combined transactions will be about $1.3 mil

My question remains -
I know when people buy FSBO, they tend to reduce their offer to compensate for the lack of commission. So if people are purchasing a reduced commission house, do they also tend to reduce their offer to compensate?

You should tell your agent how the commission is to be split. Suppose your agent decided to keep 3.5% and offer 1.5% to a buyer's agent?

In my state the listing contract must specify the split.

Negotiating a reduced commission is always reasonable. If your agent considers it rude, how will they negotiate with a buyer and agent? Also, you designating the split is reasonable, it is your money, and it can affect showings. Your agent is always free to refuse their suggested commission. In my area 5% is the norm, haven't seen 6% in years.

Around here the commission is in the listing, but can't be seen by non-members of the MLS (in other words, it's part of the listing that only the Realtors see)
I doubt any Realtors would reduce the offer price based on such a slight reduction in commission.
I do know of Realtors who won't show homes that offer below a certain amount of commission - could be greed, I suppose, but could be, depending on the sales price, not worth their time to show.
I brought a buyer to a FSBO seller who initially offered me 0% because I would get the full commission when they used me to purchase their new home. I was going to hand them my buyers and walk away. That's when they realized that it would be worth paying me for the work I would end up doing, which ended up being A LOT.

It's not rude to negotiate a better deal. If the realtor does not like it, nobody is forcing them to take the deal. Please! It's a business transaction and there is nothing personal about it.

There is no "Standard" commission rate and for a Realtor to state that there is one could be a violation of the Sherman Anti Trust Act. It should be made clear that the commission is what THEIR brokerage charges and no mention of "Standard or Normal"
.Group boycotting of homes listed at a lower commission rate is also a violation.
Do some Realtors say and do these things...possibly but they better not get caught.

Here is a link that might be useful: Anti Trust

C9... if you ever do decide to reduce a sellers commission in an agreement to have them use you for the buying deal, then always give the reduction in commission on the buying side, after the home is sold. I have heard some sellers agreeing to this and then NOT using the agent for the buying process.

I haven't heard any agent refer to a standard commission, in real life or on this forum;
the references to standard or normal have come from other, non-Realtor, posters.

There *is* such a thing as an office standard or policy for commissions;
if your agent's broker says she may not list a property for less than, say, 10%, she cannot contract to work for a lower fee.

& I cannot imagine a situation in which any group of Realtors got together & agreed on anything more complicated than where to have lunch, much less to "boycott" *anything* or to violate a law;
there's just too much potential for disaster.

If you're offering a low commission (you yourself must determine what's "low") to a buyer's agent & your property isn't being shown, the low commissin might indeed be a factor, one which the buyers & their agent will have discussed & agreed on, but it's a decision made by the buyer & the buye's agent, not by some sort of cartel.

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I think the terms are mincing words, we (nonrealtors) know commission cannot be fixed, but we all know there are norms for commission in different areas.

I've never heard a buyers agent discuss with the buyer an agreement not to show a low commission listing.
Has any Realtor here had such a discussion and agreement with their buyer?

I believe this used to be more common (on the part of the buyer's agent) but with today's online listings it is difficult to avoid showing a listing the buyer wants to see. I also believe agents' will attempt to avoid a listing by some agents, just because some agents are known to be very lazy and or difficult to work with. Can't say I blame the agent for not wanting to work with a difficult person.