along**

Madison-

There is an edit button in each post....

Kuduz-
Not sure that I have one, i have looked to try and edit it instead but didn't see one so figured it didnt have one. Sorry new to this app, got it because we were suppose to be buying this house actually.

kudzu* ugh okay where's the edit button, I clearly suck.

Madison-

I don't use the app, but there is an edit button in the upper right corner of all my posts when I view them on my PC or on my phone (using a browser).

Madison-

About the lost opportunity: I've been there and know how it feels. Hindsight is 20/20, but you can't beat yourself up about what sounded like a rational decision at the time. There is another house out there for you that will be at least as good (I've been there, too).

Although we are pretty disappointed. I told my fiance there's this really cute house up for sale and we could just redo the flooring and whatever to make it out dream home. We actually worked out a plan for us to both work but make sure our daughter is home with us since we cant afford daycare, so we plan on saving all of what i make to put towards a house. I know something else will come along eventually. Just still sucks that it had been sitting for a year and they said only 2 people looked at it and right when we already signed an agreement, someone has a better offer. Just really took us by surprise.

I'm sorry you missed this one. I thought you said that the seller had reduced the price after it sat on the market a long time. That happens when a property is priced too high and then the seller drops the price into the right price range, many buyers come out to see the property and make an offer. It does suck that you missed this one, but there are other properties and this is the time of year that people put their homes on the market. Keep an eye out. You could end up with a better property.

Madison Heck

I know exactly how you feel - the house we missed out on was absolutely "perfect" and I truly don't think that I will find another - at least one that I can afford. The house we lost was an absolute fabulous deal and had everything we wanted/needed, in the best location we could have asked, and for a great price. The problem - we waited too long to place our offer. My husband was out of town at the time (actually the entire month of December). With that and the holidays, we wanted to make sure of our offer and place one after Christmas. Unfortunately, someone else put in an offer 2 days before Christmas and the offer was accepted. I think about this house everyday as does my husband. We are trying to make the most out of our current home but it seems to just get harder and harder. I don't talk about it much with close friends or family because I'm sure they all will say the same things - "it's just a house" - "don't worry, something better will come along." I was glad I found this site because I think that the most understanding people are those who have had the same or similar experiences. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the kind uplifting words of the "its just a house, etc."

Denita:

The seller of the home we missed had dropped the price about 3 weeks before the other offer went it. The offer we played around with was going to be quite lower than that dropped price and I honestly didn't think that the seller would take it. Turns out that the offer that was accepted was only $5,000 more than ours but with a finance contingency. Our's would have been a clean offer so I think it would have been accepted. I think I will be heartbroken over this for a long time but I remain hopeful that something else will come along.

That's EXACTLY how we felt too! I totally understand how you feel.
Literally there was nothing about this place I didn't like. I loved that we had a basement, where we rent now we don't have one so our extra room is just a storage room. 3 rooms with carpet, we dont have carpet where we are now. We had beautiful dark bamboo flooring, an abpsolutely beautiful but modern kitchen, our room actually had French doors that lead out to a patio and a bathroom in our room! The bathrooms were not outdated at all and just as much modern as the rest of the house. The outside was just as perfect as well .This place was listed for 89,900 after a bunch of price changes and our offer of 86, 500 with 3% sellers assist got accepted and we signed papers but because the seller got a better offer he backed out. I messaged him after seeing the other houses he fixed up, just to appreciate his work. He actually said if we matched their offer and excluded the inspection the house would ours, no questions asked. We could've easily matched their offer but we went to take one last look and we ended up saying no because of no inspection. We were both crushed but didn't want to take the risk.
I've thought about the what ifs and this house all week and I really hope we don't end up regretting this, although it's possible there could've been nothing wrong and we missed out.

Madison, at the risk of making you feel worse (not my intention) how this could have been handled was you hire an inspector who just comes along for that last look - you dont have to tell anyone who he is, he's just someone helping you make your decision. This could be a useful tactic in other situations- say you want to buy an "as is" house or give yourself a leg up by not having an inspection contingency.

There is a risk of course that something might be discovered after you make an offer, and then youd have no recourse or grounds for bailing out on the deal.

But at least you'd go in armed with factual information and be in a better position to mae a decision yes or no. Some obvious flaws that may not be obvious to a newbie would be detected before offer is made. Ex: we took this approach with a house that had some bad cracking going on in the walls and our inspector determined the one end of the house was sinknig and gave some costs to shore up the house that was in the many tens of thousands which we used to make an offer (a realllly low one). It was rejected but at least we tried. AND, we didnt get stuck with a horribly overpriced mess to fix up.

A good inspector should be able to give you some ball park nos to correct problems and different approaches you might take (diy vs hiring someone), also advise when or if you shouldnt do it at all.

If the seller is lurking about then youd probably want to save most of your discussion with the inspector until after you've gone from the premises. GOod luck in your future endeavors!!! Dont worry, there's always another house to fall in love with.

These days you can’t go lower on the price, you have to offer the best you could to compete with other offers.......

Kimberly,

Even if you submitted your offer, you did not know what other buyer's finance contingency was. It could be something very simple and reassuring, so that the seller would take the other offer over yours for the extra $5000.00, especially after they just dropped the price.

You are wasting energy and time crying over a sold house. What you need to do now is to be fully prepared when the next PERFECT house shows on the market.

There are many buyers watching real estate listings, when good one shows up, it usually takes a few hours going under contract. The reasons such as your husband was out of town, Christmas...etc. and you waited for a few months do not cut it. In our town, we heard competitive story such as buyer's agent got the seller out of bed in the night and signed the contract before next morning.

Current resident,


Thank you! We actually did take someone along with us who knew a little bit about what we needed to look for.
The main cause was this was all so rushed we hardly had tine to think..The day we saw the house listed my fiance called in that exact moment, we went to look the next day, made offers.. Within 3-4 days we were signing the papers and we honestly didn't have the intention in buying a house although we are saving for one, but not really looking... We didn't even think we would make it that far but we fell in love with it! It had been sitting for a year but we were sure after we signed all that was left was to have the seller sign and we could do the appraisals, inspections ect. to see if anything was wrong. Next day we thought they were calling to say he signed and we could go ahead with the contingencies but he got a better offer. He gave us a chance first since we got that far, but we had to match their offer with no inspection.. They gave us that exact moment to make up our minds but we wanted to look one last time.. We took someone with us and they checked over everything and we had 3 questions by the end of looking but they lady said she had to go and we had to make up our minds right there.. it was really hard to do but i'm glad we did just in case! They did say the roof probably had 5 years tops. We said no Monday night and the house was just taken down yesterday and is already sold! lol

Hi Everyone!

I am really glad I found this site because my husband and I just lost out on a home we really liked and I feel devastated. We have been searching for a home for almost 6 months. We almost bought a home 3 months into our search but found out the home would need a new roof, there was mold and asbestos in the basement, the upstairs bathroom had no running water - so we backed out. A couple weeks later our friends Mom was selling her house and we went to look at it, but she was selling it for way over value price and wouldn’t come down in price. Later we find out that my friends Mom sold it for $30,000 less than we would have offered her. Then my dream home came along. We saw it the same day it came on the market and immediately went to put an offer in. However, the sellers agent wouldn’t accept any offers until after the weekend. It turns out there were many offers. We offered them over asking price but we got outbid by an older couple who gave them $20,000 above asking. Ugh it sucks. I feel like even if we see another house as nice as the one we lost we will most likely have to fork up $20,000 we don’t have just to beat the competition. It’s hard out there in this market. I feel so discouraged. House hunting has been very stressful. Everyone says “it wasn’t meant to be” or “don’t worry you’ll find something better” but it’s hard to hear when you have been searching for months and just keep getting screwed. Also, my husband and I live in an extremely small one bedroom apartment that has no storage. I don’t do well in clutter and I am going insane in the tiny apartment. Thanks for letting me vent guys. I hope you all have luck with your search!

When you know there are multiple offers you then really have to decide how bad you want to be the winner. Come the next morning, there will be one winner and all others will be still searching. If you sincerely run into that next perfect house, and are tired of searching, you need to make sure you are the winner.

Hi ncrealestateguy!

I hope your comment wasn't meant to be condescending. My realtor, who I trust - did not recommend us putting in more above asking price than we already had because he was concerned the house would not get appraised for that high of an amount. I believe we gave a very fair offer, but for me as a first time home buyer I am learning through my mistakes as I go along. I think the reason for this thread was for people to vent about the frustrations of house hunting, so for you to come in and say that I or anyone else on this forum should of done something differently kind of makes me/us feel worse. Yes I lost out on the house to a higher bid. So sure, I'll take your advice. If the next perfect house comes a long and there are multiple offers, and if my situation and bank account allow me - I will put in the absolute highest I could possibly and reasonably afford without going over my budget :)

nc is being realistic rather than condescending. Any bidding war there will always be just one winner. Unless you have the extra money go bid higher than the expected appraised value when there is a bidding war will probably go to another person. Seen too many that after winning this type of war were unable to find the needed extra. Your house may come back onto the market just because of this.

Now I will be condescending. As a first time buyer you should never expect in a bidding war to win to do so means your expectations are unrealistic. Most first time buyers will not have the extra money to outbid others. You will finally find the house that you are looking for but it will be in your price range not what others are willing to spend.

I don't see the purpose of this thread is "for people to vent about the frustrations of house hunting" I see this is a tread of providing solution to resolve the frustrations of house hunting.

I am amazed by the notion of "the house would not get appraised", while in the meantime the same person comments "the selling/asking/sold price matches comp.

Then ask " where does comp come from? the answer is "The selling prices from previous sold properties in the surrounding neighborhood". Isn't it clear the selling prices are the driver that reflect demand and supply of the market at the duration?Otherwise, all the sold prices would stay constant since day one after the house was built and sold.

Lost out a bid is a clear indication that the offer mis-judged market supply and demand or the bidder's affordability or both. The only way to win the next bid is to make adjustment on both. Blaming people like ncrealestateguy would not help with the situation at all.

I'm a Realtor. In our market we have multiple offers on homes regularly just like many other sellers markets. I can tell you from my POV that some of the offers that come in do take into account the comps and the market so the offer is realistic and others are not. It isn't always the highest offer that gets accepted, it is the strongest offer. Often the strongest is the highest, but not always. I also encourage my buyers to stay within their purchasing power because you don't want to stretch yourself too thin. After all, you the buyer, are the ones that are paying the mortgage long term. This may mean you need to make adjustments to your buying criteria.

On the buying agents side, you do take a risk if you offer above list and you don't have the additional funds to bring to closing above the appraised value. This is typically handled with a negotiation between the parties for the seller to drop the contract price to the appraised value or to some figure mutually agreeable to the buyer and seller or to cancel the purchase. This second price negotiation is common in my market if the appraisal doesn't meet the contract sales price. Talk to your agent about it.

Thank you so much Denita for your comment! I understand exactly what you are saying because my realtor told me pretty much the same thing. I followed my realtors advice because I trusted what he had said, but I will definitely talk to him about this. Hopefully I will find my true dream house!

One more point HU-275639...

The lender matters. Why? If the lender has a history of giving pre-approvals to buyers and then not being able to actually close, that lender will be heavily discounted at the time you make an offer when there are multiple offers on the property. What do I mean by this? That if the lender has a reputation for not closing after they have issued the pre-approval, the seller is likely to not accept the offer in order to avoid having the sale fall through at the last moment.

For example, in my market, Wells Fargo, BOA and Chase have a reputation for issuing pre-approvals and not being able to close. The buyer receives a denial about a week before closing from the lender for some bank overlay or a reason that would have been known on the first day of application had the LO known how to calculate DTI (for example). Any offer made by these big box lenders is already hampered because of the poor reputation of the lender. Find out if it is similar in your market. If it is similar, then find a lender with a good reputation and use that lender rather than the one with a poor reputation. This is not something you would be expected to know, but your agent or your agent's broker, would know.

Thank you!!! I will definitely look into this!

HU... My post was not meant to be condescending at all. Maybe written a little in haste and not well thought out on my end.

Your agents' advice to not offer more because it may not pass appraisal would not have been the advice I would have given to you in your situation. You have been looking for over 6 months, you are frustrated, you are ready for it to be over, AND you just found your "Dream Home" (And I am assuming you could go up in offer price some), I would have advised to go as high and best as you were totally able to do, and update the Pre Qual Letter stating this new amount. Even if you think it may not appraise, who cares? You cross THAT bridge if and when you cross it. If it appraises, Congrats, you win the home. If it does not appraise, the decision is yours as to what to do next... usually the seller will meet you at this appraised price. In either scenario, you are in control of the property, and you will probably end up with the home. The advice given to you, IMO, was very non aggressive.

^Yes. This is what I advise my buyers when faced with a mulitoffer situation. Well said ncrealestateguy.

Good advice, NC and Denita....The key is "you are in control of the property".

Too bad you are not practicing here.....Do you know anyone in Phoenix is as good as you are?

NC thank you for taking the time to respond. I definitely do feel as though my realtor wasn’t agressive enough. When I asked if we should bid even higher he didn’t seem to think that was the way to go. Next time I will push more and go with my gut.

Something just as nice or better usually does come along sooner OR later...

Thanks NC, thats what I am hoping for!

First of all, I love that this post has continued from 2014 - 2018. I'm here to tell my story, if anyone is still listening, because I hope it helps me let go of it. Back in August 2018, a house we had been eyeing (but was way out of price range) finally dropped into our range (about 100k less than that it was originally listed for). We acted immediately yet foolishly, putting in a low ball offer. We didn't get the house despite a lovely letter and buttoned up offer, not to our surprise. There were two other buyers and another buyer had gone way above asking, so I was able to reconcile with the fact that we wouldn't have beat them anyway. Fast forward one month later, our realtor tells us that the original contract didn't go through, and we had the opportunity to opt back in again. This time, I was smarter and increased my offer to get very close to their asking. We were alerted that the other buyer who lost out the first time was also interested again. We immediately wrote another letter and sent our offer in within 2 hours of hearing the news, the other prospective buyer sent in their offer 8 hours later. Our realtor called us that night with the good news, the seller accepted our offer! We were so excited and relieved and happy. Our realtor told us we needed to sign the updated contract (I had slightly increased my offer at the very end), which she sent through at 9:30pm that night. That particular night I was at dinner with friends to tell them I'm pregnant (yes, another fun component of the story) and I let my realtor know I would sign first thing in the morning so that I could read through, which wasn't an issue for her. Woke up and sent the contracts through at 8am, and then radio silence all day. Around 2pm my realtor called to let me know the sellers had pulled out from our offer because we "hesitated" to sign it, and they gave the house to the other buyer. She had been harassing the agent all day for answers, and the agent continued to ignore her and not respond. The agent claims that she told our realtor they needed it by midnight, my realtor claims no one ever told her the contract needed to be sent by midnight. I know, because my husband sneakily got a hold of the agent and talked to her personally about what happened. And here we are. That was about 2 months ago, and I'm not over it and I don't know if I ever will be. It also doesn't help that I'm now 7 months pregnant. We were lied to (by someone) and cheated out of a house that was verbally agreed to be ours. It was the perfect house for us, the perfect time to move, the perfect price and location. It just makes me sick because we'd been looking forever and I know how rare it is to find a property like that. I truly felt it was meant to be for us and I'm struggling to find peace in knowing "it wasn't meant to be" because I honestly still feel like that's our house. One by one overpriced and way less desirable homes pop up and it just makes it worse. I'm not sure how long it will take to get over this, I wish I'd never met that house.

@ncrealestateguy curious about your thoughts on my story above

@kimberly62 @Madison Heck hopefully my story makes you feel better :)

@K B

Hi: Thanks for sharing your story. I can truly say that I know how you fell. It was aroudn this time last year that I first saw my dream home and the anniversary of it reopened the wound a little wider. I can honestly say that I have thought about the house we missed out on every single day. I have continued to look, but like you said, other houses - even the more expensive ones - do not have the same appeal. I know people say that "something better will come along" or "it wasn't meant to be" but it has been a year and I just don't see any light at the end of my tunnel of frustration. My husband will drive by it once in a while and make comments like "someone else is living in my house" - it's is really frustrating to both of us. The house we missed out on was absolutely perfect for us as well. It was in the neighborhood I desired and had "everything" we always wanted. I don't look for anything as much as I used to because I really don't think that I will find something that I would like as much. I periodically look at houses on line, but have not had any desire to actually go to a home physically. As usual, no other home comes close. I keep telling myself that it really is not that important and that we have a home and that is what matters, but deep down it really hurts. I also feel like I would have never met the house I lost out on. Good luck to you in your search. Although I don't wish the way I feel on anyone - Its good to have people to talk to that can relate. Thanks again for sharing.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><md>@k I hope you found your dream house

We have been looking for a house in a better school district for over a year. Literally over a year. We love our current houshouse, but the school tthat my daughter would attend here next year is not that great. We have a pool aand want our next house to also come with a pool. We don't want the expense of putting one in, as they aren't cheap. We have said many times that if only our house wwith a pool was for sale in a good school district. Well, we got jaded and slowed our looking down to just listings and not actively searching a few months back. On Friday, a listing came on that is literally our house. Same builder, same quare footage, same floor plan but with some nicer finish outs and a better pool. Holy crap. A unicorn. So we saw that they scheduled open houses over the next 2 days. We knew we wanted it, but didn't want to put in an offer prior to the open houses, as we figured the offer could be used to entice multiple offers and a bidding war. Boy were we wrong. We called on Saturday and we were too late. Sellers had already accepted an offer. We were stunned. Both at the fact that the seller accepted it before the open house and at our own sheer stupidity for having not pounced immediately. Especially since we are willing to pay over asking. We love the house. It's our house in a better school district. Literally, down to the room sizes and everything. It is the same exact floorplan. It has the pool. Just wanting a house with a pool eliminates about 95 percent of the inventory. We screwed up so badly. I'm crushed and still can't believe how stupid we were to wait, even though it was 1 day. We have submitted a back up offer. I have felt sick to my stomach since Saturday. Everyone says a better one will come along. Not likely at that price point with the 10/10 rated elementary, pool, double height ceilings in the living room and over 3600 square feet (see why it is so hard to match?). It's just so disappointing. I feel awful because I realize that I have the same house and are very blessed, but we want the great schools for our kids and that house had better finish outs too. Granite, nicer cabinets, a better yard, better elevation. When will I stop the self loathing for being such an idiot?

No comment about missing out on the house but if you read the various threads that have been posted you should have put in a contingency bid just incase the accepted offer fell through. Some areas will accept them others simply put you on a list to contact if the sale falls through.

Yes, we sent in a backup offer 2 days ago. Still waiting to get it finalized. Apparently the seller was busy with work... now our realtor is waiting on theirs to get the date of the current contract. The buyers Options period ends tomorrow at 5pm, so the outlook isn't that great. I'm in complete shock that we llet this slip through our hands. Awful feeling

OMG, interesting that this thread should return - I had forgotten I had written what I did "the only times in life Ive regretted anything was by not acting." Isnt that the truth!

I was all set to act on what appeared to be my dream home and for one blissful week I went around thinking it would happen, until I finally got a few reality checks and learned that I basically had 67K less to work with than I thought I did..... what with cap gains tax on my current property (income producing) + fees and commissions to sell the place + losing a substantial amt selling as is vs not finishing a few simple (but time consuming) projects.

Its certainly motivated me to get butt in gear and get ducks in a row and finish the work so that next time around Ill be ready. But heres the thing... if I had sold my house + spent all my savings leaving me with only a 5-10K cushion I could have gotten it. Or if I had taken out a big ass loan using current house as collateral plus used up most of my savings I could have gotten it.... both which would have left me stretched really thin. But it would be MINE!!!!

This element of "it could be mine" is what is making this so frikkin difficult. If it was just way beyond my means i wouldnt have given it a second thought. Id just think "oh well" and move on. But as it is, I keep thinking back to times in my younger days when I put everything on the line and came out enriched in ways I never could have had otherwise (ex: travelling through Europe w very little $$$).

Then there is some regret that I didnt just offer what I could afford regardless of whether its a good offer or not, There was one other house about 5 yrs ago which I didnt act on, which then sold for more than 10 K less than I would have offered, but didnt thinking it was too low.l

I notice the listing still says "contingent - for sale". Does that mean they still would look at other offers? Hmmmm......

^Yes, if it says 'contingent' most sellers would consider a backup offer. Usually it is contingent on an inspection or financing (or both). Sometimes it is contingent on the sale of buyers current home and that gives you a very good opportunity to buy it. Have your agent contact the listing agent to find out how strong the contract is and if it's worth making a backup offer.

I"m so bummed I'm not looking again. After literally looking for years for a house, I found one I loved. And to make it even better, the price had been dropped twice. After getting my hubby to go look at it, we put in an offer. We lost our dreamed house to a couple that bid $25K less than us but had a firm offer. I'm not making this up...it was an estate sale that had been on the market for 90 days...obviously $$ was not really the factor. They wanted a quick sale, and even though our realtor said he could sell our house within 10 days, the house is gone.

I hate this! Looking for a new house is exhausting, soul sucking work. You find one you love and then you're UNDERbid...ok, I'm clearly meant to rent.

Hathatshop, I am guessing it was a cash offer that took your dream home. That house would be closed within 30 days. That’s why the seller took the cash offer. You could get your equity loan ready to go for a dream house too, pay the house with cash and then sell your current home later.......keep looking, there is a house for you somewhere.

So we put in a back up offer and that was over a week ago. Our realtor sskedasked the other realtor if there were any updates a couple days after we submitted it. The other realtor said "no updates". I asked ours to specifically ask if they would be accepting it...but the other realtor is apparently not responding to ours now. We even tried calling the sellers rearealtor directly a couple days ago. We left her a message and she didn't get back to us either. Weird thing is she had suggested that we make the backup offer on day 2 when we wanted to make an offer, but the house was already under contract. WWhy would she ignore us now? We assume either the seller doesn't want a backup offer, he doesn't think he needs one or there is always the possibility of something shady. Maybe his realtor didn't show ours because it is over asking ans probably more than what they accepted, as she had made the comment that "the seller hahad a number that he wanted to get to and once he got to it, he accepted." Maybe she actually encouraged him to accept it and it's less? Maybe it was a buyer that was represented by a friend or who the heck knows? I just don't see why a simple no thanks, we don't want your offer would not be sent our way. I know it's probably nothing sinister, but I wonder. Maybe sincsince the buyers options period is over, the seller is comfortable with that offer and sees no need for a backup. Maybe he saw ours was over asking and figures that he may get more from going back on the market if things fell through with his current offer. Maybe his realtor never even presented our backup offer. It's all so frustrating. I'm just looking for a sliver of hope, but reality is that we are incredibly unlikely to somehow get another chance at ththat house anytime soon.

Not sure why my typing gets so screwed up on this site. Maybe because it's the mobile version, but the site literally doubles some of my words and wonwon't let me go back and make changes without deleting all the way to the mistake...

Oh and at first, my realtor was getting dates to put into the backup offer from the other realtor. It's all confusing as to why they would 180 on a back up. It's not aas if it is difficult for them to sign.

That is an odd response from the sellers Realtor and the seller. I also wonder if the offer has been presented to the seller. If your agent hasn't heard back from the sellers agent, have your agent get in touch with the sellers agent's broker or office manager to get some action one way or the other. Make sure your offer has the 'backup offer' addendum attached to it and referenced in the contract form. We have specific language about the primary contract and the backup contract.

Thank you summersrhythm..you're correct. On top of their cash offer, the realtor was a big boob...lol. I'll take your advice...but I'm not looking right now...

Denita, oouour backup offer included the addendum, but no specific language in the contract itself, nor referenced in the actual contract. Could this be why we're being ignored? Is our realtor the issue? We do feel she is either inexperienced or just not that adept. We had to have her correct several things when she sent us the contract. To be honest, she worries us that she may cause us to lose a deal, due to her incompetence and our limited knowledge of real estate contracts. Most everything else, we're self sufficient with. We had never written a backup offer though.

The addendum has to be referenced in the contract offer so they know that the entire offer contains both the contract form and addenda. Most of the contract forms have a paragraph toward the end that lists all the available addenda and the agent simply checks the applicable one(s) to show which are part of the agreement. Backup language is in the addendum only.

If you are not comfortable with your agent's ability, then I encourage you to find an agent that you are comfortable using. You don't need the added worry that you have with this agent. Naturally, if you are in backup position with this purchase, you would need to stick with this agent for this process. Contact her broker/manager to express your concerns. He can assign someone to help her while you are in this backup offer stage. Its not a contract until the seller agrees with their signatures on the actual contract and all addenda.

I found this thread when I was losing sleep for missing out on our dream home. The property fell out of a contract and we were about to make an offer after Christmas only to find out that the contract was signed by both parties one day later. Our offer would have topped theirs and I don't think I can find a house that meets most of my criteria at a reasonable price. I was so upset that it has become a constant stressor and reason for insomnia.

It wasn't until a few days ago , my friend suddenly came to our door and asks if we could take care of their dogs for a while as they lost their forever home in a fire and has to stay in hotels. I was shocked and felt extremely sad about their losses. I realized that I already have so much. I have a stable place to live with my family and don't have to watch the places where children grow up burnt into ashes right in front of my eyes

It remains true that I might not be able to find an as good house that brings me both equity and pleasure but I do not have to have all the good things in the world. People experience loss and involuntary parting with their wishes and even loved ones and I am certainly not the unluckiest one in the world. Realizing that I couldn't have changed the past even if I could go back in time has brought me peace. I know I made the best decision I could at the time.

This is how I get through my grieving period of the house and I hope it could provide some comfort for people experiencing similar predicaments. The idea of a perfect house is temporary and can change as my job, age, or external environment changes over time.

You are absolutely right . i am so grateful for all i have. have not foind another house but still am hopeful the house for us is still out there.