Well, I think your daughter is right. Have you asked your kids to take any furniture that they could use? I would rather see my kids and relatives get some use from the good things than sell them for a song.

Having said that, are there any consignment or resale places that might be interested in some of your things?

I have known of many people your age who are building their retirement homes. My daughter's in-laws just completed their new house, and her father-in-law is in his late 70s.

I like to remind myself that so often what we think of as bad luck is really good luck, but we don't realize it at the time. Your not getting the condo is one of those times.

Build a nice little place you can enjoy. Perhaps you could rent there for a year while all the building is going on.

So many times, when something that seemed terrible at the time happened to me.... I found out down the road that it was a huge blessing in disguise.

I'm with your daughter--there's a reason why that wasn't the right place, right deal, right solution for you at the time.

Take a few days and a lot of deep breaths. Regroup and open your mind to all sorts of options--be creative.

What about your local senior citizen apts? What a great solution they are for someone your age. Both my mom and aunt lived in them (different towns, different complexes)--the apts were extremely nice, spacious, well-kept. In a commercial building, those apts, in this area, would have gone for between $1600-2000/month. Because they were subsidized senior housing? Mom paid something like $280/month, Aunt (who had a pension, thus a higher income) paid about $450/month. And they had loads of friends there, lots of activities, transportation provided. Worth looking into, isn't it?

As to your furniture? The value isn't what you paid for it, or what you wish it were worth, or even what it might be worth in, say, New York City--it's whatever you can get for it in the area where you are. And remember, whatever you sell it for, you've had the use of it for a time--that's worth something; a lot actually, in my book.

I know something better is waiting for you out there. Just be open-minded enough to accept this as part of your journey toward it.

Could could you do an auction? They do alot of them here. You won't get much for your good furniture, but you will get rid of stuff. It might be cheaper that putting the furniture in storage. I do hope your kids help you out, not $$ but emotionally with support. My kids would.

Do you really need to move? Why not stay where you are, just close off any rooms you don't use, they would only need a dust and vac every now and then.

"called her 6 times, leaving messages to send me a contract, etc"

The BUYER normally prepares a written offer and submits it to the seller.

Sounds like you need an RE agent to walk you through the process.

I do have my lot there and I am meeting with a builder to see what I can build a very modest house on that lot....love the location but hated to build at 70 years old!
Everything there is extremely expensive (for that little town) or absolute dumps!

It sounds to me like you're having difficulty even making relatively simple down-sizing decisions regarding the furniture. Others who have built would know better than me, but I have always gotten the impression that building is one decision after another and it's a grueling process at the best of times.

I agree with others about the renting suggestion. Put aside the "I paid a lot for it" thoughts. Figure out what you really really love and can't do without. Downsize, rent, simplify, re-group.

I have no idea if you're in a place with seasons, but in my neck of the woods, there is a lot of inventory that goes on the market in the spring. So if I understand correctly, you may have been looking at the absolutely worst time of year for selection. All the more reason to take a step back!

Hi Phoggie -

Did I miss a post or have you decided not to move in with your old friend? That seemed like a good solution to give you time to find something. As far as your furniture goes, you could always cull it down & rent a storage unit for the "keepers" until you find something.

I would not consider building at this point in life. That can be so stressful & as trilobite said, full of decisions.

I understand it will be hard to find the perfect house in a small town, but maybe something that you could settle for will come up for sale. If you stay at your friends house for a while, surely something else will open up? Have you considered buying her house?

Can you target a few places you really like & send them a nice letter stating you are moving back to the area and to contact you if they are thinking of selling? We did that when we were looking for a house once. We included an addressed, postage paid postcard with all of our contact info & boxes to check: YES, I plan to sell in the near future. NO, I do not have plans to sell. Believe it or not, we got all but a couple back. No one was selling, but at least we knew.

I didn't read all the responses, please forgive me if I'm repeating something.

Any time a seller suddenly won't speak to you, yells, says, spitefully, that (s)he has sold the house to someone else ("You didn't play with that doll so I gave it to some other little girl")...
in my experience, none of this has anything to do with what's really going on.

I'd bet a dollar that the condo won't pass a mold test, & the seller is angry because she thought you didn't know enough to check.

Find yourself a good, nice, experienced Realtor & don't put yourself through this kind of nonsense & who knows what other shenanigans an unscrupulous seller might pull.

On the question of whether it's meant to be, I'd say

1. you had a narrow escape &

2. a couple of times in my career, I've had buyer clients whose sincere attempts to buy a home seemed to be "snakebit".

No matter what we tried, we could not get the sellers to sell!

Reasons included:

new husband thinks his wife's house should sell for more than list price, even though my buyers offered full price, hoping that the house would squeak through the appraisal.

seller's kids decided to buy the old home place.

seller decided to rent the house out instead.

seller decided that the house might be worth more in the future because the city had announced that the road was to be widened to carry the traffic (!)

house was available the morning I called for an appointment but was under contract by the time I reached the listing agent after 9 PM to tell him we were to write a contract next day.

One couple made 8 "shopping trips" & wrote 8 offers, & I think the other couple wrote at least 7.

Both couples are now living in beautiful homes that far exceed anything we'd been trying to get:

one home had been reduced into our price range on the day we looked at it it had a nursery & a fenced yard & was in a neighborhood of young families, ideal for this couple who were ready to start a family), & the other had had a sale fall through, & the sellers were moving & had to sell pronto. That home, unlike the other 1970's-era homes we'd seen (plastic "Spanish" carving on cabinets, etc) had been modernized & had beautiful trees.

I wish you the best.

"no one here knows what Henredon and Drexel furniture is worth"

Used furniture is worth a small fraction of cost.

Well,the buyers came last night and nearly bought me out of house and furnishings!....they absolutely love every room color, the furnishings, etc....right down to the pictures and candle holders I have on the mantel~~ Now as she said, "We really don't need to do much but to just move in." Of course I didn't get the value of fine furniture, but most of it was my deceased husband and his first wife's...so except for my grandfather clock, no real sentimental value to me. The clock is so delicate that it is not easy to move and store and move again....and it fits the spot where it is and they loved it~~~....and after all it is just "stuff"~

DH's kids might not be happy with my decision, but I asked them if they wanted anything and only one spoke up and things were saved for her.....now it she only gets herself down here to get it....'cause it is a long drive from KS to Idaho~

They have permitted me to live here another month without any rent payment....so, I don't feel the pressure I did and now to be out before the end of this month.... I feel so much better about getting rid of the rest of the things and I'll know where they are and the people using them....and am looking forward to good furniture shopping trips WHEN I find/build a place to call MY house~

I do have the option of living with a classmate, who recently lost her second husband also....so at least I have a place to lay my head....and can store what I really want to keep at my son's....so I can have some time deciding if I want to build or I'll be there so it will be easier to find something to buy, without driving 4 hours every time I find one on the net and have also ran ads in their local newspaper....so all in all, after I have a huge garage sale, I won't have much to move...and I am so looking forward to being "back home" with family and friends.

(I have given renting a lot of thought and looked and looked and there is just NOTHING there to rent.)

Thanks friends~

Glad things turned out re: the furniture.
I found building was not as bad as some say, as long as you have a good idea what you want -- then the decisions are pretty much made already. Working with the builder is another matter, which entirely depends on how their personality meshes with yours.
If you build small, there are fewer choices!
Turtles Hope

How nice to hear that you have a handle on things. From the sound of your last message, you definitely have a plan and a positive outlook and a lot of things have been taken care of that had worried you. Good luck to you!