I disagree with your hubby and you could actually lose the house for showing no emotion.

I still haven't posted our events leading up to selling, but I can see when someone likes the house and when someone doesn't (or so I thought)

One couple came back twice, they told me how much they loved it but never made an offer, don't know why. Another couple came through, spent about 15 minutes and had no emotion, never telling me they liked anything. That night they put a low offer in.

We then had another couple the next day, the husband checked everything out, crawl, attic and every time he passed me; we originally were outside, I went in and showed them how to access the crawl, then excused myself. After maybe 10 minutes I went in for a drink, he mentioned to me how nice the house was, had a big smile on his face. I went back out, then when they were ready to go I asked if they had questions, they did. Once again, smiles, saying how nice the house was. I told him it won't be on long because we were negotiating; they immediately put an offer in.

I was torn on what to do but kept remembering how much the one couple liked the house and when both couples were at the same price, my agent (doing what he's paid to do) said he can try to see who would go higher. I said no, give it to couple #2 who obviously loved the house. I was very comfortable with the decision. Turns out they backed out during attorney review, and after talking to couple 1 I now see they do love the house but had their poker faces on.

I hope I don't jinx myself...

You complimented the home owners on their beautiful back yard. Nothing more nothing less. Hubby is over reacting. You can always walk away from a house if they don't meet your offer. I have no problem with showing interest in multiple homes in front of an agent. Don't go over board doing it. You can compliment the kitchen or you like the wrap around porch, that sort of thing. One thing we do not share with the agent is how high we will go price wise on a house we have been interested enough to consider making an offer. That is info we just don't like giving to anyone. NancyLouise

Several things:

1. If you ask to write an offer, both your Realtor and those sellers will know you're interested. Complimenting the sellers on their obvious hard work does nothing to reveal your hand any more than writing an offer does.

2. Realtors can only bargain as hard as sellers and buyers will allow. Even if a Realtor smells interest, they can't force you or the seller to come to terms.

3. Chances are, you will have to come up in price, and the seller will have to come down. Both of you. Depending on your market, it may be more lopsided. In most cases, however, both sides have to "move" toward the middle in order to see a deal through. That's not working the weakest link, IMO. That's bargaining.

I see nothing wrong with your comments. Now discussing your top price, what you're willing to offer, and raving about how much you love it and that you'll never find another house like this, etc., may indeed hurt your bargaining. But that's not what you did.

It's so funny, my hubby and myself always use strategy we call "good cop/bad cop". I'll gush over a home, my hubby disses the home. Smart realtors know that they have to get the couples to agree and start working on the "bad cop", my hubby in this case who is dissing the home. They know that the harder sell will be to the one objecting and not to the one gushing over the home. We've always found that the realtor works harder in a case like this to overcome whatever the objections are.

I'm guilty of making comments such as you made, but in my case they've always worked beause my hubby was making negative responses to my comments. Now if your hubby was also making gushing comments I think you'd be smarter not to show your cards.

Since it was an older couple who obviously love their home, complimenting them on the yard could work in your favor. When people sell a longtime home that they have put their heart and soul into they want to feel good about the people they sell it to, and could accept a lower offer knowing that you will take good care of "their" home.
And I don't know how your agent can get an idea of what you like if you don't show any interest in anything.

I'm glad you told the owners you enjoyed seeing their backyard gardens. Gosh, I'm sure they were pleased & I just don't see how it hurt any potential negotiations. Tell hubby to not over think his negotiating tactics. Complimenting somebody is just being friendly & showing good manners.

/tricia

So Roselvr - are you quietly saying "it"? Congrats for you (knowing that nothing is moving in the "neighborhood")

Annie, cross your fingers!

With the amount of money I have outside... they don't garden! I am almost sick thinking of what will happen to all of my plants.

I've actually seen sellers in a multiple bid situation take a lower offer on their home because "the couple loved their home". I've also seen sellers reject someones offer because they didnt seem to like the home enough (showed no emotion) and the seller felt they were not a good buyer because they didnt "love their house" and felt the deal wouldnt stick.

I'm in a situation where I worry a lot about money. But I hate to see money interfere with being gracious and polite. I'm sure it made the elderly couple feel good and hopeful that someone nice will buy their house. I suppose it could have weakened your negotiating power but how much does that matter?. I believe its law (?) that realtors have to submit all bids. You should have an idea of what a fair price is for the house and what you can or are willing to pay. If they can't accept that amount and think they can get more - that's the way it goes. If it comes to that tell your realtor to let them know you'd still be interested down the road if things don't work out for them with someone else.

I am on your side. You were polite and pleasant and I think that's a very nice way to be. I don't think it'll jeopardize your position for the reasons others have mentioned.

When we listed our last house, I wanted to move, but I wanted to bring our house with us - moved to another state - I loved that house. A couple came through and looked at it. We got feedback that the husband had played in our house as a little boy (when previous owners lived there - 30 odd years prior). We negotiated terms and they were going to buy the house. During the time between then and closing, my husband kept saying that he was afraid they'd back out (top of market it turns out). I knew in my gut that because the husband had played there, there was NO way the deal wouldn't go through. And it didn't. And I loved selling that house (which will be my all-time favorite house) to that particular couple.

There is nothing wrong with complimenting someone on their home.

The seller who admitted that they were selling because they couldn't keep up with the place anymore may also be getting an earful from his/her spouse. That could be viewed as bad negotiating strategy by suggesting that the house and/or yard is high maintenance.

I think you were just being gracious. I doubt that it would hinder your negotiations, if you decide to make an offer.

Thanks for all your comments. You were right. I called our realtor this afternoon to see the house again Weds so our adult children could go with us. When our realtor called the seller's agent, he was told they already had an offer. (after being listed 4 days) Seller's realtor is presenting it tomorrow afternoon. Our realtor met with us tonight to submit our offer. When our realtor called seller's realtor to tell her it was on the way she said "my clients are hoping that your people get the house. They really liked them and thought they were so nice." BTW I also petted the dog. I'll let you know if we get the house. Thanks for all your kind words.

Good Luck! I think your DH shouldn't worry so much about negotiating lower in Austin's market as it could likely make you loose a house as it isn't following the coastal trend, but rather going the opposite direction. , I don't think it matter what you said other than work in your favor this time.

BTW does this two story house have a master bedroom down? If not will you be in the position like the people selling potentially soon?

I think you did the right thing. Being polite and complimenting the house will have its own rewards/karma. Keep us posted on your offer!

I believe terriks is correct. We sold our home FSBO last year. We built it 7 years prior. It backed to a forest preserve and we spent so much time landscaping. Beautiful flowers and trees, berms, etc.

We had lots of interest from potential buyers. One couple wanted to pave the back and put in a volleyball court. Then a couple came who had already seen all the pics online. They had BIG smiles on their faces and oohed and ahhed at the beautiful yard.

I had not really wanted to move but had to for DH's job. Selling that house was like putting a child up for adoption.
We sold to the people who loved our plantings outside after the briefest of negotiations.

We still email back and forth with them. I'm kinda old (56)lol, but I believe that most people want their home to go to someone who truly loves it.

mpp - Good for you. I'm late to this posting, but I was reminded of the situation of our next door neighbors house.
They also prefered that a certain couple get the house and they were probably more open to negotiation than they would have been with someone they did not like.
It really is a business deal, but in the end, people are people.
What area of Austin are you looking in?

Thanks so much for all your responses. We heard from our agent today. Our offer was all cash, $2500 below asking, and they could decide when escrow would close. We were prepared to pay full asking if they countered. However, based on comps, our offer was fair. All I know about the other offer was that it came in before ours and was for full asking price. Seller's agent told our agent that we were chosen because the seller's really liked me and wanted us to have the house and that our offer was cash. The house has a master bedroom/bathroom downstairs and another bedroom and full bath downstairs. The other two bedrooms and game room are upstairs. It is in North Austin in Scofield Farms. Again thanks for all your support on this forum.

I don't think I would be outright rude to sellers (I usually save that if the negotiations get ugly), but I also keep my mouth shut. I do take notes on each house, though. Notes which the realtor doesn't need to see. His/her job is to present my offer and make sure they get the paperwork correct (you think that'd be easy enough but 4 of 5 houses they've messed it up), not to be privy to what I think about the house.

I also wouldn't buy a house that somebody else had an offer in on, though. For me it's strictly business, and the love comes later after I've made it my own.

FWIW, on houses that we've bought from people who used it as a rental (one of many) I bargained endlessly and tough and walked away several times. From the house I bought from the nice pregnant lady and her husband, um, not so much. I ended up taking a freakin' BATH on the nice pregnant lady's house because I didn't know how to or want to negotiate hard on the house.

Lesson learned.

Great news mpp, congrats!

Excellent mpp! What's your husband saying now about the comments you made???

Great news!
Enjoy your new home.

Wow, congratulations! That is the most definitive resolution to a marital disagreement I've ever heard of.

I hope your husband gave you a big hug and apologized for getting mad at you. Maybe he was just frazzled. House hunting is such an ordeal.

I'm obviously a little late on this, but I wanted to chime in because I am in the minority here - I understand why your husband warned you. I warned my husband when we went house shopping a few months ago. I did NOT discourage him from complementing sellers but I DID discourage him to openly gush about a house to both our realtor and the sellers. I did not want him to declare "I MUST HAVE THIS HOUSE" or anything along those lines in the presence of either of those parties. In the end, this seemed to be an appropriate strategy for us and I'm glad I approached it this way. During negotiations, I was surprised to learn how much information my agent and the seller's agent shared. Obviously some information was being passed on between agents - some trickled to me (and I'm sure some trickled the other direction). For example, when we received a counter offer of 20k higher than our initial offer my agent informs me that the counter offer was the price the wife wanted, while the husband wanted to counter-offer only 15k higher than our initial (15k off list)...so obviously this gave me some key information for making MY counter offer. In the end, we got 20k off of list, 10k higher than my initial offer. My point, however, is that it was clear that BOTH parties were sharing information and if either of us had declared that "We'll DIE if we dont' get this house!" then we may have been in a different position for negotiations. I can see where your husband was coming from.

When we bought our current place, we knew it was going to be a bidding war and that we'd have to stretch to bid above ask (way underpriced vs. comps). So we wrote a nice note to the owners explaining that we understood that they might get higher offers than ours, but that we really loved the renovations they did and planned to continue with the rest of the home.

Don't know if it helped but we did land it. The seller was present at closing and he was very gracious, and before the closing he let me in and showed me around. It just left a good taste in our mouths and hopefully spread some good hous e karma.

Buying RE is a business deal.
Nothing more, nothing less.

If it appears to my advantage to 'talk up' the house in front of the owners I will do so.

If it appears to my advantage to call the place a dump and point out every problem I will do that if needed.

I have purchased houses from estates (straight business), from elderly owners entering care facilities (depending on condition and price I may be very nice), from sellers with an very inflated idea of value (dump on the place), and from people just moving up and selling (if the price is fair no reason to be anything but polite).

I purchased my present residence from an older lady who was very sweet, and even apologetic about some of the problems (she pointed them out).
It was easy to reach a price that was good for both of us.
No reason to play hardball or really any games at all.

Sounds like you did great.