My daughter Gillian's forget-me-nots

15 years ago

Many of you have heard this story before, but I think there must be some who haven't. I hope it will give some some comfort to those who have experienced the loss of someone they will always love.

My daughter Gillian died on Memorial Day 2001. She was my partner in the garden, as well as in most other things, and for a long time I couldn't do a thing outdoors. Eventually I forced myself to mow the lawn, but the flower beds quickly yielded to the weeds, and the yard we'd loved assumed an appearance of decay.

Part of the garden is a old well that we had filled with rocks topped with soil. Jill and I planted it every year, and she took special pleasure in that spot of color in the center of a slab of stone. That spot, too reverted to weeds.

Then in the summer of 2003 a forget-me-not plant appeared on the outside of the stone slab. There were no other forget-me-nots in my garden, and our property is surrounded by woods. The plant bloomed, and then fell over toward the well, seeding it. The next spring the well bloomed in bright blue and white. I have no doubt the forget-me-nots and their beautiful message came directly from Jill. I know she wasn't asking me not to forget her, but not to forget the garden and the joy we took in it.

Here's how it looked that first year:

And here's how it looked a week ago, after a shower of apple blossom petals.

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Comments (22)

Mystical Manns
15 years ago
In that first picture, alisande, I can kinda see a heart shape, don't you??

What a beautiful story to share with us today. Thank you so much.

My own daughter has turned her back on her family because we're not *good enough* for the lifestyle she has chosen to lead. But I know she's alive and healthy and doing what she wants, even tho she has refused all contact for four years now. I cannot even imagine the pain that a total loss of her would bring.

Hugs to you for seeing and comprehending, Jill's message of love. And for honoring her by taking those painful steps back to your garden.
mcmann
15 years ago
Susan, what a wonderful reminder and what joy it must bring to you each spring when the flowers appear. It's obvious that you share a special bond with Jill. I'm glad that she is reminding you to live in the pleasure that your garden offers.
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I have started pulling up forget me nots as soon as they bloom. In the veggie garden I pull them up before they bloom. Still plenty left next year. That bell flower campanula is another story. The year I removed most my good perennials from a garden they had invaded because we were painting that side of the house, I used roundup on the companula. Most of it died, but I still do spot round up (with a big piece of cardboard in hand to shield the other plants) as some appear. They have huge white tubors 2 or 3 feet underground, and a new plant will grow from a piece of root so pulling them up can spread them! My other problem plant is the beautiful native white anenome. Its lovely, but totally takes over. I've been pulling that up, letting it stay in one bed only cuz its so pretty. I just read an article about gardening as you get older and avoiding this type of plant as well as really high maintenance perennials is what they recommended. Nice mounding plants that stay where you put them are what I like more and more! Good luck Micki, Kathy
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acey
15 years ago
Just a lovely remembrance...I know it is a message from Gillian
donna37
15 years ago
Beautiful remembrance and it does look heart shaped in the first picture. Wonderful story and so glad she was able to get Mom back in the garden with the forget-me-nots.

Stony, hugs for you and the fact that your DD is estranged from the family.
jannie
15 years ago
Very pretty,I think I have a package of forget me not seeds. Not sure if they are annual or perennial.
jannie
15 years ago
I'm so sorry your DD can't be with you physically, but you know she's there with those flowers!
lydia1959
15 years ago
The forget-me-nots are lovely and I'm sure they are from Gillian. (((((Alisande))))))

(((StoneyBaloney))) too.
Linda Wayman
15 years ago
Susan, what a beautiful gift from Gillian. I'm sure it touches your heart deeply whenever you see those. Thank you for sharing your story. I love hearing about her and seeing her picture. She was such a beautiful young lady, both inside and out.

((((Stoney )))) I'm sorry your dd isn't with you. I hope the day will come when you all will be reconciled. You are in my thoughts.

Linda
donna_oh
15 years ago
What a beautiful message!

(((Alisande))) (((Stoney)))

Donna (^_^)
gillian_41
15 years ago
Thank you for such a touching story and pictures.

Gillian.
glenda_al
15 years ago
Thanks and hugs for you!
adoptedbyhounds
15 years ago
Of all the flowers that could have shown up there...

Thank you for sharing, Alisande.
bunny_lover
15 years ago
What a wonderful message.
kathi_mdgd
15 years ago
Susan,
What a beautiful message,and i also see the heart shape.
TFS
Kathi
marilyn_c
15 years ago
Susan, I read that story posted by you on the Grief forum and wanted to tell you a similar story.

I love oddball plants. I wanted some yellow rain lilies, but they aren't native to this area...or, if they are, I have never seen them. We do have the white ones. I had seen a bunch of yellow ones growing on the side of a very busy freeway in Houston...where 288 crosses the 610 loop, but it would be risking your life to park there to dig rain lilies.

One day I saw a huge spot of yellow flowers in my yard. Thinking it was a more common weed, I didn't investigate at first...but when I did, it was yellow rain lilies, growing in profusion.

I sort of like to think they were sent by my mother...or perhaps they came from of one of the Houston possums that I rehabbed. Wherever they came from, I was very pleased when I found them.

Another plant I wished for showed up as well. I wanted an
American Beauty Berry. They are native here, but not common. I know this place like the back of my hand...had never seen one here. Walked out one day, and there was a huge one...covered in the purple berries. It was in an out of the way spot, but right on the trail that I walk when I go to the woods.

Here's the rain lilies.
Toni S
15 years ago
Immediately I thought Gillian's flowers were shaped like a heart . Maybe it doesn't look that way in person but the picture does! I think that's cool and that you are back in the garden with Gillian.
Pieonear
15 years ago
Alisande, I'm so glad that Gillian has found a way to remind you that her love and her presence are still near you.

Hugs,
Mammie
grammahony
15 years ago
What a warming story. I'm glad your forget-me-nots showed up. What a loving memory. ((((Stoney)))) hugs to you too.
Leslie
okwriter
15 years ago
Thanks for sharing that story, Susan. What a blessing!!
lindyluwho
15 years ago
Susan, thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. Through your stories and pictures of Gillian and now the forget-me-nots I know she will always be with you. I can tell she was a very special person...and so are you.

((((Susan))))

Linda
nodakgal
15 years ago
Your story bought tears to my eyes!
If you've shared it here before I had never seen it.I believe it was Gillian too.
((((Susan))))
alisande
Original Author
15 years ago
Thank you so much, everyone, for all the lovely responses. I've been most fortunate to have had many "signs" from Jill, and dream visits from her. Many of the signs have involved plants or animals. I often say that she is as creative and loving in spirit form as she was on this earth.

I really appreciate all your words and hugs.

Susan

My daughter Gillian's forget-me-nots

Comments (22)

Mystical Manns

mcmann

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alisande
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