You're never obligated to send a gift.

It's really your choice. Do you want to go? Doesn't sound like it so send your regrets.

Then, you have a choice of: sending a gift (given the situation, if you decide to, I'd make it something small, just a little remembrance--could be a pretty frame, or a nice photo album); or you could just send a card with your best wishes; or you can choose to send nothing.

There really is no 'right' in this situation. You aren't obligated to attend, nor to give a gift. You won't be wrong if you choose to pass on both those.

Azzalea said it beautifully. You don't know this girl from Adam, and it would be somewhat of a "hardship" for you to travel to the wedding. I would send my regrets but a nice card (no gift). Personally, it sounds like a "Bridezilla" grab for gifts...

I agree. Sounds like you have already decided that you can't go. Send a token gift if it would make you feel comfortable but if you really don't give a rat's a$$, then just send a card. That's what I would do.

I don't agree that this was necessarily a grab for gifts. The invite may have been sent out of a sense of obligation. I would send a card and no gift.

Ditto Azzalea.

I too would just send a card, mentioning that due to health reasons I could not attend, but wishing them a prosperous and happy marriage.
Marie

I see this as the neice and grandnephew wanting to include you in the happy news and milestones of the family. They want you to join them in celebration of this young couple, even if you cannot attend the wedding. I would send a congratulatory card or note, wishing them the very best as they set out in life together. That is all I would do.

I agree with Azzalea , Shelia and the others.

Rather than being offended, think of it as being remembered. A card with a handwritten note would be sufficient.

There are many people who would be hurt if they had not received an invitation.

I think I would send a nice card along with a modest gift card if you like. Apparently, they didn't send you notice of a "gift registry" so maybe they just didn't think it right to leave you out. Also, I would take into consideration how close they were to your husband. Whatever you decide would probably be okay.

I would imagine they included you in the invitations because your are family -- technically a great aunt by marriage.

That was polite of them.

It does not mean that you are obligated to attend, and I agree that a nice greeting card would be sufficient.

Your not obligated to do a thing. If you want to send something go for it.

To me it would depend on how much contact I had with his parents and other family members of your DH. Do you call each other? Write? If it's the first contact you've had since your DH passed away, I'd just send back the RSVP (assuming there is one) and let it go at that.

Monica said it best, think of it as being remembered. Even though your DH has passed, I think it's really nice they included you and still consider you family.

One of my sons got married last June and my other is getting married in 5 weeks. For both weddings each side was given a certain amount of people to invite. The bride and groom also had their own friends they invited. I included all of my family, some of which we do not see that often, but I know they would be hurt if not invited. I also invited some of my friends who really do not know the bride or groom, but are thrilled to be invited. My Dh has friends he met through work who are flying in from Alabama to our wedding in CA. They have never met the kids, but were incredibly honored to be included.

If you can't make the wedding, I'd send a hand written note/card of congratulations and also thank them for including you in their special day. I disagree regarding the bridezilla wanting gifts.

I agree with the others who said they included you as a relative. I would simply send my regrets I could not attend.

I would also send a nice card with or without a gift congratulating the couple.