Keepit, In your title you asked "Am I just going crazy..." and it is kind of interesting that you use the word "crazy" to describe what is happening and how you feel. You also said things were "jumbled up". I don't want to insert more drama into your situation, but have you considered that perhaps your fiance, for whatever reason there might be, could be "gaslighting" you. Here's a definition of gaslighting: Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse. It involves an increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to the subject, having the gradual effect of making the victim anxious, confused, and less able to trust his or her own memory and perception. A variation of gaslighting, used as a form of harassment, is to subtly alter aspects of a victim's environment, thereby upsetting his or her peace of mind, sense of security, etc. I hope I am wrong. People who gaslight do so because they either are narcissistic, have an agenda they do not want you to figure out, or they want to gain total control over the other person, or all of the above. It has happened to me before.

I feel exactly like you do sometimes. And I'm not even married, yet! We are planning it and we want to be married, but I could cut and run at any time. But our kids already have so much invested in us and eachother. And we have so much invested in eachother's kids. We love them and are involved (as much as possible) in their daily lives. I have triggers. I know this. And I'm not meaning to boast, but at least I can admit they exist. That, to me, is the first step to disengaging from a particular problem. I am a very introspective person. Always trying to avert a problem as soon as I see it coming. When I was having a lot of problems with my X, I started doing everything possible to change how I let him effect me. When I did that, he changed the way he treats me. Granted, it's not perfect, but it's a whole lot better than it was. FDH, on the other hand, is just now (after 6 years) realizing what his triggers are. He spent a long time in denial believing that he was handling everything just perfectly and that I just didn't know the whole story. It wasn't until we took a "break" that he did some long hard self-analyzation (which is never easy to do, especially for someone who thinks they're never wrong). He has a better perception of things now, as do I. But he's starting to slip back into the old pattern. I believe it's time again for a little introspection. It is my belief that if you (and I mean this as step parents collectively) really love these people you've dedicated a portion of your life to(all of them), you will stop every now and then and do a little self-analyzation to at least fix yourself. In turn, it will alter how others behave and react. It seems like you are doing this now. Don't give up! You're on the right track!

UPDATE: Thanks to you guys here (and mostly thanks to Joseph Corlett's link regarding Silestone slab sizes), they agreed to do away with one of the seams. They kept insisting that they would not do a stretch of stone more than 110", and when I insisted that my color of Silestone comes in jumbo slabs of 128", they "did some research" and conceded that I was correct, and there is no need for two seams in my 150" stretch of counter. I'm updating here for anyone who may have the same questions and issues that I did. I spent countless hours researching and digging and arguing, so hopefully I can save someone else the hassle. You can check the Silestone website for the slab sizes in your color. There is no need for a seam to "prevent cracks"; Silestone is (allegedly) 4x bendier than granite, and if you wanted to put the whole damn slab down you could. Keep in mind though - if your Silestone DOES crack or chip at some point (and it will...it's notorious for chipping despite the durability claims) - you're on the hook for it. Their "warranty" does not cover cracks or chips. Hundreds of consumers have told their stories about bumping a water glass against the edge and it chips, with no damage to the glass, and Cosentino denies the claims, citing abuse of the counter or something. Same with random cracks, etc. Just be aware - these are issues that you will have to call Joseph Corlett to come fix, out of your own pocket. I love the look of mine so I'm willing to deal with those issues, but buyer beware.

Fresh garden Living on Etsy has it. I have purchases several roses from Karyn. They are small but very healthy. Own root and organically grown. She's from Oregon and ships USPS so your rose arrives pretty quickly. https://www.etsy.com/listing/289262033/florentina-arborose-climbing-rose-bush?ref=shop_home_active_7 Sharon