My experience with difficult children is different from others. I am not motivated by fear, and that works for me.

Absolutely. People complain about how the world is different but fear and it is that allows the negative changes to remain.

Yes the days of Leave It To Beaver are gone but a touch of that may just be what does kids need. Can you imagine the Cleavers being upset about chalk? Sounds like the kids are into old fashioned fun. A friendly neighbor with old fashioned milk and cookies can't hurt. She could be a trusted adult that provides the guidelines that children need.

Sorry but an 8 year old with a life threatening allergy is old enough to know not to eat ANYTHING given to him/her by others. It is the parents responsibility to teach them that.
But OK easier to blame the neighbor or the school for not having a nut free zone.

Go Amy Go. I like how you are hanging in.

Wow, some interesting comments here! I agree that the kids should be able to chalk the sidewalk, but YES! they need to be talked to when they're in the flower beds! On a side note, my GD just turned 1 and we go on walks every day. When she strays off into a neighbor's driveway, I tell her that that's not her driveway and she need to come back onto the sidewalk. And she usually does. She's learning boundaries. It sounds like these kids haven't leaned "boundaries." This situation can be a way for them to to be taught the concept of boundaries (i.e. the sidewalk is public property, driveways and flower beds are NOT!)

It's so sad that everything that happens in life brings out the admonition that you better watch out or you're gonna be liable for this and that! Have any of you EVER been sued for such things or even known this to happen to someone you know? I don't know of anyone who has ever been sued. And I have no intention of living my life in danger of BEING SUED.

Redcurls, I have been sued and yes, I know several people who have been through lawsuits. I had a very, very dear friend who lost his life savings (about $70,000) just paying for a legal defense in the craziest lawsuit you could imagine.

I now have an umbrella policy, which I highly recommend. It provides an additional layer of protection in these litigious times.

So to answer your question, I know several people (myself included) who have been through lawsuits. It's a hellish nightmare of the highest order.

After you go through an experience like that, you learn to step very carefully through life.

Rose

Here is a link that might be useful: Website dedicated to making

"Sorry but an 8 year old with a life threatening allergy is old enough to know not to eat ANYTHING given to him/her by others. It is the parents responsibility to teach them that. "

Well....you may be right, but it 's also the parent's
responsibility to teach their kids to stay out of other
people's gardens, etc.. Now that doesn't seem to be
working out too well here, I'd say.

My neighbor's grandson (a boy about 5) has food allergies. After Halloween, I offered him a leftover candy bar. He said no, I can't have candy. Grandpa overheard and explained to me. He's a smart boy. I was just trying to be a nice neighbor. Grandpa does favors for me all the time, shovels snow, brings in my garbage cans, etc.

Those of you afraid of lawsuits....do you ever have any guests?

I would never assume a child knew to tell someone they couldn't eat something. What I've seen with today's kids and many of them are just totally clueless! I mean I saw a group of teens that had no idea the Titanic was real and not just a movie.

Hot dog! The old ladies are busy one-upping each other with the dire consequences that might occur because kids drew on a sidewalk and left some toys behind! I wonder who is acting more childish...the kids who are behaving like an undisciplined, unsupervised mob of wild 8-12 year olds out vandalizing the neighborhood - not even their own - or the silly scenarios.

Anyway, it's been fun. Hey! Call the cops and if they are too corrupt to take care of things, build a stockade fence to keep 'em out. I like the idea of "disposing" of their toys. Could be a money- maker.

Oops! I almost forgot the LOL!

I agree with arkansas_girl. Sure it's the parents responsibility but we all know what some parents are like! Are you going to give each kid a list of the ingredients to make sure they are not allergic to anthing you may have used? I think NOT! I think having a friendly conversation with the parents about the situation with the kids coming in the yard would be the first step. I would not get the police involved at this point.
As for lawsuits and having guests.....I am assuming your guests are not strangers off the street and you would know about their food allergies.

yes we have guests...and yes, i have 9 grandchildren...but they stay within the confines of their/our yards and don't go down a block away, other than 2 of my grands who are less than a block from the elementary school playground...and they don't take chalk with them, although they are allowed to decorate their driveways...

sherrman, we "old ladies" are speaking from experience, and most of us care very deeply for unsupervised children...as i'm sitting here listening to the detroit news who are still trying to find the murderer of 4-8 children during the "good old days" of the 70's oakland county...

sherrmann and Amy - If I ever get new neighbors, I sure hope they're just like you guys! :)

Saturday i saw a guy struggling to cut up his pruned branches to fit in his recycle bin. I introduced myself and brought him my trailer and took it to the dump. I supose he might have chopped me up too but i will take my chances. ;) thats how i roll. Move to puyallup....we claim josh powell but dont let him decide who we are gonna be.

I had something similar happen several years ago. While I didn't mind so much the chalk, I did mind the kids playing in my flower beds and front yard. Funny thing was they were not allowed to do these things at their own houses (I asked the kids). I told them just as they respect their parents wishes, they should also respect mine as far as the flower beds and yard. I let them do the sidewalk chalk with the understanding that they need to clean up. Not the best job of cleaning up, but at least they always tried.

I totally understand your feelings and I hope you can get the situation resolved without issue.

The thought that someone would check into graffiti ordinances over chalk says it all. Sounds like a the my yard has higher standards, don't park in front of my house neighbor. I suggest selling and move to an adult only community.

The poster told the kids to not play there. Done. But then comes here to ask for advice and makes statements like the graffiti one. All my sympathy went out the window with that one. Could understand not wanting damage to the flower beds. But the rest? it's a family neighborhood. Don't like it? Move.

For years our neighborhood hasn't had children playing outside since my children and their friends grew up. All working parents and kids institutionalized in school and daycare. Now more parents are staying home again or splitting hours to be home. It's so nice to see the kids outside again, riding their bikes,playing house and school and tossing balls around. I don't don't want to live in an old people's ghost town where everything is regulated and sterile.

Kids don't mind adults setting boundaries unless they are unfair ones. They have great BS detectors built into their systems. If you treat them fairly and with respect they will respect you. Treat them like a nuisance and they will live up to your expectations. Of course there are brats. But that is another issue. There is no evidence at all that these kids are doing anything other than being kids having fun.

They are not setting fires, torturing the neighbors cat or intentionally damaging property. They are PLAYING.

They left when asked to but the poster seems to assume the worst in them. As far as written it's not like they flipped her the bird or anything. LOL

Get the reputation of being the neighborhood crank and you will be treated like one. I see toilet paper in her future. Probably just before it rains.

Sounds like these are children having old fashioned fun. Kids - if they sit inside we complain that all they do is watch tv and play on the computer. Playing with chalk outside is not such a crime! I would also be upset if they were ruining my flowerbeds, but wouldn't hesitate to say "please stay out of the flowerbeds, they're delicate!" I'm sure these children would heed. They don't seem the dangerous gang-type. Let them be kids.

And I am in the camp of "haven't been sued and don't know anyone who has".

I wonder if they have been back? You nicely asked them to not play in your yard and flower beds. I hope you also asked them to remember to take their toys home with them.

Hopefully that is all it takes. If not, a visit with the parents might be in order.

Sidewalk chalk, I love it when I see it, just makes me smile to think of the fun those kids were having. On the sidewalk? Just smile and enjoy it. On your driveway? well, you did ask them to not play there, so hopefully that took care of that.

Leave it to Beaver was a TV SHOW. Yes, granted, I walked all over by myself (not in the fifties, but later lol), but guess what? There were NASTY nasty people back then too, just ask my Mom about her childhood. No digital cameras, recording devices, internet, 24 hour news. The fifties were very far from perfect.

I hope those children stay out of your flower beds. I hope you can learn to enjoy their sidewalk art!

Oh, and I DO KNOW my neighbors. I know most of them in our 40 home neighborhood. Some really well, some just enough to wave and say hi. I know most of the kids. If you (you in general, not the original poster. lol) don't know your neighbors, well, whose fault is that?

Again, I thank each of you for taking the time to respond. I appreciated reading all of your different points of view...some more than others, of course. :-) By the way, I do know the neighbors on my street which is how I know these children do not live on my street or play with any children that live on my street. The activity from these children seems to take place mostly on Sundays, so I will see if they honor my request next weekend.

As you do know the neighbors and the children on your street, you might discuss it with them--IF they come back and appear to do what you reported again. That way you will have local support. As to the other information, just pick out what you think will work and throw the other stuff out. You know the situation and I am sure you will come up with a valid solution. good luck and enjoy meeting more of your neighbors. Good luck
Marie

oh, that knowing neighbors thingy wasn't directed at you fun2, it was a comment that some one else posted about nobody knows their neighbors anymore! lol looks like only the top 3 paragraphs were directed at you! Threads always go astray!

Kat_wa, I didn't take offense. Our neighborhood is, in fact, not a neighborhood where everyone knows each other. While those of us on our street do know one other, we don't socialize as a group. We are more like nodding acquaintances.

Reminds me of the time when some children were playing in my yard and they kept going into my flower beds. I was planning on going out and decided to put the ring leader in charge in hopes of having some plants left by the time I returned. So I told her to watch out for the others and the plants.

As I was walking to my car she crossed her arms and marched over to the wall by the garden huffing, "Now I'm gotta sit here and watch the plants!"

According to the law in my land, you're already liable because once you're aware that children come onto your property you should make it safe for them.

Get to know them, you'll be surprised how entertaining they can be. Once I invited a group in to make banana bread and they ended up doing everything themselves and we had lots of laughs. Before that they were almost a nusiance in my eyes because of almost the same reasons you stated - bikes and balls all in my yard and 'tacky' chalk drawings in my car park.

lol @ Amy!

I had an incident a couple of years when someone was in "love" with Jorge and thought he lived at my address and chalked my sidewalks with love sayings and tp'd a small tree. I filed a police report and they came out to investigate. Took DS a long time to power blast the chalk signs from the sidewalk. The policeman said I was lucky they didn't use paint and write on the car.

Check with your city to see if you can put up No trespassing signs or keep off lawn signs.
If it continuers you can file a nuisance complaint.

I just have to stop returning to this. Smh.

Amyfiddler, you make me smile. I wish YOU were my neighbor.

Yeah, me, too, amy.

Me three Amy! :)

It suddenly occured to me as I was walking around my neighborhood today that some people just don't give a crud what their place looks like and HECK sidewalk chalk would be an improvement. But for people like me(and fun2behere) that keep my lawn mowed, pick up the trash that blows in my yard, pull weeds, edge the drive, trim my shrubs(so on and so forth)...this sort of thing would DRIVE ME CRAZY! But I can that others that don't really care what their place looks like wouldn't give it much thought...

Since I do not suffer from OCD, arkansasgirl, I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for those who do. My house and property are lovely, well-kept, kid-friendly, and the people in it are happy and tolerant. I hope you can find a good balance in your life. To me, chalk and children, a happy, calm home mean joy.

Arkansas. Your post suggests that those who don't get upset about kids on property or who chose to handle it in ways other than 911 calls are trashy folks who have nothing to preserve.

I don't think that's fair. It certainly isn't accurate. Even borders on being unneighborly. Let's not be that way.

Kindness is becoming a lost art - but it's still an option.

So now if you keep a nice place you are OCD? That should be "CDO" with the letters alphabetized as it should be...HAHA!

I think it's best to agree to disagree at this point.

Arkansas_girl, I know there are some neighborhoods that have very strong restrictions monitored by a homeowners' association. Some people hate that sort of environment and others appreciate it. I'm sort of in-between. I don't mind if someone paints their house purple or puts up a basketball net, but I don't want neon chalk pictures on the sidewalk and driveway of my house. I guess we all have different tolerance levels.

I think Amy should play us a song on the fiddle to calm us all down!!! :)

I take requests. ??

Can I be a fourth?

If we could find cards and a table ... maybe we could get gamey!

ole joyful

Gee, I almost feel left out. Usually I'm the one accused of antagonizing people.

Couple things. For the ones who think a "no trespassing" sign will indemnify you from liability, feel free to call your insurance agent and cancel your insurance. Cost of a couple signs is cheaper than insurance, right? After the agent picks him/herself up off the floor laughing their tail end off, they can fill you in on the real world.

Next is the driveway/sidewalk misconception. Of course it depends on locality, but here, there's 15' of easement for utilities and streets and gives public access on that portion of the property. So if kids are playing on that easement, technically there's not much I can do. The amount of the easement often varies but most places have such an easement and if "your" driveway is on it, you don't control it. Here, and many places, you can't even put a fence out to the curb since you don't own the right to do it, and naturally your driveway would be impacted similarly.

Next, taking their property and selling it? Well, that could be problematic. Many places have ordinances on abandoned property, which presumably is what some of you are claiming when you say take it and sell it or trash it. I'd think that tossing it would be more defensible claiming you were "cleaning up" your property.

Protecting your sprinkling system and garden beds? I would. I think a chat would be a nice start. Ask them to not leave the toys because it's troublesome to have to throw them all the time. Ask if they could chalk the streets. They might. I'd probably also inquire as to why they're on this street rather than where they live. Could be a reason that could be dealt with.

And I'm not going near the debate of "God's little angels" vs. "They're all brats". That pendulum roars past common sense.

I'm wondering if the folks who want to buy the world a Coke, would you just send a check (or cheque if Canadian) instead?

I'm one who lives in a planned community with strict CC&Rs/homeowner's association. We can't leave our garage doors open for something like more than an hour (of course we do it all the time because we're the 'go to' house for block parties, just haven't gotten caught). We can't leave our car parked on the street for more than 36 or 48 hours in a row without moving it and anything you want to build over 18" high needs association approval and the signature of neighbors on each side, behind and across the street. Last month it took us six weeks to gather all those signatures so we could get all new doors and windows.

But ... you can paint your house any color you want as long as it's in the association's set of approved brown, tan, gray and white color chips. Oh wait, they added blue a few years ago. But before we all found out about the new blue, there were plenty upset with the new neighbors who came in and added powder blue to our brown and gray street.

With that said, it really doesn't matter how I feel about sidewalk chalk, if the association sees it or neighbor complains, we'll get a couple warnings to remove it and if we don't comply, the assoc hires someone to remove it and sends us the bill. Now sidewalk chalk is and easy fix and really no big deal but they do the same 'notice, notice, collect payment for services rendered' on things like landscaping (no dirt is allowed to show), old roofing, wonky garage doors, etc., etc., etc., issues.

I couldn't actually find our CC&Rs to verify the sidewalk chalk scenario but after living in the same community for 32 years, I'm pretty sure if chalk was left on the sidewalk, our driveway or other visible place for a set amount of time, we'd hear from them. Now if only they were as serious about stopping the four dogs behind us from barking constantly night and day.

Jodi-

Can I be fifth...then we could eat cookies and munch on chicken legs! LOL!

Cynic, I am wondering the same thing...why don't they play & chalk up their own sidewalk/driveway!

I got a kick out of whoever did this. A couple of summers ago, someone chalked in the street "take down the eggs, for crying out loud. Easter is over!"

The people across the street had hung plastic eggs on a tree for their little girl and had not taken them down. Neither the eggs or the chalk bothered me, and I keep my yard and surrounding areas neat and tidy.

But I hate it when my grandchildren or their friends get in my flower beds!

No problem here--no sidewalks and we face a main street going both into town, (left turn) or go thru-- a short cut from the Hwy 83 (runs from Canada to Tex) all they have to face is grain trucks, fracking trucks, motorcycles on the weekend and a main trucking business, along with a grain elevator right accoss the road. NO problem.

Just one thought...when I was little, there was a crabby old lady who would come out and yell at us if we were even playing NEAR her yard. Needless to say, we delighted in daring each other to put a toe in. You can either be that crabby old lady, or be a NEIGHBOR. Yes, you said they don't live on your street, but they are still your neighbor.

Amy, "won't you be my neighbor?"

You want a funny story....after this thread and my post..about sidewalk chalk not bothering me..I came home on afternoon to find my black mailbox front covered in blue chalk! LOL The chalk on the street didn't bother me, but to be honest it did bother me on my mailbox.

littlebit

I bought the little girl of our new neighbors a big container of sidewalk chalk when they moved in, lol!

Fun2Bhere - here's what I do:
I tell them they are more than welcome to play at my house, but I need to meet their parents first.
They can come back when their Mom or Dad is along so I know it is okay with them.
This works for 2 reasons...MOST parents want to know what their kids are doing. 2nd, kids dont always want their parent to know what THEY are doing!
When (if) the parents come, find out where they live and a phone number. Responsible parents will tell you to send their kid home if they are a problem.
Kids that dont bring a parent need reminded every time they show up, they are not allowed to play unless you meet Mom or Dad....

Finally someone is making sense. Great solution, Salgal!

Good thought, Salgal, and I understand how that might work. However, the children really are not welcome to play in my yard, so I don't want to even put that thought out there. Anyway, I didn't see or hear the children this past weekend. Perhaps they were playing on some other street.

Couple of things.....
Is it only Fun2BHere's yard they are playing in and only her drive and side walk they are chalking up?
If so....why is that? and if not...what do the others think....have they gone ballistic over the "intrusion"?
And did it ever occur to you that by washing the chalk off the sidewalk you are providing them with a nice clean surface to draw on again? Just try leaving it there....I'll bet they won't add to their drawings.

When I was a child I was allergic to all manner of stuff and it was a rule that I couldn't eat anythning without showing my mother what I was given and getting permission. So when my kids and grands were little, my words were.."Run home and ask your mother if you can have a cookie". Of course the answer always was "she doesn't care"...but I would insist....or say "well then I'll save the cookies until you are ready to go home then give you some."

Another thing, often when there is something that "annoys the hell out of me"...I discover that the problem is my attitude and if I adjust that, I am a much happier person.
Linda C

First, let me be clear. The chalk drawings were obviously related to some game the children were playing. It wasn't anything malicious. The way our cul-de-sac is formed, I'm the only one with any real frontage. For the other houses, the area is pretty much just their driveways. My next door neighbor, as he was scrubbing the marks, just sighed and said he was thankful it was chalk and not crayon.

I've always heard children playing on the next street over. I guess now that they are older, they are ranging farther afield.