She had a nice stable biological system internally and externally. Year after year, she'd get older and grow bigger and there's usually not too much fuss or muss about it. It's nice and predictable and stable. Then puberty begins, bit by bit. 'Hormones raging' doesn't even begin to address the magnitude of the kinds of changes. At 12, she now has this biological capacity to face pregnancy (she probably feels acutely just how young she is). Brain-wise the changing hormonal system will also affect the way she perceives things, and give her some new depths possible for her feelings and motivations. And all that is new and developing. Privacy usually becomes way more important. Issues of autonomy/independence are going to be way more important. The thing is she can 'feel' like an adult, with sensitivities and about 'respect' even though she has no practical experience with how to have those kinds of reciprocal relationships. You can use the exact same language you did when she was 10, and she can feel horribly slighted and insulted beyond all belief now (and act that way). You're an adult and have been for a while probably so you can have the kind of internal and external stability that will enable you to view this as 'she's changed' like she should just change back (or like she could change back). ... Puberty is individual, and people endure and experience it in all kinds of ways personal to them. It is also a time where some disorders will begin to show symptoms which can mimic normal adolescence. If you want consultation about the extent of behaviors you find troubling, or if you worry about what could be abnormal ask her doctor to recommend someone you can talk to (someone who has clinical experience with adolescents). Otherwise, the basic changes described sound normal enough and should not interfere with her or your functioning. the upside is you can probably make more headway now, by applying adult empathy (if you were acting how she acts, were feeling how it seems she must feel, what kinds of things could a mother do for you to help?)

Talk to your family doctor and/or your child's pediatrician. Get a referral to a family counselor whose has expertise with adolescent and step family issues. Basically, if you have a situation where he needs help and things you've reasonably tried and which should normally work have not been effective, then it's a good time to consult and work with outside experts to get some fresh insights. The reason to get family counseling too, and not just single out the 12 year old even though it seems like he is clearly the focus, is so that the family dynamic can be altered in such a way that your 12 year old _can_ change his patterns. Otherwise, even if he does get good therapy (counseling, cognitive behavioral, or whatever) and can change himself, the force of the family dynamic can keep things from changing... so that counseling never seems to work even when it would have been effective. You might want to also discuss the possibility of neurological problems with his pediatrician. Try to find out if there are any diagnosable problems that would need their own special attention... ADHD/ADD, cognitive or mood disorders, learning disabilities of any kind, or anything else. If there is a probability that something of this kind is coexisting in him with the present conduct problems, then he might be better served by a child psychiatrist who has expertise with adolescents, than by a child counselor. You can also schedule a meeting with his teacher or teachers. Ask them how they view your son's academic performance and how they view his facility or lack with social skills, and general coordination issues. Ask them for their opinions, and why they think and feel the way they do if they would be kind enough to recommend anything that could help. Teachers are usually not doctors, or counselors so the teacher may or may not be greatly helpful. But, as an adult in your child's life who has worked with him and who have opportunities to observe him, any of his teachers can be a good source of additional information you can use. Adolescence is complicated. People want the feeling of independence and respect (parents, and children both). Parents have usually been able to 'force' it if it was not naturally forthcoming. Adolescence is a time when the children are beginning to have the developmental ability to both say, and mean 'no.' Granted, they have no experience and they can use words and phrases involving hatred, or worse. The parental tendency is to try to use what worked before 'force' and that tends to reinforce an already ugly situation when there is conflict. (Family counseling, aside from any individual work can help you learn new ways to manage family conflicts in a more communicative manner with less animosity.) seriously, get professional support and help because although this kind of thing can be normal and helpable through counseling and learning new ways to manage stress and conflicts it can also be the case that the child has problems which require more specialized help so that he can be able to function more effectively

It is my first time staining a deck, so please bear with me. Previous owner stained the deck with solid red brick color. Since it's solid, I will keep using a solid stain. I am going to use the same solid color, except I would like to change the railings to white. Do I need to strip the old stain? If I use the solid white stain on top of the old stain, it won't be absorbed? (then washed off?) If I have to strip all of old stain, what is the best way to do this job? Or can I use the paint instead? Any suggestion is appreciated. Thanks! Michelle

We use Diamond Vogel opaque deck stains with good results. Needs to be renewed about every4-5 years. As bad as that wood is, however, I would not expect too much. Were it my deck I would set all the nails, rent a floor sander and try to get down to good wood before staining. To answer your questions: 1. Can anyone tell what type of wood my decking is made of? Treated pine 3. Can I wood-fill smaller cracks and splits instead of replacing? No. Wood filler is not for unstable environments like a wood deck. 4. Do I need to prep my railing differently than other surfaces? Only the top of the rail should be weather-worn. Sand it down before staining. 5. If I replace some boards, any tips for trying to blend the old and new boards? Blending is not really possible. The new wood is full of treatment solution and will take stain differently than old wood. The usual recommendation is to let new wood sit for a minimum of six weeks before staining.