My sweet grandmother was the dutiful wife of a poor minister during the early 1900s. Without consulting her, he came home one day with several fruit trees to plant in their backyard, which he promptly did.

Now it messed up her backyard laundry lines, and the birds that were attracted to the blackberry trees often soiled her laundry for her family of 6. This was the era prior to automatic washing machines.

Grandma remained her sweet self, and every time she went to the backyard, she filled her apron pocket with salt and sprinkled it over the root zone of the two trees that gave her the most laundry grief.

Poor grandpa never could understand why those trees were ailing and eventually died, giving Grandma clean laundry on her clothes line.

My mom is almost 88 yrs. old and forgetful at times, as is expected. She lives in Miami. I will get a call from her at least once a week on my cell. I will answer, "Hello, mom, are you ok?" She'll say, "Who is this and what do you want?" I'll say, "It's me, mom, you just called me on my cell." She'll say, "No I didn't. I don't even know your cell number." We will go through this routine at least once a week... and the conversation never changes!! Gotta love them!

My Mom will be 95 in August. When we got rid of our land line I went to see her and told her she would have to call me on my cell now. She said "I don't have a cell phone". Thinking of course you have to call a cell phone from a cell phone. She does call my cell phone now but one day I was in the shower and she called, the message said "I called but you weren't home".

Back in the early 60's DH & I sropped by my Moms house with our two sons for her to care for, while we went on to the hospital to have our third child. My DB had three boys and with our three, Mom made her wishes known, as she took DH by the collar, shook her finger in his face and said "Do I have to draw a picture of what I want this time?It was with joy (and relief) to be able to call Mom and tell her she finally got a grand daughter. Mom had cancer and lived almost two more years to enjoy all her grandkids. Dottie

These stories are wonderful.

Sheilajoyce, that's hilarious!

My Mother is going to be 95 this July and she is now in a nursing home. I call her twice a day. One day I called and she tells me, I don't feel gay anymore. I told her Mother I never knew you were gay! Another time her doctor comes in to see her and when finished with the exam he asks her if there is anything more he can do for her. She told him he could wind her big wall clock, and he did!!! I wonder what the doctor charges to wind clocks, hee, hee.

Sue

My mom died 39 years ago today......and I still really miss her.
When my DD was born my mom and dad came over to visit. I had fixed ham, scallopped potatoes and a vegetable. Mom ate her dinner with gusto and while still sitting at the table chatting, she kept picking up little pieces of ham and nibbling on them. I finally told her she should just cut herself a slice and enjoy it. She smiled sweetly and said the little tiny pieces were for our son, who was 18 months old......but he never got even a taste. She loved ham and usually didn't have it because of her high blood pressure.
My mom was well liked by all my friends.....and one guy I dated for a while used to call her up just to chat after we broke up. He even came to visit.

For the last 15 or so of my Mom's 93 years, she was diabetic. Fortunately she had an easily managed case of it and took a small dose of whatever diabetes pill she was prescribed. The visiting nurse came to the house a couple times a month and did a blood sugar and occasionaly an A1c. The results were always in the good range, so she insisted that she was not diabetic and didn't need that dam pill. It was only one of the 15 to 20 she took daily. No amount of reasoning changed her thinking.

Both my sister and I lived far from Mom, so we both called her a couple times a week. After being on the phone for a half hour or better of idle chit chat, she would finally say, "Ok, who am I listening to"?

Mom was somewhat of a pack rat. For as many years as I can remember, I'd say 20 or better,she subscribed to the Readers Digest. When she passed away there was at least 10 years worth of the Digests stacked in corners that had never even had the mailing cover removed. She said that someday someone would come along and want to read them, so we were not allowed to move them. All those years, she gave gift subscriptions for the Digest to all 3 of us kids and her grandkids from the time they went out on their own so it wasn't any of us who would read them. She insisted that we leave them right where she put them "just in case".

This is about my grandmother - she was sick once and called my uncle, whose telephone answering machine had the male computer voice that said "The person you called is not home, please leave a message". Not understanding how answering machines worked, she thought it was a human and said "This is Roy's mama - tell him I'm sick!"

Uncle Roy said they really got a chuckle over that message.

Not a Mom story, an aunt story. My dad was the youngest of one sister and six brothers. His sister Theola (Toley) was the oldest. When she got old, she went blind and also had memory problems. She would eat breakfast, and a half hour later call out to her daughter and ask her to make her some breakfast. Lunch and dinner were the same. Aunt Toly was always overweight.

I feel sure I've posted this before, but bares repeating.

We took Main Man's 90 year old Mother on a Motorhome trip to Beaver Lake Arkansas. We parked the Motorhome in backwards. But, after a couple of hours we decided to turn the Motorhome around for a better view of the Lake.

Upon hearing that we were going to turn the Motorhome around, Mom says "Oh don't turn the Motorhome around, I'll never find my way to the restroom again."

Then she wanted to call her Grandson using our Cell Phone. We tought she had used one before. She picked up the TV remote control an said "How do you use this thing anyway, I can't hear a thing".

On the same trip. We went to the Glass Chapel in Eureka Springs. Sat quietly and said a prayer. You could hear a pin drop in that Chapel. Mom, "puttered" all the way out of the Chapel. It echoed all round the Chapel. Then she was snickering about it at the same time. Then she says "Oh Lord, I'm gonna wet my depends".

I didn't sign the Guest Book! LOL!
Gayle

Can I tell a Great Grandma story?
When I was 7 or 8 Mom and I stopped in to check on Great Grandma on our way home from town. GG was in her early 90's at that time and living by herself out in the country. When she came to the door her arm was bruised and her face was scratched up. Mom said "Grandma what happened?" She replied "Oh, I fell going out to get the mail." Mom suggested that maybe she should get a cane. GG got all puffed up and exclaimed "I"m not gonna get a cane. Canes are for old people!"

Ron

Really great stories!

This is a Mom and Dad story. They are like Laurel and Hardy sometimes, I swear. Mom is the more sensible one, and Pop is the "aw, shucks", loveable jokester.
One day Mom needed to return something to Home Depot. My Dad drives her there and stops out front to let her out. He puts her car in Park and pops the trunk. My Mom is back there getting out whatever it is sheÂs returning when Pop starts to drive off! Here is my Mother half hanging out of the truck being dragged behind him screaming as loud as she can. Of course, Pop is hard of hearing. He finally sees all these people yelling and motioning for him to stop, which thank goodness he finally does. He realizes now what is happening as my Mother stomps up to the driver window and yells at him "What the H___ are you doing?" To which Pop replies "Sorry, my foot slipped." My Mom is like, "Your d___ foot didnÂt ÂslipÂ; you canÂt pop the trunk on my car while itÂs still in Park." Busted Pop!
I laugh to this day over that one.

My Mom's story is when she was dying & I was taking care of her & it was "typical" Mom (she had me going. . .) OK, she's in the hospital bed in the living room and her body is shutting down 2 days before she died. So, she's kinda crunched up in the bed and I tell her I'm gonna lower the head of the bed & pull her up & then raise the bed. Which I did. And then Mom (in her jogging suit) tells me "You pulled my pants down" I got all flustered & told her "I'm so sorry, I'll lower the bed again, fix it. . . .etc." and she just gave me that grin and said "Just kidding." I miss her so much. . . .

My mother has been gone for more than six years and I still miss her every day. She was fun and funny and smart and quite eccentric and a whole lot of fun. She finally came into her own after my father walked out one night after 30 years of marriage. The first three years alone nearly killed her, but then she really FOUND herself.

One example of my wonderful mother's sense of humor. Years ago, she received a phone call from a panicked woman who yelled, "Ruth! Ruth!!, This is Mary and I can't find Susan! I've looked everywhere!"

My mother replied, "You have bigger problems than you think. You can't even find Ruth!"

Rose

Rose - your story made me LOL!!!!!

I've told this a couple of times, but in case anyone didn't see it the first time....and it still makes me laugh.

My mother was in her 90's and in a nursing home. She didn't recognize me or anyone else any more. I went to see her one day, and tho I had my hair cut short, I was wearing make up. But, she mistook me for a man.

She started out like she did when she talked to anyone.

"Are you married?" I said, "Yes, I'm married."

She said, "Does your wife work?" I said, "I don't have a wife, I am a wife. I'm not a man, I'm a woman."

She said, "I mean, does she cook and keep house?"

I said, "I cook. I keep house. I'm not a man. I'm a woman."

This went on for a few minutes. Finally, since there was no one in the room but us, I pulled up my tee shirt and showed her my breasts. (I wasn't wearing a bra.) I'm not talking small breasts here....at least a 36 C.

She broke out into a huge laugh. She said, "Well! I've never seen that before!!! Titties on a man!!!" Then she added, "You should wear a brassiere."

That was my mother...strong willed. You never changed her mind about anything. And she was sooo funny. :))

These sound more like 'old mom stories' than just 'mom stories' but my mom was only in her late 60s in this story. I've probably told it before.

Many years ago when I worked in a hospital, I bought my mom a 'Lucky Bingo' troll, like Maryann collects. It was one of the bigger ones, with a head about the size of the palm of my hand.

A few years ago, DH and I were visiting my parents and he wanted to go to bingo with them so we went along. My mom pulls out this troll doll and props it up on the table as her good luck charm, like many bingo players do.

Well, I looked at it and half it's head was gone/smashed in and it had tire tracks running over it! I asked 'what happened to that troll?!' and she nonchalantly answered that it fell out of her bingo bag when she got out of the car and my dad had run over it with the car. She added 'I have the other eye in the bag somewhere.' As if there was anything left of that side of it's head to attach the missing eye to.

I bet she still pulls that troll out when she plays bingo. He doesn't look that lucky but he must still work - she's been on a winning streak.

Oh, these are so funny! I love this thread. YaYa, your mom is a hoot and you are just like her.

My mother is a constant source of amusement. Christmas Day Dinner, she asked me where she was supposed to sit and I pointed over to the chair by the wall and said "up against the wall". She didn't hear me so I repeated it loudly, like a cop would "UP AGAINST THE WALL!" and she immediately started hollering "Don't TAZE me, Bro!" lololol We all died laughing.

Then a few weeks later I was spending the night at her house because we were leaving early in the AM for a DR appt for her (Pops was out of town) and it was bedtime, we were both just puttering around. She was coming towards my room and I assumed a karate stance to make her laugh, but she got me- she saw me, jumped into her own litte 5 foot tall stance and said in her cute little voice, with a foamy toothbrush sticking out of her mouth- "my entire body is a weapon!" roflmao, I fell on the bed just hooting, she made me laugh so hard. She is so quick.

Flamy - I remember your "Don't TAZE me, Bro" story and have told so many people who have gotten a laugh from that one. Your mom sounds like a HOOT!!!

My mom LOVES babies. I mean LOVES babies. At family gatherings we tell young mothers "Don't let Aunt Scarlet get the baby or you won't see it for the rest of the night" LOL. She also SNEAKS them things.

Her favourites are chocolate icing and whipped cream. Or giving them a rib bone (cleaned, and not chokeable size) to gum. Once I found DD happily sucking on the outside of a crab leg. I was about to get upset, then my mom looks at me in wide eyed innocence and says "Well, it's not a PICKY one!" - like that explains it all LOL.

My mother was a nurse, so we often had dinner conversation that was not for the faint hearted or weak stomached. One of the first times DH ate with my family, he almost spit out his food when she told a story about a friend at work that does those parties, with the "novelty" items. She was driving a jeep with no top and got into an accident, flipping several times. At the same time, these "novelty" items were flinging all over the road. After the accident the police were trying to gather up her things, and they kept walking up to her and saying "Ma'am? Is this your (expletive)?" and the girl didn't know whether to say yes or no ROFLMAO!

Of course, my mom used the actual words. MIL won't even say the word "ovary" in mixed company. Poor DH nearly had a heart attack LOL.