I think its still grief and anxiety.

When family dies, a lot of people tend to worry about the remaining family excessively for a while after, too. Especially in freak accident type settings, or surprise illness that progress quickly etc etc. And I know 10 months is actually a good amount of time for a dog. But for us humans, 10 months isn't near long enough to accept and deal with something before it happens.

The thing with dogs, is you can't often tell somethings wrong, until it's really wrong. They can't tell you they have headaches, or stomachaches, until they get bad and something seems wrong. Just think, if you had more than one human child and one of them passed, wouldn't you worry quite a bit more about the rest of them after?? Pets are our babies.

I don't think what you're experiencing is abnormal at all, especially when your pets are the only things you have to spoil rotten and lavish all your love on. The only thing I would be cautious of, is getting to the point where the worrying affects you so much that you're unable to enjoy them as much as you should. If you find yourself constantly in a panic over them, to the point where you can't just relax and have fun with them, then you need to re-evaluate things, I think.

Some people might think it's silly, but I see nothing wrong with seeking someone to talk to when a pet dies. Especially if they held such an important position. For some people pets are just pets, but for a lot of people they're family and kids.

I'm going to be in the minority, but...

First, let me say that DH and I have six Goldens and no kids. I adore my dogs and like many here, will go to the ends of the earth for them. They sleep in our (king size) bed. And yes, I worry about them too.

I don't think anyone can love their pets too much. But I do think that they can obsess on them because they expect them to be something they're not (i.e. people) and to fill an emotional hole that they can't possibly fill. And I think that's not good for people or dog. Constantly worrying about a pet doesn't equate to love.

I've seen an awful lot of people cling to their dogs in a way that turns the dogs into stressed-out animals unable to function on their own, fraught with problems like separation anxiety and other behavior issue that are very difficult to fix.

Dogs, like people, and especially kids, easily take on the stress of those around them. By constantly worrying, you're very probably causing your dog worry too. And I'm sure that's not what you intend.

It's devastating to lose a pet. I remember when I lost one of my dogs years ago, I was visibly upset in work. And a guy across the room, someone who came across as very gruff and standoffish, emailed me that he understand because he loved his birds just as much. And that it's sometimes harder to loose a pet than relatives, because our pets have no emotional backage with them. Only love.

Everyone takes a different amount of time to grief. Sometimes, I'll think of a dog I lost years ago and it will bring tears to my eyes. But at some point, you have to let go, for your own sake and that of your future pets. As munkos says, you run the risk of not enjoying them and being there for them fully now because you're so worried.

onyxdaily - I don't mean to hurt or offend you, because it's obvious what a devoted pet owner you are. But I feel very strongly about this issue because worrying isn't going to benefit your or your dogs.

I am experiencing the very same thing. I lost my old girl January '06, and I still have not fully recovered.

I tend to be on the strong side, have lost many humans close to me, but this was the worst. I thought I was fully prepared because of her numerous issues, but I was not. I totally collapsed with grief more times than I can count that first two weeks. I did take off work some, but decided that if I didn't do something to get me out of the house, I wouldn't make it.

I have talked with folks without children (I am) and the experience seems to be worse. Our pets are literally our children with fur.

I had two other dogs, one was always referred to as the "interim" dog when the old girl went. This did not go as planned. Things were so bad, something just had to be done. Three months later, a four month old pup entered the house. Just what the doctor ordered, a perfect distraction for all involved.

Good luck!

SG

We are close to our dogs too - especially the one we raised from a pup. DH has no children, she IS his furkid.

I know that the day will come that we will lose her; I do worry about DH's response to it. I know that she will leave a hole in our hearts and that in time (and maybe another dog) that gap will be partially filled. In the meantime, I just try to enjoy each day that we have with them.

I agree with others... Can't be too close, but shoudldn't obsess over it either. My family hasn't spoken to me for four years because of my sexuality and their religion. My tabby Jasper is my family. Of course I have human friends too, but Jasper is soooo special. People have alterior motives, they are selfish and evil. Of course not everyone and not all the time, but generally speaking. My cat is the only other sentient being that shares my dwelling and because of that we grow closer every day. While I love him, I am realistic too. I knew when I got him that I would probably outlive him. When he goes, then it will be time for another after a period of healing/mourning... every end is a new beginning. I will miss him dearly, but I realize no one lives forever. As long as I have A cat, I will be fine. If someone said I could never have a cat again for the rest of my life, there would be a serious problem! Hope you are able to heal as much as possible. You know animals live in the moment... Try to be as happy as you can so that you can enjoy fully the time you have with your current fur babies.

I have the same attitude as Vacuumfreak. I love my animals and am totally crushed when they die, but I do understand they have a shorter life span. And I also know that for me, it helps a lot to have other animals that can sort of take up the slack while I am healing and grieving. I wouldn't hesitate to get another dog right away after Ruby goes. I know I need these life forces in MY life.

My beloved 15 year old cat died suddenly of a blood clot one night. She screamed in the middle of the night, and was dead within minutes. I grieved for a long time. It was so shockingly sudden and I had no time to say goodbye. One minute she was there; one minute gone. I don't think I've ever really gotten over that death, although time (it has been 5 years) has greatly lessened the pain. That cat's sister died this last summer of kidney disease after a long period of debilitation. That death was also painful but not as shocking. I think the grief process is different for every person and for every animal or situation. As a pet lover I do believe getting new pets helps tremendously.

I think as with everything you do in life, you need to give it 100 plus percent. I love my pets to pieces and I wouldn't have them if I couldn't love them fully.

I totally understand when people lose a pet and do not get another because of how badly they have taken the death of their beloved pet. I think they are missing out, but I respect the decision.

However, life has to be kept in perspective. If the health and wellness and possiblity of losing a pet is overwhelming you, I think you need to re-assess things. Life is too short to over-worry, and I also agree that your pet will pick up on your anxiety.

I don't think you can love your pets too much or be too close to them. I don't know about anyone else, but how can you help but love them and be close to them?

I'm a great listener but man do I ever stink with writing sympathetic replies in a forum. I usually don't but your post really did move me. I've read your other recent posts about your lab and I'm really sorry about the grief you're suffering.

I'm a bit overprotective of my boys too. I always have them on a leash and buckle them in safety belt harness type things in the car. If they're in their own bedroom and I don't hear any noise for a while like in the morning time (when I usually get some light whining and loud yawning type signals) I'll get right out of bed and go check on them for fear they may have choked or something. I watch them carefully when they're outside to make sure they don't get into trouble. Trouble seems to have a way of finding certain people and pets so you know...

I spend all day with my dogs pretty much. We go everywhere together that it's possible. So I often feel like I'm getting too close to them and setting myself up for some real grief if I were to lose them. And I don't know how I will feel when that time comes.
I know that's not what you're going through but just thought I would chime in.

I think everyone above has posted great words of wisdom. I lost my heart dog in September. There is a part of me that is frantic to have another dog and a part that is screaming no no no because it feels disloyal to her. The new puppy that's coming will be four weeks old Saturday. What would really betray her love and memory would be not to pass along everything she taught me about what a dog could really be. And in that there will always be a part of her with me.

Lisa

My beloved 15 year old cat died suddenly of a blood clot one night. She screamed in the middle of the night, and was dead within minutes. I grieved for a long time. It was so shockingly sudden and I had no time to say goodbye. One minute she was there; one minute gone. I don't think I've ever really gotten over that death, although time (it has been 5 years) has greatly lessened the pain.

Marita, wow...the exact same thing happened to me with my old kitty! New Year's Eve, 1994, fifteen minutes before midnight. What a shock. I didn't want to get a new cat at all, but my gf found one she liked only four months later.

Onyxdaily, I found that no matter what I was feeling, when my more recent gf and I found these two tortie girls in the arboretum parking lot, their need to have a loving home trumped my need to protect my heart from grief when they inevitably die. I know that I will go through this heartbreak again...but, they need a good home, you know? I do worry for them, but I do my absolute best for them and that's all you can do as well. And I look at it this way...I have had so many lovely moments loving these critters, it does make it worthwhile. Please take care...

onyx, Go to "my page" click on "my clippings" and scroll way down to "a tribute to Keebler" and read the whole thread. That says more than i can. Thats why i keep it. Sometimes it helps me for no other reason than i'm sad.
Keep talking about how you feel. It helps
and work on not worrying abt your pets so much. Try saying to yourself today i'll not worry abt_____ I'll just love them today. It will get better.i don't think you can get too close to your pet.

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Was it WS who said this.
vickie

No, you can't be too close to a pet because if you love them enough, they are family.

I have kids and buried a child and I have furry family. You loved your Lab and she loved you back. The new fur babies are not replacing her, they are making new memories and happiness and she would want that.

Love them like you loved her for 16 years without fear and they will love you love you back double.

Vaccuum did a great job of saying it. I agree with the thoughts above. My friends are also my children. But they aren't insensitive like many humans can be. I can always trust them, and they trust me. It will be very difficult to loose them, but they are so worth it. Grieving is a normal process, regardless of whether it be human or pet. Don't hesitate to love your new babies.

I lost a dear cat Emma to renal failure two years ago. This summer I rescued two four week old kittens and fostered them for three months. One went to the rescue group and was adopted and the other I kept. He reminds me so much of Emma. He looks exactly like her ..a very dark grey tiger with a pristine white belly and a white nose, and every night he sits on my right shoulder and sleeps as I watch TV. She sat on my left shoulder every night of her life and none of my other cats ever stay on my lap for more than a few minutes. Call me weird, but I feel Emma thru Henry.

"Life is too short to over-worry"

Labs are pure love, & your old girl was fulfilled by giving you all her love.
She would have wanted you to be happy.
She'd be very distressed to think of you making yourself unhappy.

Enjoy those new babies.

sylvia

ps: In answer to the question:
no, I don't think you can be "too close".
Questions of obsession, co-dependence, & disfunction (don't those things all sound very *human* anyway, not at all doglike?) aside, I don't think there's such a thing as too much love.

Our animals are pure positive energy, when we lose one it is part of the fabric of life lost. I hold each and every one of them in my heart, those physical and those in spirit. I also let them live thir lives without my worry, holding too tight on anything takes it's power(energy) away.

Once again being true to form... A most eloquent response Acorn. Very well put. You know, when I am away from my real computer, I visit the forums on my PDA. When I do that, I start from the bottom up so I can see new responses first. I read your response before your handle was visible on the screen. I thought, "I bet a million dollars that was Acorn!" One tap of the scroll bar proved me right! ;o)

Thank you to everyone who responded on this. It's really helped me alot, especially to hear of others that have experienced just what we have, and others who consider their dogs family. My husband and I talked some about this over the weekend, and we both decided that what we want to do, actually what we need to do, is try to relax more, quit assuming every little whimper, whine, sneeze, tremble, etc is some distrastrous disease (and believe me, I've imagined everything) and just start enjoying the doggies. And do you know what. We had a good weekend. The weather is getting warmer and we were able to let the dogs play outside for longer periods. We just sat there and watched them play with big smiles on our faces. And although I probably won't get rid of my worry totally (that's kind of my nature, just not to the extent it has been recently), our hope is that we can keep the worrying to a minimum and just enjoy the doggies for whatever time that we have them.