I agree and what an awesome camera too. Nice to see another New Hampshire gardener here!

I'm curious what his behavior was like while you were discussing the Phelps/calories article. Was he enthusiastic and engaged? Or was he even then on another planet? Did he read it himself, or just listen to you? Were there any distractions in the room, like TV or another person, or something else he was doing? If this is a matter of bad habits, then fixing it is a matter of learning new habits to replace them. I have boys ages 15 and 12. It is the 12 y/o's routine chore to empty the kitchen trash can. When he was first assigned this duty a year or so ago, he would often forget to replace the bag with a clean one. I would just say "You forgot something." At first he would look at me for a few seconds, baffled, then his brain would get around to it and he'd get the chore right. Now he forgets every now and then, and all it takes is a word or a look from me and he's on it, or he remembers on a delay on his own before I get the word out. My 15 y/o must unload the dishwasher whenever it needs it. The time is random, just whenever I've run it, so it's not something he does at a certain time every day. But I might say "Unload this when you get home." He remembers most of the time, if he didn't do it I just say "You forgot to do something" and he does it with apologies. * If he wants me to take him somewhere, he ALWAYS remember! LOL. We went through a time when he would not put things away in the right places (I think he was trying to get fired). And my pet peeve, he would stack larger pans on top of smaller ones after my kindly worded instructions, then my sarcastic reprimand (you could stack the plastic rings when you were 1!). Finally, after having the stack collapse when I opened the cupboard, I made a big, loud mess: I removed every pan and baking dish and lid from the cabinet, dropped them on the floor, and said "Fix this!" That was probably 6 months ago, and it hasn't happened again. I know my kids are going to forget sometimes and make mistakes, but when I see a habit forming I try to redirect them. Nicely, then with a sense of humor, then I get harsh. I do not like to repeat my directions over and over like a broken record, and I do not. When I see it wasn't followed through, I point it out as a question. "What did you forget to do?" "Where does that go?" "What are supposed to be doing?" "Where are you supposed to be?" Then I wait for an answer. If they really don't remember, I give them clues, b/c I know they know, somewhere behind the distractions, they have that answer in their brains! In doing this, I think I am making them think for themselves instead of me thinking for them, and hopefully, just maybe, working towards initiative. If my DS left a mess in the sink after brushing, I wouldn't fuss about it, I'd just say something like "Dude, you left a mess." They get the hint. When I need their attention, I make sure I have it. I turn of TV, radio, close the book, remove the Gameboy, and make sure I have eye contact. I tell them and use gestures (like counting my fingers). Then I ask them to tell me what I just said. I do that with all my kids, 6 to 15, and always have. At the younger ages, I saying "Where are my eyes?" But I will even say it to the older ones when they are really distracted. My 12 y/o will look around me to see the TV even when I'm standing 2 feet from his face and saying "Look at me." He knows I'm there, but has no idea I'm talking to him. He can really space out if he is focused on something, from TV to a board game to building Magnetix. He just really doesn't like to give up his attention easily. He is smart, teachers use the word "brilliant" in math, logical and a problem solver. His mind is always working on something. So when I need to "interupt" his thinking, it sometimes takes a lot to make sure he is really hearing me or focusing on what I want him to do. I could see one of my boys answering "no, no projects due" and then later asking to go to the library or use the internet for some research for the project they "didn't have" a couple hours earlier. The thing would be when I asked "do you have a project" it might have been while he was on his way to the bathroom, or waiting to ask if a friend can come over... so his mind was waiting to talk, not listening. When they ask later, I can even hear myself saying "Do you remember that part 2 hours ago when I said: Do you have a project?" And the child will honestly tell me "You didn't ask me that." It happens, people of all ages don't always listen when their mind is on something else. But we can set up the environment to make sure our kid is listening first. I do it almost every day. I will ask a kid "Do you want milk or water," that's it, really, two choices. They answer, and I give them the opposite. Or I have to ask again "What did you just tell me?" B/c as soon as I asked the question, my mind was already on asking the next question or giving some direction. So I'd make a plan to correct one behavior of his at a time. Be consistent, ask his input on what helps him remember. When you have a conversation, like about school, sit down and make sure nothing else is distracting. Make sure he makes a lot of eye contact and restates the questions, answeres, directions so you know it went in his brain and didn't float on by and into the unknown. I think the stuff you're talking about sounds like either normal adolescent behavior or normal individual quirks. Some kids will have more "space out" moments than others. However, it's still change-worthy behavior, something we want to guide them out of as they mature. But if you don't see some improvement after consistent redirection and attempts to build new habits after a couple months, I might check with a professional. Sometimes a subtle problem can be missed for a long time. Like you, when I see my kids doing something (or not doing something) that seems so "clueless" I marvel at the fact that they do well in school. I also have days when I wonder what kind of employees they are going to make! I just have to harden my resolve to teach them self-management and initiative! LOL I also have to remember that their little neurons are done yet.

sorry I didnt have internet for a few days so I was unable to respond... Some answers to your questions SS does have ADD. He has been evaluated by the school and by doctors. He used to play football and though he talks about it now like it was the best thing in the world... at both practice and games he would pay more attention to the car driving down the street then what was going on with the team. He sort of made one friend on the team but watching their interaction, it looked like the other kid was annoyed by ss. In school last year, several times when I was volunteering or something in school I noticed that he pretty much didnt talk to anyone ... at all. The couple of times I actually did see him talking to other kids... the other kids were picking on him and he was just kind of taking it. ((I've talked to him several times about standing up for himself but it doesnt really sink in)) I also put him in an art class with kids his own age... a local thing sponsored by a church... but still he only plays with the kids significantly younger than he after his class. I have thought myself several times that he might be a little more than just ADD. He is also extremey emotionally immature for his age, there is almost no connection between cause and effect, and (for lack of a better description) zero common sense. One on one with other kids he does so so. He is so immature that once his gaurd is down for a minute he says or does something "dorky" or "annoying" and the other kid doesnt want to hang around him or tolerates him until someone else comes along and then ss is kind of left in the dust There arent any family members his age, really there arent any other kids in the family other then ours. They are the only great grands nieces nephews...etc. I have my younger brothers and cousin. They are all over 18 but he really likes hanging out with them. He really enjoys music and wants to learn to play the drums. But that is kind of a solitary thing (music classes). I am considering putting him into beginning band camp this summer which is at the middle school he will be going to with kids he will be going to school with next year. I thought this might give him the advantage of getting to know some people before school starts.

I'm going to guess that many commenting on this topic are past 30....or 40. It's a different world now, fellow fogies :). I feel fortunate that I work with college kids, and have twentysomething offspring because I get a front row seat to see how very different their perspective is. To start, EVERYTHING is online, and online is literally at their fingertips. This isn't just millenials of course, but it certainly permeates the retail world. Used to be one really did depend on the salesman/woman to provide important information about whatever product we were shopping for. Just not the case any more--anything you want to know is usually available online, so like it or not the expectation is that the shopper already has done some research. And shopping online is here to stay. Again, like it or not-and Faron is eloquent about the service he provides as an independent vendor-many/most people shop based on price. Lower cost, free shipping and delivery to your own front door for many folks are always going to trump service. Corollary is what Faron also mentioned-people who use bricks n mortar shopping just to enhance what they already plan to buy online. Think sales people don't deal with that every.single.day? They do and it certainly colors how they feel about customer service. And last but not least, auntjen is IMO entirely correct. That last mile interface-the sales staff on the showroom or big box store floor-is almost certainly not making much more than minimum wage in most cases. It's awfully easy to sit at home on a computer and opine about how much better and more thoroughly you would be providing service....especially those who maybe haven't worked in a store for awhile, if ever. It's a tough way to make a living and many struggle to do so on the wages that stores pay.