Try building a house :)

It will be well worth it in the end, but it is very strressful.

I'm feeling your pain. I'm still not sure I made the right decisions and we are full speed ahead.
This is my first posting and maybe I just need someone to say it will all be ok.
We just did a complete kitchen gut with bump out. I have a tendency to research everything to death and now find myself second guessing everything I have selected.
The addition is complete and went extremely well. The floor was installed last week with cupboards going in this week.
I'm happy with all this other than some glitches with the cupboards....wrong face fronts on the drawers, drawers in the island where the microwave should be..all easily fixable but nonetheless not as planned. Will set everything back.

Here's the choices I've made:
Casabella Asian Walnut Floor/Champagne--stunning!
Homecrest Cabinets-Dover White. Island is Eastport Maple Sorrel with Ebony
Glaze
Quartz countertops-Cambria Canterbury
Butcher block countertop in the small pantry--will stain and oil this
Blanco Performa Silgranite II Cascade in Metallic Gray--agonized over this.
Stainless or Sigranite!!
Sharp Microwave drawer in island
Moen Bradford Faucet for sink
Ivory honed & filled travertine subway tile
All appliances are Kenmore Elite but did bump the stove up to the Kenmore
Pro for more of an industrial look.

Haven't made a decision on cabinet jewelry..torn between oil rubbed bronze
and satin nickel.
The countertop guys are coming tomorrow so there's no changing my mind on that!
We have an outstanding GC so I know that was the best decision.

After seeing the postings today of all the white kitchens with the white subway tile, I know I need to be on site when the backsplash tiles come. I think I need to have a few cases of white subway stashed in the basement for plan B.

Take this from someone who has been planning a kitchen since 2002, then had a fire, then has had to rebuild from a position of absolute, indigent poverty.

Start making a book. Keep every idea in it that you love. In picture form if you can. Then make notes under it. I know I've always had a ton of notes and item numbers that later, I have no idea of their meaning.

You can note the pros and cons of the things that really speak to you, then decide if they fit into your lifestyle and building situation.

Becoming overwhelmed is easy. There are so many cool things out there, then so many people who decry their efficiency and value.

My greatest suggestion is 1) don't settle, 2) don't be browbeaten by someone, 3) don't worry about being nice to anyone you hire (reasonable, yes, but it's YOURS), and 4) BE THERE ALL THE TIME, and 5) Take a breath.

Nothing has to be done in a hurry and you don't have to make it such a difficult thing. There are a lot things you can worry about later.

It's yours. Let yourself enjoy the process.

Christine

Lord in Heaven, yes. Too much out there. I figure each small piece that gets decided will help to winnow down the next decision and then the next. That's my theory anyway, lol. Sometimes I just have to stop thinking about it for awhile.

I GC'd our whole house reno. Talk about a sh&tload of decisions. It made my head hurt many a'day. The good thing is that you're taking "months" to do it. You're really in for it if you think you can make these kind of decisions in a couple of weeks. NOT!

I'm in month 3 of an renovation and find myself flyin by the seat of my pants. It's an old house and what started as a repair from a minor fire (only smoke damage) has ballooned onto a full blown restoration. It's not totally unplanned, I did take a couple months to develop a plan, but now I'm finding I didn't plan well enough. I designed a floor plan based on the existing one for the kitchen and after banging my head against the wall trying to fit a gas range into the space where the old electric was I finally realized that the range shouldn't have been there in the first place. I'm pretty sure that space was meant for a refrigerator! I'm now considering scrapping my floor plan after having some cabinetry built. On the up side I think I have a much better and safer idea, and the extra cost won't be terribly expensive. And it might still be possible to use the new cabinetry. Budget's out the window anyway.

So yeah I'm getting tired of making decisions but I'm resigned not to rush things and if changes have to be so be it. It's a learning curve and when its done its gonna be sweet. Fortunately I have very patient contractors. I gained some piece of mind after I realized I was in the drivers seat. I hear ya about reviews..ugh...its maddening! I too research everything to death. So my advice is take your time and don't be afraid to change your mind. You gonna have to live with it for a long time so get it right now.

When you get frustrated watch Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32JWUyd1Fw0

Three words to answer your question. Yes. Yes. YES.

I had no idea how many decisions there were to make. I'm at month 4 since my remodel started and finally starting to get close to the end. I spent at least 8 months before that researching and agonizing over every review until I thought I had made all the decisions I needed to make. Then I changed my mind a few times. Then there were things that came up that I had never even imagined. And so on and so on. I am still making decisions. Enough already!!!

It does get tiring. I took a few decision holidays (that was really hard though!) and eventually got over the negative review thing. I think I found it hard because I've never bought a single large appliance never mind an entire kitchen full! I kept thinking - if I get this one vs that one will I be sorry? Is it a huge mistake? At the end of the day appliances aren't forever. They aren't built like they used to be. And there are some lemons out there, but the vast majority of new things work like they are supposed to for the next 5 years and maybe 10 if we're lucky. I just decided to make the best decision I could for what would work for me and my family and then move on. You can make yourself crazy going in circles about every decision.

Hang in there. I'm seeing the light at the end of the decision tunnel now, and so far it's looking like it was all worth it!

AMEN!! And if you have not started construction, it gets even worse when you do! Yesterday, we spent most of the day at the house. Tile guy, electrician, tree pruner, painter, workers tearing up floor, fence builder, etc, ALL need to know something RIGHT NOW.
I think picking things (without outside interference) is fun, but dealing with these men has caused me to question the old saw about women always changing thier minds.....i have had MY mind made up, only to get from the DH, GC,(those two are the worst), "Well, what about this? Well, what about this?? Well, why don't you pick that instead? " If these options were cheaper, or they had experieces that swayed colored these opinions, I would be happy to look! But neither of them cook, so why are THEY trying to sway ME about a range??

Sorry to rant on your thread.......be prepared!

Nancy

Kammererk, I completely feel what you are saying when you say "it's losing a little of the fun". I too have been feeling the same way. This all seemed so fun back in October when we started the project. And I've changed my mind so many times - at times not because I wanted to but just because that's how things had to be. And I find myself second-guessing my decisions more and more lately. I don't have the answers on how to get the fun back, but I've read many posts where there's talk about wine. Maybe that's the answer, sit back, have a good glass of wine and enjoy the journey. :)

There is a real phenomenon called decision fatigue, and it is linked to decision paralysis and impulse buying. Nice, eh? :)

Here is a link that might be useful: Wikipedia: Decision fatigue

Springoz, there's a whole thread about buying marble and giving people who try to talk you out of what you want with its problems "the look".

I think everyone in a reno should read that thread and practice.

I see things as dominoes. Still! Because if I could get these bookshelves off the walls and moved into the LR, I could not only hang them and their sisters on the wall (getting them off the floor), but I could hang cabinets where they were, freeing space in the MBR. Then I'd have room to set my vanities, getting those out of the MBR. See the pattern here! LOL.

Hang in there. Go see Beaglesdoitbetter's pics for inspiration.

Christine

I'm tired and not one stitch of work has even begun yet! I am a real "researcher" and exhaust myself researching various items.

I'm finding it's good to do obsessive work on something and then get away from it for awhile. For example, I spent two weeks endlessly researching various appliances, educating myself, and now I'm taking a break from it for awhile. When I go back to it, I'll be more educated on the topic and may have some new thoughts on it by then. : )

I'm an exhaustive researcher by nature, and what I found helpful in our reno-- because there were so many decisions to make with a kitchen and 2 baths-- was to research to a reasonable amount, make a decision, and move on. And once I made a decision, not to revisit it and second guess myself.

In a way I'm glad I made all my major design decisions before I found this forum. I think I would have found the myriad opinions paralyzing.

Had first major meltdown last night!!! DH travels for work so I am already soldiering the day to day decisions alone mostly. A "while they are here, we might as well have them do this" decision to have them do some work in the adjacent powder room--lay same tile as in kitchen, replace toilet, etc. led to said meltdown. After a day of granite install where it was a strain to decide faucet/dispenser placement for 2 sinks, then be told that some wiring had not been pulled correctly and now that granite is in, we have to make some adjustments in which switches turn on what and now we will have to install a transformer in a cabinet....DH calls and begins badgering me about picking out a pedestal sink for the powder room so they can adjust the plumbing for it now as opposed to calling an outside plumber later which will be more $$. This went on for a few minutes and I finally burst into tears and said, "I've made 4,000 decisions everyday for the last 6 months, I can't think about a sink right now and I don't care how much it will cost if we have to have a plumber come later!" and hung up. He called me back 1/2 hour later and apologized. They found all kinds of problems at the start of the reno---electrical, plumbing, sublfoor, etc.. which of course meant more $$ every other day....when my contractor informed me yesterday about the transformer and wiring issues I told him (half-jokingly)"any more problems and you are going to owe ME money!"

I honestly had no clue how many little decisions were involved and thought the whole process would be more fun than it is. For me, the hardest decision by far though was the counters. DH was about ready to jump off a cliff rather than visit one more stone yard or tile shop!

I remember at one point saying I was so tired of deciding where every little thing went it would be easier to let the contractor decide and then just b#%*^ about it for the next 20 years.

You will be happy in the end.

At the end I made a few sloppy decisions because I was so tired of dealing with people and making decisions-- and because we were about to leave on vacation. Let it take the time it needs to take, to reduce these. You will get there!

I just want it to be over and to not think about my kitchen, other than when I'm hungry. I am ordinarily a decisive person who enjoys researching options. But it's not fun anymore. Everything I thought I had so carefully chosen, I'm looking at and going, really? Out of thousands of possibilities, this? I was scrolling through some photos on my phone and found some befores of my old kitchen and got a bit nostalgic for it. It wasn't pretty, but it was mine. I look at my semi-completed remodel and wonder whose kitchen I'm in. It's kinda like when you move out of a house that has many happy memories. When the walls are stripped and furniture is gone, along with the people who matter, it's just 4 walls.

I'm hoping that what I'm experiencing isn't actual regret, but mostly just reno fatigue syndrome.

We didn't find the decision making daunting at all. We were renovating a kitchen...not creating the Sistine Chapel.

The start of the design process to finish of the project took about 6 months but a good 3 or 4 was just waiting on the contractor to start and then finish up a few details. I suspect we didn't put in more than 2 months of time between the designer and having everything picked out. Could I have spent a lot more time endlessly reading contradictory reviews by people that from all I know could have been psychopaths? Sure, but what would it have gotten me? Once everything was done I saw a few things that we could have done differently but they were minor and didn't impact the finished project in any way.

Step back, realize that all it is is a kitchen or whatever room you are doing, it won't be perfect and whatever decisions you make now, if you stepped away for 6 months and came back to it you would probably make completely different choices. Once you realize that you will most likely not make any real mistake and that there are numerous "right" decisions there is no real pressure.

Yes. Decisions are hard. There is too much information out there. Even when I think I know what I may want, the decision WHERE to buy it comes up.
Between textures, colors, reliability and money....it is a nightmare.

For me, the decisions have not been hard because I am trying to create the Sistine Chapel. It is because I don't want my kitchen to fall apart like the Last Supper.

Like many people, we are on a budget. I am always looking at cost versus durability of a product, and can I afford X? If I can't afford it, then what is the best alternative?

Coming into this remodel, I know for a fact that there ARE wrong decisions when it comes to appliances. We have bought them with additional features, only to find out those don't work as advertised. We have bought electronics recommended in Consumer Reports only to find out they failed and thank goodness we DID buy the extended warranty on it.

And while I sure don't believe in the timeless myth, I didn't exactly want to buy today's version of shag carpeting, either.

For us, there will not be an opportunity to correct any design or major materials mistakes for about 15 years. In a couple of years, we will start having kids in college. That fact alone adds a certain amount of pressure.

CEFreemn - I am standing with outreached hands to the heavens and singing a loud boisterous AAAAAAMEN, AAAAAMEN, AAAMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!! This old girl settled and well, I am downright angry at this point.

You can read my post in the building forum about my issues. Yesterday at noon DH says, "I am getting a little angry with you because of the cynicism about the windows." I didn't say anything until last night. My response, "If I can't say it to you and get your support, then I can not say it to anyone. We are a partnership in this project."

sAS95 - While this forum is great, it causes me to have paralysis. My dear friend told me to stay away from GW and make my choices.

I am just so tired...

EXHAUSTED!!! Mentally and physically. We're building from the ground up. So I'd LOVE to be just deciding on kitchen things. Of course we decided to build so we have ourselves to blame. But it's just constant! And let's not forget that most of us can't stop our daily lives. So there's work, two school aged kids, two trips (one work and one fun) coming up back to back...life isn't slowing down for this build. I find myself staying up late at night to finish doing research or to make decisions that have to be decided on within a day or two. So I'm definitely losing sleep as well. I almost feel like some of the details I was SO concerned with at first will just end up being quick decisions because I'm already tired and we just started!! And then there's he little surprises that crop up that hinder a decision I already made. We will get through this!!

Wow...thanks to everyone for the empathy, support and encouragement. It's good to know I'm not alone. Sometimes I feel bad that I complain about having to make decisions when deep down I know how lucky I am that I am even able to have a choice.

cefreeman - I have been keeping an idea book (or maybe 16 idea books) and it is handy to refer back to when I start questioning my choices. And I'm going to find that thread on "the look" and practice it all weekend :)

springroz - I agree that it seems like the men think they're being helpful when they're continuing to offer suggestions, once you've already made up your mind.

jkoebnick - Wine's a great suggestion - plus I already know what I like there!

northcarolina - I read the wikipedia decision fatigue link - exactly what I'm experiencing

For those fellow exhaustive researchers - as Monk would say "It's a blessing and a curse"

joniepanie - sometimes when I'm talking with the architects or the decorator, all I can see is a wheel with dollar signs spinning, instead of visualizing what they're saying. It's so easy to spend others' money, isn't it.

I'm telling myself there will always be something new coming on the horizon to make me second guess my decisions. Yesterday my quartz was templated...A couple days ago I saw a pattern I had not seen before and truth be told I think I like it better than what I ordered. It would take things in a different direction but still doable. I figured maybe I have one last shot to run it by DH...he looked at me like I had 3 heads and rolled his eyes. I think he told me he didn't like it just so I'd put it to rest.

I'm in the middle of decisionland too, and the exhausting thing for me is realizing how many decisions haven't been made yet. I'm a much bigger fan of doing - I found I'm really good at ripping down drywall and pulling up subfloor staples.

As far as design decisions, I've found that it helps to pick one big thing to fall in love with and become immutable, and let all other decisions revolve around that element. Also, don't forget to imagine yourself being there and enjoying the space, and take every decision that turns into a reality (even something as small as a light switch getting wired up or a hole getting knocked in a particular place) as a little treat, a step closer to the place you want it to be.

peonybush, same thing happened to me with my quartz. I've subsequently seen plenty of other patterns, granites, soapstone that I actually prefer. But guess what? My counter's in, I don't LOVE LOVE LOVE it, but it's fine and I'm tired of thinking about it.

Totally tired, but thankfully about 98% of the decisions are made. Both of us are trying to work through "burnout" on the whole thing. We ended up doing a lot more work than we planned, most of it done by DH and myself. Can't wait to be totally done, but little things keep creeping in and we can't seem to finish it off. Hopefully by next month, and our little "facelift" that was supposed to take about 3 months but has stretched out to almost a year will be done.

Hang in there, but don't beat yourself up too much. It does sometimes help to take a few days away from thinking about it.

Linelle--I think I will be in the same boat, but I'm going to (try) to forget about it and move on to obsessing about the yet to be installed backsplash. I told DH that I am going to double-stick tape a section up for a week to look at it for a while. If I don't like it--bring on the next. More eye rolling. I will need to have a tag sale for my bad decisions. Sigh!

It isn't "fun". It's very stressful, and exhausting because of sleep lost. My advice is, if you are paralyzed and not able to make a decision, then don't. Your brain is still processing things, and at some point the right answer does present itself. Don't cave in to the temptation to "just make a decision, any decision" because you just can't take it any more.

The right answer does eventually present itself, and you will be happy and at peace with it. This is all worth it. The way to get through it is to keep focused on the end result.

Thanks sandy. It's fun looking at everything, but it is stressful to make the "final" decision, and although I know I'm not creating the Sistine Chapel, it's still so much more money than I've ever spent on something that I haven't been able to look at fully assembled. I'm such a visual person and can't imagine what this granite would look like with those cabinets and a different floor. Endless nights spent browsing houzz.com and showing pictures to the GC, architect, KD, anyone who will look and translate the look to my project.

I guess there's a very good reason I'm not a designer. Probably more like a million reasons!

Me too! Exhausted and an admitted over thinker!
So far
Brookhaven cherry with black glaze
Wolf oven
Wolf induction
Keeping elux fridge and Miele DW
Waterstone faucet
Keeping oak flooring

Still have to decide on cabinet hardware, lighting, and backsplash!!!

Can I scream now!!!

Less than one week to demolition!

a2gemini - what made you choose Wolf induction over Miele? From what I read here, most seem to prefer Miele. I can't find a Miele induction to try out, although I did find a Wolf induction and didn't find the noise problem that I've read so much about here. I can't believe you're that far along pre-demolition. I can barely stay ahead of the GC - Had to decide on a fridge and ovens already because the electrician needed specs. I have a little more time on the induction.

Lessons learned from GW -- there are very few magic or easy answers. I started with trying to 'just find the most cost effective cabinets' and am currently struggling with light fixtures (inside and out). The only way to know you have found what you like and can afford... is to find what you really like and can afford. Elbow grease, in short! Whether it's scouring showrooms or the internet (and hopefully both), you must do the research until you become the expert who can make the decision. I've found it always takes time, a lot of panicking (because one feels so pressured to make the right choice), and then eventually, I do narrow down the selection to something I really like.

I do get tired of the decisions... but have to say, there's a lot of satisfaction involved in making the right decision and even more in recognizing that you didn't proceed with your original plan which wouldn't have been as good as what you ended up with. I look very fondly at a lot of things in my new plan that I would not have had, or which might not have been as functional/optimal, if it were not for GW. Good luck!

The decisions are nearing the end. A lot will be wrapping up in the next 1 1/2 weeks.
Here's an update to the quartz dillema.. the Cambria Canterbury had been templated and ordered. All week I wasn't feeling the love with the white cupboards and this quartz. Called the KD 5 days later (on a Saturday). Couldn't do anything that day but would call me on Monday am...8:10am she called and said they hadn't cut the quartz yet and put the order on hold. Tears of joy. I reselected that week. Did a 360 on color and went with New Quay. I had her get me more and larger samples of other quartz and took all week to decide. It pushed things back a week, but oh well. I am at peace with my quartz.
The only decisions left are backsplash and cabinet hardware.
I'm pretty sure i'll be selecting white subway.
I first found GW well into our reno and wished I'd found it well before. What a great support group!
One thing for sure I've learned....step back--they really don't need that decision IMMEDIATELY. If you need to take a few extra days, so be it.

Congrats peonybush! Funny how these things happen. In our case -- after multiple delays with the countertop order (Cambria Torquay), I chose to proceed with the slabs which had been ordered, which meant gaps around the cook top area. And now, I have stainless there, which to me is an improvement.

I'm not sure if this thread boosted my spirits (from all the camaraderie) or made me want to give up on our remodel altogether (which would be a little inconvenient since it's half way finished).

I remember how fun this all seemed a couple months back. Now, I can't even look at a tile sample or bathroom fixture without wanting to run away. And if I see one more perfectly curated Instagram post that says, "THIS IS EVERYTHING!", I will puke.

Are there kitchen/bath designers who simply make basic purchasing decisions (faucets! toilets! sinks!) for those stuck in analysis paralysis?

I actually loved the research, but then I'm weird that way : ) The work was fine (partial DIY) as I love getting physical... up to a point. Now I'm just totally exhausted and sore.

The decisions of what to buy, which to choose? My goodness yes I'm tired of it. Granted, some of it's been fun (easier choices) - all the kitchen 'jewelry' (faucets, pulls) were easy, as were the appliances (I can be pretty decisive about needs) but when it came time to tally up the cost, that was not fun! But big things like colors for cabinets, counter tops, "what type and how much and where" on the lighting... some easy, some hard.

But I have to admit, despite all the difficult choices, I agree with oldbat2be when she said: "there's a lot of satisfaction involved in making the right decision and even more in recognizing that you didn't proceed with your original plan which wouldn't have been as good as what you ended up with"

It's such a wonderful feeling to look at our choices and say YES, that's wonderful! And had we moved faster with our remodel, we would never have had the chance to change our minds or improve upon certain things.

What I'm really tired of? Having to use the same utility sink to wash dishes, to clean up filthy hands, to clean up after our dog (who's in diapers now due to incontinence) and all the scrubbing and disinfecting of that dang sink! I hate carrying things all the way to it, carrying things back... oh to have a kitchen again! With a sink... no, 2 sinks! I'll be in kitchen heaven : )

I'm in the middle of this now. So many decisions but I keep thinking how excited I'll be with the final outcome. Here's what's going on today...