I live in the Michgan UP, on the Keweenaw peninsula (sticking out into Lake Superior). I think people here are far more polite then rude.

I provide software support (via telephone) to people all across the U.S. Most people (with very few exceptions) are polite, even under stress. However, I've always noticed that people from southern states are even more polite than others, as a general rule, while people from the northeast may be a little more abrupt. And that's a very broad generalization.

I live in NW Arkansas, considered to be in the Sunbelt or the South.

I would say that 85% of the people here are very polite. (A lot of new people are moving in. lol) I'm from up north, WI, and everytime I go back up north I am startled by how much "chillier" people are there. No hugging, no "please, thank you, ma'am, or sirs" flying around. I prefer the Southern way, thank you so much!

I just returned from six wonderful days in Alaska (Anchorage, Eagle River, Wasilla and Willow). We made comments constantly about how incredibly kind and friendly the Alaskan people were, including KT's own Karla and her DH.

Here in Orange County California people are friendly if you make an effort, give a smile, make a nice comment. We live on a cul-de-sac of 18 homes. Several of the neighbors are like family to us. We have 3-4 block parties a year and generally look out for one another.

Jodi-

The entire state of ND is friendly!

:lol I live in PA and I would find it very
unusual to come upon a rude person. Maybe it's the
locale? I visited in NJ last summer and I
could have cheerfully choked many rude "people".
Not just rude with words, but actually pushing and
shoving. Strange to me.

I don't really know, I've lived a lot of places and notice there are nice people everywhere I've lived and visited, even overseas. There are also jerks, not letting you in when you merge into traffic, cutting in front of you in lines at amusement parks (had it happen in Germany and the U.S.). I've had people everywhere go out of their way to help me also, total strangers.

i live outside of philadelphia pa and yes, i believe it's geographical. i travel into parts of new jersey as well.

the further upstate i go in pennsylvania, it's noticeable how much friendlier, or should i say, less rude, people are. you would know what i mean if you travel on the turnpike - the toll takers take on a whole other pleasant attitude. (although in philly it's AT-TEE-Tude).

parts of jersey are just as bad. i have a friend that asks me over and over and over agaiwe are out and about why i tell store clerks to have a nice day, why do i make eye contact and say hello to people i pass on the street, etc., etc. i always say it's good manners. doesn't hurt to be nice. everyone needs a smile in their day.

when i go out mid-west or down south, it's a nicer feel.

i thing larger, urban cities are the most rude and i think certain influxes of people are another reason for the rudeness.

just my two cents, and i don't want change, thank you very much! LOL

maryanne

I live in Seattle where the people are very friendly and polite. Even on the freeway people let you change lanes. I travel alot for the company I work for and frequently have to go to SoCal - mainly Long Beach, Huntington Beach, and Seal Beach. I can't speak for anything other than the freeway. People are rude and won't let you in, speed up if they see you trying to change lanes. I've even been passed on the shoulder and I'm driving close to 70 just to keep up. And don't even think about turning on your blinker - that becomes a big red bull's eye for people to really speed up and prevent you from changing lanes. In Seattle there is the occasional person who won't let you change lanes (maybe it's someone from CA?) ;>)

Hope I didn't offend any California's - I suppose if I drove the freeways there more often I would get used to the fast pace.

Uxorial, was that urban Pennsylvania you grew up in? I grew up in NYC and now live in rural Pennsylvania. People are much friendlier and more polite here!

In a city as densely populated as New York, the residents have to do what they can to maintain their own space. So there's little or no eye contact on the street, no casual chatting in the stores, etc. And driving in the city is quite a different experience from what I've become used to. When I go back occasionally, I remind myself several times, This is where you learned to drive . . . this is where you learned to drive . . .

OTOH, when I first came here I found the locals to be on the suspicious side -- not of me, necessarily, but just generally a tad paranoid. If I called a store on the phone, for instance, the person answering wasn't as open and ready to answer questions as they had been in New York. That has changed a lot in the 30 years since I moved here, as people from other areas have moved in.

And the local residents all looked somewhat alike and seemed to be related to one another. So different from the city, where I was used to seeing and hearing people from every international culture.

You've heard the term "Minnesota Nice". It's true.

When we moved to Illinois from Massachusetts we noticed how much more friendly and open people were there. I now live in California and I wouldn't say people are openingly rude, just seem to be more concerned about their own life. They pretty much ignore you and the common courtesies like 'thank you' etc. Also it seems like everyone is always so busy and rushed.
Clare

Most east Texans are polite and friendly, bless their hearts!

Sephia! I didn't know you lived in Seattle! Me too!!

I think people in Seattle are generally nice and polite. It's very rare I see outright rudeness to a stranger. It's interesting how I always hear east coasters say they think it's "fake" nice and that people here are more passive-aggressive, which may be true, but I prefer people be polite, even if they aren't truly friendly.

Strangely enough, the most directly rude people I've seen in this city are servers and bartenders...I think some establishments think they are "hip" if they have rude, stand-offish wait staff. I have a "ban list" of places I refuse to go because of how I've been treated there, LOL. There is only a few places on that list.

I grew up on Nebraska, and lived there most of my life. One lady I knew had moved there from NYC. I remember her saying how long it took her to get used to the friendliness in the midwest. The comment she made was that "If I looked someone in the eye and smiled in NYC, they were likely to follow me home!"

I'm getting from this thread, that there are more nice people than rude people out there overall, and I'm glad to hear that, because that is how it's always seemed to me!

Just stay out of the way of the commuters on the way to work, and specially on the way home, and you don't find much rudeness in the OKC area. :)

Moni

I agree that most Minnesotans live up to "nice." They are mostly friendly and polite, in a distant Germanic/Scanda-hoovian way--not at all huggy and no ma'ams or sirs!!

Just posted on lillipad's thread about the difference in Texans. We moved from a small town in upstate New York to Texas and lived in a town of about 16,000 for ten years, and never met ruder, more self-centered people. Tejas, the Friendly State? Couldn't tell it by the folks we met!
Then we got smart and moved to the country. That's were the friendly Texans live! So, geography has something to do with politeness and consideration, even within the same state.

Yesterday I had errands to run and when I got home I was thinking about what a nice day it had been. I thought about posting about it and including how many pleasant people I had run into.

Then this morning I read the "Is it just me?" thread and decided not to. Didn't want to hijack.

So I'm glad to see this and will relate a little about my day. My first stop was Sharp Shopper. As I went in, a man I considered to be the Manager, by the way he was dressed, happened to be walking by. He greeted me with a smile and a nod. There were 3-4 girls stocking shelves and there was a lot of talking and laughing among them as they worked. The cashier was friendly, thanked me and wished me a nice afternoon.

On to the Post Office where I needed help with the best way to return a package. The young man was so helpful and pleasant and we had a humorous conversation, which meant the lady next in line had to wait. She and I left the PO at the same time, talking about what a nice young man he was. No grumbling from her.

My last stop was at WalMart where a clerk went out of her way to try to find what I was looking for, and apologized because they didn't have it.

Is it geographical? I don't know. Except for visits in other areas, I've lived my life in the South, and good manners and good attitude are inbred.

In these tough times I think it is even more important to be kind and pleasant. We don't know what burden the other folks are carrying.

Y'all be good now, you hear?

Sue

I wonder if it isn't also based on the difference between rural, suburban and city...
I live in a college town - so it's a real variety.

I noticed years ago that rudeness on the part of big city residents was far more common than from people from lesser populated areas. Even in college in our small town, those big city students tended to be far ruder than anyone else.

Oh, I absolutely find a geographical influence regarding rudeness and politeness.

All my life, I've lived in the NJ suburbs of Philadelphia. One doesn't engage sales people in conversations (that's actually considered rude, and takes up the time of people behind you). It's not exactly that people are rude or unfeeling--it's that manners here are different. One endeavers NOT to waste other people's time with idle chit chat. And drivers can be a bit testy when they're in a hurry (and they're ALWAYS in a hurry around here). And you NEVER speak to a person on the street--it's just not done.

Well, we bought a house 30 miles away--in a rural city. Okay, that sounds like an oxymoron--you'd have to be here to actually see what I'm talking about. Even though we're only a few miles from 'home' we've discussed many times how very different the area is. Salespeople and people on the street are pleasant and frequently start converstations with you. The pace of life is slower and the people are just so much more friendly. It's an amazing difference to us--reminds us of the friendliness you encounter when travelling in the south.

Funny that so many of you mentioned the difference between big cities and small towns/rural areas. I had actually typed a whole paragraph about that in my original post, but deleted it (didn't want the post to get too long). I totally agree that people in small towns are generally friendlier. In big cities, there is a lot more anonymity, and that's reflected in how strangers interact. And in many states, like my home state of PA, there can be big differences from one side of the state to the other.

I have lived in small towns and rural areas my whole life, among mostly friendly and polite folks. Of the large cities I've visited, I'd have to say that Honolulu is probably the friendliest, followed by Las Vegas (but few people in Las Vegas are actually from Las Vegas). I haven't spent enough time in New York, LA, Chicago, or most other large cities to form an opinion.

Thank you all for posting! It's nice to hear that there are still so many nice people around.

I was born and raised in Detroit and have lived in lots of places, but we have been in rural Nebraska for the past 32 years. I really don't remember Detroiters being rude or unfriendly, but we do find Nebraskans to be very friendly, helpful and caring. It seems as if the majority of folks are "nice". I like that!!

I live in a college town of friendly folks. Even on the campus, if I ask a student for directions to a building they will usually walk out of their way to show me just where to go. It is kind of comical here. Downtown is full of 4 way stops. You stop and then motion the other driver to go first and they motion you to go first and then you both start to go at the same time. Iowa is very friendly.

I'm a flight attendant and can tell you it's definately geographical. The most polite people I have ever encountered are the Japanese. I'm sorry to say but Americans are very rude compared to other countries. (of course not all Americans).
Donna

I have yet to encounter one rude person here in Georgia and we've been here going on 7 years. I really do feel that the south is much friendlier and more respectful.

Linda, I agree with you there. DD married a southerner, and they are teaching their toddler to say yes m'am and no m'am. Her DH says that just plain yes or no sounds rude to his southern ear. He is a very kind southern gentleman.

Hi jennmonkey - where 'bouts do you live? I live in Des Moines. I agree with your comment about servers and bartenders, I've encountered a few as well. Maybe they're not from here? ;>)

I find most people in Seattle to be friendly. When walking down the street it's the rare person who doesn't say hello. The people who keep their head down or look straight ahead are few and far between.

I grew up in rural Ohio. As an adult, I've lived in suburban Columbus, Ohio; southeast Florida; middle Tennessee; and now suburban Atlanta.

I don't know if I'd say "this part of the country is polite, and this part is rude." Yeah, some things are just rude no matter where you are. And somewhere on these rude posts someone said it's easier to be rude when people are anonymous... I think that's the truth. OTOH, some behavior is more of a mannerism, and a mannerism that's common in one culture/region might be rude to someone from somewhere else.

As an example. In my years in Ohio and even in Florida, people never asked me about religion. It just was a private thing, people had theirs but didn't ask others about theirs. In south Florida, there is a lot of diversity of religion and it's left alone, no judgement, but people don't go around asking each other about their church. When I moved to TN, when I met new people, right after being asked my name and ages of children, I was asked "What church do you go to? Have you found a church? Why don't you come to my church?"

That freaked me out, I have to say. I found it rude, all my life that was not something you ask a person you just met. My instinct was to raise my eye brows, I wanted to say "None of your business." But what was out-of-line nosiness to me, was just common courtesy to them. No offense to southerners, I know they mean well -bless their hearts. ;o) Before I adjusted, what they call "hospitality" felt like nosiness to me. The fact that I kept to myself for a long time came across as rude, refusing hospitality. When to me, there was nothing rude about not going to the homes of people I just met, or inviting them to mine. I'd think "sheesh, people, get out of my personal space!"

DH claims to not like the "New York type." He thinks the poeple we've known from New York are rude, pushy, and arrogant. I disagree. I like the fact they what they tell me is the truth, even if a bit blunt. They are direct, I like that, you know where you stand. I am put off by "beat around the bush" polite ways of saying things. It comes across as insincere to me, which I find rude.

I did not grow up with "yes m'am and no sir." In our region most kids were taught to call adult family friends by first names. It wasn't rude, it's just what we did. No one was offended by it. I did not teach my kids that m'am and sir thing. First week of school in Tennessee, my son was in trouble for being "rude" because he answered the teacher's question with "yes" instead of "yes, m'am." I thought it was rude to assume he meant offense instead of recognizing the whole world doesn't function on the same expectations. I still didn't care if my kids answered me "yes" or "yes m'am," but I had to teach them to assimilate in the outside world as long as we lived there.

I am starting to think there must be a difference in customs when it comes to parking lot behavior. I see people standing in the middle of the driving lane in a parking lot, only look up at me when I pull up, no intention of moving until their conversation is over. So I am starting to wonder if to some people it's rude to be in such a hurry, while to me it's rude to have a family reunion in the parking lot.

Yeah, there is some behavior that is just plain rude no matter who or where you are. But I think those people are in the minority, that their numbers are spread out equally in all places and age groups. But in highly populated areas, where people are strangers to each other, there is less accountibility for bad behavior. Small town rude people just have to learn to control themselves better b/c everyone knows them... but still, inside is a rude person who will come out when they think no one is looking.

This is from me, who has lived in very small rural towns and large metropolitan areas. In short: 1. Rude people are evenly distributed in the general populaion. 2. Certain behaviors are subjective, some mannerisms can be acceptable to one culture but rude to another.

I've lived in small towns in Texas all of my life and I would say that by far, people are polite and friendly. The area has grown very much...between Houston and Galveston, and recently, following Hurricane Ike, I was struck by how very nice everyone was. Like, there were food shortages for several days and when a supermarket opened, there wasn't a lot of food on the shelves and no fresh milk or meat, and it was absolutely packed, but people were so nice and everyone smiled and offered to be helpful when they could.

I have traveled a lot and have found almost everyone I met nice, friendly and helpful.
I even met very helpful people in NYC with the exception of a bus driver. But I am sure he was having a bad day and it didn't help when we didn't have correct change ready. But people in the bus helped us make change.
I had a friend who moved from the Palm Springs area to our small town and she really did not like the friendly atmosphere here. They moved back to the desert several years later.

I live in San Francisco. It's crowded and fast paced. The bay area seems to have more than it's fair share of people who are "all about me". People tend to protect their personal space. If someone stops me on the street to ask the time, my first thoughts are am I going to be robbed or hustled in some way. We've driven cross country a few times and the thing we always notice is how more friendly people are away from the bay area. I've also lived in small towns and think it's an urban vs country thing.

I grew up in Tennessee and was most always surrounded by nice, polite people, regardless of their age or financial status. I moved to Miami in 1984 and was in complete shock from the rude, impolite people in South Florida. In order to get away, we began taking long weekend trips to different parts of Florida and that is how we ended up on Florida's Space Coast. At that time, the people here were absolutely wonderful. The sales people in stores were very nice and helpful and the general population was great! But, times have changes and most of the people in my area are extremely rude, impatient and impolite.

I live in the suburbs of Philly and find alot of the people to be rude - both from the good side and bad side of the fence if you know what I mean.

Philly in general has been known to be quite rude. Not sure why, but I've read ALOT of forums that people who travel here and live here complain about that very thing.

Oh well, I consider myself not to be one of those rude people, unless I'm given good reason to be.

We've lived in Arkansas, New Mexico, and Oklahoma during the last ten years. Most people have I've met have that initial politeness of holding doors, saying 'thank you', etc. There are some parts of the southern politeness that are superficial and almost passive aggressive. Firemans wife's post about her mil putting cookie dough in her freezer the other reminds me of that type of agressiveness and underhanded behavior. Maybe it's because I've been around southern culture more that I relate that type of behavior to southerners.

We travel often and have visited most states in the continental US. Oregon, Washington and California had the nicest people in that order. The folks in Oregon are very very helpful. I guess the pioneers who settled it had to help each other to move there and the tradition carried over. It may not always be the case, but for us Florida, Maine and Massachusetts have the rudest.

I find people here in OK to be nice....of course we live in a small town.... I notice when we get to Tulsa or the City they are more rushed and less patient. I think the friendliest state we have ever ever been to is Missouri. Every time we were in the car our arm got tired because every single car that passes waves at you. I lived 13 years in Michigan and went back in 81 when we graduated and people their are not near as friendly....Stacy

I find that the vast majority of people are polite, but the degree of casual warm reception to strangers most definitely falls into regions of the U.S. - I've lived in many different sections and have traveled all over it and this is my own personal observation - it probably depends upon how a person perceives their own treatment by strangers wherever they are, though.

Kentucky-It's just that friendly---that is our state motto.
I don't know much about the rest of the country but in my little corner of the world 99% of the people are friendly and polite. The company I used to work for was bought by a bigger company from Lancaster PA, so we had a lot of visitors from up north and I found that they were all very nice people, but on one trip down they told us as they were driving through a very small town to get to our small town thwt people were out in the yard mowing or gardening or just relaxing and as they drove by they would wave, they all wanted to know why all these people were waving at them? One girl even asked me what they wanted. I had to laugh, they just wanted to be friendly and say howdy. Very friendly part of the world, even complete strangers. Store clerks and waitresses all ask how are you doing today, and they chit chat about the weather and just life. I'm very lucky.

I grew up in the south and have always said,"mam and sir". I work nights in the trauma section of a large hospital and could not believe the people who snarl,"why are you calling me mam? You are older than me". LOL

sephia, I live near Northgate right now, but have spent most of my almost 10 years in Seattle on Capital Hill. I had a brief stint living in Olympia also.

lexi7, I agree about Oregon...I always thought Seattle was pretty nice and friendly, but we don't have nothin' on Portland! I love Portland and everyone is SO friendly there.

From Ontario. I think generally speaking, we are fairly polite. That is until we get behind the wheel of a car and all politeness goes out the window.

I think politenss depends on the weather and time of year. People are SO polite around Christmas then the day after it's back to usual.

I think I am more polite and nice once winter is done.

For what it's worth, I also think politeness and niceness is something you create. For example, if I am in a good mood and extra polite one day, then I find that everyone is nice and polite.

But when I'm grouchy and just want to get on with the day, I find most people just as grouchy.

I think that maybe it's my aura and I might not be so congenial to others as I think I am ... ?

BJ