Waiting for the end result with panic and dread

14 years ago

My kitchen is going to start coming together in about 2 weeks and I am almost dreading it.

I don't expect anyone to actually respond to this post, but I need to vent before I explode with panic and anxiety.

I feel like we have picked the riskiest choices known to mankind. My kitchen hasn't even been installed yet and I already feel like I don't want anyone to ever come over to see it.

I am downright terrified beyond belief. I am having visions of sanding down and staining my brand new hickory floor cause what if it turns out zebra even though the very large sample didn't show a hint of zebra. But it is hickory; it could go that direction. What if we didn't buy high enough quality and it looks terrible in 3 years?

I am having other visions of having to sand down my brand new birch island and attempt to paint and glaze it to match my other painted pieces because it's too much zebra hickory mixed with too much unique-style-stained birch that looked really cool in the door sample, but is just way over the top as a whole kitchen - and the island is the one piece of the birch I can change.

I am having yet more visions of having to hire an interior designer to come over and recommend what can be done to make my big mistake of a brand new kitchen look at least OK.

I ADORE the arches that were put in on 2 walls of the dining room, but I wasn't there when they did the 7' arch. I approved the arch for the 6' opening - and LOVE LOVE it, but my brother and DH did the 7' one on the adjacent walland it's not at the same arc. I don't know whether to tear it out and undo several hours of my brothers labor of love and re-do it to lower each side 1" to make a deeper arc that matches the other arch or to just leave it! After all, that's the arch that matches the other arched details in my house. The arch I love is really the misfit. But what if it's sheetrocked in and it's yet ANOTHER thing that's all wrong with my kitchen?

My husband says I am over-reacting. He loves all our choices. So do I....individually. I have no clue how they will all come together and scale out over a whole kitchen. My designer said this is truly going to be a street of dreams kitchen. But really who knows - it's so risky it could all hugely backfire.

I almost wish I'd just picked a travertine floor and backsplash, light colored Ceasarstone, maple cabinetry, and light beige paint. Not much texture or color, but at least then it would be safe, safe, safe. And I wouldn't be almost sick with worry and fear.

I think I am worrying way, way above and beyond what is normal, and I think most people look forward with anticipation not dread. How wonderful it must be to feel confident and comfortable with my choices - so if you feel peace about it, don't take it for granted cause kitchen hell is no fun! I fear this could be the most monetarily expensive mistake of my life, even though it has been wonderful fun and we've thoroughly enjoyed the project.

Featured Answer

malhgold

14 years ago

I've been there as I'm sure many of us have. I actually made myself sick for about a week of the install worrying about which appliance wasn't going to work, was there really enough aisle space now that the island was in, would my choice of 3 different cabinet finishes and 2 different counter materials really work. In the end...it all did!!! I know me telling you I'm sure you'll have the same experience isn't really going to help much, but hang in there. As Rhome said to me when i was freaking out, you've spent so much time picking everything and were so confident at the time, it will all come together. And if by chance you think the island clashes with the floor, you already have a plan for that! I'm sure the arches look fine and more than likely no one but you will notice. Sometimes I think we're all just "too close" to all of this. I know these are just words, but I REALLY know what you're going through and I wish I could take it away(because it stinks), but in 2 weeks you'll realize that everything has turned out just as you hoped.

Sometimes I think being TKO is really not a good thing.

Comments (23)

Sherri Stein
14 years ago
Our kitchen is still on the drawing board - but, I've already learned to stop over thinking everything. It's realllly hard! some people say it's just a kitchen. You spend a lot of $$$$$ for "just" a kitchen. I think you're a prefectionist. Your kitchen sounds lovely - so enjoy and can't wait to see the pictures!
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spinmomnj
14 years ago
I totally sympathize! I can't sleep when I think about my renovation and I have had too many breakdowns and fits of worry. I hope all our homes come out just as we'd like, and I'm sure they will but that doesn't stop me from doubting all my choices. I cannot wait for it all to be over. Good Luck, and let us know how beautiful it turns out.
Gena Hooper
14 years ago
I absolutely sympathize, and I'm nowhere near installing my choices! But once everything is up, it'll be lovely, and it'll be your creation! Not some generic beige blob of blah that you'll be bored with in a few months. It sounds lovely, and I can't wait to see it.
numbersjunkie
14 years ago
I totally understand how you feel. I'm pretty conservative, and making major design choices is really agonizing. Sounds like you made choices based on what made you happy and not what everyone else is doing. I'm sure it will be beautiful - and I can't wait to see pics.
rhome410
14 years ago
Listen to Malhgold...She is telling the truth, both about what she went through and that things will work out. You've thought them through a LOT. Have faith. Things will likely not all look EXACTLY as you imagine, but let them have that and make yourself expect it to some extent. Natural materials have variation..That's good and you chose them because of the beauty of that...Embrace it. It's OK to have a Plan B in mind for a possible trouble spot, but give that a chance, too. I'm betting your arches are fine. I sure wouldn't change the one that matches the rest in the house and I wouldn't change the one you love. Sounds like you have the best of both worlds.
madamg2u
14 years ago
I know how you feel. I'm so afraid I wont like my choices. I won't feel comfortable. I've been second guessing myself and making myself crazy. A friend of mind told me not to go near the kitchen for two days. Let the men work and you will feel better. She was right, I hadn't looked for two days and today I saw walls, a ceiling, and cemented floor. So much better than studs and dirt.

Just breath, relax and know that it will be fine.

MadamG2U
rnest44
14 years ago
I'm right there with you. I thought once the granite was installed I'd have a sound night's sleep. Nope. Now I'm worried about my faucet choices and whether the range and hood will be as I am envisioning.

Second guessing is normal since you are spending a lot of money, making a lot of decisions (some rather permanent), trusting those around you, buying sight unseen in some cases, through samples in other cases...it's a lot of pressure. BUT it will all work out and you will be cooking away in a beautiful new heart of the home kitchen soon enough.
pinch_me
14 years ago
Let's form a club. You can be President and I'll be V.P. I want this kitchen done so I can fix it! Between the bad weather and other committments of my contractor, nothing will get done this week. So I'm spinning in place and stressing over no action. I had hoped the sheet rock would be up and I could mud and paint. Didn't happen.
squigs
14 years ago
oh, it's so good to know that you're not alone! Many of us here stress or have stressed just like you are. In fact, I feel like no one could be worse at kitchen renovation than I am! Everyone I know is pretty preturbed by me; they don't understand what could possibly be so hard! haha!

Hey, at least you've enjoyed the process up to now. I have found the whole entire experience painful. DH and I have different tastes and we don't agree on what we want, and somehow, after changing our minds a million times on everything, we have a kitchen! And we love it! I had no clue how it was going to turn out till I saw it because it was done in such a mish-mash way, with no actual plan, and I'm not kidding! Every time we had something new put in, I hated it and was sorry for my choices. I really have been a wreck! Somehow, now that it's all in, we love it. We think it's fabulous! (although compared to the kitchens I look at here, I admit that it is kind of weird and doesn't even have a particular style. but so what, we like it!) Now, we did have a few oops's that we had to correct, and others on here have also, and it is NOT the end of the world, believe me.

I think what I'm trying to say is that comparitively speaking, I think you're in great shape. cold feet is normal. but you've made a lot of decisions with a lot of thought, and it WILL turn out fabulous!!
crazyhouse6
14 years ago
If you played it safe, you'd be bored with it and left wondering "what if..." Take a breath and enjoy the fact that you've made some good decisions. I absolutely love my hickory floors! I also have stained birch pieces in one of my kids' bath and they are beautiful. The birch and hickory will work wonderfully together. I haven't posted much lately, but I am very much looking forward to seeing your kitchen come together.
dvdre
14 years ago
Needsome ... I am so feeling your anxiety. My cabinets have started going in, floor will be refinished next week, appliances installed after that, then the backsplash.

-- I already feel queasy about the new paint color.

-- Are the cherry cabients going to be too dark?

-- Is the Typhoon Bordeaux granite going to be too busy?

-- Will the glass tile backsplash just add to the business and make everything a disaster?

-- Is this really a good layout, or will I hate it the minute I start working in this kitchen?

-- Oh, and the floors, will they end up too dark and my whole place look like a very expensive dungeon?
chipongo
14 years ago
It is funny to read all these comments because I feel like I, too, have thought every single terrifying thought mentioned above since we started demolition on January 4. I have been freaking out about each thing as it approaches--first the cabinets (they look great), next the floor (which I can't believe how much I like), now the appliances (which are half-way in) and the granite, which is being installed this week. All this is to say that you are not alone! And, I hope that you are as pleased with each step as I have been so far. (She says, as she's still freaking out about all that's still to come!)
pps7
14 years ago
Right there with you. Except we are building a house, so I have a whole house full of stuff to worry about. And construction has all but stopped for 2 weeks because of the snow. As long as we were moving along, I was okay, but now my anxiety level is sky high. What if everything looks wierd. What if the family room is too small. The paint colors don't flow, and on and on.

I just want it to be over so I can move it and stopped obsessing over it. But we are about 6 months away.
arleneb
14 years ago
I'm sure a lot of us have been exactly where you are. Like pps7, we were building a whole house, so I had that anxiety about a boatload of decisions. I love 99% of what we did, which is a huge relief. The house turned out to be very liveable, and I love how it looks and functions. When you're in the middle of it, however, it's easy to second-guess (tenth-guess?) everything. I wish I had a dollar for every hour I spent awake worrying about something -- and ten dollars for every worrisome thing that turned out fine!

So, hangeth thou in there . . . when things start coming together, it gets fun again. And most mistakes are ultimately correctable. Even our carpeting, which IRL reads totally different than the sample did! So . . .I'll live with it for a few years and then replace it. It's really not a life-or-death thing.

You're not alone!
cawfeegirl
14 years ago
I am going through the same thing. I JUST NOW realized that I made a huge blunder by going with Maple cabinets....We opened up the wall to the family room which has one entire wall of Linen White built-ins! I think I should have gotten painted white or cream cabinets--not maple!! UGH!! I picked my cabinets out a looooong time ago and then ordered them in December. Now Im thinking I dont really like them anymore. Im so so so afraid that I will hate them when they are installed and then what do I do???
needsometips08
Original Author
14 years ago
You all are making me smile. It's so good to see others are in the same boat as I am, even though I wish none of us were in it. But I do take heart reading the posts from those who've made it to shore can tell us it's not as bad as it looks while in the middle of it!

And the phrase, "generic beige blob of blah" made me laugh out loud - so thank you for that bit of humor :-).

Cawfeegirl, all of my most favorite kitchens have mixed finishes. See Margieb2's below. If your maple is installed and you don't like it, one possible fix would be to substitute or add a painted white piece to your kitchen to tie it in.
bibliomom
14 years ago
I do know what you mean! We (finally) turned in for permits this week and I'm freaking out about the layout all over again. Am I really crazy to put the sink on the peninsula and *not* centered under the window? Is my contractor uncle (who doesn't cook and has no kids) actually correct in stating that no one needs six feet of prep counter?

Ahhhhh!!!!!

And then everytime I pick up my material samples and say, "Maybe we should have gone with the green . . ." DH gets all panicky and starts trying to hide them from me again.

And the orange BlueStar that I want -- the biggest question mark of all. Can I *really* get away with that, and Cherry-ish Ikea cabinets and Yellow River granite? I can hear the forum members screaming in terror from here . . .

But I'll be even sadder if I end up with a cream, beige and tan kitchen ;-)
desertsteph
14 years ago
you'd all probably be even sadder and more stressed if you were stuck with your old kitchens for life - lol!
cawfeegirl
14 years ago
needsome...thanks so much...that makes me feel better. One of my friends suggested putting a maple slab in the back of the built-in shelves to bring the kitchen cabinet into the family room. Hmmm...I know people are painting that area a different color, but Im not too sure of putting maple "slabs" back there....
needsometips08
Original Author
14 years ago
I just have to add to this thread about how the story is unfolding.

I met with the cabinet people and the nature of birch's variation means I am sticking with my cabinet door. No changes there. That's fine cause honestly I really love the cabinet finish anyway. When I started with this thread it was just the one and only thing I could tweak, but I won't be tweaking after all.

But news on the floor, which was non-refundable. I am getting a second chance. It was supposed to be ready from backorder on Tuesday. Now it's going to be MUCH later. They won't even know how much later till mid-March. So I can pick another floor if I want. I think I will. I haven't asked for a refund but if I find flooring some place else I will.

I feel 1,000 lbs lighter because I am no longer committed to the flooring. I still have control over one of the biggest elements. I have a second chance. I have a do over. I was so stressed about the finish (I think it's only 3 coats urethane - ug, not enough). I was stressed about the uncontrollable nature of hickory - what if it ended up "way zebra". I was stressed about how beveled and distressed it was around the edges like it truly belonged in a rustic cabin, and I literally woke up twice with adrenaline zinging through me over the flooring choice.

Hallelujah, I have a second chance. I haven't ruled out hickory, I just feel free to think some more!

Any suggestions on wood? Would you go darker or lighter shades considering the cabinet finish?
needsometips08
Original Author
14 years ago
Here are my samples. This door has relatively little variation, but natural birch can get more wild like the picture at bottom (notice their granite is just like ours):

Old hickory flooring and my slab in 2 different lightings:

{{!gwi}}
amberley
14 years ago
I am so there with you right now! And to add to my anxiety, as soon as the walls came down, I changed my floorplan- from a peninsula to an island, changing the wall the fridge is on, and adding a bank of cabinets where the fridge was...the list goes on. All possible only because I am using IKEA cabinets, and haven't even bought them yet. I am driving myself nuts over my paint choices (which I still haven't made), and I tossed and turned last night over the plumbing rough in for my Shaws sink today, and now I am anxious about the electrician tomorrow.

I think your choices are beautiful-I especially love the floor, and will look fantastic when they are installed.

Maybe we should come up with the 12 step anxiety-calming process that we can add to the Sweeby test and other GW gems.

Waiting for the end result with panic and dread

malhgold

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Waiting for the end result with panic and dread

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